Mumbling through naps.

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For me, a nap is, usually, right at two hours.  I take that sleep because of need, sometimes want.  I can only take them, no matter my condition, when they will happen.  Often I feel the need or want but cannot fall asleep.  Usually I know this beforehand.  A nap usually puts me in a better situation.  Yesterday, and probably today, my nap, upon waking, didn't seem to have helped.  A bit of thinking, and more time awake after the nap yesterday, and I believe I am in better shape, it's just that compared to my usual, it just doesn't seem like it.  Less so when I first wake.

The pains from yesterday do continue.  They are simply much milder, or my natural pain relief had kicked in, or finally reached, these pains.  Deep, I suggested.  Not too intense, even yesterday.  Even if I seem to live very well next to the graveyard, don't think there isn't a price.  It's difficult to imagine that I have two, but more like four, decades left of this.  And yet I am all but certain.  The longer I live the more certain it becomes.  Hey, but my blog will be an epic lament!  At 2045 they will be keeping the blog world alive, just for me.  No one will visit, just automated responses, meant to sell toothpaste or some new "legal" drug, or pictures of naked old women, or robots?  Still, they'll keep it alive just as a hobby for kids of the future.  If it doesn't all go down the tubes.  Then again, even so, the future may simply be more virtual than it is today!  We have all become the Sims.

Blathering?  You betcha.  Not even sure what I am on about.  Actually, it isn't all bad, at all.  A little low for a few months, but still doing better than I have for several decades.  I'm just grumpy that I am not going at a real pace, and that it hurts either ways.  But that I know, am tracking time, am dealing with the real world in several ways, and so on, means I am still doing better than I have in decades.  Well, that certainly IS a lament, more so for those of you who, even if you have it hard, actually are able to work.  You really don't know.  I would be working if I could be, or back to college, or... anything.  I can be a decent groundsman.  What I can't do, I could get done, if I had a women doing the same with most of the house and food.  But I can't hold a regular sort of job.  I loved going to school, but it took extra medication, stuff they know say should have killed me.  Bleh.

Blather.  Grumpy.  Sore.  But not completely unhappy.  I'll keep at it.  *wink*