Tough day, and night.

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Innards feel like I've been in a boxing match and my opponent was kind enough to focus on my torso.  While my hands were tied behind my back.  Why?  If I knew that I would avoid doing it.  It's bad enough that... well... every once in a while I become a little... faint.  I don't feel all the pain, as my nature covers much of it.  But flushing and getting a little weak in little flashes a few to many times a minute, tells me that the pain is there, just under the surface.  I won't be doing much.  I'm done until this clears up.  I was rolling, last night, and the pain was waking me.  Never fully, but enough that it ripped the notion of a good night of sleep to shreds.  I just get the sense that various of my organs are protesting.  Without the native painkillers, it would be sharp, stabbing, pains, from various organs, in a slow symphony of agony.

Today is off.  I'll keep things in mind, for the future.  But for now...  At least this isn't like the physical assault during the previous attempt at going on medication.  It did happen at this level of dosing, though.  It happened within days, not like the week it took this time.  And even with my pain handling physique the pain was much more pronounced, raw, crippling all by itself.  So, there is that.  I wish the doctors had a clue.  I don't go through these things without medicines.  Either I am a complete outlier, they are lying, or something else is wrong that they haven't bothered to a)diagnose b)know but won't treat c) know but won't admit about the medicine.  I can't trust much of what they say, depending on what observably works and ignoring the rest.

There isn't a truly comfortable position, in bed, in a chair, or standing.  Pain oozes out from the oddest places.  Little bolts of electrical torture spread even down to my groin, before being mitigated by... whatever does that.  Luckily, usually, before the pain peaks.  Yeah.  While it sucks to be Doom, given the givens I would rather be me than some poor sob who has to feel it all.  Hell, the skin on my shoulder blades has started to burn, I think from reflexively shrugging when I sense the pain so as to shirk it.

Some days you just got to bite the bullet.  Ah well.  I'll get better.  Eventually.  Something to consider though?  There is a reason I don't have a lot of sympathy for mere hurt feelings.  I really have no room for it.