Another death.

.

.

A favored cousin, for my part.  Not sure she liked me.  But I am used to that.  Especially from females, certain ones.  I had hoped to see her before she died.  I was pretty sure that wouldn't happen.  No matter, now.  At least, with this one, while I will pray for her soul, and family, I am more secure with her destination, up front.  Still.  Prayers.

She became familiar with me at one of the worst points in my life.  Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong and I shouldn't have yet been living. All while being gaslit by a medical industry hiding vaccine injuries.

Would she understand, if told that three of my organs could be on the replacement list, indepently, if they bothered with multi organ replacements?  Yes, it... affects the mind, emotions.  More so without treatment.  She is one of the few, for some reason, I hoped to... explain this to.  Most I didn't care about.  Many wouldn't care.  Perhaps she wouldn't have cared. I'll not know for some time.

She had a lung transplant twenty years ago, or so.  I had hoped that might more greatly inform any judgment about my conditions at the time we became familiar.  Though, who knows.  Some people will only believe the simple.  Only what authorities say.  Even after covid flu.  Or, don't care.  Having their own concerns.

Though I wasn't seeking... understanding?  Or even forgiveness.  More, seeking to have my misfortunes... released?  

Difficult to know if that is even possible.  People get fixated on their understanding of the past, and wish it left as it is, was.  I'll find out, someday?  If we end up in the same place.  Or close enough.  I can only maintain hope for that, for both of us.  Amen.