Some nights are simply awful.

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I can't tell why one night can see me finding sleep and then sleeping through the night and other nights being brutal. I was quite tired last night. I have been working on my schedule, trying to wake early and stay up until evening. It has been easier since sleeping is sometimes painful and sleeping beyond pretty much a bare minimum almost impossible as the pain becomes seemingly exponentially more painful every hour beyond some point.

I was having trouble even getting to sleep. Having, for the most part, given up on even Tylenol I could not get to sleep. My ribs and diaphragm simply hurt and breathing was nearly impossible. After a few hours of trying, I finally relented and took 2k of Tylenol. I still had to fight for an hour, after waiting an half hour before trying to sleep to give the medicine time to work, before I could settle in. About four hours later, I woke in the same condition I had initially started with. I could not find a position which eased the pain enough or allowed me to breath enough to sleep. After an hour or two trying to get back to sleep I took more Tylenol. Eventually I returned to sleep, waking just three hours later. Tired as I am I had to simply abandon hopes of real sleep last night. I would love to nod off, anywhere that might be comfortable, but as soon as I do, I end up waking as I end up shifting into a terribly painful position or into a position where my breathing becomes an issue again.

So far I only get nights like this one or two times in a row and then I catch a break. I never sleep well though, not really well. Once or twice a week I will sleep through the night and almost feel rested in the morning. Lack of sleep, like this, won't kill me. It might add stress to other problems. At this point, everything is doing that. I wish I knew what allowed things to get better and what to avoid. Then again, I couldn't avoid much more as I do, eat, and drink so very little. Even if I wanted to add activity, that isn't really possible. All I know is that it sucks to wake up choking for air and not being able to get it.

Later.