.
.
I was wondering why morning wake times, and some bedtimes, were becoming blurry again. Ah-ha! I added an half hour to the alarm, so when it went of this morning, at 5:00, it was actually 4:30. That and internet time and the nuclear based broadcast time remain an quarter hour off from each other. I am still not sure which one people go by, though I am guessing the nuclear time... as that is what my phone shows. I guess MS, or the internet generally, or whatever, has become irrelevant enough that the time they show simply doesn't matter. Though, it may be because of federal crap... if they want to "adjust" any news that gets out, or scrap the interwebs to hide a major event, that gives them time on top of time to scrub things. Is it everybody else, or just my machine... and a few others? That would be telling.
I am feeling better, just not more energetic. It could be worse, a lot worse. It could sure be better too. At least, now, I realize, sometimes... without great need... all my attempts to push through will be for naught. The people who are highly successful do no better. They just learn how to have someone else, in teams, do almost everything, and they plan. They learn to depend on other people almost completely... which means they are always at great risk. It is cutting edge. Further, beside failure, how often they hit the ball and that sooner or later leads to a score on the board, is still rare. But with all else handled by others, they spend their time hitting the ball... to the exclusion of all else. Trust me, I do understand. I don't think most do.
What gets lost in the chase for success? Everything. If family gets in the way, it gets moved aside. If morals or ethics gets in the way, those are set aside. If anyone one or anything, from friends and mentors to nations, even rightly, attempt to interfere, as much as can be done, these things are sidestepped, blindsided, and taken down or out. There was a time where I not only knew, but did so. Not to the elite level, or for long, but... Beside the losses accrued, it was this realization that, on top of else, ended me. You really can have anything you want, you just have to be willing to take it. Most people are sheep, are meek, won't see it coming. If you want it, you can't even blink before pulling the trigger... literally or figuratively.
What is up with the news and blogging? It is just politics, 24/7. Not interested. Then again, those news bits that seem unrelated? Those have always been about trying to get you to rethink good honest notions. Feel sorry for them? Hate your own (if you are white)? On it goes. It isn't new. But there have been times when news offered some actual content. It's dead, on both sides, at this point. So? So I think I'll blog, at least until I am forced out, and read more books and game. The internet itself is, now, just a political organ, and of globalists as it has been handed over. If I end up going on the road, blogging will be left behind, most likely.
On to reading. Or gaming? Later.
Friday, January 20, 2017
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Not much, at least yet?
.
.
I did take a nap. I don't know that it helped, though it didn't hurt. Yeah, naps are a dangerous proposition, as far as function goes. Sometimes they can wipe me out worse than if I didn't take one. The thing is, I can't always tell that ahead of time. And, what's worse, I may not have a choice. Well, that was the case in the bad old days. Things really have improved. Even so, with so many decades of scraping by, suffering, and having to deal with seeming insane exhaustion, I always... worry.
I heard scraping. As soon as I heard that, I started throwing clothes on, boots, turning on lights, and... they were gone before I had a chance. I hadn't been paying attention to whether the snow had stopped. Yeah, I had been watching it, even checked after my nap, the started gaming. It had only been an hour or maybe two. I am grateful. I suspect who did it, but once in a while it is a different neighbor or group. My mother used to lend us out, actually all of them did. I wasn't keen on it as a kid. Now, to be fair, a mom can't help. But, I think, what helps with one of the neighbors anyway, is that the dad goes out with them. Yeah, that's a good thing. I am glad my mother had us help. I didn't see it from that side then. We didn't do this much either. Still... we did our parts.
I have been eating popcorn quite often lately. I thought, at $5~$6, a container of popcorn seemed... a bit expensive. But, eating it as often as I do, and it filling a couple meals a day as a butter/fat transporter, I am surprised how long it really does last. It is very cheap. And, even if I salt it a little heavy from time to time, it is still a lot less salty that almost anything one would buy at the store. Further, now that I am checking dates, I have found that while jolly-time is fine, the corn pops smaller. Orville is better, with the larger popped corn. Still, I like them both, now, as long as they are fresh.
I'll be calling tomorrow, to find out about the mortgage. My mother will call and remind me. So I best make sure the phone is charged. Yeah, even at this point, or at least often enough, I might forget to call tomorrow without a reminder. When every day is pretty much like every other day, getting delayed in doing something can see that project send skittering into a dark nowhere. I don't know if I can do anything about the debt, or if I have a chance. They were demanding it all, at once, and immediately. I'll know more tomorrow. Even the first of the month might be doable... I just can't tell without knowing what the cost is.
Later. Maybe good night.
.
I did take a nap. I don't know that it helped, though it didn't hurt. Yeah, naps are a dangerous proposition, as far as function goes. Sometimes they can wipe me out worse than if I didn't take one. The thing is, I can't always tell that ahead of time. And, what's worse, I may not have a choice. Well, that was the case in the bad old days. Things really have improved. Even so, with so many decades of scraping by, suffering, and having to deal with seeming insane exhaustion, I always... worry.
I heard scraping. As soon as I heard that, I started throwing clothes on, boots, turning on lights, and... they were gone before I had a chance. I hadn't been paying attention to whether the snow had stopped. Yeah, I had been watching it, even checked after my nap, the started gaming. It had only been an hour or maybe two. I am grateful. I suspect who did it, but once in a while it is a different neighbor or group. My mother used to lend us out, actually all of them did. I wasn't keen on it as a kid. Now, to be fair, a mom can't help. But, I think, what helps with one of the neighbors anyway, is that the dad goes out with them. Yeah, that's a good thing. I am glad my mother had us help. I didn't see it from that side then. We didn't do this much either. Still... we did our parts.
I have been eating popcorn quite often lately. I thought, at $5~$6, a container of popcorn seemed... a bit expensive. But, eating it as often as I do, and it filling a couple meals a day as a butter/fat transporter, I am surprised how long it really does last. It is very cheap. And, even if I salt it a little heavy from time to time, it is still a lot less salty that almost anything one would buy at the store. Further, now that I am checking dates, I have found that while jolly-time is fine, the corn pops smaller. Orville is better, with the larger popped corn. Still, I like them both, now, as long as they are fresh.
I'll be calling tomorrow, to find out about the mortgage. My mother will call and remind me. So I best make sure the phone is charged. Yeah, even at this point, or at least often enough, I might forget to call tomorrow without a reminder. When every day is pretty much like every other day, getting delayed in doing something can see that project send skittering into a dark nowhere. I don't know if I can do anything about the debt, or if I have a chance. They were demanding it all, at once, and immediately. I'll know more tomorrow. Even the first of the month might be doable... I just can't tell without knowing what the cost is.
Later. Maybe good night.
A bit more snow.
.
.
It is usually snowing, but it isn't as heavy as it looked. The reports suggest one to three inches today, with only trace amounts tonight. Now, what day and night is isn't exactly clear. It doesn't look like there is much more than an inch down, so I don't want to hit it until later. I don't think a trip to town is in the works. I just don't want to push too much, and the dry cleaner might be closed by the time I removed snow and finally got into town, after whenever it stops snowing. Some days pushing on through into the evening is fine, sometimes not. Not really worth it if one of the shops might be closed.
I might take a short nap though. Then do a bit of the work on the list. Maybe, for any of it. Later.
.
It is usually snowing, but it isn't as heavy as it looked. The reports suggest one to three inches today, with only trace amounts tonight. Now, what day and night is isn't exactly clear. It doesn't look like there is much more than an inch down, so I don't want to hit it until later. I don't think a trip to town is in the works. I just don't want to push too much, and the dry cleaner might be closed by the time I removed snow and finally got into town, after whenever it stops snowing. Some days pushing on through into the evening is fine, sometimes not. Not really worth it if one of the shops might be closed.
I might take a short nap though. Then do a bit of the work on the list. Maybe, for any of it. Later.
Snowing.
.
.
I am not sure how much is supposed to fall. It seems to be falling at a solid pace. There is a solid blanket of snow down. I'd best keep an eye on things. I'm not feeling like it but I'll do it anyway. I'd like to get to town today, but don't like leaving with the worry of coming home and having to drive through an inch of snow. The tracks just turn into ice. Salt will lift those, if there is enough sun or warmth, but not too much.
My pinkie is still rather rough. Still swollen and the last quarter of the last knuckle has gone from that red speckled bloom to more of a rage purple color. It is breaking up, it isn't as solid as it was. I am surprised the signs of damage have lasted so long. The swelling went down enough so that I could clip that fingernail, just barely and only a few days ago. Some say to work over these little things. But that isn't always possible. I have been able to work around it, or through the pain. But there have been times I could not use it. Even now that comes and goes. Though using it is the best way to heal, unless your healing capacity is completely shot. My comes and goes, this was just a pretty serious crushing.
I am hoping to get mayonnaise made, then make ranch dressing. I need to figure out some other dressings. Sure, I like ranch. And I can put a vinaigrette together in a short time, but those get old. I am definitely hungry lately, but haven't been eating as I should. I mixed hamburger and ground lamb last night. I've got to tell you, I was extremely pleased with that mix. I'll have to thaw something for the next few days. I haven't been eating much, for a while, hungry or not. It just isn't happening.
Later.
.
I am not sure how much is supposed to fall. It seems to be falling at a solid pace. There is a solid blanket of snow down. I'd best keep an eye on things. I'm not feeling like it but I'll do it anyway. I'd like to get to town today, but don't like leaving with the worry of coming home and having to drive through an inch of snow. The tracks just turn into ice. Salt will lift those, if there is enough sun or warmth, but not too much.
My pinkie is still rather rough. Still swollen and the last quarter of the last knuckle has gone from that red speckled bloom to more of a rage purple color. It is breaking up, it isn't as solid as it was. I am surprised the signs of damage have lasted so long. The swelling went down enough so that I could clip that fingernail, just barely and only a few days ago. Some say to work over these little things. But that isn't always possible. I have been able to work around it, or through the pain. But there have been times I could not use it. Even now that comes and goes. Though using it is the best way to heal, unless your healing capacity is completely shot. My comes and goes, this was just a pretty serious crushing.
I am hoping to get mayonnaise made, then make ranch dressing. I need to figure out some other dressings. Sure, I like ranch. And I can put a vinaigrette together in a short time, but those get old. I am definitely hungry lately, but haven't been eating as I should. I mixed hamburger and ground lamb last night. I've got to tell you, I was extremely pleased with that mix. I'll have to thaw something for the next few days. I haven't been eating much, for a while, hungry or not. It just isn't happening.
Later.
Awake early.
.
.
Actually early? I think I crashed early yesterday evening. I never did get a nap taken. Then carrying that exhaustion through the day so that I crashed, I suppose I was going to sleep longer. It is earlier than what it has been though, waking at about 4:30... give or take, if that was a ten or eleven hour sleep. Why do I bother writing this out? I don't track these things, say, scientifically? But I like to have some idea of how my life is running. When I track it with my mind, and whether I can do that, then write it, I get some kind of handle of function, in a time local, and perhaps over time in a mid-term level. It helps me keep up and keep a clear head by forcing me to try to remember and... It's not for your consumption, this. Just notes from and to the management.
Somethings are off. But I haven't been doing right by things. Actually, while my innards are a bit off, oddly it is noticeable because they have been so good for so long! I just realized that. I certainly won't complain about what amounts to minor complaints, now that I realized how well I have been doing. Gosh, this last run, up to now, has been the most pain-free, regarding internals, I have ever known since first becoming ill! Oh my. I think my food choices, and ketosis, is the way for me! I just need to stay on it. I suspect the cinnamon rolls and milk overdose got to me. All good, it's been a very long time since I have had a treat. My keto numbers, according to the sticks, have been running between five and fifteen, even without fasting. As to fasting, I think that would do a world of good, I just can't seem to get back on that wave. I'll keep trying, especially now.
