Happy Thanksgiving.

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Oh, well, I have been invited to a dinner.  I just... it doesn't look like I will make it.  Behind, slow, too much to have done to get there, and I'm not moving at a solid pace.  I hope that does not offend, it is not the intent.  There is no intention, other than that I can't quite get myself, and clothing, in sure order, to be there.  Even with several days headstart it simply wasn't possible.  Little things, sure, daily.  But not enough in a day, or even several.  I wanted, as a second, to roast a duck.  I just... didn't have enough going for that either.

Do not fret!  I am still very thankful.  While I may not join in festivities, the offer was there.  And if I may not eat a fowl meal, that option, too, technically, was there.  I will have something to eat, a bit more simple perhaps.  But all good.  I will be many places in spirit.  And I will enjoy my solitude as well.  Yes, it would be good to be out and enjoy company, I have learned that is a treat, a rare one.  Enjoyed when it all works.  Solitude isn't strictly sought, though has become a norm, and not a hated one, not a cage.  It is good.

I had thought to address my kitchen appliances this year, as a Christmas present.  I am still having trouble with my financers, and they may be simply going to steal my home.  I will give them one last chance.  If they refuse, again, to help me get on auto-pay, I will simply begin moving things out in preparation for eviction.  They started out good, then, I think, Zero wanted them to push vets and others into some sort of socialist program.  I didn't want that, and refuse to do more than just pay off my home as agreed.  I'll dump it rather than be forced into taking more money I don't want or need.  Yeah, this monkey in a mansuit is really a piece of shit.  So... that is off the table.  If that gets resolved, I will consider doing this next year.  New stove might have to happen, one way or the other.  But a new fridge, perhaps a dishwasher if I'm not sure where to put it, definitely a new washer and dryer as well.

Instead, this year, I went with a rapier and off dagger.  Oh, yes, fully functional.

Well, you have your hobbies, I have mine.  Oh... the dagger won't really break swords.  It's... just a fantasy name.  It WILL catch and, with a quick twist of the wrist, arrest a blade.  It... is quite handy if one has the inclination, understanding, and dexterity required.  Doing sudoku in 5 seconds means, at my best, I am better than most.  That includes the use of manual weapons.  Though... one thing that is learned in time is that every battle is unique.  Every one can be a failure.  Those with the greatest skill, most serious intent, best equipment, and being wide awake and aware have been slain by the most humble.  Never assume a win.  Never lose your head.

That having been said, and all else being equal... Believe or else, with these weapons I would gladly and easily contest a katana wielding opponent.  Though, with many swords and arming daggers that is possible, these are truly superior to almost any unarmed to lightly armed combat.  I wouldn't attempt to take on a fully armored man with these, mostly.  If pushed, I would use the dagger, my mass and the weight of his armor, momentum, and dexterity to get behind, knock him down, and force a surrender or cause death.  That's why mixed groups were best, each covering for the weakness of the other.  But war, back then, was truly hell... if, usually, only for the combatants... mostly.  Today it is hell all the way around.  I do yearn for the wretched good old days.

Oh... right...  Later.

A changing world.

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The young simply live with change.  They don't always get it, they really don't need to get it.  Not while young.  They can join in when and where they can or stay out if it's not to their tastes or needs.  In a career, they have to, then, stay up on the changes to stay employed.  Some change is cultural, some is social, some mechanical.  All things change.  Sometimes in increments, sometimes by leaps and bounds.  Often the change seems to be for the better, but isn't.  Imagine, for example, if electricity went away.  That isn't a possibility, it is a certainty, at some point in our history.  We think with the length of our lives, not the certainty of history and the natural realities that surround us.

The point I am getting to is, that at some point people stop trying to adjust to changes... or lose the ability to do so, or even to notice the changes.  I wonder if I am there yet, or not.  Oh, I am sure some of the young would think I am not keeping up, with texting or such.  They don't understand that I simply have no need or want of such.  Given my situation, I am fairly well aware of changes.  I am more balking at some, while ignoring others, and still using that which fits how I do things.  Actually, I am probably still advanced on some things.  Not really for trying, more by needs and wants.

Still, I realize times are changing at a greater pace than ever.  If I also see a nexus.  The drive forward has gotten beyond the ken of man and only two things can happen, as to change.  The one possibility is that the driver of change will be automated.  In such a case, no man will be able to keep up.  Change will just happen.  Personally?  As suspicious that I am a form of chaos myself?  I don't think that will happen, or if it is tried, it will fail swiftly and terribly.  Why?  Chaos, which brings change, requires purpose and reason.  An automated chaos would not have... a will, only, perhaps, a way.  Just... trust me.  Or don't.  Doesn't matter, in this case.  The other option, the one I am seeing more likely, is a push to retrograde... to change, but change back.  Oldschool.  That I see even the hipsters looking at.  Many, especially the newer gens, realize they are so far underwater, out of their elements, and dispossessed by it, that they will either become slaves to the system, or break away and become their own lords.  Choices are simple, but harsh.  Such, as maturity dawns, is the realization, and truth, of life.

I think the robber barons, too, are in trouble.  It isn't just Joe the Plumber.  It is the billionaire, the state (of whatever size), the company, the church... all have used and pushed beyond their means and truths and are now facing everything from impossible to maintain structures and services to disenfranchised believers, users, buyers, and sellers.  All alone in their towers, while the hordes gather and rage.  I don't even think us "peasants" need actually revolt.  A collective shrug, then walking away, and these things can simply whither and die.

Yes, I am still aware.  I simply won't become addicted to tech, or use things that are more of a complication and expense and binding tether than any real use.  I have friends who are trying to back up their life on hard drives, or document their research... all for naught.  Some have never even have had children, or protege.  What is the storage... who is to receive the storage?  Can they even keep up with the tech to keep the files current to tech?  Trapped in their own minds, I suggest.  I suppose a harmless hobby, unless it cost them a real life and family.

Dark dreams... I can't see past the emotion.  Is that part of this post?  I don't think so.  This post was just... me figuring out my place in some things this morning.  I am saying that I do understand what is changing, I simply don't choose to be a part of the aspects of it that I wish not to pursue.  Do not think you are ahead of me... if you are going the wrong way.  Do enjoy falling beyond in your race to succeed.  It just means I'll be and remain well ahead of you.  Later.

Oh, a failure.

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It's little things, really, that seem to bother the most.  My house shoes are... dead, and more.  Birkenstock's, mules, woolen, green.  I like them, if I hated them for the longest time, as need converged with availability, these have done well.  But they are beyond tired.  They are almost dangerous to be wearing.  So I went looking.  I tried simple slip-on shoes from Walmart.  I found some that, mostly, fit.  Too hot.  And, after less than a week, they started smelling like a wet wild animal.  Spraying didn't help.  It was the junk material used.

Since that time, I have been searching for simple house shoes, with the intent of, if I find some, more expensive or cheap, of stocking up.  Two pair to alternate wearing regularly, and another two to four pair just to have for the future.  I have looked at slip-ons, mules, and others.  I have looked at higher end, and lower.  What hasn't been too hot has been too small.  I have no idea... where to even look.  I am almost at the point of just going with those steel-toed work shoes, a few pair for just the house.  But those are a bit pricey to store up four.  Two would be pricey.  What happened to the shoe world?  I usually wear a 12/13, as with the shoes described (13's were a bit big, going to 12's this next time).  But with the mules, I ordered up to a 14 1/2 and it was way too small, couldn't get my foot in all the way.  Really?

I may look again at slip on's, with a decently sole... and consider cutting the heel off/out.  Ugh.  Just... a... mule...  Is it really that difficult?  Hmm... I wonder if one could be made?  I doubt if it would even be that difficult, just a lot of fitting, refitting, sculpting... it might take a while, but if made with design and science and formulated a bit, the second, and on, would be much easier.  I just don't have quite that capacity.  *sigh*  It's... in there.  I just can't do it.  Later.

Such dreams.

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In the first one(s) I remember, I was skydiving, without a parachute, or any such.  It wasn't just fifteen feet, it was... thousands of feet.  Sometimes off structures, skeletal beam structures, but what would such be doing that high, what would they have been secured into?  Perhaps they were sent out from mountains.  Still, how to support such?  Well, I did mention "dream", right?  It, or they, were awesome dreams.  Often I landed in water, but no always.  Why was I diving?  Because I could, and wanted to, it seems.

The next dream wasn't so fun.  I was open carrying, into a truck stop to pay my gas bill, I think.  While I was waiting for them to process my card, some yahoo pulled a pistol.  I could tell it was fake, but I let him know that wasn't cool, a good way to get shot.  So he pulled a real pistol, but didn't point it at me.  Then left.  The guy processing my card was messing around, doing something himself bad.  Then I realized I couldn't remember some things.  I asked my partner, he had memory problems too.  Something bad was happening.  I think they were just planning to rob us through the card, we were too big of game and not the right kind, for their usual hunt.

I was a federal marshal, I was able to call in a raid on the place and it ended up being a den of horrors.  You know there are places like that out there.  They aren't always hidden away.  They sometimes operate at the busiest places.  How they keep a lid on it?  I suppose even those making legit money want anything bad suppressed.  Last I heard, Cali "loses" 35k people a year.  That is those who are reported.  How many illegals go missing?  Some dreams, even if I resolve them, I would rather not have.

Today?  I don't know.  I'll... get to a few more, or many more, things.  Later.

A new week.

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There is more hope this week than last, and much more than any week in the last... long time.  I don't even have a time I can easily look back and see where I was doing well.  I think it started with feet problems, then went to potassium deficiency or the sensation that was the problem.  Slowly I have dealt with those things, sort of, if I am still not regular with them...  Then fall hit, and soon winter.  I seem to be leveling out.  My fall seems to be arrested, for the moment.  Now to get up and get going.  I have been doing very small things that way.  A new week, another opportunity.

