Down later.

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It was... around 23:15?  Actually, I think it was that exactly.  Difficulty getting to sleep, difficulty even getting up there.  Too warm!  It was still 74, upstairs and down, and didn't cool off most of the night.  I will have to set up the ac's.  Not... necessarily turn both on, right away.  But... have them set, and be prepared to at least turn one on.  It was too late to tinker with them last night.

And, it stayed warm most of the night.  Something arrived sometime early this morning.  How early?  Well after 01:00, I do believe, perhaps after 03:30?  If I remember rightly.  I am thinking just at sunup.  I thought I saw the sun, first thing when it should rise, then... gone.  And, as I wake this morning, rain.  The house has cooled to 70/71 everywhere.

Great, but I have a heat headache from trying to sleep through the heat of last night.  It isn't horrible, when I get used to it.  But being ten degrees warmer than the high for... since it was averaging in the 50's, yea, it caught me out.  Surprised I was able to wake, and this early.  It is 07:33.  Then again, that is right around eight hours.  But I have generally been sleeping ten to twelve, more on dark days, so...

I had to get up, and come back down, to take the slow acting.  I... just ignored, because I was tired.  But my conscience wouldn't let me let it go.  So, up, down, the shot, and then back to bed.  But, too, I felt the need for carb tabs.  Which... I am out of?  I only was able to find two containers.  Oh well.  I did find lifesavers, and had a few of those.  Same carb count, same ingredients, really.  I worried about blood sugar, but...  It is 164 fasting.  I may have needed that.  Again.  Ugh.  I think I only took 14~16 cc's of fast acting insulin yesterday.  Shouldn't have had a crash.  I may have to reduce slow acting by a few cc's every few days until that settles?  I will start tonight.  Perhaps between diet and else, my body is becoming more sensitive to insulin.  It... just must be.

A dream.  A group of groups of my past guy pals.  Three brother cousins, three friends from highschool if more specific from different schools, and three Navy friends, and three friends from various colleges, and a few local friends from here and now... all gathered for... no particular reason?  Sort of on a car camping meetup, for a sort of food festival.  Not... fancy food.  Guy food... hot dogs, hamburger, maybe a steak... veggies and some salads, sent along by wives, girlfriends, or homemade by some of us.

I couldn't keep up.  Sleep was keeping me out of as much involvement as I would have liked.  Though, too, I realized I wasn't welcome?  I... was, but to, I...  I understand.  And, everyone who visits here understands.  I don't belong.  In any group.  Though I think some get the wrong idea, too.  Still, I... understood.  It made waking and being a part of the event... difficult.  I still tried, but... I didn't want to interfere, either.  I was there just enough to meet, greet, and speak with each one.

Though, too, I don't think the groups got along.  And, in a way, each individual felt... alone.  Just as alone as I felt, for their own reasons.  I went to sleep one evening, and like yesterday, it turned dark and I couldn't wake until late.  Only my cousins and my college friends remained.  I didn't get to say goodbye to the others.  And, even my cousins and college friends were dodgy about hellos, and goodbyes.  Oh, don't... worry, I... know, and am used, to such.  It is my lot.  Hurts?  Of course.  But what can you do?  Grin.  Bear it.  Meh.

Rough morning.  The headache is smoothing out, a bit.  Feelings, if jangled, are being ironed out.  Ribs still are rough, but slightly improving, or at least not devolving further.  It is 46 and raining, has been raining long enough to wet the driveway, even producing mudpuddles.... which have to be just from this... so a reasonable amount of moisture.

I don't know what I have been doing, but I am bruised in an half dozen places.  Big old silver dollar blots of angry colors, here and there.  They don't hurt, if I am not going and playing doctor, by touching them and asking "does this hurt".  Well fuck yeah, dickhead.  I'm telling you.  I have taught doctors not to ask stupid questions, or do stupid things.  My size, and a dirty look, usually keeps them to just asking simple questions from 'over there'.  It's good to be the size of the largest of male black bears... or even larger in some ways.  People aren't as interested in doing stupids.  Anyway... not sure what... how I got them.

I don't know if I can make it, as planned, today.  I am in a bit of physical trouble.  I pushed yesterday.  And, with the heat last night, it's a rough one.  Will... try to at least get some things done.  Though, too, I will try to do what I said I would.  If not, I'll... let them know I can't make it.  I do my best, but it's a rigged game.  Not supposed to win?  I'm not supposed to be breathing.  There is no "win".