Ah, right, the dream.

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I had to wake up before writing this out.  I remember the dream, as I might having seen a flash of lightning so closely that it burned into my eyes and mind.  As if I felt the heat and power of it.  But, being as powerful as that, I needed to sort some things.  I am still sorting, but...  As being in an area struck by an major earthquake.  One first has to find physical and emotional footing, and reassurances, before doing anything else.  Some suggest...  "just run to safety", or "get out", or such.  They don't understand not having footing, or a way to obtain it.  Sometimes there is simply no choice.

What I heard... received... was that death was not what was preferred.  I asked, and debated the death penalty.  That wasn't the issue, if there was something there.  Something uncomfortable to my beliefs, if not fully contrary.  I asked about war.  Again, not the topic.  It was personal.  A guidance.  I don't fully understand.  I know what I write here.  I choose, when able, to see it as... a thing of fable.  Stories, if with intent and meaning, and some deeper personal meaning, and truths.  I choose to obscure the latter two into the rest, blurring lines and edges, for a number of reasons.

This... dream.  It wasn't an order.  It was advice... it was... guidance... it was... a holy recommendation.  It was also horrifying and terrifying.  A bequest, by God?  Not a command?  Not a demand?  A mere, if heartfelt, request?

Look, don't look at me.  Call it a dream, and write it off.  I will, save... if I find where mercy may be spared, it will be.  Perhaps a bit more, if I can.  I just don't see where such things would be in my hands.  And I do know there will yet be some, perhaps much, death.  A little less... might be possible, if the algorithm is... tweaked.  Never mind.  That, my friends, is a dream that still has me quivering in my boots as jello dropped from on high.  So be it.  Loving advice, a humble request, a blessed suggestion...  I will take and own it, as I may.  But I have to let it be as just a dream, too.  I'm not that strong.  I don't believe... in myself, even with what I have seen.  It must be another.  Never mind... again.