When you are next to death?

.

.

When you are, mostly, just waiting... to die?  When there is little else you can do.  Graced to be able to get up, even stand, some days?  You speak... your mind.  People, normals, really aren't read for that.  They are so busy living in little lies, trying to get what they want, on the cheap, that... they really just can't handle the truth.

Hurt feelings?  Wait until what you face is a final, probably terribly painful, quick or slow, slide off the plane of life.  All you can see is the truth, or aspects of it.  You can't fathom sparing feelings.  Some fear chasing the few people off who will talk to them.  I am beyond that.  Not... for cruelties sake, just... I say what I think because I no longer have the capacity, the energy, to negotiate truths to make people feel better about the lies they live, or try to hide in.

Not that I am always, say, right.  Just... that... I say it as I see it.  I get in such trouble for it.  Whether written, or spoken.  The longer you have been close to death, the closer you have gotten, and certainly if you have... if briefly... slipped these surly bonds.  You can never come back "home".  To understand, if not quite have seen, the face of God... the truth is more important, by far, than even the life I have been entrusted.  I won't negotiate, on that, anymore.  I do try, however, to be more kindly.  But, sometimes, it is what it is.  Ask, and without thought I may well tell.

Just... thinking.  Of how many people I have enraged, by denying lies people live, hide, and worse die, in.  Or their kin or friends.  I... like to hope, by telling and keeping to the truth, I might help them from their shadows, sin, lies, pride.  Some people will never be helped.  Refuse.  Some... I think... can't be.  At some point, choice is no longer available.  Still, I will keep to the truth, if for no other good than what remains of my earthly sanity.  Amen.