I put at least half of the ham and beans in a single bowl and put that in the freezer.  I... well... I can eat that lot per time.  This is the first time I diced all of the ham right away.  And, yes, that is worth the time.  But it is time and effort.  Often, for me, cleaning a place to work, then working, is more of the trick than the actual work.  I hate when all I get is slivers of ham, but then chunks that are too big are also not preferred.  I do like fat, just not large pieces of that.  This was about a perfect ham and beans, if you like white beans.  Though, other than a few odd beans, like kidney, most beans pretty much taste very similar.  I would bet, unless the bean is strangely shaped, most could not tell one bean from another in a blind taste test.

It is raining today.  Given how late in November it is, I won't complain.  We didn't get any real snow the other day, it stuck only to the grasses and mountains, leaving roads and the rest open.  And it didn't last the morning, or more than a day... or... something.  Being the sick kid at home, I don't always look out.  It's almost depressing, some days, seeing a whole world, one I want to play in, one I can see but not quite touch.  Some times more so than others.  It was darkest right before things opened up again, as they saying goes about dawn.

I'll keep at things.  I hope to take a shower, set up another batch of dishes, and set a load of laundry to wash.  I may try to attend business as well.  Just one piece, but an important piece.  Be well.

As simple as ham and beans.

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That's all it takes for life to be good.  It's only ever good for a moment at a time, often.  Oh, sometimes you stumble into a lot of it, then trip and break something.  Which, isn't bad.  I really do enjoy the good and bad of life, even without knowing there is and will be better.  We, even as adults, are more like puppies than we are stoic, knowledgeable, wise, and erect adults of faith, truth, and light.  Oh... those things can be there.  It's just... even our best aren't all that good at those things.  The truth of the matters, all of these and more, will either free you are cause you to surrender even yourself to a slavery of hate, want, and even worse.  I play a hard game, but, at the end of the day, even if I don't think of the game as just a game, realize my limitations, have a chuckle, and keep at it.  I cannot win, even though, if I have true faith, I cannot lose!  Which... is part of why I pray to, and adore God.  He planned all this.  With Satan, and us, sabotaging His gig at every step, willfully or simply foolishly, possibly even wisely as we might see things, He and we will still win, with faith.

Oh, right, beans.  Ham really adds something special.  There is a touch of smoke, a bit of fattiness, some salt perhaps, and some other things.  If you learn to eat right, cut out junk foods and the weird stuff they put in their, and the high salt?  Beans actually taste good on their own.  Nothing fancy, but not bad.  My palate, for the most part, has been stripped down.  I can't like some things anymore, things I used to think I loved.  And I love some things I didn't think I liked, at all.

One trick, when cooking beans, is to get the beans just done, or maybe just about done but close enough to finish as the pot cools.  Another trick, for me, is to put the ham in at a time when there will just be about an hour more of simmering.  Some things, like lentils, cook within that time, so ham can go right in.  Most beans take from two to six hours of cooking, even with soaking.  Lentils, and perhaps just a few other delicate beans, go fast.  If you do beans and ham right, it simply can't be beat in it's class.  This time, I didn't just salt.  I added garlic and dehydrated onion.  A very good add.  In an half hour I will dice the ham and have a bowl.  Then plan on portioning it and freezing it, when it cools enough for that.  Yeah.

Later.

Sunday? All day as some like to say.

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I suppose one could get technical and suggest over seven hours of the day have passed.  So it couldn't be all day.  However, as things are going, I know I won't be awake until it is technically Monday, by hour not by functional business day.  So, does it truly matter?  And, if talking about function, doesn't that include conscious ability to use as a day?  Plus, no one likes those who get technical unless there is an application to the set-aside.  Snark, smarm, or just know-it-all'ism just isn't appreciated, and for good reason.  If you ever feel tempted?  Unless very occasionally?  Don't.  Stick to puns.  Those too are perturbing, but allowably so, save to English teachers (especially female ones) and those who save puns as pet peeves.  I often love to pet peeves though.  Huh?

Oh, the girls woke me this morning.  For some reason I slightly overslept.  So Sam let me know it was time to shimmy.  I tried to bribe her were pets, itchies, and scratchies.  She was having none of it.  Why late?  No idea.  I went to bed early enough.  I did finish off the dishes I was doing, but that wasn't enough work to be a problem.  No idea.  I slept well, feel good.  Oh well.  It wasn't much late, just a bit.  I may set my alarm, if that... can sometimes be counterproductive.  When you have a bad heart, if you need sleep I advise you take it.  If it gets too much?  Suffer it.  Pushing through, I just don't think, has ever lead to successes, only misery.

I soaked beans last night.  I drained those and have them on the stove now.  I will be adding a bigger chunk of ham once it hits boil and I turn it back to a simmer.  This time I'll be tearing all the ham down right away, then freezing about half or more of it, separated into those 32 ounce containers.  Pull one or two out a week, a couple meals set up and aside.  I just can't do canned soups anymore.  Home canned, maybe... dunno... but I can't really get to canning, not solo.

A shower, before long, after I wake.  Then more dishes and some laundry, I think.  Good day.

Well, a start.

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The first small portions of dishes were washed and set back for a second wash, save a cast dutch oven which is done.  As well, a good meal of lamb chops and eggs was made and eaten.  Lamb is pretty rich, which is either a draw or repulsion.  Eggs, with runny yokes any way, helps level that out.  I have just enough time for a second meal if I want it.  Not sure I actually want it, but I may need it.  Or I'll have popcorn.  Popcorn isn't great, in once sense.  But it is an easy way to get fats into the diet.

A trick I do with butter, at this point, is... especially with my ability to taste salt being questionable, is to add salt, but also dried herbs and garlic, stir the spices into the butter, then pour it on.  Any other way and too much flavor settles to the bottom.  I just use a typical italian spice blend.  That evens out the flavor, and I can taste it better than salt when my ability to taste is weak.  Might be something to try, however you do your popcorn, though.  It does take some practice.  With your seasoning not all ending up on the bottom, the flavor is much more potent, salt included.  So... if it fails the first few times, start quantifying... a teaspoon of this, an half teaspoon of that, or to your tastes.  Oh... and I think even with normals, your tastes will change.  While we can quantify, we aren't objective beings.  Go light, you can always add more, as my final tip.  Yeah, I'll just go with popcorn.  I'm too close to the end of my eating time for more of a meal.

I did pull more meat out to thaw.  I have hamburger already thawed.  I pulled out more, a steak, and a ham chunk.  I'll do beans again soon.  I just won't eat it singularly.  That'll open up the valves.  Sometimes it doesn't, for me.  Sometimes it does.  More if I haven't been eating correctly lately.  Anywho...

A bit more gaming, another hit on the dishes, and maybe knocking that set out, then a shower or bath?  That's the goal.  Might put a load of laundry through... towels... first with baking soda, then vinegar... or was it the other way around?  There is supposed to be a way to strip towels back to the basics... get that... tang out of them.  I'll give it a try, let you know what I think.  If I remember to do it, then if that if I remember to notice and report.  Bleh.  Later.

M'okay.

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Look, I realize sometimes my body is so... down... so something... that things don't work.  I didn't realize that included taste.  Or, maybe I did.  It's a lot like depression, I suppose, only it's not chemically, but physically, based.  Simply, the parts involved are not getting enough blood.  Or not enough chemicals can be created to transfer sensations from the source to the brain.

Off and on for the last month, though fairly regularly, I haven't been able to taste various things.  You know how powerful some gum flavor is?  Yeah, couldn't taste it.  Salt was becoming a problem, could not taste it.  Had to be careful when cooking and seasoning.  I could taste a bit of a burn, if I used too much, perhaps way too much, but nothing else.  Flavor is back.  It's been like this for the last 30 years, worse for most of it.  Simply, I didn't remember, not for long.  I am starting to figure this one out, just not how to deal with it, always.  It's nice to have flavor back though.

I've been gaming.  The Shadows of Mordor, this time.  I don't know what I think of it.  It's a bit of a pita, in the sense that I've not played a game like it.  On one hand, it is interesting.  On the other, it'll let you get in way over your head from the start.  It is easy to burn out on the game.  Further, even as I level up, as complicated as that is, it doesn't really seem to make gameplay any more reasonable.  I just broke into the second tier of skills and such, so I'll know more in time.

Odd how, even when I can't taste, or feel, or think, I can still do a sudoku in 5 to 10 seconds, or play a game meant for those with reaction times of the young.  Then again, I'm not sure the young have that fast of reaction times anymore.  Without experience in competitive physical activities to back up electronic, something is missing.  I know a lot of guys my age who have quit, because they simply can't play.  If I quit, it is because I simply don't like the system.  Some games cheat, and make it a timed, rather than speed thing.  Most do, probably.  I do hate that, especially when it is too obvious.

Later.

Another regularizing day.

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I can't say things are perfect.  I can say I have waken at about 5:30 (actually 5:41 by my computer, which is off, but it's what I used because it's the first thing I see and it is the same thing each day) for a week?  Longer?  I have been doing bits and pieces each day, if not what I hope to do.  Yeah.  Well.  I am feeling mostly rested.  I am not in pain.  I am not too foggy.  Everything seems to be doing well.

Dreams last night.  Of childhood, of things that existed in those times, of how I thought.  While I was certainly a child compared with how I am now, I... never was a child.  I knew far too much.  It wasn't mechanical knowledge.  I could see into people then.  I thought so, but the dream... cemented that notion.  I could see sin.

