Experiment.

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When I push, I do so with some moderation.  But when I don't have to push, sometimes I end up going longer or harder.  In this case, I had only, really, intended on exploring being awake until... say, 9:00, maybe 10:00.  For the last week, staying up until 8:00 has been a problem, at least one morning I was forced to retreat back to sleep by 5:00 or so.  This morning, I found myself awake at 9:00, seemingly with no symptoms.  As well, I was doing good, so... I just started reading, and goofing, and doing this or that.  I watched the hours tick by, 11:00, then noon, and almost 13:00 before I wrapped it up.  Even then I fiddled and stretched getting to bed.  I have to guess it was well after 13:00 before I was asleep.  No headache the whole time, no painkillers, no stress, no vertigo.  Cool.

I woke somewhere around 19:00, so a rather short sleep.  I might need a nap tonight.  Or not.  Who knows.  I do believe I have been oversleeping.  Not by sleeping more than my schedule, I've been mostly keeping that to about eight to nine hours.  But because I have been awake for shorter periods of time.  Not willfully, I haven't had much choice.  My body, it seems, needed a break.  It took one.  I'm working my way out, slowly.  Then again, it is still hardening and tightening from the months before.  I knew exercising and pushing back to life and health would be a... shift sort of thing, on and off.  I didn't realize a month down and I would still be gaining from the work I had done.  Muscles are still healing into growth.  But that is taking me down.  It seems I can't do those things as fast as a healthy body.  I am just hoping I am getting back to the point where I can start ripping and tearing again.  The goal is to have another good long session of ripping, so as to take a couple weeks off before going on my trip this fall, healing into the trip.  I really want to look good when I get there.  But I also want to be fit enough to enjoy the company.  I've never met my nieces.

I'll keep trying to kick the machine from heal to work.  Food will help.  So will intent.  But the body is either able or it isn't.  You can jumpstart an engine that fails, you can prime, even light it up if you have an old carburetor.  But with human flesh, there are limits.  It really either works or not in the condition it is in.  No complaints, to a degree.  It is becoming much more reliable.  If I can get three months up, and a month or two down but still mostly active, I can live with that.  It will get me where I am going.  Further, the margins are tightening, the rest period has been and will continue to shorten.  And I am working up, just not out.  Becoming stronger while increasing stamina, and expanding my roles in life, all at once, has a toll.

I woke with a migraine.  This time, rather than jumping straight out of bed I nursed sleep, wove healing by will, slowed my tempo after regaining consciousnesses, and tinkered with controls to ease... like slowing a run after starting up a chainsaw.  Surprised I never considered this before.  Though as I have said, pain or not, when I wake, I usually hit the world running.  Pretty close to literally.  Habit... or... something.  Then I go sit, but that first round is ready for hell and blood.  These methods, of slowing, relaxing, conscious healing, and such, really worked.  Within five to ten minutes the headache was gone, if not all of the side effects.  But those were below the blanket of conscious sensation.  Just underneath, bubbling near the surface from time to time, but... not as much of a problem.  I have to remember that.  Might not always work though, either.  Still... good to know their are choices, and be able to make them.

Today?  Same goal as yesterday.  Ugh.  What day?  Saturday... I am pretty sure.  Good, good.  I would like to do a few things, but nothing heavy.  Same with tomorrow.  Going easy, but with an aim for a heavy restart Monday.  Dishes, sweeping, laundry, a few cat messes, food, reading... nothing fancy, just some basics to get me off my butt and sort the cave back to it's recent top topping off.  Yeah, I think I can.  Put me back in coach!  Later.

Why I couldn't eat sashimi at an official bar?  I'd get so frustrated I'd grab the chef and dig in.  Teasing with food like that.  It wouldn't be personal, just hunger taking over.  Same with many "high-end" restaurants though too.  Don't tease ogres, or wookies, same thing sort of.  Oh, and if foodies wonder why they are castigated?  Here.  Look, food is good.  But... pretenses are irritating, and ignorance is not bliss.  Just saying.  Reminds me of Zero's pajama boy.  Irritating.  Eat it, enjoy it, but... really?  Gah!  I absolutely love food.  Even my mash and some bacon, especially when hungry.  I love steak, and beans and ham, even hot dogs once in a while.  But... you know...  Yeah, you know.