.
I did get through to an aunt. Who as having a meal with my mother when she contacted me back. Or, it sounded like it? So, I asked, if she was there, if she would have my mom call me. She, it ended up, was there. So... my mother called.
She had not received any notice that I had called or texted (called three times and texted, just today). I got the call, but while they couldn't hear me, I could hear them talking about... something. She ended up talking to my on my aunt's phone.
While talking to her, I told her she should have someone check to see if I am banned on her phone. Who would do that? My phone company, google employees, the government as it stands, lots of people, for many reasons. Though, most likely, she does it, then forgets, denies, or something. Just... how things work, and given likelihoods.
Evidence? While talking to her, after a few minutes, someone else called her on her phone. She... had to take that, so pretty much hung up on me. Fine. I won't be calling her. Not after today. I get it, I do understand. And, I don't mind. She is a hardcore liberal. This is that.
It's not proof, just the realities of life and family these days. I am not the only one who doesn't have much to do with family, if mostly from their end. And, no, it doesn't bother me. There have been issues my whole life. So be it. But... I did get through. I worked to get through, not because of the holiday, because she asked me to call her, left messages, while I was down and out. Was just trying to... make that right, and make contact. Done and done.
I won't call her again. But will take a call, if I notice it. Can't say I didn't try, when I was able anyway. Later.
Had a "strained" call with the Mom unit. Feel bad, now she's alone, I'm thousands of miles away, Brother was supposed to help her, spoken and implied conditions... He gets Grandma's house I'll lay no claim, just take care of Mom. He can't even take care of himself... He has threatened my life (even a crippled drunk can kill with a shotgun.) I'll never be alone with him again. Sad we had a good relationship we could not see each other for a year or two, and pick up a conversation where we left it. I fear we both damaged our brains enough that instead of "clicking" like we used to, we are in "conflict"??. I know, I'm the big brother, and we can be horrible to each other.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I think mentally he's looking for someone to blame, I blame myself for me, no one else, I think he blames me for him too. "I never got the "Big brothers guide to brotherhood" (for Dummies) while waiting to be born"
"Mistakes, Ive made a few"
After dinner I lay down on M.I.L's floor with her two dogs and pretty sure dosed off a bit.
I think a lot of people are looking for someone to blame for... reality? I don't even think there is anyone to blame. Life happens, gets hard, harder, then ends. At some point, even simple dignity becomes unobtainable? Or... one's standards have to go down.
ReplyDeleteIt's a damned shame, to see family think they are owed what people can't give them. Even be abusive or worst. Just say a prayer for them. Leave a door open, if you can. And let it go.
I get it, I do. It's not right, but I understand. I went through it, when I first became ill. Angry, that people couldn't, or wouldn't, save me? But no one can save you. Especially if you are half or more of the problem, though no better if it's just bad health.
Pray for them. Be there when you can. Understand, as their worlds shut down, and the world grows darker, they seem to need to blame someone. Not much you can do.
Dogs are easy, unless they get a disease, or wounded and in pain beyond conscious thought. Though, maybe that's no different than people. Be well.