It's not about control.

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It's simply health.  Health is something I cannot control.  It comes and goes.  I know that, but it doesn't mean I submit to it.  Which is why, on some days, I have just a wee more bite.

It looks as if health is on the rebound.  I won't say numbness or that the frozen shell with a harsh fever underneath are gone, but they have faded to moments rather than being a majority of my waking, even sleeping time.  When I would drift near consciousness at night, I could often tell one, the other, or both, were still in play.  Getting to sleep and waking were both troubled by the weight of those things.  Yesterday was the first day without those, but with remnants of the exhaustion they caused.  Something I was able to work through, to a degree.

I certainly didn't get everything done.  But I did enough that I am happy with yesterday.  I will finish up a few things today, perhaps start a few more projects.  I attempted to be to bed as much before midnight as I could.  I made it to bed by 23:00 or so, setting the alarm for 8:00.  I woke very early, but stayed down.  I need the rest.  At 4:00 or 5:00 I woke.  I simply did not get out of bed until the alarm sounded.  Between the bit of effort yesterday, and a rough sleep, I am a bit sore this morning.  Not a problem, so long as symptoms are gone and health is flowing back in.  Pain, even typical illness, won't always keep me down.  It's that deep stuff, heart and organ function, and such... when those go downhill, I can't function.

Finishing the laundry, starting a new load of dishes, hitting under the sink and the kitchen, and a few other things are what are filling the agenda for the day.  Oh, and another shower.  I don't need one, I just want one.  Clean.  Moistened.  I'll hit the feet, especially the heels, with the pumice stone today as well.  Moisturizing those a bit after the stone is something I should do more often.  I just hate spreading goo on my body, getting it on my hands.  Life isn't always about "like".  Actually, life is learning to enjoy in spite of dislike, I believe, often enough anyway.

A bit of waking.  A bit of reading.  A cup of water, then coffee, and maybe a bit to eat, as I go on to wake.  Old rice, a little half and half of my own mix, and coffee...  No protein, I think.  Hmm...  Bacon!  Maybe toast?  Sure.  That cracked wheat toast doesn't leave a lump in my gut.  I have actually been thinking of looking for some of the old wheat types, for storage.  Though maybe that isn't necessary when grinding at home?  I've been meaning to look into it.  Desert Cat suggests that modern wheat seems to be just fine when home-ground.  I need to explore that, before long.  I trust, I just... like to verify.  And no two two-legs is quite exactly alike.  Though he does seem more sensitive to foods.  No complaint or trivialization, mind you.  Different ages, races, and types... well...  It is what it is.  Still, only one way to know, for sure.

On to waking.  Good day.  Oh, and... get to it.  If I can crawl out of my grave, you can certainly get out of bed.  Ha!  Later.