I'll keep the list from yesterday, and take a shot at what of it I can do. Shower before all but waking. Waking is simply brutal lately. I never quite reach escape velocity for getting off my bum for longer than a few minutes. It is literally as if gravity has increased for me... which just means I am weakened by something. That could be a number of things, heart, diabetes, the organs I am feeling not doing their job or overdoing it, who knows. I've been turning up the heat. That just helps me stay comfortable, it doesn't really help me become more functional. I'll keep at it, in mind if not body.
Good morning.
.
Actually early? I think I crashed early yesterday evening. I never did get a nap taken. Then carrying that exhaustion through the day so that I crashed, I suppose I was going to sleep longer. It is earlier than what it has been though, waking at about 4:30... give or take, if that was a ten or eleven hour sleep. Why do I bother writing this out? I don't track these things, say, scientifically? But I like to have some idea of how my life is running. When I track it with my mind, and whether I can do that, then write it, I get some kind of handle of function, in a time local, and perhaps over time in a mid-term level. It helps me keep up and keep a clear head by forcing me to try to remember and... It's not for your consumption, this. Just notes from and to the management.
Somethings are off. But I haven't been doing right by things. Actually, while my innards are a bit off, oddly it is noticeable because they have been so good for so long! I just realized that. I certainly won't complain about what amounts to minor complaints, now that I realized how well I have been doing. Gosh, this last run, up to now, has been the most pain-free, regarding internals, I have ever known since first becoming ill! Oh my. I think my food choices, and ketosis, is the way for me! I just need to stay on it. I suspect the cinnamon rolls and milk overdose got to me. All good, it's been a very long time since I have had a treat. My keto numbers, according to the sticks, have been running between five and fifteen, even without fasting. As to fasting, I think that would do a world of good, I just can't seem to get back on that wave. I'll keep trying, especially now.
I'll keep the list from yesterday, and take a shot at what of it I can do. Shower before all but waking. Waking is simply brutal lately. I never quite reach escape velocity for getting off my bum for longer than a few minutes. It is literally as if gravity has increased for me... which just means I am weakened by something. That could be a number of things, heart, diabetes, the organs I am feeling not doing their job or overdoing it, who knows. I've been turning up the heat. That just helps me stay comfortable, it doesn't really help me become more functional. I'll keep at it, in mind if not body.
Good morning.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
It hurts.
.
.
I offer every scintilla of shame, failure, loss, and hurt over to God. I don't do it with anger, or a form of shame, or with anything negative. I do it with the most magnificent gratitude I can honestly muster. For all the pain and all that is gone, I am thankful to have seen love, life, women, the world, and to realize there is more. I am blessed in a bath, never-ending shower, of my own tears.
.
I offer every scintilla of shame, failure, loss, and hurt over to God. I don't do it with anger, or a form of shame, or with anything negative. I do it with the most magnificent gratitude I can honestly muster. For all the pain and all that is gone, I am thankful to have seen love, life, women, the world, and to realize there is more. I am blessed in a bath, never-ending shower, of my own tears.
Cooked, baked, fried.
.
.
Call it what you will. I am zapped. Could be stress. Might be a number of things. It is unusual. Even though I have been down, this is down and then some. Double, triple, or more, down. I can barely keep my eyes open, as it has been all morning, yesterday, and for a bit before that I think. I may take a nap shortly with hope that it might help me.
I did print out a return label. And I keep the shirts that need to be picked up in my mind. Today or tomorrow, I am almost sure, I will get those tended. Much else perhaps not. A shower, first, mind you. I am toasted.
Nap time. Yeah. Later.
.
Call it what you will. I am zapped. Could be stress. Might be a number of things. It is unusual. Even though I have been down, this is down and then some. Double, triple, or more, down. I can barely keep my eyes open, as it has been all morning, yesterday, and for a bit before that I think. I may take a nap shortly with hope that it might help me.
I did print out a return label. And I keep the shirts that need to be picked up in my mind. Today or tomorrow, I am almost sure, I will get those tended. Much else perhaps not. A shower, first, mind you. I am toasted.
Nap time. Yeah. Later.
Sleeping in and on purpose.
.
.
When the world spins under the feet, sleeping in doesn't always look the same. I have been planning sleep around bedtime. I add eight hours, rounding up to include extra time, to the bedtime hour bedtime. Why use the alarm clock? Because life was spinning too fast without it. Days and nights were getting too long, and then too short, sometimes together or individually. It was annoying. And the alarm is working.
As mentioned, I slept in a bit this morning. The alarm was set for 4:00, or was it 5:00? I woke just before it, naturally, but knew I wasn't ready to wake. I just added another hour and rolled back in. Now, I ended up waking, again, before the alarm. Still, I slept in. That is about the best extra sleep I have gotten in my life. Not so much extra that I was out of sorts, not too little or after being battered by an alarm clock, and not so late I am too late for the day. Still a bit off, but I'm a bit under pressure.
The goal is a shower, hitting some of the dishes, taking some things back in for a return, picking up shirts from the dry cleaner, and tending the laundry that is finished. If that all goes well, digging more into dishes and laundry. As soon as laundry and dishes are caught up, or while doing that, cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom, then living room, just up to where they were, then starting in on the main bedroom again. Yes, that has been the plan for some time. I haven't, to date, since getting to that point initially, done more than do enough dishes and laundry to keep up a bit. And, so, there it remains. I can hope to finish these things in this week or next and be back to the main bedroom by the end of this week or into the next. I would get nowhere without goals, plus trying to keep those in my mind even while I fail often. Failure isn't an option, it's a guarantee. Now what are you going to do about it?
Later.
.
When the world spins under the feet, sleeping in doesn't always look the same. I have been planning sleep around bedtime. I add eight hours, rounding up to include extra time, to the bedtime hour bedtime. Why use the alarm clock? Because life was spinning too fast without it. Days and nights were getting too long, and then too short, sometimes together or individually. It was annoying. And the alarm is working.
As mentioned, I slept in a bit this morning. The alarm was set for 4:00, or was it 5:00? I woke just before it, naturally, but knew I wasn't ready to wake. I just added another hour and rolled back in. Now, I ended up waking, again, before the alarm. Still, I slept in. That is about the best extra sleep I have gotten in my life. Not so much extra that I was out of sorts, not too little or after being battered by an alarm clock, and not so late I am too late for the day. Still a bit off, but I'm a bit under pressure.
The goal is a shower, hitting some of the dishes, taking some things back in for a return, picking up shirts from the dry cleaner, and tending the laundry that is finished. If that all goes well, digging more into dishes and laundry. As soon as laundry and dishes are caught up, or while doing that, cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom, then living room, just up to where they were, then starting in on the main bedroom again. Yes, that has been the plan for some time. I haven't, to date, since getting to that point initially, done more than do enough dishes and laundry to keep up a bit. And, so, there it remains. I can hope to finish these things in this week or next and be back to the main bedroom by the end of this week or into the next. I would get nowhere without goals, plus trying to keep those in my mind even while I fail often. Failure isn't an option, it's a guarantee. Now what are you going to do about it?
Later.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Oh well, so much for an easier loan.
.
.
My brother called back. He started telling me about all these ways he had gotten a loan before. Cool. He has a wife who works, other collateral, he can do that. I'm not going to hate on him. Times are tight, and dealing with a wife can be too much. I don't think there is time, or a way, to get a loan... or potentially. He wasn't my first call. If I can't, somehow, swing it, that's that.
I am not sure how fast they move on homes, but the company seems extremely motivated. So... a month, a few months? Yeah. Paying back is completely in their hands and they seemed disinterested in discussing anything. It looks like they are pushing to close this out.
I hung up on him. I'm honestly not angry. I will put him on the no-call list, or just ignore, until I have dealt with this, one way or the other. That's just how it goes. The two people I know who might have had that option have said no. It's good to know how one stands in the world though. It might not be pleasing but it's... the way it is.
.
My brother called back. He started telling me about all these ways he had gotten a loan before. Cool. He has a wife who works, other collateral, he can do that. I'm not going to hate on him. Times are tight, and dealing with a wife can be too much. I don't think there is time, or a way, to get a loan... or potentially. He wasn't my first call. If I can't, somehow, swing it, that's that.
I am not sure how fast they move on homes, but the company seems extremely motivated. So... a month, a few months? Yeah. Paying back is completely in their hands and they seemed disinterested in discussing anything. It looks like they are pushing to close this out.
I hung up on him. I'm honestly not angry. I will put him on the no-call list, or just ignore, until I have dealt with this, one way or the other. That's just how it goes. The two people I know who might have had that option have said no. It's good to know how one stands in the world though. It might not be pleasing but it's... the way it is.
No information.
.
.
I called the banker. No information from the lawyer on those costs. They suggested I call Friday. So, I called my mother back, let her know to call me Friday. It's as good as I can do. The smart phone calendar, and another calendar app which had a high rating, have proven useless. Updates wipe them, at least on my phone, so I randomly lose data. Useless. As well, I don't always here the alarm, and the ones I have don't repeat, or keep a message up, or those get wiped. I suppose you have to have one or more backup devices, whether laptop, desktop, both, and possibly more? So, if it's important, I have to depend on people.
I then called my brother, to let him know about my problem, and to see if he might be able to help. Without an idea of how much I might need to borrow, he can't say. And there is a limit on how much I would ask. If it's too much I simply have to let it go. That might honestly be the goal. Strip mine the bit I have in it, leave the debt to the feds, and move on to the next sucker. He doesn't know. He'll have to talk to his wife. I may end up homeless, which I think this admin is all for.
Now, my brother had advise for me. He likes the company he has his mortgage through. Me? I didn't like the sound of it. It sounds like they call him with offers and "advice", and a bit more than I want. I want it set up, then to just be left the hell alone. I don't want to pay extra when it suits some company, nor do I want renegotiation ever so often. Not interested. However, if I can save things, I will look for a fixed, perhaps fifteen year, loan. He has worked with this company, and suggested he had problems with it too. He is a retired and a disabled vet too. Still, if his company has as good of an offer as others, and can keep their offers to themselves, I'd consider them. Don't call me unless there is a problem. Not interested. Gah!
Only some are welcome, if they might be very welcome. Now, if I must go, I will. It's earlier than I hoped, if I must. But... that is how it works. I... will do what I must.
.
I called the banker. No information from the lawyer on those costs. They suggested I call Friday. So, I called my mother back, let her know to call me Friday. It's as good as I can do. The smart phone calendar, and another calendar app which had a high rating, have proven useless. Updates wipe them, at least on my phone, so I randomly lose data. Useless. As well, I don't always here the alarm, and the ones I have don't repeat, or keep a message up, or those get wiped. I suppose you have to have one or more backup devices, whether laptop, desktop, both, and possibly more? So, if it's important, I have to depend on people.
I then called my brother, to let him know about my problem, and to see if he might be able to help. Without an idea of how much I might need to borrow, he can't say. And there is a limit on how much I would ask. If it's too much I simply have to let it go. That might honestly be the goal. Strip mine the bit I have in it, leave the debt to the feds, and move on to the next sucker. He doesn't know. He'll have to talk to his wife. I may end up homeless, which I think this admin is all for.
Now, my brother had advise for me. He likes the company he has his mortgage through. Me? I didn't like the sound of it. It sounds like they call him with offers and "advice", and a bit more than I want. I want it set up, then to just be left the hell alone. I don't want to pay extra when it suits some company, nor do I want renegotiation ever so often. Not interested. However, if I can save things, I will look for a fixed, perhaps fifteen year, loan. He has worked with this company, and suggested he had problems with it too. He is a retired and a disabled vet too. Still, if his company has as good of an offer as others, and can keep their offers to themselves, I'd consider them. Don't call me unless there is a problem. Not interested. Gah!
Only some are welcome, if they might be very welcome. Now, if I must go, I will. It's earlier than I hoped, if I must. But... that is how it works. I... will do what I must.
Well?
.
.
