.
Wasn't sure I could do much. Just waking was an issue. I... tried
for a while. Failed. Tried for a bit more. Failed
again. Then, later, finally, did make it out. It was just about as
difficult the time I was able to get up.
The body is sore from exhaustion. The body, and the heart more than
other things. Oh, I... have forgotten meds, for a day or two. And
haven't been taking full doses, missing my later set fairly often. I
just... have trouble just living.
I wanted to eat, right away. I couldn't get to it. I wanted
coffee, too. I... couldn't get to that either.
After a bit, I did get a steak "baking". Ten minutes at 350, then pan
fried. Thick, inch and a half, top sirloin. That worked out
well. I was able to keep at it, get it done, only missing one timing
setup, for just a few minutes. No way was I going to eat the whole thing
though.
I've been off carnivore for a bit long. I just don't have the stomach
for it, quite yet. Though, even when on carnivore, some days I can eat a
very larger steak, some days only as little as quarter of one. But, this
is the start back to it.
I wanted coffee for the last three or four hours since? I did make it,
but lost track. Just getting to it now, probably two hours after brewing
it. It's... good enough. And with fresh cream.
Between the two, I am hoping to get back to carnivore, my style of it, over
this next week. Then... figure out how to stay on it, if I have to call
in favors, or buy someone's time and effort. I didn't have it in me to
get to Costco, and money while not absolutely short was shorter than I liked
it. Perhaps this week I can get in, get steak, and maybe chops and
carnivore snacks. Good... for when starting up, the snacks.
When back on carnivore, I no more think of snacking than I think of carby
foods. Off it? All bets are off.
A gift, from someone. Must have done some digging.
And... a funny. If you play, you know. If you don't?
Perhaps... you... may still make some sense of these. It's just good to
have some humor about one's ideas, games, thoughts, and a different
perspective on things all around?
Well, on to finishing coffee and... I don't know. Back to bed for a
while? I so wanted to get trash and recycling together and out.
It... can't happen. Though... is it... Sunday night, morning, or
Monday? I look, but the... data just doesn't make sense. We'll
see. Later, or good night.
OK, you just weirded me out... For some reason the past two days I've been singing verses and whistling that tune. As a child, "seasons in the sun" was a cool verse, then I grew up and "heard" the lyrics... dark, and sad. Why have I been grabbed by this song recently? And, no, I haven't looked it up or listened to it in several months. The "Seasons" maybe, storms rolling through, wishing for the sun? (I work nights that ain't it). Maybe "black sheep of the family"? Was my dad, guess I inherited that, or maybe my brother did, some of the cousins will still talk to me. "We HAD joy we HAD fun" past tense.
ReplyDeleteI look at all the pictures of young me, and tear up and cry, because I know what that little boy is going to go through, both good and bad. I can't change a thing for him.
I don't just hear mechanically. You... should know that by now. I've seen that look you got on your mug, when you... saw your gift, quite often. In person, when I say little things.
ReplyDeleteDigging isn't always at my place. We... all have places.
Be at peace. Glad to know wherefrom that arrived. Checking one question off my vast list.
Not making that "weird" feeling any better.
ReplyDeleteMy mother still... gets goosebumps when I say or do something sometimes. She knows I'm not all here, in ways she doesn't understand. Well, the mother the world knows. I suppose that would put you in good company. Or... company as good as you can be in, in my book. Mostly.
ReplyDeleteNot a test, too random with few emotional ties. BUT, being choir trained, I have a catalogue of songs that just require a pitch or tone to start the song. I would get different pitches from different watchstations, and different songs near certain machinery (still to this day). IF my most sung tune on feed-control watch, EVER ends up in your music feed it will freak me the "F" out.
ReplyDeleteNOT a challenge, only info.
If it happens, it happens. But... I wouldn't count on it. Though... you never know.
ReplyDeleteWhen doing heavy calculus, into theory, and diffy q? I'd hear music. I didn't know music well enough to... enumerate it? But it belonged in baroque, to give you an idea. I got an A+, natural, at the UoIowa, in eng cald II, with a professor who wrote the test in an attempt to fail us all. He hated Americans. Chinese.
The term before, he failed everyone. In our term, he passed everyone with a B+ (in spite of most having actually failed, save me and one other). For their part, they did send him back to China. F him.
Yes... I... have odd relations with music, too. Who knows. Music is often how I talk. It seems it may be a way for you to think, or deal with reality?
Trying to figure what the trigger sound is/was, started humming a bit, The beginning series of three "Dun, Dun Dun" guitar chords just before "Goodbye". Matched the same pitch as the HVAC unit in our office...solved.
ReplyDeleteIt is a small world. Makes you wonder if the songcrafter worked hvac. :p
ReplyDelete