Mass.

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I didn't quite get out as early as I had hoped. Time just slips by so fast while I am doing minor research. In this case, looking a little bit more for one of those L-pins. I was there in time for 15 minutes of quiet time. Father was... surprised to see me... again. At least is seemed like a pleasant surprise. I am sure he has heard of me before. What he has heard came from a time before the correct diagnosis and treatment was being applied. It has been three weeks, starting midweek, since I started going back to Church, after making it to Reconciliation on a Saturday, iirc. I have been to Mass seven or eight times now. I still have no real idea what I am doing. I am trying to figure out the hymnal guide, and getting better at it too. I will be a mumbler for a good year, for all I know. On top of it, they are changing some things. I haven't looked that up yet. It is on the list. I have heard there is something in with the hymnals, a cheat sheet, but I haven't found it. The change is either just happening or about to happen. Ugh! But, there it is.

There was a form to fill out, tonight, regarding needs of the Church. Jobs for people to do for Mass, lay preaching, and such. I am going to fill it out and take it in the next time I go to weekday Mass, Monday most likely. I will, again, apply for prison work and perhaps a few other items. Visiting shut-ins, the Knights of Columbus, and offering to train to fill in if there is an illness among ushers, readers, and such. I can do almost anything, so long as I am given enough notice and shown what to do. My problem is gas money. This month I am short due to unintended consequences. I am, well, usually short. Buying a home and an auto is difficult. I honestly don't understand how the average working man makes it, considering my "income" is generally considered average. I have a tough time, without a family, without having to drive to work every day, without lots of normal expenses like clothes (since I wear proper clothes rarely, sticking to pj's and such).

Still, I have decided what to get myself for Christmas! What do you get a guy who has all he needs but only wants a bunch of other things too? Ah, more expense? Yeah. My gift to myself is to begin an automatic payment to the Church. I would like, eventually, to get my life in enough order that I can bring my pledge in every Saturday or better Sunday. But right now I just can't be sure that would happen. So, an automatic payment will have to do. I will have to look over my finances, see how much I actually have clean each month, and give a portion of that. It will be humble, it will hurt, but... what are gifts for otherwise! *grins* Bah, it still won't be so grand as the widow's mites.

That is that. Oh, I should call my lady friend and let her know what is up and give her those numbers. That should give her some freedom, for now, for that which haunts her. While I don't sympathize, at all. I do. No, I am not a sucker. I know the score. I may not be Christ but I certainly see some small part of what He saw... and why He chose to give Himself. He gave well beyond my little gift, for sure. She is more alone than any human I ever met, I thought I was in a bad way... before I met her. And, I do love her. Like a sister, mind you, now. To the best of my ability. Never you mind. Just understand this isn't me being tricked or such, or infatuation. It is so one lonely alone woman can rest her uncertain weary head for a few moments until she can get on a better path.

Well, enough of the fluff. Later, or perhaps good night. I have to be up, and moving, early tomorrow! Ugh-a-wugga!