I just kept sleeping.

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I woke many times today.  Everything hurt.  So I kept sleeping.  I slept, woke, hurt, so went back to sleep, perhaps a dozen times.  Sometimes, usually, I embrace pain.  I simply have to be strong enough for it.  Today was one of those rare days.  Fragility, delicacy, sensitivity, all... maybe more.  I couldn't even tell where all the pain was coming from, what source, where, how.  I wouldn't allow myself to wake enough to find it, and refused to focus on any of it.  I simply allowed sleep to pull me back under for as long as it would.  I don't think I needed the sleep.  I thought I would pay that price.  But upon waking, finally, around 17:00, my body wasn't grumpy at the sleep, and some large portion of the pain has gone.  I did need the easement that sleep allowed.

I brushed my teeth, stretched.  Boy did that hurt, in the short run.  Yelped, for a while.  But it seems to have sent the pain away, in the longer run.  A shower shortly.  Medicine as I think of it now.  I have stopped insulin for a day or two.  I was way too dosed on that stuff.  I will start over, Saturday or Sunday, on a much reduced dose.  That stuff was going to kill me.  Even on lower doses it was having traumatic effects.  I am sure that is what was causing the problem, beyond a doubt.  The burning has stopped since I quit, at least at that level.  It is much faded, though I suspect it will still come and go.  Danced on my own grave, I did.

Actually, I am feeling much better.  Not up to par, even as poor as par can be.  But certainly no longer doing a jig that sent me through the final frontier and back in a zigzag pattern.  Safely away from that door, I merely need to regain strength and mop up some aches and pains.  *zoom*  I have my half-smile, crooked grin, call it what you will, back in my pocket.  Sometimes the front, sometimes the back, pocket.  But when that is with me Death doesn't quite have the nerve to approach.  He thinks I know something he doesn't.  And... I do.  :)

Yeah.  A little time to wake, perhaps another stretch to concentrate and dismiss pain, a shower, and then... who knows.  Later.