Of course, what passes for sin today, often, is not sin.  Much of what is called sin isn't any such thing.  The ten commandments, plus the first two... 'go forth, prosper, and multiply', along with some others.  Some sins, or more prohibitions were eliminated... that of foods mostly... 'worry about what comes out of your mouth, not what goes in it'.  I use pairs of " ' " these when I paraphrase.  Many translations, not sure which you might be using.  There were other things, though... for example, long hair on a man is one thing that has been called an abomination.  Yeah, it's in there somewhere.  There are differences between prescriptions, proscriptions, and sin though too.  A question though... while Jesus predates the writer of the long hair thing, if Jesus had long hair, he would have known of it.  So... either Jesus didn't have long hair or the writer (or one who was quoted) thought that not all things Christ were good for all Christians?  It's homework, for you, I don't have an answer.  Not a trick question, just... a question.

See sin?  Aye.  Much as I see in the dark today.  I have mentioned it, put up music videos about it.  See.  Right into the heart of a man.  Right into my own heart.  The old riddle, 'Everyone has it, but no one can lose it'?  A shadow.  But that is more a story, for I was without shadow for the longest of time.  I was in the dark, of the dark, from the dark.  There are no shadows away from the light.  But sin?  That would be a better answer, at least in this place, in this time.  And see it I do.  And did, even as a child.  Grating.  Especially to have come to understand it was, and will be again, a time without sin... even in hell.  Not yet, here or in hell, but... soon enough.

Well, as I said, better.  And jibber jabber.  Dreams can really make me think.  Oh, and I am back to daily fasting.  Eating what I wish in a four hour block, the rest is for without food.  Daily fasting isn't even really that harsh.  I can eat enough potassium, if I keep greens, beans, and such on hand and in the queue.  A couple weeks of this, and medicines back to regular, and then I start on the two or three day fasting cycles.  Good day.

A regular morning.

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How long it will last is another question.  At about 5:30 I was awake and up.  To be honest, that is the perfect time to wake.  Not much traffic to disturb sleep, nothing expected quite yet, time to wake and make a grab at doing other things, time for planning or just some quietude.  If I can find my bible again, I might start reading from it, a bit each day.  A study guide would be good.  I'll look into a study guide.  Quit talking and do, right?  Right.

Today?  I don't know.  I didn't end up doing much else yesterday.  I am hoping to do some cleaning today.  Just a few loads of dishes.  If I do what I have planned, then maybe a load of laundry.  That is all I will schedule in or my mind will overload.  If I end up doing more, it won't be because I overscheduled.  I am in the sort of space where planning to much can kill everything.

I thawed meat as well.  I am setting up to have breakfast.  Steak, and maybe eggs.  I have cleaned the litter boxes and fed the girls already.  Keeping the litter boxes sorted is more important in winter than summer.  I can't just open up and air things out as easily or often.  Though, push come to shove, I can blast the furnace, open some windows, and turn on a fan for a bit.

A shower, maybe a bath, would be good today.  I may try epsom salt without anything else, if I bath.  My feet are getting better.  It's slow though.  It'll take those a long time to truly heal.  And it will require regular use of the water pill and compression socks.  Not absolutes, but pretty regular.  Being a form of chaos, I can't do absolute regularity and do well.  You'll just have to trust me on that.

I've salted the steaks, then I let them sit for an hour.  I had to work the cast pan a bit, but that is done and ready.  It wasn't too bad, or bad at all really.  It's just... that is how cast is.  It's fussy and takes a little work before, during, and after.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.  You know, cheese would go well with the eggs while I am at it.  Later.

Some things just don't fly.

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I have tried to watch vampire diaries, or whatever it is called.  It's a monster series, from a female perspective.  It is why feminism is doomed.  And, yes, all women are feminists.  The pretty ones just... find that male company is better than female solidarity, by far.  Even if they hate it, too, often enough.  Anyway, after bleeding manliness off the way one might bleed heat in the North Atlantic in winter, trying to watch the first two episodes, I have given up.  There is no monster story in there worth digging through that much estrogen to try to find.

I turned the heat up, but it's not helping.  I may turn it up a bit more.  The hope is to do some work in the cave today.  A few small batches of dishes, perhaps some laundry, maybe a little clean up in the kitchen, and just possibly setting up for food again.  I've been seriously off my feed.  Popcorn, a can of sardines, and that's been on heavy food days.  I also need to figure out medicine and get more regularly on it.  I have been on it, just sporadically.  As I begin to do better, getting more regular with that will help.  And getting on the last medicine, carvedilol, might help... after it hurts and I work through it.

I may start a game.  I simply cannot handle the series.  Not sure I want to start up X-Files.  Though, if the game falls through, I may just begin X-Files.

It is getting cool out there.  Later.

Now that was different.

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Several things seem off.  First?  My mother called to check on me.  She said she has tried to call me for the last three days.  I have received no messages and no trace of a call.  Further, the last time we spoke, she said my brother had called, and left messages.  Again, no messages were recorded, no trace of a call, or calls, was indicated.  I have been waking at about 5:30 the last week or more, and using my phone in the morning to play sudoku.  So...  No clue about that.  I wonder if Verizon employees are adamantly anti-Trump protest types, and are screwing with some people and our lines, redirecting, not connecting through, or hacking?  Or are other such types doing so?  All I know is that I am not receiving calls or messages, but can call out.  I need to get rid of this "smartphone" I do believe.

The reason for her call was also... unusual.  It has happened before, it is simply rare.  She wanted to know how to cook bok choy.  It seems that has become available... someone is growing it and offering it, but being "strange", few are taking it.  She dared, but didn't know, exactly how to deal with it.  And she remembered that I had cooked it for her before.  It is good to, even if only rarely, be of culinary assistance.  She taught me much of what I know, and has advised on a thousand and one recipes or techniques.  She has taken two or three helpers, a few bags of groceries, and fed armies.  She can go simple or rather fancy.  She might not know exotics, but anything on a local, regional, and probably national level, she can work with.  Bok choy, essentially, is a form of cabbage... to me.  Stir fry, perhaps even kraut, steam, and I would even consider making slaw with it.  All the cabbage sorts can be used as a pseudo raw noodle replacement, if that works better with some sauces than others.

It did snow, by the way.  If an inch and an half was had, most of it melted.  It started with a rain, which, I think, is why only the grass seems frosted.  The drive and road doesn't look iced.  Which... super.  I may, if I can, get out and attempt to pull some of the stems out to the roots, the ones which would not come up by raking/cutting with the flat-bladed shovel.  I got most of it.  I just ran out of energy after an half hour of tinkering, along with the rest of the day.

Another project, replacing the rear windshield wiper is proving difficult.  I checked at my usual maintenance shop to no success.  I have checked amazon, but... I just don't trust them.  I called autozone today, but they don't have anything listed.  I may have to call the dealership.  I would like to get an extra arm, if that may not be needed, and a couple of extra blades.  If it's proprietary, I hate having to wait, potentially, for delivery.

Yeah, I was up at 5:30 this morning.  Doing good, actually.  I have the furnace set to 66, it's frozen outside, and a t-shirt and unders are good enough.  Actually the girls want it warmer.  And I may turn it up to become a bit more active.  A shower and a call or three.  More business.  If that all works, then maybe more.  So much to do, so little time, so behind.  Good day.

I actually did do more.

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Business, so far, mostly.  I had packages to return, four of them.  Complicated, a bit.  Had to trick around to figure out what with which, but did so.  Then to find a box that was the right size per grouping.  A bit of packing helped.  Then in to town.  After that, I got the auto washed.  It may snow tonight or tomorrow.  As much as an inch and an half may land.  I have weed remnants in the drive!  I took out one line of them, may work on more.  That makes shoveling a serious chore.  I really need to get weed killer on that, and not just for this reason, next year.  Weeds will wreck a drive.  I probably ought to get a crew in to work on that, next chance I see... if I have the money.  Argh!

I did have pizza, as a reward.  Yes, yes, but it's been... a while... a long while... since I've had a treat night.  I might even sip a tipple or tres.  Bonne!  See what I did there?  I'll probably, in truth, only have one good nibble of Blanton's... a mild but true bourbon.  I told you I'd be trying bourbon.  Now, though, when I have a tipple every six weeks or so?  It's... just a tipple.  Maybe two.  It'll take me a year, maybe two, to drain that hooch.  That, my friends, is drinking.  I don't even actually catch a buzz.  It's for the taste, mostly.  There is minor blurring along the edges, only slightly more than what the end of the day normally brings.  Yes, a sip, or two, but no more.

I'll be finishing the Teen Wolf (?I think?) series tonight, then probably starting on another monster series.  There is a lot of suck in it.  It's a teen thing.  Oh, and they cram every queer type they can, and multi-culti, to brainfuck the kids.  Most kids, though, know better.  No amount of teaching really does change kids' minds.  They might get stuck in something stupid, but they know it's stupid.  I think the end of the like for that is on the horizon, and it has nothing to do with my gen, or those before.  Just common sense intersecting with reality.  I think the new series is diary of a vampire, and I expect it will be just as pussified with multiculti too.  I've only bought some of it.  If it's too much I will dump it.  I have X-Files, complete minus the new mini-series or movie or whatever most recently came out.  Pretty lefty, too.  But in the mostly white-ethno way.  Bleh.

Later.  Or good night.

Better, a bit.

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I did make it to the post office.  Packages, mail, just to get out.

Which meant a shower, dressing, and all.  It's been a long time.  I did get the trash out for Monday, so brought the bin back while at it.

I'd love to do more.  Not sure that will happen.  I did check blood sugar, it was 245.  But that is without fasting and without insulin.  Then again, on insulin, it was going up and beyond ~650-700... beyond my device's ability to measure.  So, if it's a choice between 245 w/o medicine, and that on medicine, I'll go without.  Still, fasting, when I can get back to it, should solve this.  Time... *tick-tock*

I have been doing bits and pieces in the kitchen.  First I hit the parts that were malodorous.  Dishes, pots, and such with experiments going on... the cat litter boxes, and trash.  I got most of it in one fell swoop, yet there is always more.  I got it from worst to tolerable though, and have been doing bits more as I can.  Life, even if you keep things clean, is a dirty project.  No matter how well you keep things clean... it smells.  I guess that is why women use so much perfumed products, from actual to deodorizers.  Then again, scent is more their area than ours, on top of it.

