Bedtime.

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It's 19:08.  The windows have been open since I returned.  Yet, oddly, it is 70 degrees up in the front room.  I did shut the front door, more because the light was so intense.  Not quite used to the sun being out in full, or part really, as of late.  While the sun is unobstructed by clouds, there is... something... in the air.  Like fall or early spring days.  I suppose it could be considered early spring, but that doesn't feel like what it is.  It could be a mild inversion.  That is when smog, dust, and other air pollution gathers along the mountain front, but can't quite escape... so makes the air a bit bad, and obstructs some of the sun... more or less depending on the season.

Anyway.  Even with that, it was a bit bright, for my eyes.  We haven't had much sun, until the last few days.  Now it's like around 7:00 to 19:00?  Well, it might have an half hour or hour longer before technical sundown.  But, in the valley, it depends on where you are.  Being in the middle, I think we get a bit more morning and evening than either edge.

I think I will have to send a card, to the young woman who has been working on my feet.  I just couldn't say a right goodbye.  I... just don't, anymore.  But I don't want to leave it just there.  Not that she really cares, most likely.  But... I do.  Do things, you suspect are right, for your own reasons.  Sometimes it does mean something.  And, to a degree, I think it will for her.  Not... exactly as I sense them, but.  No... not meaning I have a thing for her, other than, say... as a cousin, in all seriousness.  I enjoyed her company, and will miss her.  That's... all.  So, yeah, I'll... look, next time I am in town.  And put a little money in there, for her to start out with a few extra coins in her purse on the next stages of her life.

I think I will only partly close the house up.  It is 45 outdoors, 68 in the main of the house, and 70 up here in the front room?  Crazy.  Yes, the furnace has been off since... 15:00?  At the latest.  And three five windows were open, plus the front door for a while.  And the door to the upstairs, where two of the windows were open, so there was a complete flow through the house.  Hmm...  All good.  I'm curious how cold it will get tonight, leaving everything open, if only part way, save the front door?  I'll find out.  If it gets too cold, I'll sort it out.

I had worried I would freeze to death in bad situations, but that just doesn't happen.  Not that it couldn't, only I would be awakened by the dreadful cold before it would kill me. Enough to give me a chance at survival, in a bad situation.  But, the house just doesn't get that cold.  Or, not when it is even in the 20s outside, and things are open, with the furnace off.  I doubt if it will get into the 20s tonight.  This house is true old tech.  I am sure it has limits, but... it is impressive.  I may begin experimenting with how cold I can let it go, without freezing pipes.  And, possibly, what I could use to warm it to a liveable standard, with the minimum of various fuels and heat sources.  Next winter.  If I am still here.

I... got a card, from a house buying consortium.  Always make it sound like a family operation, but... it's not.  Still, I called.  Most likely not going to get what I want, but I placed the call, put out my minimum, on a sliding basis.  We'll see.  I am almost positive they won't come near to my asking.  So...  But, that's not a problem either.  I can stay here for... a very long time.  It's tight.  Utilities, mortgage, saving for a bit more, this, that, the other thing.  Death by a thousand stings, really.

It depends on where in South America or Asia I go.  Having an income would be okay, but not enough.  Would want some serious cash for... any contingency.  Plus, would finish up some local business, pay off any and all outstanding debt, etc.  Being a guy, I can live cheaper than with a family or even with a woman.  Could seek a woman, there.  Probably not from the expat community.  That just doesn't work out.  American and European women are... what they are.  Beside too expensive, just... something wrong with them.

What was it?  Is it that they don't care if they lose, or if they don't want to win?  When having a family equals the true win, definitely American women aren't there.  They want to... have fun, go dancing... maybe drinking, date new guys, have sex with new and exciting and exotic guys.  Anything but be a wife, housewife, lover, mother, cook, dishwasher, or even be in charge of that.  I get it.  But... that's just... not what I'm into anymore.  Probably too late for me, but... you never know.

Not looking for hookers, easy women, booze, and else though.  Legitimately looking for a good woman.  A single, solitary, other side, partner, thing.  Impossible, probably.  But, I keep checking.  If they ever come up, I could go away.  I think it would be a win-win, for all of us, too.

Anyway... it's about bedtime.  I haven't gone through the fridge.  May do so on my way.  Just... check, and chuck.  Prep, idea wise, for tomorrow... for food.  With the bathtub clean, perhaps dishes set up in the morning.  I don't have much else to do this week, out.  I would like to swim, and get to mass, but I... can't... not this week.  So, I will try to do dishes, hit the kitchen floor and table, maybe clear the hallways.  Then make it to mass on Saturday.  Ugh.

At least my brother and mother called today.  I'm not sure what was wrong, if anything, on any end.  It is just that neither had called, and I had tried.  I... just... wore out trying.  So Just stopped.  Had to.  Get so weary, being set aside too often.  Life is hard, sometimes.  Too hard.  So... I rest, back off, hide away.