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The snow covered landscape backed by whitened peaks topped by a mixed group of angry and fluffy clouds, and yet with the sun peeking through most of the time, makes for a reminder that there is God. With the sun blazing the frozen world, glinting off the white, it seems odd to call it winter. No other time of the year is so bright. My curtains are open of course. It is good to be here in so many ways.
I have an appointment this afternoon. One of the men from the KoC will be visiting to discuss some things. To that end I have begun cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes, doing the last bits of laundry as a side project. It is so much easier to wash everything when it is fresh, before things dry. I simply didn't have it in me. So be it. I should have my dishes washed and kitchen cleaned before my guest arrives. I will ask if he is hungry. I still have enough roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, and apple crisp to easily feed a small host of guests. "Are you hungry?", is something I heard often from my mother to visitors. No one left her home hungry unless they chose to do so, even if she really didn't like them often. *grins* I like that.
While I am moving slowly, taking breaks often, happily, good long breaks, I am also keeping on the tasks. I am quite tired. I have pushed too hard and too long. But, as a few other times have shown, this is the point in my progress where I get to try to keep up with my progress, perhaps even taking that next step. This type of plateau will come and go for the rest of my life. At some point I will reach the highest functioning I can obtain, given my condition. This isn't it, I don't think. It will come at some point. Just not yet. So I must keep on going.
I am going to ask them to test my heart, or schedule it, the next time I visit the cardiology clinic. Since this is as much medication as I can take and I will have been on it for three months by my next visit, and given what I have been doing, I am hopeful that it has started to heal. If so, I will be much more comfortable going forward with other things, and more, ready to begin new ventures more bravely. If not I will need to investigate what is available to help so that I can move to that higher dose. Either they actually want me to take the medicine and will work with me on home health assistance or a temporary assisted living situation or they are not serious. No one should be forced to live like an animal to take needed medication, especially when taking that medication is a self-defeating process as it cannot be maintained in a patient's current situation. I can't do much about them, I can only present them with the reality, once again. A final, and probably unsuccessful, time.
Well, on to... the rest of my break. Keep at it, it does get done, one project at a time. There is always more. Simply don't worry about that, do what you do. Good day.
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