Such an odd place in health and life.

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I think I have the hang of things.  The pain can be intense at times.  It is the lungs again today.  They truly burn.  What does that mean, you ask.  If you have ever done wind sprints, over and over, until you can't do them anymore, you know what I mean.  My lungs give off a sense of a literal burning when I breath.  It started out doing so only when I would take a larger breath, when yawning or such.  Now there is a burning sensation all of the time, even should I hold my breath.  Hmm, another way to think of it is, if you have had heartburn, place that feeling in your lungs, exacerbated by breathing.  As well, my upper chest cavity is very sore, a new thing for the day.  It feels stretched, as if from fluid.  It's not that, I've had it before.  That always starts in the lower lung area of the mid-chest and works upward as it gets worse, and sometimes downward, plus my feet swell when that starts.  Skinny feet means no water buildup. 

The good side is I think I may be seeing myself to being able to maintain consciousness.  I don't think I will be blanking out, not soon anyway.  I seem to be handling the pains and weakness much better.  My consciousness seems to be very strong this morning.  Then again, my ability seems to fluctuate.  Sometimes, for hours at a time, it all seems absolutely insufferable.  Actually most of yesterday and a good part of the day before was like that.  Other times, like this morning so far, life seems really happily miserable.  I feel good through feeling really bad.

I suspect my native pharmacological processes have much to do with that.  It just put a load of pain reducing chemicals into my system.  Even so, I have to admit, this is much more pain than I usually feel.  Without a clouded mind to go with that dsoing, this hurts a lot.  Ah, but my organs, for the moment, seem settled.  No twisting in there, no weird jabs at odd places in my internals, no flames or seeming globs of somehow pulled vitals.  That will be back later today, I all but guarantee it.  For now, though...  I'll take what I can get.

Yes, I will probably be whining until my corpse finds it's way back to a better way.  It's all I have.  I wouldn't take actual pain killers, if a doctor offered them.  That is what I am trying to get away from.  I'm not sure what they could do to help.  Cheer?  Doctors can't help because I doubt if they even know what this is all about.  No, I will just have to suffer through this, awake and hurting.  Next time I go in, I will let them know what this was like, and see if they know about it.  Then again, even if I thought they could help, I doubt if I could get to them.  I can write, and for the moment think, but any serious walking or driving is out.  Stuck, I am.

At least my morning is good, or better I should say.  Later.