Up. Better again.

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It doesn't take much of a grind to dull my blade, expend all energy, invoke a cloak of fog.  If given some time off for good behavior allows for a quicker recharge.  Though realizing a few things, tending those, helps.  I could not find a comfortable position with regard to pillows.  I finally remembered that when that happens, it's not the pillows but the neck.  Aspirin is the only thing that might fix it.  It did, if taken nearly at waking.  Still, I was able to rest comfortably for the last half hour, so as to reset bones and muscles away from the malformations pain had begun to form them.

Awake at 19:30 or so.

I have found that a set of Hail Mary's is quite efficacious for some things.  Of course a flustered temptation won't always simply wander off, whimpering back to it's dark source without a fight.  Maybe initially, not after being denied too long.  That darkness then seeks to defile the source of resistance.  Keep pushing through, then invoke others.  Some I have known, some I am beginning to investigate more fully... the saints, and a source I am struggling to grasp almost as much as with Mary in the beginning... my guardian angel.  The latter, it seems, is not to be named, just accepted?  As a prayer multiplier, conduit, and with certain talents to enhance holy discernment or direction?  I don't have that down fully, but did use as an ace up my sleeve in the push-back event to good use.  Worked surprisingly well.  Go get em'!  And he did.

Now, to see about today.  I am chalking nothing, save the post office, in.  Though, with the need of a shower, dishes are in the way.  Anything else will... happen or not, as I may.  Just because pain has been hidden doesn't mean the causes aren't still there.  The pain is actually still there.  Live with pain long enough and you learn some bitter truths.  Where you go from there will lead you humbly home or into the hells, starting with denial of that reality then on to denying anything else required to maintain that initial denial.  That rabbit hole is deep.  Don't... deny pain or that reality.  It will eat you.  Know it, treat it reasonably, but don't then double efforts over the pain sensation modifier.  Amen.