I didn't get down until a bit later. Meaning and eight hour, rounded up, sleep time would see me awake at 7:00... 22:30 (ish) down? Yeah. I have been setting the alarm, trying to capture day again, or more. I woke at 5:30, really had to think about it, finally decided I would wake. I am not running well, or on all eight cylinders, but well enough. I was expecting a call, if I couldn't be sure when. It arrived.
Today is the day to call the mortgage company about the costs. And, then, perhaps call my brother for a small loan. I'm not sure he will, or can, offer it. On the good side, I know I am doing well enough that paying it back won't be an issue. Depending on how much it will take some time. But this isn't a gift, or such. Well and truly a loan, and with interest. He probably won't accept interest. And I will accept that. But I will expect him and them to accept a fee or at least a small gift, such as fruit for a few months, or such. Gratitude. Assuming he can offer the loan, of course.
I'll make that call in two hours, or so. Hopefully early enough to call him after, during a time he is usually more available. I'll ask for next month off, to figure out my finances... then see what I can afford, then just send a placket of checks to pay it off over some run of time. As mentioned, I am lousy about paying things in a timely fashion in any other way, save auto-pay. Which reminds me, I need to get utilities caught up. Bleh. It looks like the checks for that have run their course and I'm becoming past due. Bleh. Hate that.
I am hoping to do those dishes which have been soaking, and another pan actually. At least run them through and clean them, then either dry and put them up or take a shower than put them back in for more soaking... or add hod sudsy and put them (or which might need it) onto the stove top to heat clean a bit. And, as mentioned, a shower. Perhaps another trip to town... I have a return to make, and would like to buy a few more things for one last jab at the kitchen drain. A new p-trap section and maybe something to act as shims, plus maybe some sort of glue, for the rubber connector. Both seem to be where the leaks are. Well, and a quick look for a few things at another store... or not.
I'll keep at it. If I can, elsewise in the day, I wish to finish the laundry that is done. I just won't do more laundry until I have all that which is already clean figured out. I may need to add a damp towel back to some things, or just suffer through wrinkled clothes until next time. Yeah, that last I believe. Oh, and while in town, I need to pick up the shirts I had pressed! Gah! Lost track. Anyway... I just want to catch up, then figure some things out and begin again. I'm not so fare behind that it'll be too much work to kick it back in gear. All good.
Good morning, and day. *tips hat*
.
I didn't get down until a bit later. Meaning and eight hour, rounded up, sleep time would see me awake at 7:00... 22:30 (ish) down? Yeah. I have been setting the alarm, trying to capture day again, or more. I woke at 5:30, really had to think about it, finally decided I would wake. I am not running well, or on all eight cylinders, but well enough. I was expecting a call, if I couldn't be sure when. It arrived.
Today is the day to call the mortgage company about the costs. And, then, perhaps call my brother for a small loan. I'm not sure he will, or can, offer it. On the good side, I know I am doing well enough that paying it back won't be an issue. Depending on how much it will take some time. But this isn't a gift, or such. Well and truly a loan, and with interest. He probably won't accept interest. And I will accept that. But I will expect him and them to accept a fee or at least a small gift, such as fruit for a few months, or such. Gratitude. Assuming he can offer the loan, of course.
I'll make that call in two hours, or so. Hopefully early enough to call him after, during a time he is usually more available. I'll ask for next month off, to figure out my finances... then see what I can afford, then just send a placket of checks to pay it off over some run of time. As mentioned, I am lousy about paying things in a timely fashion in any other way, save auto-pay. Which reminds me, I need to get utilities caught up. Bleh. It looks like the checks for that have run their course and I'm becoming past due. Bleh. Hate that.
I am hoping to do those dishes which have been soaking, and another pan actually. At least run them through and clean them, then either dry and put them up or take a shower than put them back in for more soaking... or add hod sudsy and put them (or which might need it) onto the stove top to heat clean a bit. And, as mentioned, a shower. Perhaps another trip to town... I have a return to make, and would like to buy a few more things for one last jab at the kitchen drain. A new p-trap section and maybe something to act as shims, plus maybe some sort of glue, for the rubber connector. Both seem to be where the leaks are. Well, and a quick look for a few things at another store... or not.
I'll keep at it. If I can, elsewise in the day, I wish to finish the laundry that is done. I just won't do more laundry until I have all that which is already clean figured out. I may need to add a damp towel back to some things, or just suffer through wrinkled clothes until next time. Yeah, that last I believe. Oh, and while in town, I need to pick up the shirts I had pressed! Gah! Lost track. Anyway... I just want to catch up, then figure some things out and begin again. I'm not so fare behind that it'll be too much work to kick it back in gear. All good.
Good morning, and day. *tips hat*
Monday, January 16, 2017
Just look in and get a punch on the nose?
.
.
Not literally, or this time. Not sure that ever happened literally, but I lost years of memory, and even the majority good years, I can't remember every bad thing that happened. No, this is poetry. I ended up, rather inexpensively, with W. Witman's, Emily Dickinson's, and Poe's complete poetry, plus a collection (of unknown completeness) by T. Roethke. I know some bits of all the others, aside from the latter. So... even if I am not going to dig, I thought I'd look at a few of his. I am stuck, so far, on the first one. A punch to the chops, if more from back when, while I was still underwater trying to tread without His graces.
A punch on the nose, the title might as well read, by Theodore Roethke. Anyway, I thought I'd recount it here. Giving credit where it is due.
Just of the past? It covers a lot of the here and now. There is a mix and match that just unnerved. I don't, honestly, care for the poem, artistically. But, then, I don't like poetry. *grins* However...
Well, good night.
Bastards and the sisterhood are sneaking up on me.
.
Not literally, or this time. Not sure that ever happened literally, but I lost years of memory, and even the majority good years, I can't remember every bad thing that happened. No, this is poetry. I ended up, rather inexpensively, with W. Witman's, Emily Dickinson's, and Poe's complete poetry, plus a collection (of unknown completeness) by T. Roethke. I know some bits of all the others, aside from the latter. So... even if I am not going to dig, I thought I'd look at a few of his. I am stuck, so far, on the first one. A punch to the chops, if more from back when, while I was still underwater trying to tread without His graces.
A punch on the nose, the title might as well read, by Theodore Roethke. Anyway, I thought I'd recount it here. Giving credit where it is due.
Open House
My secrets cry aloud.
I have no need for tongue.
My heart keeps open house,
My doors are widely swung.
An epic of the eyes
My love, with no disguise.
My truths are all foreknown,
This anguish self-revealed.
I'm naked to the bone,
With nakedness my shield.
Myself is what I wear,
I keep the spirit spare.
The anger will endure,
The deed will speak the truth
In language strict and pure.
I stop the lying mouth:
Rage warps my clearest cry
To witless agony.
Just of the past? It covers a lot of the here and now. There is a mix and match that just unnerved. I don't, honestly, care for the poem, artistically. But, then, I don't like poetry. *grins* However...
Well, good night.
Bastards and the sisterhood are sneaking up on me.
Do you ever get the feeling...
.
.
It's like realizing you are being watched, only more. Being watched is one thing, being watched with intent is another. Is there one being put in the tube for me, is it silver, if both, is the intent an end or a beginning? I do not know, not for sure, I just realize that some bullets merely... enslave. I can't believe that. Then again, when you show signs and have a certain set of gifts, a new potential can open. Terrifying, all of it, and yet not at all. The terrifying part is getting from a to c. Or even just to point a in order to truly contemplate then moving to point b, then c.
.
It's like realizing you are being watched, only more. Being watched is one thing, being watched with intent is another. Is there one being put in the tube for me, is it silver, if both, is the intent an end or a beginning? I do not know, not for sure, I just realize that some bullets merely... enslave. I can't believe that. Then again, when you show signs and have a certain set of gifts, a new potential can open. Terrifying, all of it, and yet not at all. The terrifying part is getting from a to c. Or even just to point a in order to truly contemplate then moving to point b, then c.
More than anticipated.
.
.
Not all that I had hoped, or what I had thought. The trash went out. There wasn't that much but it needed to go. *cough* Yeah. Then a trip to the post office. I just decided to make it to town today. I've been missing milk and cream, butter was low, and I haven't had veggies in a long while, or fresh mayo or salad dressings. Well, and it was treat day.
I ended up hitting three stores. The first was the bread store. No sugar, real sourdough bread. I want to try it, while monitoring blood sugar. It would be nice to, from time to time, have some bread. I'm just not up, quite yet, to working it. Store bought, outright, doesn't work. To be honest I really don't trust the labels anymore. I was always a bit unsure, but now I just don't believe what is written. Our government, on this and much else, has become a corrupted enemy to us. There are shops that make bread though, locally, which I can at least offer the benefit of the doubt.
While at the bread store I ordered a sandwich. Along with the loaf to go, I also bought two cinnamon rolls. If I am going to go wrong, I'll go wrong knowingly, up front, and honestly. It's been a long time since I have had a treat. Too long. Oh, my, are these good.
Next, a trip to one of the health food stores. I don't buy organic, but I do like their standard rices and other grains, for the rare times I consume that. Rice and oats, brown and whole(ish). Oh, and I am trying one of their xylitol mouth washes. It's a bit pricey, but maybe that is typical. I didn't look at the price last time I bought, if another brand. While I was at that spot, since my usual hair cutting spot was next door, I decided to get just a bit of a cut. My regular gal is gone. I am trying a new woman. I've set up an appointment for next month. Ugh, horrible at that, but I'll do my best. Would like to get the shrubbery back into just a bit of a tidier bundle.
Finally, to my regular grocery store. Milk, cream, butter, and more. Salad making, fresh eggs for mayo and dressing, green onions and radishes to slice in a salad or two. Oh, well, and I'll boil more eggs to add to a salad from time to time. I sure miss milk. Haven't had it for... months? Oh my. Or close. And it's been rather irregular even then.
Oh, and before I went, I put some of the pans that had been left go far too long to soak, after I emptied them with the trash today. Ackh! I missed getting the big soup pot emptied. I'll do that and get that out soon. Very soon. I'll bet that is brutal on the nose. Though, being in the fridge, maybe not as bad. I'll find out soon enough. With the lid, the smell hasn't gotten into the fridge yet. Yeah, I can smell. But heavy lids hid much. When I got home, I set them to a fresh soak. Yeah. Anyway. Later.
.
Not all that I had hoped, or what I had thought. The trash went out. There wasn't that much but it needed to go. *cough* Yeah. Then a trip to the post office. I just decided to make it to town today. I've been missing milk and cream, butter was low, and I haven't had veggies in a long while, or fresh mayo or salad dressings. Well, and it was treat day.
I ended up hitting three stores. The first was the bread store. No sugar, real sourdough bread. I want to try it, while monitoring blood sugar. It would be nice to, from time to time, have some bread. I'm just not up, quite yet, to working it. Store bought, outright, doesn't work. To be honest I really don't trust the labels anymore. I was always a bit unsure, but now I just don't believe what is written. Our government, on this and much else, has become a corrupted enemy to us. There are shops that make bread though, locally, which I can at least offer the benefit of the doubt.
While at the bread store I ordered a sandwich. Along with the loaf to go, I also bought two cinnamon rolls. If I am going to go wrong, I'll go wrong knowingly, up front, and honestly. It's been a long time since I have had a treat. Too long. Oh, my, are these good.
Next, a trip to one of the health food stores. I don't buy organic, but I do like their standard rices and other grains, for the rare times I consume that. Rice and oats, brown and whole(ish). Oh, and I am trying one of their xylitol mouth washes. It's a bit pricey, but maybe that is typical. I didn't look at the price last time I bought, if another brand. While I was at that spot, since my usual hair cutting spot was next door, I decided to get just a bit of a cut. My regular gal is gone. I am trying a new woman. I've set up an appointment for next month. Ugh, horrible at that, but I'll do my best. Would like to get the shrubbery back into just a bit of a tidier bundle.
Finally, to my regular grocery store. Milk, cream, butter, and more. Salad making, fresh eggs for mayo and dressing, green onions and radishes to slice in a salad or two. Oh, well, and I'll boil more eggs to add to a salad from time to time. I sure miss milk. Haven't had it for... months? Oh my. Or close. And it's been rather irregular even then.
