Today is as yesterday.

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Better.  But just.  Not good definitely not great.  Aspirin first thing, and waterpills, three.  My usual number.  And to set up medication, the rest of it.  I will continue with pickle juice and tea, trying to find equilibrium.  Mouth is so dry, but my legs, from just above the ankles to nearly the knees are swollen so bad they hurt.  I may have to find my really long compression socks.

I thought I had caught the waterpills in time, seems not.  That may be why my lungs burn.  The thing I don't get, is if my heart is better, why is blood still backing into my lungs?  Why do I still need heart medicine?  I don't think they actually know what they are talking about.  They sure don't explain it well.

Sam was up several times.  Sure, she wakes me, but I don't mind.  I think the closet sleeping is why Sassy doesn't go up.  But, now that I am sleeping at about dark, I am going to sleep out in the room.  I sure wish I had a heavy-duty chair to help get up, wherever I sleep.  I might have to look for one.  Not a lazy-boy type, that would be murder to get upstairs.

Perhaps even just a very heavy, squat, endtable?  It isn't pure weakness, it is that plus waking weakness.  Muscles and all just are coordinated first thing.  I can pop off a standard bed, but all that is needed for that is leg strength.  I figure, in time, I will gain more arm strength, and a sort of muscle memory.  But, for now, a minor booster would be good.

The V.A. has arranged an appointment before the paperwork is due.  It is just primary, but it is a start.  I need to clear my head so as to catalog the symptoms, actually sets of symptoms.  The flu-like thing is it's own thing, probably carrying something, or something I was exposed to but never fully beat.  Then what I suspect are symptoms from occasional organ brown-outs.  They don't quit, completely, they just slow way down.  Then the exhaustion and confusion.  I am sure there might be connections, but not always.  Yes, lists.  And questions.  If my heart is better, why am I not?

Blood sugar is better, at 117 fasting.  The last blood sugar was 101 up from 76 without food, so I used 23 cc's of slow acting insulin.  I do my best at derivating needed insulin and do... okay.  The goal is still 100 fasting.  I have room to improve.  Still, it's been over a week with 155 as the highest reading, generally by a significant spread.

Well, on to waking.  Good morning and day, perhaps good night for some of you night owls out there.


I don't mind if it is uncomfortable, even terribly.  So long as... I don't have to return.  Too bad I have such a long wait.  I'll bet he would agree, only the good die young.