No longer asleep?

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Actually, doing well this morning.  Not that I will be able, yet, to do much.  BUT.  Better it is.  No great pains, my feet don't hurt from being waterlogged, everything... feels better.  Some of it was the stress of the lien... that wasn't.  Some of it was the stress of the renegotiated mortgage that was impossibly expensive.  They are still calling.  I suppose I should call them and let them know to get stuffed, officially.  Oh, fine, I'll do it a bit more diplomatically.  But, yea, no.

I have decided to forgo the rest of the regularly scheduled purchases this month, and buy a countertop reverse osmosis machine.  The under-the-sink one always drips.  Even when I fix it, over time... and I mean a short time... it ends up putting water down there again.  I can't keep up on that.  So, I'll... fix it with this new system.  As well, I don't have to worry about it running overnight.  And, can have several batches of water, ready, at a time.  Maybe three, one or two out, and similar in the fridge.  With breakfast and coffees, at least currently, I go through about one batch a day.  As summer hits, I'll probably be changing over to a tea and a coffee, though maybe more tea?  I will be drinking more in the heat.

Oddly, when it is very hot and very cold is when I drink the most, though maybe that makes sense.  I suppose both extremes tax the body more than more regulated, moderate, times.  I'm not really hungry, but I'll have breakfast anyway.  I think all else I ate yesterday was bratwursts and sauerkraut.  Just... wasn't hungry.  Oh, and a can of kipper snacks.  Those are actually not sardines, a slightly larger fish.  Just as good, in my book.

I am hoping to get a shower, cook some foods, do a few batches of dishes, maybe a load of laundry?  Yes, I can definitely get that going.  Then go work on the beams of the clothes line poles... get the old stuff off, the foam, and perhaps sand them a bit?  If so, I'll put linseed oil on them, when they are installed.  Or something like that... to help preserve them.

Oh, a dream.  Groups, in various churches, are nearly superhuman.  Humble, it seems.  And, they know they can't win some wars.  How things work, I can't always say.  I... actually, to a degree, believe the dream.  I have seen things.  But the mind likes to... let the... unusual slide out of mind, rather than note it and codify it into rational, or... conscious? thought.

Work was done, in the dream, that isn't possible.  Not just men, there were women who were terribly strong.  I am not sure, literally, about the women, though I suspect so.  But the men, I have seen them do.  And, I know one.  If not in that way, for a group, I once was such a man.  But, a bad heart really does change everything.  Even so, for having a bad heart, and being my age?  Against a normal?  I still don't think it is a contest.  Just my hand strength, at 250 pounds per square inch, and up to 350 if then my hands can hurt themselves when I use them full stop...  But, in my dream, I saw that groups, in various churches, are like... army, or builder, ants.  Only used in emergencies, and only in some places.

Then again, it may just be that God works with, through, some people?  In certain ways?  What amazes me is that people can see these things, and still choose not to believe.  I could, to a degree, disbelieve... because I too could do such, at once.  As a non-comformist, non-believer... of sorts.  But I was different.  Unnatural.  Probably not fully human.  These... are human.  I can tell.  Something about their nature.

What makes a human actually human?  Lineage, is part of it.  But, too, some... thing.  A soul.  It isn't something to be tested for, but it can be... understood to be had, by some, and not by others.  But, don't think having a soul makes one capable of sinlessness either, though.  Actually, the non-humans are evil immaculate... outside of God's grace, without having to sin.  Born that way.  I was among them, but called from that.  A terrifying ordeal.  Fought hard.  But, I was looking for a way in, just... didn't realize what... that meant.  As mentioned, I thought I could own the holy, wise, true, beautiful.  I didn't realize I would have to... subject myself to it.  To bow to it.  To pray to it.  Oh, I got it, but... it got me.

Hmm... well... that is the story of one older giantling, for I am the smaller of my kind.  And I tell you, it is as true as I can understand to tell you.  Amen.

Anyway... on to... something.  Waking, and breakfast, first.  Sassy was already fed, then her litter cleared.  I tried to call my brother yesterday.  Will try again today.  Having the devil of a time getting ahold of him, and he doesn't seem to want to call back.  I think he is worried I will ask for something.  At this point, I won't.  He... is and does as he must, and is up against it.  Plus, I... generally piss him off.  Not intentionally.  Then again, I think, currently, everybody from wifey to kids to parents, to... friends... piss him off.  Life is hard for him, and bothers bother.

Later.  Have a good day.  Get to it if you can, or just enjoy the... slide.  For some of us, the slide... is shorter, now.  Though, for everyone, no matter, the slide is one day shorter than it was yesterday at this time.  Amen.