Oh, and before I went, I put some of the pans that had been left go far too long to soak, after I emptied them with the trash today. Ackh! I missed getting the big soup pot emptied. I'll do that and get that out soon. Very soon. I'll bet that is brutal on the nose. Though, being in the fridge, maybe not as bad. I'll find out soon enough. With the lid, the smell hasn't gotten into the fridge yet. Yeah, I can smell. But heavy lids hid much. When I got home, I set them to a fresh soak. Yeah. Anyway. Later.
Not much done yesterday.
.
.
A shower and a thorough cleaning of the toilet summed up the day. Even with the furnace jacked, it feels cold. I suspect it has less to do with the home than it has to do with me. I have been testing blood sugar ever so occasionally. It has been in the 220~240 range every time I have tested. I haven't been able to fast, not multi-day. However, this last effort was better, for whatever that means. And my last blood sugar at 175 seemed to show that some effort did something. That also may be why I am feeling so cool.
This week I am going to begin making an attempt at fasting through the day, eating only an evening, if extended meal. Eating as necessary, to get the thing going, is easily made up for by having extended periods of fasting. I have never gained weight, somehow, even when eating in excess in that four hour meal period and as I wish. Further, that doesn't last and my appetite eventually falls back into line. Then weight loss rockets... at least to a point. After that, if I keep up, while I may not lose weight, I do lose size/volume. I am still on the crux between 40's and 38's. I'd like to push that down to 36 waists, then keep it going until... until it's done. Then begin exercising and hiking a bit more in earnest. Trying to do much with this much extra is a bit of a losing battle. Although I'd like to hit snowshoeing regularly, at least here abouts... at least when I can.
My pinky is actually starting to hurt. Sometimes quite a lot. Not that it matters, at this point, one way or another. I still shovel, or do other work. I just am surprised it hurts now but not before. The tip of that pinky is at least as big as my ring finger tip, which for me is still quite large. I have no idea when that is going to heal. But it wasn't just a minor thing, I guess. I'm just glad I didn't lose it, or the fingernail.
I need to get the trash collected, and out. The cat litter is good. I will top it off at the end of the month, which should double down it's life. I like to be as frugal as possible, but not beyond some point. Frugality, however, often requires a bit of work. The dollar or the back, that seems to be the choice. After that, I will put dishes to soak, and consider laundry... unless another shower or bath is in order. My feet are really coming back around. Another month like this and there may be no telling that they had ever nearly brought me to death. Just a dry patch on top, where the skin had been stretched by water weight remains to possibly show. Hmm, haven't even been taking medicine, not sure why I'm not having water retention problems now... well... maybe an idea.
Later.
.
A shower and a thorough cleaning of the toilet summed up the day. Even with the furnace jacked, it feels cold. I suspect it has less to do with the home than it has to do with me. I have been testing blood sugar ever so occasionally. It has been in the 220~240 range every time I have tested. I haven't been able to fast, not multi-day. However, this last effort was better, for whatever that means. And my last blood sugar at 175 seemed to show that some effort did something. That also may be why I am feeling so cool.
This week I am going to begin making an attempt at fasting through the day, eating only an evening, if extended meal. Eating as necessary, to get the thing going, is easily made up for by having extended periods of fasting. I have never gained weight, somehow, even when eating in excess in that four hour meal period and as I wish. Further, that doesn't last and my appetite eventually falls back into line. Then weight loss rockets... at least to a point. After that, if I keep up, while I may not lose weight, I do lose size/volume. I am still on the crux between 40's and 38's. I'd like to push that down to 36 waists, then keep it going until... until it's done. Then begin exercising and hiking a bit more in earnest. Trying to do much with this much extra is a bit of a losing battle. Although I'd like to hit snowshoeing regularly, at least here abouts... at least when I can.
My pinky is actually starting to hurt. Sometimes quite a lot. Not that it matters, at this point, one way or another. I still shovel, or do other work. I just am surprised it hurts now but not before. The tip of that pinky is at least as big as my ring finger tip, which for me is still quite large. I have no idea when that is going to heal. But it wasn't just a minor thing, I guess. I'm just glad I didn't lose it, or the fingernail.
I need to get the trash collected, and out. The cat litter is good. I will top it off at the end of the month, which should double down it's life. I like to be as frugal as possible, but not beyond some point. Frugality, however, often requires a bit of work. The dollar or the back, that seems to be the choice. After that, I will put dishes to soak, and consider laundry... unless another shower or bath is in order. My feet are really coming back around. Another month like this and there may be no telling that they had ever nearly brought me to death. Just a dry patch on top, where the skin had been stretched by water weight remains to possibly show. Hmm, haven't even been taking medicine, not sure why I'm not having water retention problems now... well... maybe an idea.
Later.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Oh, right.
.
.
I've been awake for nearing two hours. I just... when you don't have the web for a bit there is some making up to do. Although the half dozen or so topics or objects I considered have not been what is holding me up. I haven't, I don't think, even hit one of them. I'll have to write them down when I remember them, if I remember them. I have mostly just been catching up on gab, trying to catch up on blogs, checking the news, and listening to music again.
I've got to admit, while I did well in holding off regarding the internet, it was more trouble than I thought. That's not cool. I quit tobacco, not for the health reasons (which I believe are probably erroneous), but because of the seeming need for an obvious non-necessity. The internet is the same. There is nothing on the internet that is of any real use to me in my human condition. It is what socializing has fallen to, it is where the want of information is seemingly fulfilled (as obviously questionable as that is) - (and more, even if true, getting information is separating us from figuring it out, testing it, etc... the only way to more sure information).
On the other hand, at least for me, there isn't always a lot more I can do. Is it fair? Is it right? It, sometimes, doesn't matter. It is what it is. Anyway, yeah... I've been up since 2:00, just drooling over the net access, and using it to a degree.
Today? Hmm... trash will go out. It's not recycling this month. I have been showering or bathing daily lately, and hope to get another one in. Yeah, I do enjoy it when I can. Then, maybe, back to tending laundry, perhaps a load of dishes to be set up as well, and worked through the day. Not much else, if even all that. Though I think so. Yes, God's day. But God has to understand I don't have a lot of options as to when I can, or should, rest or work. I either work when I can or I slide deeper into a life I believe He intended even less than working on a Sunday. And, so, it will be... if I can.
Good morning and day. Later.
.
I've been awake for nearing two hours. I just... when you don't have the web for a bit there is some making up to do. Although the half dozen or so topics or objects I considered have not been what is holding me up. I haven't, I don't think, even hit one of them. I'll have to write them down when I remember them, if I remember them. I have mostly just been catching up on gab, trying to catch up on blogs, checking the news, and listening to music again.
I've got to admit, while I did well in holding off regarding the internet, it was more trouble than I thought. That's not cool. I quit tobacco, not for the health reasons (which I believe are probably erroneous), but because of the seeming need for an obvious non-necessity. The internet is the same. There is nothing on the internet that is of any real use to me in my human condition. It is what socializing has fallen to, it is where the want of information is seemingly fulfilled (as obviously questionable as that is) - (and more, even if true, getting information is separating us from figuring it out, testing it, etc... the only way to more sure information).
On the other hand, at least for me, there isn't always a lot more I can do. Is it fair? Is it right? It, sometimes, doesn't matter. It is what it is. Anyway, yeah... I've been up since 2:00, just drooling over the net access, and using it to a degree.
Today? Hmm... trash will go out. It's not recycling this month. I have been showering or bathing daily lately, and hope to get another one in. Yeah, I do enjoy it when I can. Then, maybe, back to tending laundry, perhaps a load of dishes to be set up as well, and worked through the day. Not much else, if even all that. Though I think so. Yes, God's day. But God has to understand I don't have a lot of options as to when I can, or should, rest or work. I either work when I can or I slide deeper into a life I believe He intended even less than working on a Sunday. And, so, it will be... if I can.
Good morning and day. Later.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Nearly bedtime.
.
.
Nothing done. I worked a bit into daylight. I just, still, don't have much to give. I have been cranking the furnace when I wake, it just isn't enough. Maybe a week of shaking the chills, and rest, will help. Though, perhaps, fasting isn't going to help. Yeah, there are those things. I don't think fasting is the biggest problem though. I feel just as lethargic as I have while eating a couple meals a day.
It is good to have the internet back. I missed logging some of my notions regarding what of Dante, or the haiku masters, I read. Or other things, in general or specific about life, love, or else. I often miss opportunities. As a photographer can't always have his camera, or the right light, or whatever else, so a writer can't always capture, or frame, a thought or sight or sense of another sort. Still, without the possibility, tools, that potential sinks to zero. A hard thing for one who wishes to express.
Oh, this is actually from quite some time back. When I found the second song (played first in this post), I brought it right in. Though, too, for me? The second (played first) reminded me directly of the first song (played last). No, I... don't think most would catch it, unless it was pointed out. Maybe not then? Come on, comment. Sheesh! It's a matter of perspective, and sensory range, that most simply aren't familiar regarding. You can't see the dark in the light, or the light in the dark. You truly, while living in a fallen world, have no idea how deep that rabbit hole goes, either way. Enjoy or not.
.
Nothing done. I worked a bit into daylight. I just, still, don't have much to give. I have been cranking the furnace when I wake, it just isn't enough. Maybe a week of shaking the chills, and rest, will help. Though, perhaps, fasting isn't going to help. Yeah, there are those things. I don't think fasting is the biggest problem though. I feel just as lethargic as I have while eating a couple meals a day.
It is good to have the internet back. I missed logging some of my notions regarding what of Dante, or the haiku masters, I read. Or other things, in general or specific about life, love, or else. I often miss opportunities. As a photographer can't always have his camera, or the right light, or whatever else, so a writer can't always capture, or frame, a thought or sight or sense of another sort. Still, without the possibility, tools, that potential sinks to zero. A hard thing for one who wishes to express.
Oh, this is actually from quite some time back. When I found the second song (played first in this post), I brought it right in. Though, too, for me? The second (played first) reminded me directly of the first song (played last). No, I... don't think most would catch it, unless it was pointed out. Maybe not then? Come on, comment. Sheesh! It's a matter of perspective, and sensory range, that most simply aren't familiar regarding. You can't see the dark in the light, or the light in the dark. You truly, while living in a fallen world, have no idea how deep that rabbit hole goes, either way. Enjoy or not.
For those who watch, they saw.
.
.
For those of you who know not my... tricks... there was nothing. Still, the dreams continue. She walks with me, haunts me, terrifies me. As monstrous as I am, is she terrible. And, yet, in that, in her, in us, is the only place hope for a temporal manifestation of God's will, a place where heaven may be seen, and the function of the first bit of God's will to which man was introduced, be manifest. Truly frightening. Not without recompense.
She has been haunting my dreams, waking both a darkness and a goodness. For man, and others called to His will and grace, can do no more good than evil in this fallen place. And, yet, from the combined truth, with hope, in faith, by charity, the sum will become greater than their parts. Both the function, her flesh, my want, our will, into another life. Impossible. She might be my impossible girl.
.
For those of you who know not my... tricks... there was nothing. Still, the dreams continue. She walks with me, haunts me, terrifies me. As monstrous as I am, is she terrible. And, yet, in that, in her, in us, is the only place hope for a temporal manifestation of God's will, a place where heaven may be seen, and the function of the first bit of God's will to which man was introduced, be manifest. Truly frightening. Not without recompense.
She has been haunting my dreams, waking both a darkness and a goodness. For man, and others called to His will and grace, can do no more good than evil in this fallen place. And, yet, from the combined truth, with hope, in faith, by charity, the sum will become greater than their parts. Both the function, her flesh, my want, our will, into another life. Impossible. She might be my impossible girl.
While kicking around in the early dark and cold...
.
.
