Still so very tired.

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I was able to get mother to town yesterday.  It about killed me.  Being up during the day bright, out on the hottest day for some time, still needing sleep.  Desperate for sleep, as I have been for months now.  But, I... knew she really needed to get out.  So I pushed out of my temporary grave.

Sleep and rest, rest and sleep.  Down for one or the other most of the time.  Only awake, full up, a few hours here and there, for a few to six, rarely eight hours at a time.  I try for daily up times, but can't always do that.

Even so, my days are like weeks, months, years.  Excruciatingly slow movements of time.  Though the expanse allows a great deal of contemplation, prayer, intellectual tinkering, memory work, and such.  I have considered delving into physics, mathematics at many levels, and back to language studies.  Not sure that sort of work is possible, but maybe.

I'd like to get back to Japanese, start Latin if I could find a good system, with audio, possibly visual, aspects to the sessions.  Why?  Well, because.  Need?  There is zero need, at my stage of life.  Or, probably, anybodies at this point in time.

Is it over?  Not, I believe, in a final way.  But in shorter terms?  Yes.  H1-b's were abused in order to make more money for less outlay.  That didn't work, so AI.  That didn't work, but they got rid of a lot of higher earners who, while some, many, most(?) are being rehired, it is at a vastly lower wage structure.  More lucre to shovel into the AI bet, since biological genocidal vaccines aren't paying anymore.  A new fake(r), gay(er), way to increase debt... in order to redistribute wealth to fewer and fewer rich people is just how the system operates at this point. 

However, anyone who can do even the simpler math, bothers to do it, knows the gig is over.  Inertia will run it's course.  The belief that tomorrow will be today, with tiny adjustments, will carry the thing to a final conclusion.  While an seemingly impossible correction is coming, and I think elites would burn everything and all down rather than lose?  I don't think they have those keys, yet. 

Gotta admit?  Even should I starve even more than I currently do?  Worth it to watch people try to eat rolexs, masseradis, and piles of gold nobody wants and which won't work anyway.  All that stored food, some of them have?  Not palatable to those used to caviar, champagne, lobster, and five star dining.

Plus, being lowly?  I don't have far to fall.  Some have all the way.  My question is, do they know?  Some of them, I think.  Do they care?  The ones who know will... care when... they have to deal with it.  Most are as apathetic as ignorant.  As with many of their drones, minions.

To be absolutely honest?  The only reason I have the notion of some glee?  Is the smugness that goes with it all.  If they were just drones of the system, I could have some empathy.  But as architects of the fall through practiced faults?  Added to apathy and ignorance?  Nothing left for them.  Or even some larger portion of their drones, minions.

Will see.  The can is getting so heavy that the middle class has been sacrificed whole.  And the lower tiers of the wealthy are being stripped bare.  But the super wealthy still think they have a shot at survival.  The last masser on the plantation is probably going to get the worst of it.  A quick death would likely be preferable.  But it isn't likely.  Think more Marie Antoinette, Maximilien Robespierre, or such.  Funny how both sides of a coin can be obtained in one event?  Amen.