Feeling better.

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The slight vacation from medicine has been wonderful. Today is the last day, then I go back onto a cut dose tomorrow. It is not that I am doing all that much more, or truly more active, it is more that I feel more normal. The difference would be comparable to camping in a frozen landscape for a week, with warmth never being more than enough to simply sustain, then finding a place where real warmth can be found. My brain and body are much more functional, awake, conscious.

I hate going back on the medication but I think it the wiser choice. At least I now have this tool by which I can get some R&R before trudging back onto medication. As I said though, I will be cutting medication, and possibly doing it again, as I need. The doctors simply can't get what they want. If I end up living a few years less, so be it. I have no choice in the matter myself. To be honest, I think the medicines are working anyway. In February I am going to ask that they test my heart again. I'll put ten to one odds that it is better, possibly much better. We will see.

I still can't do much. Which is fine. So long as my mind is my own and my body does work for the little things I can get it to do. If I can only get to half of what I want, it is much better than not even being able to stay awake without my eyes hurting as if I hadn't slept, despite sleeping most of the time. Heck, I was sleeping right here in my chair, for much of the time.

Sweeping and mopping and the plate and few pieces of silverware in the sink will be washed tonight. Tomorrow I will probably dump what remains of the beans, which means I should set another pot of beans to soak in order to cook later or tomorrow. I probably will go with half of what I made last time. About a pound of dry beans is what I can eat before they go bad. I will check on the rice too. Those two make an excellent group of items to have around as adds or even a nice mix all by themselves. Component food works well.

Later.