Truly green about the gills.

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My stomach is still a bit swollen. I am running an off and on fever. I have a general sense of illness, with waves of mild nausea. My breathing is easier, though occasionally I simply lose and can't immediately catch my breath and any activity will see me becoming less and less able to breathe until I am required to sit a bit due to choking out and waves of feverishness. This stuff makes it difficult to decide to take the medications, but I do, so far. I take the hard pills with a cocktail of Gatorade, powdered potassium, water, and ice. The drink is so filling that even at only 6 to 8 ounces it takes an hour to finish that off. With the Gatorade I can't taste the powdered potassium, but the mass of the volume is noticeably increased.

In spite of all that, this is as good as I have felt in... a while. My memory stinks, so a week or three or several months all blur. That, though slightly worse than most of my life here in Utah, is actually an improvement over life in Iowa and definitely better than any time I have tried "successful" high blood pressure medicine. I do have some memory and some time scale within which to work. And, actually, I have been making appointments well. At least recently and mostly.

So, today I will be taking a shower shortly. I will try to get a daily shower on days like this. The hope is to be ready should I hit upon a moment where getting to town and shopping seems reasonable. Once out of the house, even if I end up going downhill fast, I do get a few things done. A Sam's Club membership and various other shopping is a dire need. The brots will last a few days, but after that? My cupboards are rather bare. No, they are almost truly empty. Just getting out of the house is a good thing, all by itself.

I will also be trying to contact someone to talk to at my clinic. I need to know how much room I have to work with adding to the water pill dose, how to mitigate the nausea and fever washes, if these and other symptoms are just the way of things that I need to get used to from now on, and whether my hydration is going the right way. I simply feel like I have been left to luck through things, and really... that's too much. I neither have the skills and knowledge to know nor the fortitude and trust to simply "do". I know just enough to not know AND not enough to know better. Or, something like that.

If I don't make it to town, a shower might encourage me to some of my home care needs. While I have done some laundry, I need to do more. And, of course, dishes. Doing a load once in a while feels good as much as I hate the chore. Vacuuming is sorely needed, as is a general clear and clean. At least I am feeling well enough, within the givens, to actually begin formulating a way out of the malaise and lost ability to focus. I have a world to beat, if I could just... get... up! I am hoping showers will help.

Have a great day.