Green around the gills.

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I tried to sleep earlier but could not get comfortable. After a couple of hours down, and a good deal of pain, I just got back up. So tired. So very tired. I decided to cook the brots. Everything takes so much longer when sleep is needed. It took a couple of hours of thinking about it to simply light the grill, let it heat up, and plop the brots down. Such a simple task. Without sleep doing anything is like trying to drive while inebriated. I overdid them just a bit, but they were still quite good. A hot meal is always good.

My mother called to let my know my brother made it out of surgery in good shape. While talking with her, he suggested that his side hurt. I had to laugh, and explained that I wasn't laughing at him, more about him. Which was fine, she had chuckled about it too, while talking with him. Sometimes I can't tell if my... reactions, notions, words, are too harsh, too soft, or reasonable. She will be checking on me a bit more. She wanted to know what, if anything, I had figured out today. It was good to let her know about my various phone calls and at least that one appointment. That seemed to ease her mind to know I am trying.

Sassy is acting really odd. I am not sure what that is all about. Perhaps as the weather has warmed the bats are moving around in the walls. Perhaps it is merely the warm weather. It could also be my recent inability to be as attentive as usual. That and I have not let the girls in to sleep with me in a very long time. Since I have to constantly be rolling and adjusting pillows I simply cannot welcome their company. I miss that though, a great deal.

It seems my lungs are not the only things which are swelling. My midsection is too. I had not realized that was something that could also flood with fluid. A little more reading about heart failure led me to the notion. That explains some of the panting and lack of thirst and hunger. It is also the primary reason I can't sleep, as I think about it. Remember when I suggested that it felt like my abdomen had been used as a punching bag? That is why. The lungs, though, are still full, which doesn't help. But I think the sore ribs, as the pain is expanding, is the primary reason I can't get comfortable. I am going to take a handful of Tylenol, wait an half hour, and then try to sleep again. I am so tired my eyes keep trying to cross and my head does the whiplash jerk every so often.

Good night, I hope.