Ah, right. The sweet, cherished memories of

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being trammeled into the dirt by the nature of my reality.  When I try to force myself to be awake at an exact time, when that time is contrary to my internal clock, there is a very good chance I will end up feeling like I do.  I will feel like this for a week, or more.  Hell, I could feel my oncoming migraine in my sleep,  It isn't every time.  It's mostly when I don't, or really can't, bolster the schedule somehow.  In this case, I wasn't able to work.  Then again, for the most part, I had given up on changing my schedule... until this appointment.  I did NOT want to miss it.  I saw that my sleep cycle, left unchecked, would cause me to miss by the middle of last week.  So... I ripped and tore to keep my day from advancing into evening, and even battered it back enough that I thought I might be able to swing it.  Then I couldn't sleep, all last night, and then I couldn't wake up.  I ended up going down at 8:00, hoping I could just a squeeze a nap in... didn't have a choice.  Nope.  I'm up at 15:15, give or take fifteen.  Still too little sleep, feel like road kill, hurt, and feeling ugly... uglier than I look even.  Even my ribs?  Eh tu, Brute?  My ribs are getting more involved with things... could it be the grip work?  Cool!  Get those lazy fu*8ing muscles working!  Even if it feels like the inside of them.  Hey, no one gets a leisure cruise on this ship, not while I'm in command.

I need to find anacin, get a heaping helping of something, at least until I can make it so my brain doesn't feel like it is freespinning away from the shuttle on a twisted cord.  Orienteering is first done of flesh, mind you, then either expands from there or doesn't.  I've been lost in here so many times.  The thing is, inside, you can't make it connect.  The body simply has to work, and it isn't, because I abused it trying to hit a time target.  It'll just have to heel.  No more or less than you can pound a case or fifth and expect the world to simply stop spinning.  Doesn't work that way.  I've only tossed chunks a few times in the last few decades, that wouldn't help here, but it might have helped for the other proposed cause of this loss of balance.  *>>focus<<*  Then again, be bobbing at sea, aiming at a bobbing target.  Oh, you can do it.  Might lose lunch in the process, I might if I could... not sure it helps, though, as I suggested.  No lunch in there... would be bad.  *>>focus<<*

Okay, whatever else, here is the plan.  I will do whatever I can.  There have been tasks that haven't been being done.  I need to attempt to wake first, and gain balance.  I might have to eat in a bit, supper is coming so that should be easy, and I have lighter stuff just in case.  When I can, eat, while trying to wake up, then hit tasks.  Little or big, whatever I can do.  Then, sleep as my body suggests.  No more whipping it one way or the other.  Just let it happen.  I think the weather is misshaping my sleep, extending... I think... my waking cycle, but that just has to be handled through time.  At this time, I cannot fuss with that.  Or I end up here, and get nothing done through it.  I'm a one trick pony, right now, and not good at it even then.

Okay, now... I knew this.  I just thought I had become strong enough to push through it, make it.  I did neither, and got swatted like a fly.  So, back to being the humble servant.  I saw this coming, still thought I might make it.  Not.  I planned on recouping after I finished, in success I had hoped.  Not.  Crap sandwich...  All good, learn, test, and live... or die.  *grins*  I got absolutely clobbered.  *grins*  Worth a shot, I guess.  Maybe next time.  They would have been happy with my teeth, too.  Brushing twice, sometimes three times, flossing at night, mouth rinse twice a day.  Still stained, but in good working order, as with my gums.  Oh well.  I'll be ready to quit tobacco.  As ready as I can be.  On my last roll of tobacco coins... usually lasts a month, but I've been hitting it harder since all lights are green for quitting.  Yeah... later.