A simple question.

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Perhaps the gents out there might have some ideas from that side. And maybe the ladies who read here could offer their unique counsel. And, it is a simply question. But allow me to present fully, then ask.

Since I have moved here, and before to my youth, I have had no difficulty finding women with whom to lay. Whether I meet them at a store, in the past at bars, in school or college, where they work, or wherever, it does not seem to matter. Before the last few years, I partook and gladly of the offerings. I have enjoyed many women, probably far too many, though without scourge or disease for my sins. In my decision to become chaste, and my recent decision to become completely and truly chaste until marriage or death, I have had a good deal of freedom to explore these things more fully. And yet the same pattern continues.

That is, I am still meeting women who are quite willing to share their all with me. Which, on the surface, seems to be reason to bolster my confidence and perhaps even dip into the pool of bodily, and hopefully more, affections. It would also seem in line with my goals, that of finding a wife. So what could the problem be? Why would I take exception and flee the scenes only to need to pray like a babbling fool in order to maintain my chastity and goodness? Am I a fool? (That is not the question, we know THAT answer! But bear with me.)

My difficulty, and the question is: Why do I attract only married women? I have had some nibbles, mind you, from here and there, both single and married. But my two strongest hits have been from married women. Neither of them beyond the pale, as lovers go. Both have caused me great consternation in maintaining my oath(s). First to not be with married women, one I made long ago. And finally my oath to chastity. The senses have been so strong that the latter became too weak to sustain for about 3 weeks. The former has held, albeit sorely tested and continuing.

Is there something wrong with me which causes married women to almost flock to me? Is there something I am doing wrong? Must I be less friendly to all to prevent this attraction? Should I speak less and be dull to avoid this? Or is this normal? Are modern women, some women, or women in general, lead to such behavior as a due course of existence? I simply do not understand. Single women seem to want to stay single, married women seem to wish to explore. It confuses me.

The little I know of the two women is that one has been married for a great time, perhaps and most likely, the whole of her life, to one man. A man, often, she speaks unhappily regarding. With her, I think, my size is intriguing. She is an attractive woman who takes good care of herself, and is pleasing to me. The second woman has only been married some short number of years. She, too, is attractive and warm. She is younger than me by a sum but not great sum. Both work, and it is through their work that I have come to know them. Beyond that, I know little.

Confused, but back into the graces of my oath, sit I. Pondering the depths of a pool that I have either played in or now forbidden, but have never understood in any significant way. Though, that is not our lot, to understand the intricacies of intimacy, love, or stirrings along those lines. I do understand this, a swim in either of those offered pools of affection would be a dead end, would become complicated quickly, and would offer nothing but sorrows. Still, I would like to understand my question just a bit more.

Riddle me this...

Have a great day!