More and more to do.  I never get caught up.  I realize I never can get caught up.  To even get close, it takes someone who believes, and is willing to bet on it.  This is not our area.  Even with women, it's only some of them who have any interest in doing that.  I have some business to do.  After which, though, I may consider looking into cleaning services.  I honestly don't think I can afford them.  And I'm not sure I can trust them.  Still...  I figure, if I could get some of it, I could do some of it.  The incentive to do more, and the price of doing less, would be coin... if I can negotiate a reasonable situation.  Yeah.  Of course, there are some other things I really need done, so I have to be cautious about things.  Plumbing problems, a new floor in the kitchen, and maybe help or simply having someone in to redo the bathroom.  Bleh.

On to the day.  At least I am up and moving, mostly.  Good day.

Good good.

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Even if it is dark, I am waking early.  My clocks are still off.  It looks like I was up at about 5:30.  It's the perfect time to have a full day and make it through the day... if I can.

Yesterday I finally cooked again, after a rather long time out.  Food just wasn't tasting good, which didn't help.  Ham and beans, a rather large amount of it.  I'll tell you, that is some seriously good food.  And it gets everything working more quickly and easily.  It sure sounds busy out there, on the road.

I am hoping to get up, showered, and out, in time to hit the post office.  You would think, with this kind of a running start, that the goal could be guaranteed.  That's not how it works.  While I can and do get out of bed at some point in every single day, I don't always rise to even the level of function.  Getting out is one or two more stratas above that, even just to the post office.  It means showering, dressing, then going.  It isn't always just physical, it isn't just concentration, and even if those are both a check, there seems to be other sorts of problems.  A little help wouldn't be bad.  Having a woman around, or my mom when I lived with her, to a point, can help a lot.  Uhrm, if she wants to be helpful.  Though, to my great enticklement, even when a woman is being demotivational or attempting to hamper my will, that can help. *evil grins*  And is sexy.  Get it up!

Well, winter is coming.  I have the oil change and tire rotation completed.  I have a few more things I'd like to do.  Business and a bit of work.  I am doing bits more, but I am getting to things so slowly and weekly.  Ugh.  I'll keep at it.  Later.

Well, there is always that.

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I meant to make some changes on my blog.  I meant to get rid of the "writer", and just have the original operator.  Both are my identity.  I had simply thought having both my accounts have access would facilitate some things.  That didn't work out.  Anyway, when I disconnected an account, it was the wrong one.  Yeah.  On the good side, I didn't sever my connection.  I did have to figure out how to do some things a different way.  A way I don't like to do them, which was... why I was changing things.

It doesn't matter if you are tired or awake, doing good, or buys, or doing poorly... mistakes just happen.  Fine.  Now, to fix it won't be a great problem.  However, it will mean regaining access to an unused email address.  Of course, not only is it a weekend, it's a holiday weekend.  Yeah... Today, maybe?  Is it a four day?  I don't think so, but who knows.  I'll know shortly when I check to see if packages on the way have moved.

Oh, I did get the trash out, and do some work on some pots.  Ugh... I'm talking... science project level pots.  When you throw something out and you are pretty sure it's growling at you...  Yeah, well.  I really was down, and hard, for a bit.  I am hoping this is the week where I get back to things.

I think things are mellowing.

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Some of it was seasonal, some of it was medicine, some of it was politics.  Trying to figure out how to get away if she was elected, with what I feel I need... with the least loss.  Even now, figuring out how to get out, even if a bit more slowly, is... something of a trick.  Where to go, how to clear out, clean up, move out.  It's a lot to do.  And, of course, money.  I have to start living differently, right now.

I may not make it out.  It may not be possible.  Not where I wish to go.  Though, perhaps, somewhere.  Or not.  Still tending some thoughts.  It sort of depends, to, a bit, how Trump shapes up.  If he is just another typical Republican/Democrat wash, then... yeah.  He is merely stop-gap.  If he undoes Zero's darkcraft quickly, and begins swinging the bow around?

The wilds aren't all that comfortable.  They are dangerous.  Risks and other assessments must be made.  I would really like a visit to Alaska before making the move, but the time and money involved...  It's a heck of a thing just getting up there, with wheels, minus airplane.  I'm not even sure about getting through the Canadian border, or back through to the US, on the road.  Nasty in both directions, for different reasons, even if you have clean intentions.

Just... thinking.  Dreams, while I slept, reminded me of my intent.  Perhaps, even if it isn't my absolute desire, as with coming here, my dreams will push me.  Dreams?  Not just dreams.  It took, God I think, four or five years to shove me out here.  I don't think Alaska is a choice unless...  Not sure which is worse though, a wife or the wilderness... or if there is even a difference sometimes.  Different sides of the same thing, mother nature.

Time and a few things.

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It may not be as quickly as I had thought.  I will be ending my association with gab soon.  I'm not a good fit.  It has been "new".  It is addictive.  But it doesn't really add anything.  Socializing with complete strangers.  I suppose some sort of relationship is created.  Just as often someone who is ignorant, none too bright, or just a jerk, is on the other end.  Mocking, but as leftists do.  They never really do just say they don't like what you said or your music.  They actually do just the opposite.  It's difficult to tell what you are dealing with, probably ever.  Snark doesn't do well online.  No tells.

How much longer I will stay is sort of up in the air.  I'd like to wait for Trump's inauguration and first hundred days.  There is some good info, from time to time, there.  If too, there is a lot of junk-false news.  Or just the loony bin stuff.  I am so itching to leave.  It is just a matter of time.

Then, sometime... perhaps before, maybe after, I will end blogging.  I don't know if I should kill the blog, but I am thinking that is probably right.  Between youtube and blogger, the older posts, especially with music, are falling apart.  I really can't keep up on them.  Every once in a while, if I track a hit back, I'll try to fix a page.  But it's... too much work, and not always possible anyway.  Yeah, best to just take it down.  Probably.

I don't know that I'll be able to get to anything more.  Maybe.  The future will just have to be what it is, when it comes, as those things happen.  Yeah... I'm giving you fair warning.  The day is coming.

Good night, Mr. Leonard Cohen.

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Nothing I could say would properly express his life or the learning and joy I gained from it.  A few of my favored pieces.  How best to celebrate some special individuals?  With their own works.  Rest in peace.  A prayer for the resolve of your soul is in the works.

Wonderful.

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Wonderful headache.  Oh, and a bit of nausea.  Wonderfully messed up body.  Wonderfully missed appointment.  I think I can manage the headache.  It isn't a migraine, but is enough offputting I will attempt to treat it.

I changed my doctor appointment to today.  I was awake.  I knew it was coming.  I tracked the time, and... time blew right past it, with me in tow.  How do you drop two to three hours.  Well, it means I'm still doing poorly.  I used to drop weeks, so...  A few hours is what it is.  I just wish it hadn't been today.  Nothing to do but keep at it.  I won't bother making another appointment until I am clear of this psychic... and physical... muck.  Fog?  Fogue.

I'll just... I don't know.  I am hoping to break through before long... or settle in for a long winter of mostly sleeping.  I've been seriously off my feedbag as well.  Which is fine.  I have been meaning to fast, at least daily, for a while.  I am there, I think, or more.  Which also means I need to be getting the potassium in.  Ugh.  There is always something.

Just checking in.  I am just awake.  Days and nights might have shifted back aright, but with the winter darkening, it almost doesn't make a difference.  All good anyway.  Good day, and morning.

Hmm, so it is.

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I tried to stay up later yesterday, to see if Florida, at least, would get called.  I simply ran out of energy.  I left the machine on, so I could easily check if I woke, then go on back to bed hopefully.  I did wake.  Not having to fuss with getting the machine functioning, I hoped I could go back to sleep right away.  That simply didn't work out.  Everything was up in the air, but in a much more potentially positive manner than...

Look.  I didn't think he would win.  I wanted him to win.  I shilled for him, without compensation.  I took some hits for him.  And I hit at him.  It's my way.  Friend or foe, blows of some sort will happen.  Not always, as with Mr... president... Trump.  Testing the tires.  It is how my kind do.  I actually avoid physical, and have for some time, if that wasn't always, even so, my choice.  Sometimes one would step up to champion, sometimes my claims went unanswered.  I am simply not afraid of asking hard questions, serious questions, to me.

To my mind, even so, he held up well.  Not so all of his champions.  But, then... most people, not even men, should step up when I am at bat.  I don't play to be civil, I play for blood.  I mean to win, even if playing the devil's advocate.  If you want gentility, go to the lady's knit club.  Uhrm, or... not.  Depends on the bloody mood of the brood.  Go play softball with the girls.  They might play for blood, but they don't have that much to offer that way.  I'll make you legless, freefalling in gravity, then further slam you even faster on your way down, just to see if you can take it.  As I said, he did well, not so all his champions.  What a pussy world this has become, and that's many of the men.

So, I stayed up, and watched.  None of the sites offering information could be trusted, by me.  I was not going to open cookies for the NYTimes, or abccbscnbcnbccnn or any of them.  So I had to get what news I could from others, on gab.  Every station, to me including fox, seemed to be shilling for Hillary.  All night.  Even when they realized they had no chance, they still tried to push her way.  Last I heard they were trying to suggest she won the popular vote.  Which... I doubt.  Wonderful.  I had, days ago, in spite of my doubts, bet he would get 305 or better.  I'm still not sure if he got there, or yet.

As a return favor, I called my mother this morning.  I wasn't sure which way she have voted.  She was cheery yesterday, though that could go either way with her.  I was just as cheery this morning.  Hi.  Good morn.  Sleep well?  *chitter chatter*  Oh?  Did you know your man won?  *dead silence*  Who, Trump.  Uhm-hum.  This and that.  Well, she was a woman.  Still is, as are over half the people in the nation.  I knew, then, who she was with.  You know, with over half the population female, and them have the vote since... 1919, or maybe effectively 1920... and we haven't had a woman president?  Just the history of women, and how they voted, should tell something.  But, nooooo.  Then again, this wasn't even close.  I'm curious to see if this was a Reaganesque beat-down or a little less.  It was harsh.

