So very strange.

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I write as if everything is normal.  It's not.  I can't explain to you what it is like.  There are examples which I think might help explain things so you might understand.  Are there any shops you visit often, places where you know where everything is.  Perhaps you know the shop owner.  Imagine going into the shop when it is closed.  You don't know how you got in, you don't know what the rules are. Or perhaps during a surgery you wake up.  You feel them tugging.  You hear them talking.  You have a vague notion of disembodied pains.  Hello?  I am awake in the back side of my world.

While I am not out of it, I do drift a great deal.  Hours can skip by.  I didn't realize it was "this week", actually.  While that might not seem like an improvement, you just have to trust me.  I am mostly conscious most of my waking time.  I can remember what I ate for meals, who stopped by, just not keep time and date in order as a system normal thing.  While I am still suffering various pains, at various levels, I can do little things and do them when it all comes together.  After making it through that initial few days, I am, at least for right now, thinking I can keep consciousness balanced for the longer haul, until I am back on my feet. 

Wednesday?  Really.  I didn't even have an idea of what day it is.  I was focusing on other things, getting past some stuff, and trying to do a few things.  I am rather limited in how much I can track at once.  I see I have an appointment coming up fast.  I have it in my phone, with several days advance notice built in.  I should check and make sure that is as I want it, maybe add another day to the notice file.  This is going to be tricky.

I could not get to sleep last night.  I wanted to sleep at 17:00, a nap, but knew that wouldn't work.  I didn't realize the time until midnight, and tried to sleep then.  An hour or two of tossing and rolling saw me out of the bedroom.  I couldn't sleep until about 3:00 or 4:00 or 5:00?  I really have no clue.  Woke at 13:00, so I am guessing it was 4:00 or 5:00, I seem to sleep closer to eight hours, usually.  No guarantee, it's just become a more normal duration.  I am feeling better this morning.  The lungs still burn, just not as hot fresh embers, but embers that have burned down a bit.  Aches and pains seem less fresh and sharp as well.  It's getting dry and dull, but it isn't becoming overpowering.  I may find the stamina to last, if I don't hit too many hiccups of fresh pains or become too tired from it all generally.

Later.