Have I ever mentioned...

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I'm telling you, I have an unerring ability to piss everybody around me right the hell off.  I might miss some things, but not this thing.  It's my area.  I have mastered rage well enough to create oblations from it without being burned, mostly, by it.  I am a store of it.  And yet, for the greater part, I do not imbibe of it anymore.  I learned a very long time ago that it was poison.  Good neither for love, war, or life.  And yet, it seems to collect to me.  Part of why I wonder about being War.  A receptacle of all the war and rage and such that lives in man, to be poured back to certain of them in there time.  Yes, I know when I touch off a storm, if not always why.

In this case, I know why.  Actually, a couple of reasons.  One more private, for what that goes for privacy these days (hint: don't like it, don't read my email), one that was public then returned to being private if never quickly enough  (the internet moves at the speed of light and is (temporarily) eternal), and the other was more open, all recent.

First, understand, while I know what an alpha is, and how they operate.  Feeling sorry for women who failed to grab one is akin to feeling sympathy for a lesser devil.  Further, while I think some of the pattern is there, in my life, it is something I have struggled against, at least in recent times.  I would even say, to within my capacity, I have won.  Surrendering the usury side of it, but not surrender my masculinity to do so.  Concerns about what happens should things change is just that.  I don't know, nor do you.  Further, I understand how I might be seen as a threat, to some.  Or even potentially as a catch.  Whether any of that is true, is another story.  I only see possibilities.  If you know a seer, speak with them.  They will help you understand that the hardest thing to see is their own future.  Sometimes they see too much, various and horribly random and contrary possibilities, or they see nothing at all.  What I see... is either of another being, or myself in some time.  I can't say when, though to some degree I know what.  Most of what I can see is for a different place as life goes.  I cannot see tomorrow, or several years from now... or at least I hope what I see is not that soon.  Not for myself.

And, yes, I can see the problems that others are having.  Many men, and most women, do not want to understand how some things work.  Women hate alpha types, in spite of their weakness to them.  Or because of it.  Men surrender to the rage of their women, not wanting to... have to linger with the headaches, even knowing what they know, if they have a right male understanding that is.  Love and such is taken as holy, while we all know that it only can be such.  Dames can be ladies, but they aren't most of the time.  Men can be gents, but also are not most of the time.  Most of the time love, men, and women are simply mundane.  There are always winners and losers, in love, even when it seems to work out.  We all know who loses, especially in modern group-think.  It has always been, and always will be, that way.  Men, today, realize that through the upending of tradition and all things normal, natural, and right, through laws and the social disaster we live in, that marriage is not possible.  They are abandoning it.  I was just ahead of my time.

Now, however, I am in a situation where I can't lose.  What the laws have removed for most men, they have bolstered for me.  It would not be preferable to have a wife leave, but she would not have the same incentives to do so as most women.  If she did it wrongly, she would be left to her own devices, with nothing gained.  Women don't like break-even, actually worse, deals.  Besides, as I mentioned, I have chosen a different path, and been lead through that somehow to a place where marriage is possible.  But I don't have to put up with threats or theft.  And I won't.

While I won't defend my nature, I am not ashamed of it.  In a predatory world, one learns to hunt, hide when necessary, loses everything, or die.  Hungers of all sorts exist, regardless of the safety of feeding, and they must be tended.  And, so, in a dangerous world, I did what I did with women who knew better but chose worse as well.  And, yes, I think some of that is very funny.  Only when God called did I begin to reconsider.  Like it?  Look to your own affairs.  If you know God and yet sin, do not even consider casting that first stone at a man who describes his life and behavior before he knew God.

I'm thinking too many people were weened on a dill pickle.  Doesn't bother me a bit.  Just saying, I do notice.  I do see into the dark.  Now, scoot.