Still, favor returned.  She was so chipper and smug yesterday.  Wonderful.  You know though?  I should have told her Hillary won.  Oh... the schadenfreude when she heard otherwise.  Gosh... maybe next time.  Not sure if I can get back to sleep any time soon, or if I will simply try to push through the day.  Ugh...  I'm doing okay so far.  But I know I am running on vapors.  Later or... much later.

Okay, changes.

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Small things, yesterday.  More today?  Maybe.

My mother called this morning.  Just a check-in and flyby.  Well, and an election jab.  It's how my family 'do'.  It doesn't matter which side of things.  If they know which side you are most likely on, they'll poke you in the eye with it.  Not too poignantly, just enough to see if you still have reflexes.  I just laughed.

She said my brother has been calling, has left messages.  I haven't received any calls or messages.  Unless his numbers have changed I have him programmed in, both home and cell.  I couldn't call him right then, too early.  I did try a bit ago.  He didn't answer.  I didn't want to call his cell, that would more likely have meant he was out, perhaps voting?  Anyway, there is that.

Another shower today, I think.  I will cook food, a bit.  I did make a bowl of popcorn.  Plenty of butter.  I simply can't, really, taste food.  I haven't been able to for a bit.  I try to eat anyway.  I'm not sure what the deal is.  No major issue, I have had this happen before.  Not hungry, so it's not too much of an issue.  I guess I really didn't need the gum to begin fasting again.  Still, it might help when I hit a snag.  I have enough for a small gum stand and a larger event.  I may make a few burgers in a bit...  Without bread I'll just add some ranch dressing, maybe melt cheese on top as it finishes.

Yeah.  Another shower.  Perhaps some work if I can get to it.  And an attempt to push through the day.  It's not dark today.  I don't need the curtains open to sense it.  I can even enjoy it, as sensitive as I am, in what you might consider blackout conditions.  Yeah... I'm... that sort.  Oh, sometimes I am better, and enjoy going out.  And a woman might create inducements... one way or the other.  Love em', hate em', or a bit of both... but they sure get their men to... become more active.  *grins*

Later.

Life?

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I felt as if something improved.  Health returned.  For a moment, just a sensation, will it lead to anything more?  I don't know.  On top of that, I dreamed of cleaning my closet, moving to the spare bedroom for a bit, and finishing off my main bedroom on out from the closet.  Time will tell.

I have been a bit frozen lately.  Night and day have been confused.  Often having several sleep and wake cycles each day, and before that some time back, more like having a day last two actual days, if sleep was more normal.  Just the season.  I haven't been keeping up on food or medicine well.  Even so, I may begin carvedilol this week... if I can find it, then load it into the dispenser.

I have a powerful itch to begin cleaning.  We'll see.  Later.

Black Friday?

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Most of my life I have ignored the big sale days.  I always suspected that, for all the rush, mostly what was offered was merchandise... I wouldn't want if they gave it to me.  Last year I did a minor search of what was offered, I think the year before too.  I didn't write about it.  I wasn't sure if the failure was mine or if it was correct.  As the third year rolls around, and I suppose some skill improvement has occurred, I'll give it one more shot.  So far, what I am seeing, is the clearance of merchandise that isn't selling anymore.  Dated, shown to be defective or ineffective, or just out of style.  Even the things that are put on really cheap, limited number sales, have seemed to be low end, really out of date things... like big screen televisions of a brand I wouldn't buy.  If I wouldn't buy it at ~$400, why would I buy it at ~$99?  Not good enough doesn't become better when it is offered for less.  And, most such can't be returned.  You won't even have that as a minor backup.

Clearance of items which won't sell any other way.  That is what most of these sales bring to mind.  Cheap stuff made even cheaper.  As I said, it just doesn't work for me.  Now... if there is a minor niche to fill, or a rather specific item you had already been seeking, that comes up?  Sure.  I just haven't seen a thing I would buy, so far.  I'll look, again, this year.  Urhm, no... I won't do the store thing.  That is insanity.  And for lesser deals even then, from what ads have shown.

If someone can advise me about what I might be doing wrong, I'll listen.  I won't even argue back.  I'll give it a go.  Just... trying to find a way to save some money.  But on things I really would like to buy.  *shrug*  Later.

Troubles with fasting.

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While I was chewing way too much gum, I have reviewed things.  While I didn't need it to fast as I had been, it might be useful at this point.  Part of the problem with fasting, currently, is not being on a good regular schedule.  I AM, probably, fasting... but in an uncontrolled manner.  Fasting and feasting, more than running a program.  So I have ordered enough gum for a good long period.  The hope is, though, that between using the calendar to know when and what I have eaten, plus the gum for control when I could otherwise slip, and going mostly back to plain tea, I might be able to get it all going again.

Beside feasting and fasting without a good handle on that, keeping up to cook isn't happening well either.  I'll keep at it.  At least I don't really need to go to the store for much, being primarily a meat eater.  Milk, eggs, that sort of thing.  Fruit once in a while, and now some vegetables.  But those are sides.  I can do without, for a long time, if needed.

Gabbing as usual.  It does seem that, at any time, I can quit the program.  I'm thinking on it.  Later.

Sleep is simply off.

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It looks like days and nights have halved.  About two per day.  Yeah.  Medicine and the season.  I can't quite get back onto medicine perfectly.  Too exhausted to focus and memory just doesn't survive the various seeming days and nights within each real day and night.  No worries, I don't feel horrible or anything.

Food... I just can't seem to eat much of it.  When I can bother to remember I am hungry.  Food just doesn't get digested anyway.  I've been munching on almonds, as they are easy and I can eat a small enough dose that they don't clog up the gut.  Yogurt too.  Which tells me it isn't mental tiredness, but my body simply not able to function.

I will keep thinking about what I wish to do.  Sometimes, if I see it and do it, work can draw me out of that dead zone.  Hmm... a bowl of yogurt, I think.  Later.

Awake at a normal time?

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Awake by 7:00, give or take an half hour.  I have three different times on various clocks for various reasons.  Softly waking means I am never sure which time I saw.  It is better than not remembering a time at all though.

I have no idea how to get going on things.  I know I wish to do so.  Even taking medicines regularly is a bit of a task.  Not a task I am successful regarding.  I do well for four to ten days then drop the habit.  It's not willful, it's simply incapacity.  No focus, foggy memory, poor time tracking.  No real problem if it isn't a real problem, I guess?  *grins*

I am not hungry.  I try to eat.  I make food from time to time.  Just... nothing really tastes good.  I have yogurt.  It's soft enough, and easy on the system.  Yeah, it's... to that.  My body has to work to hard to digest almost anything, which is a part of the problem.

I'm not terribly ill or such, save that time with the doctor.  Then again, as with when I tried to push through to get to the doctor, if I feel bad, and I back off and go to bed if necessary, it all works.  I get better quickly.  Not ill, just not really in charge of my schedule and at risk if I attempt to push it.  Just of illness.  I suspect I could function quite well, but there would be a price.  I've done that often enough.

On the good side, I may be getting back on schedule so I might be able to make the next visit.  He had an opening fairly soon, so it'll work out.  Later.

Wonderful.

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As headaches go.  Not a migraine.  I have given it enough time, I do believe.  I hate medicine, even, perhaps especially, painkillers.  Pain has made me what I am, like it or not.  Still, this stupid little thing has had enough of my time and patience.

I am feeling better.  I don't think I have good control of my sleep/wake cycles though.  Which... was what I ran into.  Between this and that, I run a very rough range.  Sleeping six to maybe fourteen hours, but staying up from twelve to twenty four hours.  Once in a while I crash short, but mostly if I've done a couple of long hauls, and then probably back to back or more.  It is what it is... Fall to winter crashes versus the push to not fall.  Massive effort against the fall of a titan.

Tonight?  I don't know.  I am in the process of making a meatzza.  I would like a shower.  Perhaps some work in the bathroom, kitchen, or both.  If I get the shower in a timely manner, I may hit a load of laundry.  And... dishes are always something to do.  Bleh.  I truly hate dishes.  Even with disposable, there is always something to wash.  Always.  Always.

Gabbing a bit.  This time of night it's mostly Brits and cousins.  They don't understand us anymore than we really understand them.  They aren't fighters.  Some small history of it, but...  More like hobbits compared to men, really.  Brits have gotten in it, but they are horrible at war.  For them it has always been survival, no more.  And they aren't very good at it.  Their elitist classes are worse than ours, and totally based on who, not what is known.  So... it's slow to gab at this time of day/night.  And... they keep to their own, somehow.

Well?  I don't know.  Later.

Missed the appointment.

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Rough.  I woke in time.  I was simply horribly off.  Sick.  A bit of nausea, a general sense akin to vertigo, and some other general problems.  Nothing serious, but... hmm... grounding.  I could get in to shower.  I had to sleep more.  Rough, rotten, untenable.  Still, I called to reschedule.  No fuss it seems.

Why so ill though?  I haven't felt bad for a very long time.  Perhaps lethargic, not ill.  And this was something else.  As illness goes, it was bad.  The thing is, just a few hours more sleep and it is completely gone.  Well, mostly.  What remains... I'm not even sure it was involved with that.  It may just be typical creaks, groans, and such from life.  What remains doesn't seem associated.

I am rather tired, and sore about the shoulders.  No idea why the soreness.  I think the exhaustion is simply less sun and cooler temps.  Seasonal.  All good.  I just wish I could catch a break on that.  Sometimes, if I can get used to it, I can come back part or full.  I'd like to get back to work on some things.  I like to work.  And I like what work creates.