I thought I'd do a bit of research on poets. After writing that last post, I was hoping I hadn't been wrong about Whitman being an American poet. Yeah, it happens. Anyway, at least I wasn't wrong on that. Frost I was much more secure with, and my doubts about Whitman were weak and after the fact. Anyway, a preliminary list was found that seems to hold some promise.
1 Whitman
2 Roethke
3 Stevens
4 Frost
5 Dickinson
6 Poe
7 R. Lowell
8 Snodgrass
9 Pound
10 Sandburg
I visited amazon, and, surprisingly, found the complete works of some of these, in kindle, for free. Others, ones I was totally unfamiliar with, wanted as much as $45 per, and not even complete, collections. Yeah... no. Some were inexpensive, as little as $.99. I gobbled up a number of them. A few I could only find in paperback. If they were inexpensive enough, I added them to my basket for some future time. The only one I might pull the plug on, and spend a bit more for a complete, and hardcover, would be Poe. We go wayyyyy back. I was reading his works before he was writing them, in a weird and Doomish way. *wink*
Now, when will I begin? I can't say. I am about smack in the middle of the epics of Dante, about a third the way through Haiku (or such), and I am what and who I am. Time isn't quite what it seems, which... well... don't you worry. Still, in time, I will begin. I will probably go with one or two of the bigger names (to my ears)... Frost, Dickens, and Whitman would be the top candidates. While, Poe, of course... I have covered Poe so well that... And, yet, he is definitely added back into the queue.
Why? Edumacation, lads and lasses, edumacation. This is one area I... never allowed myself to explore, save in an offhand way with Poe (horror) and Shakespeare (if only personally and privately). I had my reasons. I had much to sort. I could not be seen as... more... problematic than I already was. Secrets protect us, secrets keep us safe. Especially when so small. Now I can finish my education, in this area. Or... start it? If this goes well, I may begin adding in foreign poets. I will be careful, however. I am not interests in some so-called poets. Rappers are NOT poets. I will go more global, however. English, what of some foreign translate well enough, and maybe pushing the envelope a bit. Why? It is time. As well, I have hopes my language skills might improve. I probably can't bump them all that much, but... maybe. Ah, and stories. In the end, that is all that remains here. More might go on, the soul, or spirit converted to soul. But here, in the fallen realm, all that will remain, for as long as it remains, are stories.
Oh... Snodgrass? I had always thought that was a joke name, maybe even about a fictional poet. I think I spoke with Michael about it before. Noting my humorous reaction to the name, and suggesting just what I noted here. I never went on to realize the reality, and the name sunk back to fiction and funny... until this. Will I never learn? Sometimes, of course not. Having too much fun until I am forced to rewrite the wiring harness around some tiddlybits.
Later.
.
I thought I'd do a bit of research on poets. After writing that last post, I was hoping I hadn't been wrong about Whitman being an American poet. Yeah, it happens. Anyway, at least I wasn't wrong on that. Frost I was much more secure with, and my doubts about Whitman were weak and after the fact. Anyway, a preliminary list was found that seems to hold some promise.
1 Whitman
2 Roethke
3 Stevens
4 Frost
5 Dickinson
6 Poe
7 R. Lowell
8 Snodgrass
9 Pound
10 Sandburg
I visited amazon, and, surprisingly, found the complete works of some of these, in kindle, for free. Others, ones I was totally unfamiliar with, wanted as much as $45 per, and not even complete, collections. Yeah... no. Some were inexpensive, as little as $.99. I gobbled up a number of them. A few I could only find in paperback. If they were inexpensive enough, I added them to my basket for some future time. The only one I might pull the plug on, and spend a bit more for a complete, and hardcover, would be Poe. We go wayyyyy back. I was reading his works before he was writing them, in a weird and Doomish way. *wink*
Now, when will I begin? I can't say. I am about smack in the middle of the epics of Dante, about a third the way through Haiku (or such), and I am what and who I am. Time isn't quite what it seems, which... well... don't you worry. Still, in time, I will begin. I will probably go with one or two of the bigger names (to my ears)... Frost, Dickens, and Whitman would be the top candidates. While, Poe, of course... I have covered Poe so well that... And, yet, he is definitely added back into the queue.
Why? Edumacation, lads and lasses, edumacation. This is one area I... never allowed myself to explore, save in an offhand way with Poe (horror) and Shakespeare (if only personally and privately). I had my reasons. I had much to sort. I could not be seen as... more... problematic than I already was. Secrets protect us, secrets keep us safe. Especially when so small. Now I can finish my education, in this area. Or... start it? If this goes well, I may begin adding in foreign poets. I will be careful, however. I am not interests in some so-called poets. Rappers are NOT poets. I will go more global, however. English, what of some foreign translate well enough, and maybe pushing the envelope a bit. Why? It is time. As well, I have hopes my language skills might improve. I probably can't bump them all that much, but... maybe. Ah, and stories. In the end, that is all that remains here. More might go on, the soul, or spirit converted to soul. But here, in the fallen realm, all that will remain, for as long as it remains, are stories.
Oh... Snodgrass? I had always thought that was a joke name, maybe even about a fictional poet. I think I spoke with Michael about it before. Noting my humorous reaction to the name, and suggesting just what I noted here. I never went on to realize the reality, and the name sunk back to fiction and funny... until this. Will I never learn? Sometimes, of course not. Having too much fun until I am forced to rewrite the wiring harness around some tiddlybits.
Later.
Up, up, and awake.
.
.
Mostly. Yes, days and nights are mixed, but days are sort of on the way back into the drivers seat. Waking just now, a bit before 3:00, yesterday around midnight, and the pattern has more slowly been heading in that direction for a while. I have learned that, in the more extreme weather periods... either too hot or too dark, I can't so easily hold days and nights to regularity, not without a woman around. At least most of the time. I have gotten better in several ways though. I can more usefully use the time I am awake, more often than not. And as I more successfully use that time, it almost invariably brings me back to a day pattern even on my own. I am, however, still a bit in shut down mode. Between appliances, cleaning, snow removal, minor injury, and financial stress, I am... not at prime, or even close. Still, I am aiming the bow for better waters, praying, and hoping. I have faith.
As to the attempt at taking my home, I simply pray for them. I am pretty sure what is going on with it. Typical crony corruption, possibly union hurt feelings, Zero's admin making one last strike at as many veterans as possible, directly or by his sort who are employed through government bureaucracies, and don't forget crony capital greed. Government approved businesses are just as bad as any tyranny because they are covered by the government. Washing each other's hands of each other's doings won't save either. Still, I even hope people like Manson, Stalin, and Ted Kennedy repented before they died. I don't know if Manson had ever been taught right, but the others (if you believe Jesuits can teach right, in Stalin's case) had been taught. Pray for them. No matter what, I have faith that God will see me to where His will requires me. Even if they steal the 10~12 k I have stored in this home, that... is just money. I'm not going to risk my soul with rage about dollars.
Oh, about Dante. Okay... I had only, if I hadn't written, read the first book before. I didn't even realize until recently, that there were two other books. Perhaps I had forgotten. Perhaps that first book had been so much, in my young teens, that I buried the memory. It is a hell of a read, even with unit intros and end of unit explanations. However, if you want a dense piece of read, there you go!
And, while I truly do not like poetry, this is... so much more. It is ancient history, mythology, religious understandings and beliefs of that time, writing tricks, allusions, and every sort of literary mechanic probably known to man. Did I mention dense? If you want to boost your language comprehension and other reading and literary thinking skills by a ton, drop this book on your lap and muscle through. You cannot win, but in losing you will not be defeated. Between Shakespeare, Dante, and J.R.R. Tolkien, I could be satisfied that men have done what they could, literarily. Literarily? I mean, that is as great as men can do in the gathering of information and wisdom, and using that as a basis for written art. Fiction? Is wisdom always literal? Is fact not often fiction? There are reasons for such forms, but not as a cloak, merely as shiny a mirror of the true Light as men may produce in written form.
I mean, I am loving the other book, and will like the last one I suspect. It is a brutal read. Not even I can win. Without the extras, I would often miss some of the finer pieces, as any great gothic work. Gothic? Maybe. I'm saying so, you may disagree at your leisure. It is so different, though, that I am able to read the book of haiku masters as an aside and not lose my place. Haiku and Dante are polar opposites, which detracts not one, at all, from the other. Oh, and while I despise poetry, I do believe, after this... I am going to be looking for collections from other, if mostly American, poets. Frost, Whitman(?), and a few others. I haven't truly made a list, just... I think it is time.
One last thing, if on another topic... watch your groceries! I have, in this last year, but realizing for longer if not so badly... they are selling really out-of-date products. Often in sales. I bought something a few months ago, without looking. Several items, I try to stock up on things I like if I catch a sale. The first item tasted funny... checked the date... like June, 2013! And I have been running into that a LOT. Now, if I don't see a date, and I check everything, I don't buy it. Actually, I might start picking out things that are that far out of date and taking them up to the checkout, and asking to speak to a manager. If I hit three like that, at a store, within six months, I'm going to have to drop them. I really am beginning to think that is a corporate decision, though it might just be a store cutting corners. The world has changed. Hopefully some of it can be unchanged. Just... watch your food and sell-by dates. If it's a week off, and it's canned, and you don't care? I guess that's your choice. But a few years off is into the danger zone.
I am going to attempt to fast today and up until supper tomorrow. Then begin daily fasting after that, again. I have quit adding sweeteners to my tea, and am down to just plain tea. It is taking time, but I am moving heaven and earth, in my little ways, to direct my health and eating and work in a better direction. Life is pain, but in that pain is opportunity. Each breath, a chance, for hope, faith, and charity. Not to dismiss the cardinal virtues, which I intend to study (thank you Dante, thank you very much), which are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.
Good morning, and day.
.
Mostly. Yes, days and nights are mixed, but days are sort of on the way back into the drivers seat. Waking just now, a bit before 3:00, yesterday around midnight, and the pattern has more slowly been heading in that direction for a while. I have learned that, in the more extreme weather periods... either too hot or too dark, I can't so easily hold days and nights to regularity, not without a woman around. At least most of the time. I have gotten better in several ways though. I can more usefully use the time I am awake, more often than not. And as I more successfully use that time, it almost invariably brings me back to a day pattern even on my own. I am, however, still a bit in shut down mode. Between appliances, cleaning, snow removal, minor injury, and financial stress, I am... not at prime, or even close. Still, I am aiming the bow for better waters, praying, and hoping. I have faith.
As to the attempt at taking my home, I simply pray for them. I am pretty sure what is going on with it. Typical crony corruption, possibly union hurt feelings, Zero's admin making one last strike at as many veterans as possible, directly or by his sort who are employed through government bureaucracies, and don't forget crony capital greed. Government approved businesses are just as bad as any tyranny because they are covered by the government. Washing each other's hands of each other's doings won't save either. Still, I even hope people like Manson, Stalin, and Ted Kennedy repented before they died. I don't know if Manson had ever been taught right, but the others (if you believe Jesuits can teach right, in Stalin's case) had been taught. Pray for them. No matter what, I have faith that God will see me to where His will requires me. Even if they steal the 10~12 k I have stored in this home, that... is just money. I'm not going to risk my soul with rage about dollars.
Oh, about Dante. Okay... I had only, if I hadn't written, read the first book before. I didn't even realize until recently, that there were two other books. Perhaps I had forgotten. Perhaps that first book had been so much, in my young teens, that I buried the memory. It is a hell of a read, even with unit intros and end of unit explanations. However, if you want a dense piece of read, there you go!
And, while I truly do not like poetry, this is... so much more. It is ancient history, mythology, religious understandings and beliefs of that time, writing tricks, allusions, and every sort of literary mechanic probably known to man. Did I mention dense? If you want to boost your language comprehension and other reading and literary thinking skills by a ton, drop this book on your lap and muscle through. You cannot win, but in losing you will not be defeated. Between Shakespeare, Dante, and J.R.R. Tolkien, I could be satisfied that men have done what they could, literarily. Literarily? I mean, that is as great as men can do in the gathering of information and wisdom, and using that as a basis for written art. Fiction? Is wisdom always literal? Is fact not often fiction? There are reasons for such forms, but not as a cloak, merely as shiny a mirror of the true Light as men may produce in written form.
