To bed late, up early.

.
.
No clue as to why.  Don't care.  I feel good enough, better than yesterday, and currently not on that bastard of an edge.  Have you ever driven on what may or may not be ice?  Yes?  That was yesterday.  Surrounded by cliffs, the only way off the road was down.  If I could have slept more I would have.  White knuckle living is what that was.  Not today, or yet.

Dreams.  Nothing fancy, not much came into the waking time.  Something about being a mag-tech...  being able to work on electrical and mechanical devices, and magic systems.  That wasn't well defined, that latter part.  I don't remember working on anything of a magical nature.  Mostly just engine, motors, and such.  A bunch of little problems needed to be solved.  Timing chain, a couple of black-box systems to figure out which part was off, things like that.  Ah, but there was a little bit of magic used in my work.  I had magic gloves that... well... didn't even look like I was wearing anything, they kept my hands from getting too hot or cold, and completely protected the digits from the pounding mechanics usually just live with and getting oily/greasy.  It was just the hands though, so if you removed an oil or other fluid drain plug at the wrong time you simply got to wear it.  No, not in this dream.  Done that in other dreams, usually transmission fluid, though at least once I dumped the radiator fluid on me.  Funny thing?  I have never even changed any of those things in real life.  :p  Actually, I don't exactly know how.

Today?  I don't know.  I am hoping to do a bit of cooking and cleaning.  I won't say much more than that.  It is cloudy and quite cool outside.  I hope it stays like this, mostly, in the coming week.  With the tools and toys I have, I would like to begin target shooting.  The only thing I really want is a rebar puller.  I am sure they carry it in town, but figuring out who does would be like pulling teeth.  Most people don't even know what such a thing is (fair enough), let alone which type is best for what task (also fair enough), and I myself am ignorant.  So... a hunting I may go.  A bit of research and online window shopping.  If I can figure out exactly what I want, I might be able to ask about local availability with a call.  The world is so beg and knowledge is dying on the vine.  It seems to me that we are beginning to living in the horror of tech melted minds on top of the reality of our nature coming back to bite right through what we thought were the defenses of modernity.  We are animals, or at least animals too.  Trying to hide or forget that is becoming our own Dr. Frankenstein, who goes on to "create" the Frankenstein monster.  Yeah, true.  My thing is I've spent decades figuring that out, realizing who did what, why, and when.  Realizing who my true monster was.  I'm happy being Frankenstein, the monster, if folk would leave it, and me if necessary, alone.  Being the Doctor is the horror.  *wink*

Gaming, though, first.  To wake up, to start out slowly, to not take unnecessary risks.  I won't hit what I avoided by quitting and going to bed.  That will be too hard up front.  Happily, the game allows me to go back and redo things I've missed, or little extras generated through gameplay, not open on the first playthrough.  While this game, at least to me, or in my condition, has increased in difficulty, this is what I need.  That struggle keeps me going, a bit.  If it doesn't hurt, if I don't have to push, it just isn't for me.  Healthy or ill, it's always been that way.  Many of my people don't understand.  I didn't understand.  I think it's true of most people, I just take it a bit further.  People end up getting stung for it, more than they thought.  And not from behind their back.  Odd, I think that is how most people work, so something up front and honest really gets to them, even when it isn't necessarily meant as such.

Oh, I have heard the notion of robot sex.  I had to laugh.  At least for me, I could no more imagine that than I could imagine mainlining cocaine or heroine.  While I cannot learn to be perfectly chaste, and am horrible at the effort, that isn't the point.  If I can't, or won't, have a woman, I will certainly not have a robot.  I suspect robot "sex" is just for those type of men who never could and never will really be able to get women.  Women are... really... easy.  That's not a bad thing, or good thing.  It's just the truth.  I think a lot of men fear them?  Or don't think...  I don't know.  Women love to serve and take a little bit from you for themselves in serving.  The few women who are actually feminist aren't on even these small men's radar (modern feminism is just a type of socialism which is run by men for themselves, using women who can't get men).  I have been avoiding a woman, myself, but for... actually the reasons have been satisfactorily resigned, so...  I mean, I do believe I will live long enough... from what I have seen...  So I could, now, go after a wife.  And from what I have seen, there may be a way.  At this point, I simply have to wait until...  I am not sure she is interested or capable.  Time will tell that.  Delusional?  Maybe.  As I have said about that, the difference between two men is not which ones can dream up the impossible, but which one can then make that real.  *grins*  As to robots, I think that will be for the male form of feminists, for those who can't and won't get one but for whatever reason aren't quite gay.  I don't even want to know, just from my vantage, that is what I suspect.  I just can't understand not wanting a woman, and barring that nothing.  Like dames, I do.  The whole crazy package, just as it is.

Oh, I did learn something I would rather not to have learned... in a way.  In a word?  Smegma.  As worldly as I have been, and though I knew there was something there, I never knew the word.  It is a word that worries me.  There are certain women, and thus I assume men, who are... decidedly nosesome.  I am not sure we can smell ourselves and yet I am quite sure others can smell us.  That smell, as they used to say... some are powerful with it.  Men are, pretty much, nose-blind.  I am gifted in that I can sense this with women (though not at all with men, thankfully).  Though I am not sure it is a great gift with the intention of being celibate.  It's like trying to quit drinking but being able to smell alcohol for seeming miles, through walls, and such.  Anyway...  Now I know and there is no un-knowing possible.  Bleh.

Later!