Later.

More reading?

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Maybe.  With Dantes finished, I may move on to the new testament, but this time in full study mode.  Not only do I want to look at the notes much more closely, and of course review any cited material, but also look at a good study guide.  Perhaps the whole new testament, or many just a focus on the gospels?  As the seasons change, this might be a good way to stay focused.  I may need to source a study guide I find acceptable.  Just because it says Catholic doesn't mean it is, or even if it is that it will suffice.  Much of Catholicism has been adulterated, more so since the Vatican II, then faster and faster with these last popes.  Perhaps there is something from before.

Hmm... Okay.

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Whatever went wrong seemed to have corrected.  I seem, now, to be able to visit blogs.  And that post did go through.  Or seems to be in place from my perspective.  Difficult to know otherwise.  Later.

I am not sure what happened.

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It looks like the browser I have been using no longer works to view other blogs.  I seem to still be able to blog.  This is a bit of a test for that.

I can't seem to get going in life.  If you can't get going, the best thing to do is fall back and regroup.  If you have to fall, fall somewhere more comfortable or close enough to get there.  Some people don't get the option, I have it so employ it.  I will keep looking for opportunities.  I simply haven't been seeing them.

Medicine has become quite regular.  Just getting that back on track will help, if I am not quite up to specs.  Still, twice daily, so as I add the last medicine, then increase dosage, it should be smooth.  Depending on how bumpy the start of carvedilol is.  That can be a monster or simple, I never know.

My feet are really back in shape.  They are still healing, but well and well into that.  There were some serious risks with them.  And, even with the good, they are still a weak spot.

I've been comfortable with the house at 66.  I don't think that is holding me back, to be honest.  I don't get that zombie cold sensation when it is too cold.  I am back to having a fairly warm body, if I can handle warm days still too.  Something is right, that is how it used to be.  Hot, cold, humid, arid, it really didn't matter to extremes most people couldn't take.  Whatever I am doing, it seems to be about right.  Probably.

Later.

Conversations lead places.

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Various people, men for our part, women for their part, in various topical and not conversations, spun my mind into considerations.  How fickle love, even if true, and the grandeur of it?  Maybe.  How trusting, foolish, and necessary... love that is.  Maybe.  Such a strange thing.  Would only fools dare?  I hope not.  While a fool in many ways... then again.  Maybe.

A different dinner.

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Oh, well, not an every night event.  Still, once in a while, a treat is good.  A feast.  Have you ever eaten signal crawfish?  It was in the works for a while.  That and some very good adds, including shrimp, red potatoes, fresh (somehow(?)) green beans, onions, spices, and such?  Oh, right.  Not a meal for every day, or even monthly.  I am still rolling my eyes back in my head.  A lot of work for a little meat.  True.  But beats a fork soup diet.  It was quite good.  In a few months, or so, give or take and all, I might have to do oysters.  Share out for a hand shucking.  Some for half-shell, some to be frozen for soup?  Yeah.  That would be nice.  If you've ever been sea-side and more, don't eat anything.  That stuff is addictive!  And pricey if you move away.  Then again, they usually don't have good meat on the hoof.  A good steak, seaside, costs as good seafood does inland.  Gah!  There has to be a better way?  Really, though?  I don't think so.

I've been Gabbing like a fool.  Oh, I mean online.  I can't do a whole lot more, right now.  I should be acclimating to medicine before long, but then I have to add another, then do a couple of titrations.  So... it's not going to be quick or easy.  I will push when I can, I just haven't had... the pedal is mush.  While that isn't an improvement, clarity is better.  I'll take what I can get.

I found another tv series I thought I might like.  I ordered a few seasons, and will after seeing the first season, order the rest.  Teen Werewolf, or some such.  Yes, from mtv.  The music sucks, unlike Supernatural.  But the story is okay, so far.  Yeah, the teen stuff sucks, as with the romance and such from Supernatural.  Ew, kissing.  Yeah, maybe I've become a pre-teen again.  Though, maybe that is just a guy thing.  Especially a single guy.  I may check out Diaries of a Vampire and the Originals too.  Hey, other than the trampy, trashy, chick-flick aspects, some of these are okay.  Except for the kissing, if I didn't mention.  But then again, I've never really been a voyeur.  Just isn't my gig.  Play or do not, but don't watch.  Heck, I'm that way with sports too.  Uhrm... in a very different different way.  *blink, blink*

Uhm?  Later.

Yes, starting medicines can be a drag.

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Not so much... hmm... troubles... merely losing concentration.  I've been on them a couple of days, for sure, again.  Tracking well enough, if I had to make some changes.  Keeping up, just on food, forget blogging, has been... interesting.  I am trying to mix in more good carbs, as it is somewhat needed, while still trying to keep those down as far as possible.  After this two-week setup, I will begin switching in carvedilol.  Yeah, it takes a while.  Everything has to be perfect, then I have to be in shape to fill the dispenser, then I have to... be will and able to take a nosedive.  I am a reluctant patient.  If someone wants to clean and cook, I would do it more quickly.  Barring that, wait.

Gabbing is continuing.  They are trying to welcome leftists on.  The problem?  Question a lefty in the least and they run away to where no one doubts their lies and foolishness.  Yes, they know they are lying.  That is why they try to angle in to it.  If they don't look directly at their lies, I think they think they can believe.  When shown, and forced to look directly into the matter, their theories splinter and shatter.  Their ego is so involved with their lies that they simply can't handle the truth.  So... gab gives those "harrassing" the lefties a shadowban timeout.  It doesn't seem permanent, it does happen.

I see gab as just another form of twitter at this point.  They want both demographics, left and right, for advertising.  No more, no less.  It's simply a business.  And the only way to ensure that is to shadow ban whichever group seems weakest, prone to fleeing the truth or direct debate, needing a safe space.  They are only, perhaps, better than twitter in that the bans aren't permanent.  But, no, you can't speak freely always.  So... get that straight.

I am still working on developing the account... adding those I follow, some following back, commenting, and just reading.  I am not sure when an account can be ended.  Not yet, the mechanisms aren't in place.  Yes, I am considering ending my account when that is available, give or take.  Maybe this one too.  Just... leaving the interwebs as I left television.  I suppose I have to keep an email, but if those things happen, it will just be for business.

Maybe.  I have things to do and these things are distractions... and costs.  Later.

Sure cleared up fast.

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I went from being rough to being well before dinner yesterday.  I am doing well again.  Sluggish, a bit, sure.  But well enough.  Visitors to the blog continue.  I can't see where they are looking.  Though the story I began, then quit, seems even to have been dug from the dust of age.  As I said then, I won't become a slave to writing for only a few measly bucks.  The average writer, assuming they put out enough, makes around $6k a year.  What with leftist gatekeepers on one side and raw markets on the other, now is not a good time to try one's hand at it.  Sure, if you want to produce, edit, figure out how to get that into ebook format, advertise it, and run yourself ragged, for such small money, go for it.

That isn't all though.  Music.  I can tell through various means that a lot of music is being reviewed.  Are the words being read around it?  I don't know.  Might not be possible, unless it is many visitors, not just a few.  I wish there was a way to know, but I haven't found an honest, trustworthy, tracker (that visitors won't cancel... and can't blame them).  I think one is still on, but only because I don't know how to remove it now.  A block of code in there somewhere.

Today?  Well... who knows.  More laundry, another shower, setting up the dishes which I didn't do the other day...  No more, probably.  Oh, perhaps seeing about male-in balloting.  I'm not sure if there is still time, how to do it, and all.  I like it as it would give me a chance to review some things that I don't currently know.  First I need to wake a bit.  I'm at 3,900(?) I am following in Gab, with about 1,500 followers.  So I hear much.  Can be a silly place.  As memeingful as... well... as memes are.  I'm backing away  from memes.  Going more for supporting news, literary, arts, and music.  Now I know, for sure, what a meme is.  It's a slogan... and how the West has nearly been lost.  Bleh.

Later.

Rough.

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All good.  A new week, a fresh start.  Little works ongoing.

It looks like many visits today, but this time it was mostly, potentially, from "my" browser.  I had it sitting on my blog for edit and a page.  I can't be absolutely sure it was my browser being counted (won't let me turn off self-counting on this browser).  Now, usually it will only count the first visit.  But if the internet is intermittent, which is becoming fairly regular, that might be causing this.  No guarantees, just a suspicion.  I'm not tech savvy, mostly.

Then again, even the big boys have no real clue who or what is dinging their visitor counts, even with the gooder trackers... especially with yahoos like me who do everything we can to NOT be tracked.  Oh... I get it.  I just wish there was a tracker that bloggers and visitors could agree upon.  The problem is, as soon as they make one, get it a good name, they then sell it to Russians or the Chinese, who immediately savage everyone using it.  I've had to trackers sell and become poison, I just stopped doing it.  And, yeah, no, ms's tracker?  Yeah, no.  That might as well be Russia and China combined.

On a food note, I have found the diced raw cabbage goes quite well with any salad dressing I like.  Cabbage seems to last longer as well.  Not sure it's for everyone, but I like the meatiness of the vegetable.  Oh, and when prepping?  I cut the heart out, chef's treats.  Those truly are fantastic.  I don't even salt them.  They have a peppery taste, and just a bit of a bite.  You have to be 'this tall" ~adult and with an acquired taste~, but if so, this stuff is good.  Raw, as salad, or cooked in with fatter meats.  The fats sweeten the cabbage, the cabbage soaks up the mess, and it all comes out cleaner.  Once I have the ground meat(s) fried, I add the cabbage and let it cook for eight minutes, stirring it in at the start, middle, and end.  Not fancy, not bad.  Hot, more simple savory, or even slightly sweet will do.

Well... on with something, or nothing, depending on how it works.  Good evening.

Lots of visitors.