I mean, I am loving the other book, and will like the last one I suspect. It is a brutal read. Not even I can win. Without the extras, I would often miss some of the finer pieces, as any great gothic work. Gothic? Maybe. I'm saying so, you may disagree at your leisure. It is so different, though, that I am able to read the book of haiku masters as an aside and not lose my place. Haiku and Dante are polar opposites, which detracts not one, at all, from the other. Oh, and while I despise poetry, I do believe, after this... I am going to be looking for collections from other, if mostly American, poets. Frost, Whitman(?), and a few others. I haven't truly made a list, just... I think it is time.
One last thing, if on another topic... watch your groceries! I have, in this last year, but realizing for longer if not so badly... they are selling really out-of-date products. Often in sales. I bought something a few months ago, without looking. Several items, I try to stock up on things I like if I catch a sale. The first item tasted funny... checked the date... like June, 2013! And I have been running into that a LOT. Now, if I don't see a date, and I check everything, I don't buy it. Actually, I might start picking out things that are that far out of date and taking them up to the checkout, and asking to speak to a manager. If I hit three like that, at a store, within six months, I'm going to have to drop them. I really am beginning to think that is a corporate decision, though it might just be a store cutting corners. The world has changed. Hopefully some of it can be unchanged. Just... watch your food and sell-by dates. If it's a week off, and it's canned, and you don't care? I guess that's your choice. But a few years off is into the danger zone.
I am going to attempt to fast today and up until supper tomorrow. Then begin daily fasting after that, again. I have quit adding sweeteners to my tea, and am down to just plain tea. It is taking time, but I am moving heaven and earth, in my little ways, to direct my health and eating and work in a better direction. Life is pain, but in that pain is opportunity. Each breath, a chance, for hope, faith, and charity. Not to dismiss the cardinal virtues, which I intend to study (thank you Dante, thank you very much), which are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.
Good morning, and day.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Troubles on top of woes.
.
.
The internet was down. No excuse, just the reason. We had some nasty weather this week. I thought perhaps the whole system went down, or hereabouts. Though it often chokes when it rains. I thought it might be something with my wiring. Nope and nope. Just some jiggly shuffle on their side. Fixed and all going. A new router that is supposed to be better, a reset on the wi-fi... Hmm. Awesome! Not having the internet was a bit annoying. I was rather patient, but then... I was simply being patient. The tech was cool, and just fixed it. Gratitude aplenty.
I finally received the form for automatic billing on my house. The same day I received notice that they are starting foreclosure. I can pay the balance, not sure I can afford the lawyer fees. They said they had to apply to the lawyer to find out how much that is. So, I may lose the house anyway. They kept trying to get me to apply for some sort of government assistance, or force me to pay online. I refused, for a number of reasons. I don't need assistance, and I don't trust online payments (with them, on their site). Crooked bastards, start to stop. I guess they decided if they couldn't force me to be cheated one way or the other, they would clobber via a third party (or on top of it). I am supposed to call them on the 17th. I'll ask some people to remind me.
What have I been doing? Reading, mostly. A bit of gaming, but that just wasn't all that fun. A book of haiku by three of the (or THE) old masters and nearing the end of Dante's Purgatoria. I had been stoved on reading, until the outage, so there was that. Well, and wi-fi should be functional now... if I am not sure I really trust it. Still, I'd like to see about it, so as to consider a tablet or laptop, if I can find a linux device. I don't trust google devices either. Well, or a book reader. I'm using my smart phone, but I need to get out of that. Probably just go to landline, assuming I'll be able to wrangle the house back. Ugh.
We did have one heavy, if not massive, snow. I dug out from it. Three to four inches, but wet, wet, wet. Nasty. That bit of work did me in. My pinky didn't bug me until about half way through, then it was brutal. I had to use it, I had to finish. It's still sore. It's looking better, but still nearly one and an half it's normal size. It's too swollen, for example, to get finger nail clippers in for a trim. Yeah.
Well, back. I'll write more soon. Just laying down a brief and then... doing something else. Later.
.
The internet was down. No excuse, just the reason. We had some nasty weather this week. I thought perhaps the whole system went down, or hereabouts. Though it often chokes when it rains. I thought it might be something with my wiring. Nope and nope. Just some jiggly shuffle on their side. Fixed and all going. A new router that is supposed to be better, a reset on the wi-fi... Hmm. Awesome! Not having the internet was a bit annoying. I was rather patient, but then... I was simply being patient. The tech was cool, and just fixed it. Gratitude aplenty.
I finally received the form for automatic billing on my house. The same day I received notice that they are starting foreclosure. I can pay the balance, not sure I can afford the lawyer fees. They said they had to apply to the lawyer to find out how much that is. So, I may lose the house anyway. They kept trying to get me to apply for some sort of government assistance, or force me to pay online. I refused, for a number of reasons. I don't need assistance, and I don't trust online payments (with them, on their site). Crooked bastards, start to stop. I guess they decided if they couldn't force me to be cheated one way or the other, they would clobber via a third party (or on top of it). I am supposed to call them on the 17th. I'll ask some people to remind me.
What have I been doing? Reading, mostly. A bit of gaming, but that just wasn't all that fun. A book of haiku by three of the (or THE) old masters and nearing the end of Dante's Purgatoria. I had been stoved on reading, until the outage, so there was that. Well, and wi-fi should be functional now... if I am not sure I really trust it. Still, I'd like to see about it, so as to consider a tablet or laptop, if I can find a linux device. I don't trust google devices either. Well, or a book reader. I'm using my smart phone, but I need to get out of that. Probably just go to landline, assuming I'll be able to wrangle the house back. Ugh.
We did have one heavy, if not massive, snow. I dug out from it. Three to four inches, but wet, wet, wet. Nasty. That bit of work did me in. My pinky didn't bug me until about half way through, then it was brutal. I had to use it, I had to finish. It's still sore. It's looking better, but still nearly one and an half it's normal size. It's too swollen, for example, to get finger nail clippers in for a trim. Yeah.
Well, back. I'll write more soon. Just laying down a brief and then... doing something else. Later.
Monday, January 9, 2017
Something something.
.
.
Yeah, I got salt out and spread it. That's a lot of drive and a bit of sidewalk... did what I could. It had stopped raining while I was doing that, which was right after that last post. I should buy sand, too, to mix with it. Or a salt and sand mix? I'll keep pure salt on hand as well, but a mix might be better sometimes. Especially if, as I suspect, this rain over snow will turn into a sheet of ice.
After that I boiled a dozen eggs. I cut several minutes off the cooking time and almost half off the unheated cook time. If the whites are done, and they were, I suspected the centers would be done. I'll find out in a bit. I ate the first batch, which was too much I think. Now I have a belly ache as a child who ate too many sweets might.
I don't know if I will get much more done. I would like to get the trash collected and out. To be honest though, I don't have much trash. I haven't been eating or tinkering or cleaning or... anything. I simply, in truth, only have, perhaps, a single bag to go out, all told. I may get that out but I don't know that it's worth the bother to hike it to the curb. Actually, I am sure it isn't. I will clean out the fridge while I am at it though.
Doh, that stomach is really giving me fits. Too much food, or is it just eggs? They were good, just... I haven't been eating much at all. Eggs are a weird food and I overdid to boot. Bleh. Later.
.
Yeah, I got salt out and spread it. That's a lot of drive and a bit of sidewalk... did what I could. It had stopped raining while I was doing that, which was right after that last post. I should buy sand, too, to mix with it. Or a salt and sand mix? I'll keep pure salt on hand as well, but a mix might be better sometimes. Especially if, as I suspect, this rain over snow will turn into a sheet of ice.
After that I boiled a dozen eggs. I cut several minutes off the cooking time and almost half off the unheated cook time. If the whites are done, and they were, I suspected the centers would be done. I'll find out in a bit. I ate the first batch, which was too much I think. Now I have a belly ache as a child who ate too many sweets might.
I don't know if I will get much more done. I would like to get the trash collected and out. To be honest though, I don't have much trash. I haven't been eating or tinkering or cleaning or... anything. I simply, in truth, only have, perhaps, a single bag to go out, all told. I may get that out but I don't know that it's worth the bother to hike it to the curb. Actually, I am sure it isn't. I will clean out the fridge while I am at it though.
Doh, that stomach is really giving me fits. Too much food, or is it just eggs? They were good, just... I haven't been eating much at all. Eggs are a weird food and I overdid to boot. Bleh. Later.
I think, when I work to much, or am healing, I drop.
.
.
I don't drop a bit, I can drop like a rock. It isn't just physical. My mind is still working, but only on the inside. I did figure out my egg boiling problem. It simply takes a lot longer to cook in the winter. Look, duh, but also, not so much. It was a lot longer, not a bit longer... going from getting the pan to a boil, then shutting it off for about ten minutes, to boiling for ten minutes, shutting it off and then letting it sit for twenty minutes. That is a massive difference, both in heat output over time, and time itself. Now, I wasn't able to get the eggs to be soft boiled, so I can back the time off... maybe to ten minutes steam time? Ugh.
I was starting to think the eggs were all just bad. For whatever reason, I decided, to day, to just push all parameters and see if it really was just me, or the technique/timing, or if it was the eggs somehow. In part, cracking an egg open and having it not be boiled leaves something that is... horror inducing. Or to me. Fixed. Now I will do up a dozen and an half eggs for simple eating. And, next time I get to town, I'll buy fresh(tm) eggs to make homemade mayo. I want to make a plate of deviled eggs. It's... sort of thematic here. *grins* It's not the notion that souls equate to souls, for me, it's that the devil loves souls, and I like helping stealing them from his plate. The devil's devil, since God just doesn't go there? Mayhap, Paddywhack, give the dog... a deviled egg?
Yeah. Oh, a nasty thing with weather. It snowed not long ago. Yesterday? Today? I've been fuzzy lately, of mind and time. Anyway, I kept meaning to get out, when I could remember the need, but it didn't happen. Guess what it is doing now? Raining! Oh, crap. It's going to get nasty out there. Hmm... Might just grab some salt, sprinkle that around, if I can do that before it freezes again. GAH! I am so baked, I just can't... figure it out. I'll keep trying to try? Later.
.
I don't drop a bit, I can drop like a rock. It isn't just physical. My mind is still working, but only on the inside. I did figure out my egg boiling problem. It simply takes a lot longer to cook in the winter. Look, duh, but also, not so much. It was a lot longer, not a bit longer... going from getting the pan to a boil, then shutting it off for about ten minutes, to boiling for ten minutes, shutting it off and then letting it sit for twenty minutes. That is a massive difference, both in heat output over time, and time itself. Now, I wasn't able to get the eggs to be soft boiled, so I can back the time off... maybe to ten minutes steam time? Ugh.
I was starting to think the eggs were all just bad. For whatever reason, I decided, to day, to just push all parameters and see if it really was just me, or the technique/timing, or if it was the eggs somehow. In part, cracking an egg open and having it not be boiled leaves something that is... horror inducing. Or to me. Fixed. Now I will do up a dozen and an half eggs for simple eating. And, next time I get to town, I'll buy fresh(tm) eggs to make homemade mayo. I want to make a plate of deviled eggs. It's... sort of thematic here. *grins* It's not the notion that souls equate to souls, for me, it's that the devil loves souls, and I like helping stealing them from his plate. The devil's devil, since God just doesn't go there? Mayhap, Paddywhack, give the dog... a deviled egg?
Yeah. Oh, a nasty thing with weather. It snowed not long ago. Yesterday? Today? I've been fuzzy lately, of mind and time. Anyway, I kept meaning to get out, when I could remember the need, but it didn't happen. Guess what it is doing now? Raining! Oh, crap. It's going to get nasty out there. Hmm... Might just grab some salt, sprinkle that around, if I can do that before it freezes again. GAH! I am so baked, I just can't... figure it out. I'll keep trying to try? Later.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
I'm simply not functioning.
