Up!

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I realized it may have been... a while? since I did chores?  Not certain, but not yesterday.  The day before I hope.  But... longer?  Terrified, I got into a tear, filled some waterers as needed, took what else had already been prepared, and got out there.  All good.  I... feared.  Can't do that, but so tired.

I have set the timer, won't feed Sassy first thing.  Or she begs constantly.  She has always been that way, I guess.  But... I... have been sleep walking through life, and forgot, and just followed inputs without thought.  Zombie!  But, no, today, and as long as memory and will remain, I will keep her on a bit of a leash.  I am keeping her to two cans of food a day, and what kibbles she will eat.  She... doesn't like kibbles, which is a good thing, or she'd be twenty, not thirteen, pounds.  And, she is a tiny thing, other than her heft.  Have to bury her in a hefty duty box.  :p

I tried to open into my bank account, both online, and through the phone.  As it seems there is a way to do it on the phone, too.  However, I can't remember the password, they don't have anyone working on Saturdays (expected, just checked... just in case), and the phone system says I don't have authority.  So... I will figure this out.  I would much rather do this over the phone.  I was able to find my balance, if... I doubt that balance.  Still, it's... a quick and dirty for that.  I... like having access to my account.  Sometimes, when I can't get out, I'll sit and sweat for days, weeks, worrying about how much I have.  Just... sitting... worrying.  Ugh.

Oh, I did pull the trigger on the countertop reverse osmosis system.  No more overflows, by forgetting while filling a jug.  Plus, I will probably, as mentioned, get three or even four tanks going.  Half gallon jugs, some refrigerated, one or two not.  And, I will begin using this for even my cooking water, maybe for Sassy too.  With softened water, the filters last a LOT longer, like three to four times the length.  I have only ever changed them out of an abundance of caution.  I would guess I can get four years out of the... actually... I have gotten four years out of six month filters... without a degradation of taste or sediment levels (which I check, independently, from time to time).  A water softener may well pay for itself, if you go with reverse osmosis.

By the way, I no longer need a virtual swimming pool to get Sassy the water she needs.  I may try to figure something better out for her.  She simply doesn't drink anywhere near what Sam was drinking.  Sam could drink half of the dish pan, you know those plastic wash pans?  She could do have that in two days.  Poor dear was a thirsty devil.  That had to be nearly her weight in water?  Maybe more, definitely more near the end.  The pan holds about three gallons, I think, and half would be one and an half gallons, and a gallon weighs slightly more than eight pounds, so... twelve pounds of water, in two days?  Now you can see why the litter pans were hell.  I... couldn't keep up.

And, while I miss her, and feel guilty about this next?  I was so overwhelmed by her needs and wants.  I couldn't keep up.  She was hungry, all the time, and thirsty, when she wasn't pooping or throwing up.  I feel terrible for her, felt terrible for her, but too, was... backed into a corner, couldn't figure out what to do.  I do understand how things were for her.  I have been there.  When waking after a few months down, I would feel the want to eat the world.  And, thus, would... mess my bathroom something terrible.  Not quite this bad, but she was half out of her mind with both hunger, and probably pain.  The guilt, though, of wanting them to go... is something terrible.  That isn't why I put her down.  I did it for her.  To hold her, while she slept, comfortably, that last little bit... was golden.

Well... it's almost time to put her in the ground.  To... bring her home.  Although, from dreams, I see she is already home.  And, after the visit, she visited here, for a week or so.  Even Sassy saw her, which disturbed her... until she understood this wasn't the sick Sam, the mean one.  Then she just noticed, and was at ease.  I wasn't the only one who saw.

Anyway... now to wake.  I have the timer set, for feeding Sassy.  Her litter is cleared.  Breakfast, waking, and... some other stuff.  A shower, pretty quickly.  Which means dishes will get a hit, then be set out, and reset when I finish.  And a shave.  Some of the Shaving cream is in.  Fast, sometimes.