Oh, but about the day...

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Well, up and at it.  Up at 08:30.  I can't be sure when I went to bed, but I thought it was 20:30, so twelve hours down?  Maybe.  I needed rest.  And, that dream, while sort of a single dream?  It was all night.  I would wake, consider what had happened, thing it was over, like episodes in a show.  All night, save perhaps the last three or four hours.  Two hours?  Something.

Then I had to try to get that written up.  Wasn't sure I should share it, but... why not.  I don't need believe, nor care.  And, I know, killing me won't change anything.  Kill... murder...  there is a difference, but the state and church may kill at their discretion.  It's always been the way.  Not that they won't be held accountable, right or wrong.

It's a quarter after ten.  The girls have been fed.  I am thirsty, but not.  I got my morning numbers, untouched by medicine.  BP is 120/92 with a pulse of 99.  Oxygen reader is at SpO2 92.  And blood sugar is 348 fasting.  Sounds terrible, but it's two hundred down from two days ago and a hundred down from yesterday.  There are limits to how fast it can drop.  Though, even insulin isn't having a large effect, or quickly.  Still, I must begin being very cautious.  It may well drop two to three hundred points in a single smaller or larger dose.  So, I am going to try to go the long road, and cut doses to 25 slow acting in the evening, and 20 to 30 cc's per meal, unless I hit 180.  Then... begin tapering to 8 to 16 cc's, to a degree depending on what I am eating.

I am slightly fearful of taking heart medicine as usual.  But I have cut how much I take, and when I take it, so may go ahead.  I am comfortable, if still a bit nervous, with the insulin plan.  I have to, right now, stay up on medicines, and measurements, in attempt to get through to something normalized and safe.  I may have to work through the death zone, again... or more deeply as I think I am still in it... feel like it.  I have to pay attention every step of the way to a moralization, and then on a bit, to try to get everything, altogether, regulated.  Then... try to manage my diet.  Crazy, to a degree, like juggling eggs while unicycling over a rope, fifty foot up.  Any little thing might not get me, but that fall... it... really could.  Surprised it hasn't.

Still, back to a level of balance, and an ability to cope with some small issues, and able to concentrate to the degree necessary.  My simple job, now, is to get the hell off the rope!  I need level ground, and some rest, and am aiming for it.  Just a few more days, or a week... then to just keep up!  Ffs!  Bleh.

Other than meds shortly, then some food and insulin, another shower, chores, cat litter, starting a few small loads of dishes, then into some laundry.  As well, maybe a few calls... business... payments.  If I can get that, then into boxes.  Yes indeed.  Could I, would I, should I?  The latter two are assured, the former is the only question yet to be answered.

Feeling better.  Actually feeling mostly rested.  Not much pain.  Yet to find out if energy burning is still extremely limited.  Eating dinner, last night, hurt.  My jaw hurt because those muscles were not getting something they needed, and were turning into concrete.  Ever chewed with concreted jaw muscles?  Not pleasant.  Later.