.
.
I'm not tired, physically. I don't hurt. I simply can't focus, again. I am keeping water at bay. I eat from time to time. I am sleeping well. I am keeping warm enough. I just can't get to things.
I am motivated. I want milk and cream, and am running out of butter. I want to get out just to get out. I want to work. I like working. I am getting bottlenosed at several points in my upkeep plans around here. Gah! It isn't a matter of not trying, it's more not even being able to realize... I'm not realizing. Or... something close to that.
Oh well. I'll... keep trying to keep it all on my mind. It's all I can do for now. Later.
.
I'm not tired, physically. I don't hurt. I simply can't focus, again. I am keeping water at bay. I eat from time to time. I am sleeping well. I am keeping warm enough. I just can't get to things.
I am motivated. I want milk and cream, and am running out of butter. I want to get out just to get out. I want to work. I like working. I am getting bottlenosed at several points in my upkeep plans around here. Gah! It isn't a matter of not trying, it's more not even being able to realize... I'm not realizing. Or... something close to that.
Oh well. I'll... keep trying to keep it all on my mind. It's all I can do for now. Later.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Hmm? Just healing I think.
.
.
Because the tip of the finger seemed so much bigger, I didn't really think the middle section had been hit. As I am seeing things more clearly, I now believe it was. I, essentually, crushed that finger down to the second knuckle. It is all, now, down to about twice the size of the other pinky. But it is working, without fuss. I use it gingerly, but that is nearly automated now, done without thought, and will change back on it's own. I never did feel great pains, just a few stabbing jolts. Though I think I needed the heat, which means... there was probably more going on.
I think I am on the other side of the hidden pain, and even shock. I woke warm enough, with the furnace at 68 (higher than usual, but needed lately) so warm that I had to turn a fan on low to get back to sleep for the last quarter to half of my sleep cycle. Even with the outside being extremely cold, and having been so for a while now.
For the last... while... it's been under 20. And, when I looked recently, it was between fifteen and twenty below, if I caught it right, outside. I don't know, it just seems a stronger longer colder cold snap than I remember. But then I don't go out daily, and I don't keep absolute track. Even then reports are just as often wrong as right, so unless you just take your own readings, and log them, then do some minor stats, knowing isn't really truly possible. Besides, felt is different from practical, as I know well myself. We don't live in a perfectly digital reality where what is is being also what is felt. It's... odd that way.
Relying on your guts is good, right up until it isn't. Relying on your instruments is good, right up until it isn't. Both can and will fail you. Instruments, usually, are a final resource... right up until failure which... requires your guts. Ugh! Still, I am alive. I am guessing I have, or had, a very keen nose for these things.
Oh, right. I am almost beginning to feel better, and ready. I am looking around, as if hungry, but for work. I have some clothes in the dryer that got lost in the blizzard of messy life. I'll dampen a towel and... wait. I want to deal with the laundry that is clean but out in baskets. THEN, after a break, I'll hit those. Then a shower, setting up dishes, and maybe begin cycling laundry through, now that I have the folding board out and operational. After waking.
If all that foes forward? I will either hit the dryer or range, and get it leveled. Or both? Depending on what the oats do for my breakfast. Hmm... I haven't soaked any, but I might... nah, no milk or cream. Blasted! I could check the eggs. A few eggs would be okay, I suppose. Especially if I have an onion. I do have a bit of cheese. Hmm... We'll see. I just... think it might be possible.
The real goal this week, however, is to catch the house back up to where it was at peak, in the first few days, then to hit the bedroom for the last three or four days. Laundry and dishes are side details, but I wish to keep them going. Hmm, I think Monday will be my linens day. And, since I will be having laundry ongoing... all good. With linens on Monday, perhaps that would be the day for all cottons, from jeans to polos to towels. Or... something. Maybe it will just be laundry day? I'm... just figuring things out.
Oh, I now have 5k followers on gab. I did recruiting these last x number of days. Something to do while all else failed. Next, to double that. It'd be cool to have 10k~20k when I check out. No, not that kind of checking out. After the first 100 days, I am considering it. It's... not really my thing, I guess. Too... what's another word for needy... Too... CHATTY! :p
On to waking. Have a great evening. Yeah, days and nights are inverted. Later.
.
Because the tip of the finger seemed so much bigger, I didn't really think the middle section had been hit. As I am seeing things more clearly, I now believe it was. I, essentually, crushed that finger down to the second knuckle. It is all, now, down to about twice the size of the other pinky. But it is working, without fuss. I use it gingerly, but that is nearly automated now, done without thought, and will change back on it's own. I never did feel great pains, just a few stabbing jolts. Though I think I needed the heat, which means... there was probably more going on.
I think I am on the other side of the hidden pain, and even shock. I woke warm enough, with the furnace at 68 (higher than usual, but needed lately) so warm that I had to turn a fan on low to get back to sleep for the last quarter to half of my sleep cycle. Even with the outside being extremely cold, and having been so for a while now.
For the last... while... it's been under 20. And, when I looked recently, it was between fifteen and twenty below, if I caught it right, outside. I don't know, it just seems a stronger longer colder cold snap than I remember. But then I don't go out daily, and I don't keep absolute track. Even then reports are just as often wrong as right, so unless you just take your own readings, and log them, then do some minor stats, knowing isn't really truly possible. Besides, felt is different from practical, as I know well myself. We don't live in a perfectly digital reality where what is is being also what is felt. It's... odd that way.
Relying on your guts is good, right up until it isn't. Relying on your instruments is good, right up until it isn't. Both can and will fail you. Instruments, usually, are a final resource... right up until failure which... requires your guts. Ugh! Still, I am alive. I am guessing I have, or had, a very keen nose for these things.
Oh, right. I am almost beginning to feel better, and ready. I am looking around, as if hungry, but for work. I have some clothes in the dryer that got lost in the blizzard of messy life. I'll dampen a towel and... wait. I want to deal with the laundry that is clean but out in baskets. THEN, after a break, I'll hit those. Then a shower, setting up dishes, and maybe begin cycling laundry through, now that I have the folding board out and operational. After waking.
If all that foes forward? I will either hit the dryer or range, and get it leveled. Or both? Depending on what the oats do for my breakfast. Hmm... I haven't soaked any, but I might... nah, no milk or cream. Blasted! I could check the eggs. A few eggs would be okay, I suppose. Especially if I have an onion. I do have a bit of cheese. Hmm... We'll see. I just... think it might be possible.
The real goal this week, however, is to catch the house back up to where it was at peak, in the first few days, then to hit the bedroom for the last three or four days. Laundry and dishes are side details, but I wish to keep them going. Hmm, I think Monday will be my linens day. And, since I will be having laundry ongoing... all good. With linens on Monday, perhaps that would be the day for all cottons, from jeans to polos to towels. Or... something. Maybe it will just be laundry day? I'm... just figuring things out.
Oh, I now have 5k followers on gab. I did recruiting these last x number of days. Something to do while all else failed. Next, to double that. It'd be cool to have 10k~20k when I check out. No, not that kind of checking out. After the first 100 days, I am considering it. It's... not really my thing, I guess. Too... what's another word for needy... Too... CHATTY! :p
On to waking. Have a great evening. Yeah, days and nights are inverted. Later.
Friday, January 6, 2017
So strange.
.
.
My finger is healing well. It is no longer three times it's normal size, but it's still a good double the size. The purple part has faded but the red bloom at the end is still in solid form. The black mark down the center of the nail has remained constant to date. As for pain, there hasn't been more. I type with it, but somewhat gingerly, just in case. It sort of feels like that waking body part 'pins and needles' when I use it, more so if it use it a bit heavily. I think I got, for the most part, off very luckily.
I turned up the heat, really high, through "yesterday". I thought it would help me get to things. I looks like, between the bit of snow I did, the finger, the lasting deeper cold, and some other such, I simply wasn't able to get going. It was a good day off though, I won't complain. I want to get back to it, but if my body isn't ready... And I enjoyed just mopping up rest in warmth. I can't even quite get to pushing, or even looking for, windows of opportunity. I am probably going to heat the place up again today. Even if I am not pushing, I am hoping that warmth will... open something up.
I have no idea when I went to sleep, or even when I woke. I've been awake, maybe, an hour or two? Ugh. Whatever. Later.
.
My finger is healing well. It is no longer three times it's normal size, but it's still a good double the size. The purple part has faded but the red bloom at the end is still in solid form. The black mark down the center of the nail has remained constant to date. As for pain, there hasn't been more. I type with it, but somewhat gingerly, just in case. It sort of feels like that waking body part 'pins and needles' when I use it, more so if it use it a bit heavily. I think I got, for the most part, off very luckily.
I turned up the heat, really high, through "yesterday". I thought it would help me get to things. I looks like, between the bit of snow I did, the finger, the lasting deeper cold, and some other such, I simply wasn't able to get going. It was a good day off though, I won't complain. I want to get back to it, but if my body isn't ready... And I enjoyed just mopping up rest in warmth. I can't even quite get to pushing, or even looking for, windows of opportunity. I am probably going to heat the place up again today. Even if I am not pushing, I am hoping that warmth will... open something up.
I have no idea when I went to sleep, or even when I woke. I've been awake, maybe, an hour or two? Ugh. Whatever. Later.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
The worst didn't happen, or hasn't happened yet.
.
.
I honestly expected to wake to agony. From the finger. I also worried that the swelling would continue until something really bad happened. I must admit, there were some ringing flutters of pain, aches though, not drumming waves of pain. And, if I am doing so gently, I can still use it to type and other light duties. Further, the swelling has decreased. Oh, and the nail? The black 'cat's eye' sort of black mark, which developed so quickly I thought it would going to explode, stopped almost after it started, if that was some time after the incident. I think, think I say, it will be okay.
Another neighbor came by with a scoop and got my frontage area. I truly appreciate. Even if he might have been a part of a story not so long ago. *grins* I would like to get to town tonight, don't know if I will. Or tomorrow. I am a bit under. Between the cold, and the little bit of snow work I did, and the finger, I... just... If I had to, sure, but I don't. I would like to though. Milk, butter, cream, oyster crackers, salad makings, cabbage... you know. Stuff. If I can find fruit that looks good I'd like some of that.
Sleep and wake are simply off. I suspect any major efforts or pains will always end up throwing my schedule off in both the short and mid term, until things settle again. I'm on and off medicine... not from recalcitrance so much as minor, short term, fugue, from exhaustion. I think, at one time, I suffered a truer form of fugue. People knew me, and seemed to like me well, people I did not know. Unless I have always been secretly famous? Don't think so though. Now it is more that I... stop being me, or anyone, for short bits. I still function, but more on autopilot, I think.
Well, on to... something... waking, maybe reheating something, whatevs. Later.
.
I honestly expected to wake to agony. From the finger. I also worried that the swelling would continue until something really bad happened. I must admit, there were some ringing flutters of pain, aches though, not drumming waves of pain. And, if I am doing so gently, I can still use it to type and other light duties. Further, the swelling has decreased. Oh, and the nail? The black 'cat's eye' sort of black mark, which developed so quickly I thought it would going to explode, stopped almost after it started, if that was some time after the incident. I think, think I say, it will be okay.
Another neighbor came by with a scoop and got my frontage area. I truly appreciate. Even if he might have been a part of a story not so long ago. *grins* I would like to get to town tonight, don't know if I will. Or tomorrow. I am a bit under. Between the cold, and the little bit of snow work I did, and the finger, I... just... If I had to, sure, but I don't. I would like to though. Milk, butter, cream, oyster crackers, salad makings, cabbage... you know. Stuff. If I can find fruit that looks good I'd like some of that.
