Another rough day.

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I keep working with the heat. The actual temperature is high, higher than I generally like it and yet I am still cold. Showers don't help and I am wearing two layers of clothing and thick wool socks. I think when I am tired I also feel cold. Yeah, it must be my heart. While it is in bad shape, sometimes it works better, sometimes worse. Either that or my body needs or wants more than it can get, so goes on strike from time to time. Thus is explained bipolar. Well, that and when I get a window of opportunity I take it for all it is worth, knowing when it passes it may be some time before I can get to things again.

I am not yet sure if warming my body enough will actually help me function. I know to a minor degree it does, but in a major real way? Of course, the last few days, I simply haven't been able to get warm. I have even pushed the furnace to push the temperature to 78 F. Hot showers don't work either, when I get out my felt comfort zone plunges and I have to work at getting warm again.

I have been working on the tax forms. It has been slow going. The IRS certainly doesn't make it easy, and I am doing a simple tax return form. Then I have to do an addendum form. They seem to write whatever they want, vaguely, occasionally, defining what they mean. I haven't filled one of these out in 25 years or more. It doesn't help. If it were for a few hundred dollars I wouldn't even bother. I can't believe there hasn't been a revolt, just on tax code alone. Not my problem, usually. I guess Americans truly have become peasants, following unclear orders, doing what they are told, and simply accepting whatever is given to them, as a group. The tax code is so convoluted that they could probably arrest anyone on tax violations, with just a minimum of looking, considering how loose the definitions are and how vaguely they are explained. That is how communists and socialists always worked things. It gave the dear leaders and the apparatchik the leverage to do whatever and shut up anyone who disagrees. Ugly.

I can't seem to get anything else going. I might not even finish the paperwork. Tired. Beat. Cold. I'll still do my routine. I'll still keep the other things on my mind and get to them the first chance I get. But for now, not much will happen. At least it is a weekend. I don't have things on my list I can get to. So, for now, it is okay. Tomorrow, though, I have a dozen things to do. Rounding up the last of my personal references, writing a letter for my mother to consider, discussing things with the agent regarding the cwp, talking with the lawyer regarding the accident, and perhaps Mass. Those are hoped for, but what I have going this week. Well, and finishing the paperwork to file for a credit.

On top of that, I need to get caught back up with my home. I want to stay on top of it this time, not having to do a major job later on. Oh, but I am pleased how things are going. I want more, but this is as much as I could possibly do. I want to do many more, bigger, heavier, harder things. But let me stay with these baby steps. Let me prove that I can do these, then consider something more. I think I can get there. Good day. Perhaps even good night.