Dark days and nights.

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Overcast and cold, perhaps colder than usual?  It seems like it.  Though every winter seems like it, especially in the final stretch.  I was late getting down, due to the leg of lamb roast... which turned out fantastic.  I think I've gotten a bit used to lamb chops.  And, as with someone I cooked leg of lamb for, who wasn't fond of it, I as she ended up liking it very well.  Sometimes, if you cook something just right, even if it isn't a favorite, it can take on a whole different... appeal?  I just had a sample.  I was quite pleased.  Not much on the yearling lamb, which isn't a complaint mind you, just a note.  It's how you can tell you aren't eating mutton.  Well, and the sweeter taste, or non-bitter taste.  Mutton is... much more of an acquired taste.

So why lamb?  Because I definitely like chops and ground lamb.  As well, the only reason leg of lamb isn't a favorite is that it is such a rare item.  If it is big enough for a family, it is more likely mutton, and, as I mentioned, that is a rather severe acquired flavor.  These true yearling leg of lamb would only serve, perhaps, three or four people, if two of the people are young.  Anyway, as I mentioned, this turned out to be a jewel of a meal.  I boned the meat, put about half of it up, had a slice, but then gnawed on the knuckle... it's the only way and I would have hated to waste that meat.  I didn't go down until 2:00, or 1:30, or... something.  I wish I could get my computer to work with the atomic clock.  Or the same one my other one works with.

I have been bumping into dark dreams... understandings... in my dreams.  I have some notion that people are praying for my suicide?  Really?  Really.  A few things about that.  If you are praying for someone else to sin, you are not praying to the God of Abraham.  God does not induce, produce, or support sin.  There is only one who does, and that is not God.  That is a special kind of evil.  Praying for a painless death is pushing the boundaries.  Praying for death at all is rather dangerous ground.  What is it you are supposed to do with enemies?  You love them.  If they are truly dangerous, killing them can be righteous.  Praying for a suicide, or death, is not among the wise choices.  If I am that much of a threat, man up and take the hit through an honest murder.  If you are right, regardless of man's law, you will be cleansed of a righteous killing.  I'll bet that won't work out for you, but... praying for a suicide is so much more seriously dangerous to your soul.

I am not sure I am awake for the day.  I didn't hear it, until I woke, but my mother had called three times before catching me on the fourth.  The phone didn't wake me, but something did.  Having gone down so late, and it being so dark yet...  I may end up taking a nap in a bit, then getting out and going a bit later, as I did the other day.  I'll... do my best.  Good day.