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I didn't think I left a link to my blog from... the chat sight.  Maybe I did, or maybe some there knew me there and here, or...  Many visitors.  I didn't think they liked me there.  Though, favor isn't always the point?  I did wonder if it was a fluke.  Perhaps someone purposefully or accidentally pushing my numbers here, for any of a number of reasons.  But there were enough different browsers that... it might be legit.  Not sure why they would visit and not comment though.  That seems odd.

Perhaps they are just music raiding.  Little written here could be of interest.  Who knows though.  Kids these days.  Well... and adults?  Could be.  Still, it's... interesting.

I notice that some who I know who are lining up to vote for Hillary are surprised that I am not surprised.  They have been trying to convince themselves they are conservative, but only really supported that when they believed the party would rather lose than actually stand on real positions and actually fight to win.  The Republican party has been a leftist drone since before I was born, only making a slight inkling of something substantively conservative with Reagan.  But that was a fluke and was suppressed immediately after.  No, not surprised.

I received a mail in ballet.  I will see how to do it, and if there is time.  If so I may go that way.  Simply, it is difficult to stay on track and be ready on any given day.  Although the window of opportunity is rather wide.  Still... might be best this way.  Have to figure it out though.

Another load of laundry going through.  I am hoping for a shower and setting up dishes, but no promises.  Ugh.  Later or good night.

Days are slipping.

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Yes, noted the other day.  The slip hasn't gotten too much worse.  Instead of 8:00~10:00, it's an half hour later.  The slippage hasn't been heavy or fast, simply sure and small.  Which is fine with medicines being started, fall here, and just the tide of my cycle.

I got some of the work planned done, yesterday.  I started a fresh load of laundry this morning.  The other load I only set to partially dry, meaning to finish today.  Another shower, then at least setting up some of the dishes, should go ahead.  Then, probably, some cleaning in the kitchen.  The new month approaches and I really want a plumber in to do and fix some things, perhaps do it all depending on his quote and willingness to stick with the quote.  I simply want the areas he would be working in to be reasonably clean and neat.

I am tired.  I feel it right down into my bones.  In a way, it seems worse than what it has been.  Truth be told, I don't think it is.  I just think that as I get better I notice how bad it has gotten more acutely.  Darkest before dawn and all that.  It'll be a couple of weeks before there is much improvement, then there will be setback of starting the heavy medicine.  Then that will be increased twice, over a month or two.  THEN I'll be... maybe better, usually better, better until my next fall unless I am still in this one.  All good.

On to waking.  Good morning and day.

Hmm, I think I can.

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Not tomorrow.  Maybe then too, but today I mean.  I called my mother but she didn't pick up.  Next, a shower I hope.  Then setting up dishes and getting laundry back, perhaps getting a load going.  If I do laundry, just one small load.  As I may have mentioned, for me, I have learned a right configuration... two to four towels, shirts, underwear, perhaps two t-shirts, and two pair of jeans/slacks.  There might be room for a few odds and ends, but... too much more and folding and such just is at risk of not happening.  Yeah, I like clothes and towels folded and put up or hung.

Dishes?  I might be able to wring a load out tonight, but no promises.  If I can get a load washed, and reset to a fresh soak, after a bath, I'll be happy.  If I can get those things done or started, I might be able to hit the kitchen just a bit.  No more, but it's a start.  I won't say medicine is helping, but the thought of it might be.  I like being back on the road.  It's a tough road, whichever way I go.  Even just flopping into a ditch, since I can't seem to die.  So... better to at least be fruitful as I drag ass... at least if I can be.

Up very late.

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It wasn't the effort yesterday, I am sure.  It was the restarting of medication.  I am not even on the worst of it yet.  And I won't be starting that, even then, fullout.  Probably half of half.  Still, that's the way it goes.  I didn't think the rest of it would cause a hit, drop, fall.  I guess, compared to the other, it doesn't.  But it sure does.  I am glad I was more cautious this time.  Although, this time, I am only going up in ranks of medication twice.  After this.  Yeah, I can tell it was restarting medicine.  It's just... a different feel.  All good though, I suspected it might happen, which is why I am taking it slow.  It is even why I was... taking my time restarting it.  I hate adding a load to an already stressed system.  I know, it gets better on medicines... mostly... usually.  The highs are higher but the lows are worse, even sometimes to having to stop taking medicine.  HuP!  No I know and attend better though.

I hit the tub with the plunger today.  Nothing.  Plunge.  Nothing.  Plunge.  Nothing.  Plunge.  Gurgle.  *swoosh*  I had cleaned the tub recently.  I was terribly surprised to see only a little ring remain, which I will clean off when I shower next.  I thought I was being punished for a good dead and would need to scrub the thing all over again.  Sometimes a good deed remains untarnished even through the flood.  :p

I just brushed my fangs.  I might even begin trying to hit them three times a day.  I have some specialty gargle that... well...  For a couple of weeks I want to hit them hard.  Oh, they are healthy.  Healthier than I have any right to, it's just they get a little... long in the, well, tooth, from time to time when sorely neglected.  I am also hoping to hit many other things, if I can.  Back to work in the cave.  I want to get the kitchen and bathroom reset for a plumber to be in without too much fuss this next month.  Yeah.  At least I don't have to call him early.

Later.

A start. Restart.

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Murderously stumbled at it.  First to get the shower.  Ugh...  Wash, scrub, double soap, triple.  Rub a dub dub.  I love showers, especially when truly needed.  Of course, now the tub as full and not draining.  I have plunged a great deal.  I'll try again tomorrow.  If all else fails, if I will keep at it I may call a plumber in.  While he does that, I'll get a quote for some other work.  Bleh.

I made it to the post office first.  Several packages.  Including a device by which miso can be added to broth.  Yeah, I know.  Not absolutely necessary.  It's just...  And I think it can be used for other things.  Not used in the US, that ended up shipping from Japan and took... a month or two?  Bleh.  Still, it's here now.

Then I needed to get some packages returned.  Even with me saving boxes of various sizes, getting the right one for the right one is often a bit of a trick.  Which is why I save packing material.  Just the paper kind and I doubt the blown plastic bubbles will last and I think old peanuts might get nasty, and fast.  I almost just didn't do it, but... darn it.

I then drove through the car wash.  Yeah, I like paying upfront and just being able to clear any time I happen to be in town without worry about cost.  She needs to be detailed a couple of times.  I let the cleaning go for a bit.  I'll... fix it.  And I ate pizza.  Yeah, I know.  But I have been off everything for a while.  The pizza was a kiss off to how I have been doing.

Medicine was taken, for the first time in a while.  I started wearing the socks again.  I'll take meds tonight.  I'll brush my teeth again.  I did shopping and will begin mixing milk and whole cream in an attempt to get thicker kefir, probably tomorrow.  And tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my diet.  Or, that's the plan.  I do have to have carbs, but greens, whole rice (a little), quinoa, onions, things like that.  Smaller doses, but good, slow burn, carbs.  Gotta have some.

Yes, today.  A restart.  Good night.  I have a bit more time to be up, a few things to do, but... I'll be getting there soon.  Sleep well.

Some days...

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As I wrote there I will suggest here...  Some days I just don't seem to be able to do it right.

I've been off of all right things of late.  No work.  Odd and wrong timing and food for eating.  I haven't been taking medicine or else.  I am going to push through today, in an attempt to get some things started.  I think medicine, some of it, is required.  Though, too, there will always be times when I simply fail.  That I am not failing all of the time... the why of that is above my paygrade.  It is above the paygrade of doctors.  I am starting to think not even the angels could say why.

That doesn't mean I will quit.  While it might not be an opportunity to enjoy, it is an opportunity to serve my Lord.  How?  Witnessing to life, through suffering, illness, and pain... showing that death cannot defeat will, only the body, and not even always then.  How much less in God's grace and beyond the veil.  Well, and, once in a while, a good deed here.  It's difficult for me to find them to do, but... it happens.

Interesting.

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As you know, I don't have cable for television.  I also do not have an antenna so as to pick up local broadcasts.  I mean not to have either ever again.  So watching the debates isn't likely.  I don't think they broadcast that on radio, either, and would have no idea what channel to tune in if so.  In any case, I was able to "watch" the debate through Gab.

Now, not verbatim.  But when a topic would come up, there would be a ripple.  I would see something about, say, emails.  I'd have a pretty good idea, but then other bits, such as... she is claiming Russia.  Then I would know, for sure, which emails.  On and on, and then the general idea of a response.  It was an interesting way to 'listen to or watch' the debate.  I even brought a few things up that I hadn't seen broached, like zerocare (obamacare if rightly named).  After I wrote it, I caused a ripple in the chatter, and then the topic was broached.  I... think they are, the handlers, listening to us.  I do.  I honestly think my notion made it to the ears of at least one side of the debate and the handlers of the debate.  Coincidence?  Maybe.

Had a bit of a ball.  A few notes, some shared comments, listening to other folk, and a jab at my situation.  All good.

I need to start getting back into real life though.  Not quite today.  Some work around the house today.  And a trip to town in the next four days.  Food and cleaning, medicine and whatnot.  And, of course, blogging and Gab.  It's what I have.  Later.

Sure rile them up.

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Some women, most women, don't get it.  For them to lose their "rights", all men have to do is nothing.  Which, if you ask them, is exactly what they want.  Right.  But they do want their rights preserved, but only by... doing nothing?  Right.  I don't coddle.  I make it very clear.  Them or us?  The thing is, if we don't do anything... check mate.  Women will lose their rights, and sanctity, respect, and what else the West affords.  If we do something, to ensure we don't have to do it again soon, women will have to lose some of their "rights".  Voting isn't, and never was, a right.  It was limited, to men, over the age of 25 or 26, and taxpayers, and for a reason.

The choice is quite simple.  But it lies in that place that women cannot look.  It is why they were handled with kid gloves, but kept from certain areas of life.  It has to happen again, either softly, or with the back of a sharia inspired slap.  There isn't another choice.  People are living in a bubble created out of history that is totally false.  It was sustained by true wealth creation, until thieves and liars took over and stole what was being produced and ate the geese which were laying the golden eggs.  Now only pigs grow fat, and that on the backs of people being crushed by their government and corporations.  There is no more real gold, growth has died, it is all fixed.  The golden age is finished.  And all that fiction of equality is going to hit reality, one way or the other.

A lot of folk, even on Gab, think we can just... twist the wheel.  Just a bit.  That will save us.  The truth is, there is no salvation.  The wheels are off the road.  How far down is anybody's guess.  We will have to bottom out.  It will hurt everywhere.  Many won't survive.  A lot of people think this, what we are in, is bottom.  This is a splendid time.  I recommend you enjoy, save up a bit, pray, but prepare for a very long hard winter.  Amen.

Awake and good?

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You know, I think so.  I just feel better.  Not the best, not even normally healthy, just... better.  I've been rough and tumble for a while now.  Nothing too horrible, just nothing that is fun to fuss with.  Already sandbagged, this sensation of being really out of sorts adds another sandbag... but they aren't equal, so add to both the weight weighing me down and a large imbalance.  Still off, but, better.

Today?  I don't know.  A shower.  Some cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen if I can hit it. Setting up dishes for a soak if I get the shower in.  And getting laundry back and ready to go if I get that far.  If I can do a load of dishes and laundry, cool.  If not, just having things ready will do.

It looks like a device to help put on compression socks is in.  I don't need it because I lack strength.  Actually just the opposite.  I stretch socks too easily if I just pull them on.  Now, that is a lot of work, and tires me for a bit or lot, so I am hoping it will cut the energy expenditure, while allowing me to keep the compression in tact and help the socks last longer and be in the right place instead of elongated.  I might get out to get that today, or tomorrow.  Bleh.

Later.

Yeah, feeling better.

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Not quite to doing better.  As suggested, I got the trash and recycling out.  Most of it.  I was picking up bits more through the day, taking small extra loads out to the trash.  Recycling pickup happened too early.  No complaints, just, that's how it worked today.  Yeah... trash.  Getting it out should help.  A lot.

I hope to get to more.  I did make lunch.  Nothing fancy, cabbage and beef as suggested.  Oh, I best pull pork and lamb chops out, maybe a steak, and more hamburger.  It really pays to stock up on meats.  All I need to buy is greens, milk, and butter type things.  I can go without those things for a pretty goodly stretch... nearly as long as I have meats here actually.  Not the best of plans, but it works if all else fails.

I'd like to get in to town again soon.  Kefir, but I want more milk and cream to mix in such a way as to attempt to replicate unseparated whole from the cow milk.  Actually, I ought to look up what portion of which is to be used to make a reconstituted whole milk, or whether there might be a trick to it.  brb...  *elevator music*  Okay, finding an exact recipe wasn't possible.  And, really, that "whole milk" can mean many things is another problem.  As well, the breed, season, etc, all can play a part... unless the mixes are formulated for standards.  What I am seeing is that the milk should have 4.6% to 6% fat for it to be whole.  I'll check mine.  I may not need a full half and half, though more is definitely needed.  I will start with a quart of whole cream per gallon of milk, and head toward a one to one ratio as needed.  I really hate having watery kefir.  I want it thicker, like what stores produce, but without the thickeners they use.  Though there are some thickeners that might do if the milk cream mix doesn't get it.  Yeah, there I go, playing with my food again.  But kefir, when it is right, is fantastic.  And can lead into so many other things, cultured creme fraiche to cultured sour cream, and much more.

I am feeling better.  I wish I could be even more active.  It will have to do as I attempt to get back on my feet and do some things soon.  Be well.  Later.

Yes, yes. Maybe.

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I almost feel better.  I am awake, the trash and recycling is out, perhaps a shower in a bit, then maybe some work.  More cabbage and burger, if not preferred.  It is just what is available.  I suppose I could tinker with spices to change it up.  I still enjoy it, but I don't want to go the way I did with meatzza.  I sort of burned out on that.  It'll come back, I just have to change things up a bit more.  Boredom is a serious risk when frequent cooking, complex cooking, isn't possible daily.  Even ribeyes, every day, would get dull quickly.  I just have to remember to thaw various foods.  Having beef steaks, pork and lamb chops, and ground of each, even so, gets tight.  Even when adding in various options.  Low carb is a bit of a trick is all.  All good, I'll keep at it.  Which reminds me, I need to pull out enough meat to last until Friday.

I don't know if some aspect of the weather has lightened up or if I have become attuned.  Perhaps messing with the furnace has helped me find the optimal temp.  I don't know.  I only know I am doing a bit better.  Hard work level better?  It's the intent.  Yeah, I... really need to hit the kitchen and bathroom.  I think I can square it back away, and maybe get a few more steps ahead, but it will take a day of heavy dedicated effort.  I really want to do that, then maintain, to have a plumber in at the first of next month.  Bleh.

I'll keep at it.  Later.

For a time.

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Sometimes I forget.  Sometimes she, several of her, almost remind me.  So be it.

Back to cooking for a moment.

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I love spices.  Not just one type, or direction, such as standard American (as much as that is even possible), Italian, Indian (dot), or... whatever.  If I was wealthier I would keep more on hand and tickle mixes.  I have made more mixes, of my own devising, than I can count.  Some were a guess at a chef's work, some where just my mind working in the background until a 'recipe' pops, some were suggestions from others.  Mexican, Italian, and Indian mixes were my most common themes.

With Indian food, I could not deal with something in their food... sometimes.  I had to test a good deal to figure it out.  Curry.  No, the spice.  Most people call food curry, but it really isn't.  It is actually spiced with something called (garam) masala (?spelling, though it may vary?).  There are more variants of masala than of any spice mix I have ever heard mention.  It isn't even just Indian, but travels a great deal and has many different names in different places, and times probably.

Here is one example.  I like what he does with this.  There are some things I might change, some things I think are spot on.  Though a few of the spices he uses would be new to me.  And I appreciate that he is open to the protein.  I just can't do chicken very often, chicken breast not at all for my part.  I've eaten it, and will, but I can't do it right, ever.  Hmm... I am thinking of marinating with this spice blend or close and yogurt or kefir overnight.  Yeah.  More beef or lamb though.

These spices are made for a people who are quite often vegetarian on into vegan.  So they really need to add flavor.  While it seems social over their, it is also due to crushing poverty and extreme population density plus severe poverty.  So less might be needed on meats, though full flavor can be fantastic in my humble opinion.  By the way, while Indian food is know for hot spice, as with a few other ethnic foods, there were no hot peppers around the world, until after Columbus.  Those are American.  Thank you, Christopher, for sharing the Burn.

Hey, I like to cook, and eat, and rightly if possible.  So sue me.

Oh, really? What time again?

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It's 4:00 and all is well.  I am feeling just a bit better.  No real reason to it.  Why does it rain, why does the sun seem warmer this sunny day than that, with all else seeming equal?  Because.  I think they wrote a song, repeating that word often.  I can't remember if they tried to answer or if it was just saying.  Hmm, was it in Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang?  I can't help the shows they made for my age group as a child anymore than you can.  It was one of those shows.  Not looking it up, now, yet, maybe ever.  I am quite sure I won't end up happy with it.  Most things from childhood seem, to me, best to remain in childhood.  At least secular things.  There are exceptions, I just don't think that would be one of them.

I am hoping to get to cleaning today.  Trash, a shower, dishes, and maybe lining up laundry.  Perhaps doing laundry.  I don't feel like it.  I am not sure I am able.  None of which matters.  Now that I can see the need, have the want, and am aware, I will put my best foot forward on these things.  I may need a nap at around 8:00 or 9:00 though.  I'll know more later.  Ah, I need to reload my medicines into the two-week dispenser.  I've mostly been taking them, the ones I had.  Potassium was out, at least.  Back on the pill-gang.  :p

Enjoy your weekend.  Good morning and day.

Burger and cabbage.

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That is simple, but really good.  Spice it as you wish.  I like a bit of italian, garlic, red pepper flecks, and black pepper.  When I tire of that I may try allspice, cinnamon, ginger, and a different heat source.  Yeah.  I added a few mushrooms this time.  Good enough.  I'll have a salad in a bit.  Loving that ranch.  Nothing beats homemade glop!  Even if I have to use the packaged dressing mix, the rest is truly right.

I keep thinking Saturday is Sunday.  I get the rest of the days in the week pretty much right (something new, only the last few years really).  Reliably tracking the day, and generally date, is... nice.  You have no idea what it is like to ghost through life unable to know these things, to keep them functionally active in mind and memory.  Yeah, I really do enjoy the new me.  What is impressive though?  In spite of truly being far more dead than alive?  Most people didn't know.  That is either high praise for me or very low praise for most people, in several ways... those who can't tell the difference and/or that others who are healthy are no different.

I'll try to get back to things.  I don't seem to need extra sleep.  Though even getting the rest my body seems happy with I don't seem to be able to be all that functional.  I'll keep working on it.  I'll make an attempt to punch out of the hole I am in.

Ah, Gabbers aren't bad.  I was just talking off my exhausted head, and using worst examples.  Some aren't good at playing the 300 or less phrase game.  Some are out of their gords.  Some are lost, afraid, crazy.  And then you have those that are there for some sort of faux love.  Bleh.  Can't even tell, truly, who is who.  But most do just fine.  I... just get grumpy when tired sometimes.  Thing is, it really isn't a chat at a local coffee house, old school or hipster.  Some of them could be computers.  Heck, I might be a... wait.  Anyway...  It's an interesting place.  Good for news, titters and chuckles, a bit of banter and maybe some pseudo-flirts.  Just.... don't expect it to be your life.  Not even a guy like me.  Just... apologizing, a bit.

Later.