Sleep and wake are simply off. I suspect any major efforts or pains will always end up throwing my schedule off in both the short and mid term, until things settle again. I'm on and off medicine... not from recalcitrance so much as minor, short term, fugue, from exhaustion. I think, at one time, I suffered a truer form of fugue. People knew me, and seemed to like me well, people I did not know. Unless I have always been secretly famous? Don't think so though. Now it is more that I... stop being me, or anyone, for short bits. I still function, but more on autopilot, I think.
Well, on to... something... waking, maybe reheating something, whatevs. Later.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
We'll see.
.
.
The pinky is very swollen now. It's the top knuckle area that got hit. The top, scull cap or polar top, of the finger is blush blood red. The rest of the fingreprint area is now like a purple grape, and quite swollen. It is numb, mostly. Oh, and the fingernail is showing a dark and enlarging stain. I don't think I will lose it, but... at this stage... I'll know more tomorrow. I haven't gone through any more shock, and was able to work, and can type so far. Though typing on that finger is like using a 'peg' finger, or a finger that has 'fallen asleep'. So typing is a bit slower. If pain ever really sets in, I might not post for a day or... whatever. Or just have to use the hunt-and-peck method and go much slower. Beats having the whole hand, or hand and arm, out of commission. Done that been there twice that I can remember. Just going to the bathroom was a hassle. Then again, back then? No computers, cellphones, and all that other jazz. Yeah.
It does seem to have stopped snowing, last I looked. I check about every other time I get up for something. Even if no snow falls, I will probably hit it again tomorrow. The wind seems to be drifting it in, or might. I really want to stay ahead, if I can, as much as I can. If I hit it wrong, and it is sensitive, I see now that a short or even long break will allow me to get over shock and get back to it, if need be. A good thing to know.
If the work isn't too much, and so long as I do some other chores, I'll also get the snowshoes out again as well. I definitely have enough snow now. Of course, I am looking at bigger snowshoes. I really don't think these work for me as well as I would like. Certainly not for packing in. I have heard that traditional might be better, but I'm not sure about that. I need to get someone on the horn to discuss it. I suppose, just for paths, and maybe just a day pack, these might be okay. Anything more and they begin to fail quickly. Just not large enough. And, while looking, I may see about a tow sled. That would transfer weight and make these more useful as is, or allow bigger snowshoes even more capacity for deeper snow. Just... thinking.
Later, or good night.
.
The pinky is very swollen now. It's the top knuckle area that got hit. The top, scull cap or polar top, of the finger is blush blood red. The rest of the fingreprint area is now like a purple grape, and quite swollen. It is numb, mostly. Oh, and the fingernail is showing a dark and enlarging stain. I don't think I will lose it, but... at this stage... I'll know more tomorrow. I haven't gone through any more shock, and was able to work, and can type so far. Though typing on that finger is like using a 'peg' finger, or a finger that has 'fallen asleep'. So typing is a bit slower. If pain ever really sets in, I might not post for a day or... whatever. Or just have to use the hunt-and-peck method and go much slower. Beats having the whole hand, or hand and arm, out of commission. Done that been there twice that I can remember. Just going to the bathroom was a hassle. Then again, back then? No computers, cellphones, and all that other jazz. Yeah.
It does seem to have stopped snowing, last I looked. I check about every other time I get up for something. Even if no snow falls, I will probably hit it again tomorrow. The wind seems to be drifting it in, or might. I really want to stay ahead, if I can, as much as I can. If I hit it wrong, and it is sensitive, I see now that a short or even long break will allow me to get over shock and get back to it, if need be. A good thing to know.
If the work isn't too much, and so long as I do some other chores, I'll also get the snowshoes out again as well. I definitely have enough snow now. Of course, I am looking at bigger snowshoes. I really don't think these work for me as well as I would like. Certainly not for packing in. I have heard that traditional might be better, but I'm not sure about that. I need to get someone on the horn to discuss it. I suppose, just for paths, and maybe just a day pack, these might be okay. Anything more and they begin to fail quickly. Just not large enough. And, while looking, I may see about a tow sled. That would transfer weight and make these more useful as is, or allow bigger snowshoes even more capacity for deeper snow. Just... thinking.
Later, or good night.
The last ten yards.
.
.
My neighbor had called, to let me know he was coming over. Shoveling by hand. Unpossible! I didn't get the memo. I wasn't expecting a call, so had carelessly set my phone... somewhere. While getting ready to go out, I saw the call. I didn't know what all it was about. So I called back. After a minute or two, I realized... he was talking to me from my driveway! Even then, I kept talking. Just knowing something doesn't mean the mind had come around to a full understanding, or a means of dealing, with a strange notion. Finally I suggested I'd hang up and be right out.
Oh my. I felt like a total heel. So I started in. Now I feel like a worse heel, as I think he was going to stop where he was, but my coming out... caused him to stay longer and help with that end bit. Can't win for losing or winning or... Yeah. I'll tell you though, that last ten was a bear, even with help. It's what comes in off the road. Salt, slush, grime, muck. Thankfully it hadn't frozen into a solid mass. That is brutal.
I may not have a frontage, again, but I do have a way out. Even in 4x4 low, low, low, with all the bells and whistles going, could I have driven through that last bit though. It was soft set concrete, and would have been worse by morning. They say, probably, that the snow is mostly finished. As such, after I helped with the finish, I did just a bit more cleanup. It had been snowing, a bit, and blowing, behind the work. Impossible to keep up. But at the end, it looked to have stopped, so I figured it couldn't hurt. The snow blower is fine, for the first two thirds of the drive, useless in the last ten yards and on the frontage. If there is a next time, I will keep that in mind, and simply change my routine. Use the machine out to the twenty yard line, then shovel three scoop widths, split at that point, and used the machine for those areas... then hand shovel the rest. Brutal lot of work.
While shock took me out of the game, how many people can go into shock, then get back to work on the same day? I might not have done all that much, one either side, but it... was some serious work, what I did. I told neighbor we would be going for pizza next month, to celebrate work. He said he doesn't do this for that, or pay. I just told him I knew. I couldn't afford that much work anyway. Grateful. For many things. Later or good night.
.
My neighbor had called, to let me know he was coming over. Shoveling by hand. Unpossible! I didn't get the memo. I wasn't expecting a call, so had carelessly set my phone... somewhere. While getting ready to go out, I saw the call. I didn't know what all it was about. So I called back. After a minute or two, I realized... he was talking to me from my driveway! Even then, I kept talking. Just knowing something doesn't mean the mind had come around to a full understanding, or a means of dealing, with a strange notion. Finally I suggested I'd hang up and be right out.
Oh my. I felt like a total heel. So I started in. Now I feel like a worse heel, as I think he was going to stop where he was, but my coming out... caused him to stay longer and help with that end bit. Can't win for losing or winning or... Yeah. I'll tell you though, that last ten was a bear, even with help. It's what comes in off the road. Salt, slush, grime, muck. Thankfully it hadn't frozen into a solid mass. That is brutal.
I may not have a frontage, again, but I do have a way out. Even in 4x4 low, low, low, with all the bells and whistles going, could I have driven through that last bit though. It was soft set concrete, and would have been worse by morning. They say, probably, that the snow is mostly finished. As such, after I helped with the finish, I did just a bit more cleanup. It had been snowing, a bit, and blowing, behind the work. Impossible to keep up. But at the end, it looked to have stopped, so I figured it couldn't hurt. The snow blower is fine, for the first two thirds of the drive, useless in the last ten yards and on the frontage. If there is a next time, I will keep that in mind, and simply change my routine. Use the machine out to the twenty yard line, then shovel three scoop widths, split at that point, and used the machine for those areas... then hand shovel the rest. Brutal lot of work.
While shock took me out of the game, how many people can go into shock, then get back to work on the same day? I might not have done all that much, one either side, but it... was some serious work, what I did. I told neighbor we would be going for pizza next month, to celebrate work. He said he doesn't do this for that, or pay. I just told him I knew. I couldn't afford that much work anyway. Grateful. For many things. Later or good night.
Well... better. So back to it.
.
.
The symptoms of shock have passed. The pinky tip turned from dark blue/black to a red bloom. It'st still numb, but... it seems to be doing okay. After resting a bit, just on my butt not on my back, I think... I might be ready to go out and try to do a bit more work. How much can I get done? I don't know. The hand might get worse, and the work is brutally hard. A foot of snow, or more, is... even with the snow blower... a lot of lot of snow, weight, resistance. I'll do what I can. Might not be much.
Yeah, it's still snowing. Or was the last time I looked. It wouldn't surprise me, if this keeps up any at all, if they close the week. This is the sort of time where I fear the loss of electricity. I have other means, but they are weak, untried, and would have to be sorted out on the fly. A prepper? Sure, but a crippled one. Yeah, okay, so I need to begin practicing with these things. Then again, that is part of the purpose of camping. The two go together quite well.
I have some things that would more easily be ready. I have plenty of blankest. I have several ways of heating and cooking, if those would take a bit more to prep. Although the grill, even if outside, could be put into use quickly and easily, just not sustained for all that long. Ugh...
Anyway... I'll see if I can clear the bits I had cleared, then begin from there. If I can add another level to the middle path... which has two swipes, mostly, already, I might be able to use the snow blower to go from that middle section and cut swaths to the side. I'm not sure, really, if anything will work well. It will probably have to be a bit of machine and shove. It... is a lot of snow out there. What doesn't kill you is supposed to make you stronger. Later.
.
The symptoms of shock have passed. The pinky tip turned from dark blue/black to a red bloom. It'st still numb, but... it seems to be doing okay. After resting a bit, just on my butt not on my back, I think... I might be ready to go out and try to do a bit more work. How much can I get done? I don't know. The hand might get worse, and the work is brutally hard. A foot of snow, or more, is... even with the snow blower... a lot of lot of snow, weight, resistance. I'll do what I can. Might not be much.
Yeah, it's still snowing. Or was the last time I looked. It wouldn't surprise me, if this keeps up any at all, if they close the week. This is the sort of time where I fear the loss of electricity. I have other means, but they are weak, untried, and would have to be sorted out on the fly. A prepper? Sure, but a crippled one. Yeah, okay, so I need to begin practicing with these things. Then again, that is part of the purpose of camping. The two go together quite well.
I have some things that would more easily be ready. I have plenty of blankest. I have several ways of heating and cooking, if those would take a bit more to prep. Although the grill, even if outside, could be put into use quickly and easily, just not sustained for all that long. Ugh...
Anyway... I'll see if I can clear the bits I had cleared, then begin from there. If I can add another level to the middle path... which has two swipes, mostly, already, I might be able to use the snow blower to go from that middle section and cut swaths to the side. I'm not sure, really, if anything will work well. It will probably have to be a bit of machine and shove. It... is a lot of snow out there. What doesn't kill you is supposed to make you stronger. Later.
Snow, and lots of it.
.
.
An Inch, three? No, more like a foot, give or take a bit. I got the shovel out. No matter how deep, it has to start with that, just to get the snow blower out. Oh my word was that some effort. Three or four shovel widths to open up the area in front of the garage, and then shoveling some light snow, after moving trash and recycling barrels, to get into the door. I need the room in front of the garage for starting, and then turning on the return loop, the snow blower. Room, need it. The side way is how I get the snow machine out. That was a lot of work right there.
Next is getting the machine out and getting her lit. Getting her out was easy, but lighting her, this time, was becoming difficult. Ah, right! I have started emptying the gas tank, or burning it dry. A little gas and she popped about as well as could be hoped. Oh, Lord, though... the first row was murder. And then, out near the road, I suppose from ice and slurry being kicked over from the road as it is cleared, she just kept bogging down. The first time, I brought her back to the garage, grabbed a small breaker bar, and loosened it all. It wasn't ice, just hard packing snow, which is much easier.
The next time, since it sounded and felt like the bar went in without being dinged or shook, I put my hand down the shoot. Urhm, no, there is a live auger in there. Hurt? Oh, well, yes. Very thick new winter gloves probably saved the pinky from the top knuckle on, and perhaps part of the next finger... if not whole hand if it had been pulled in wet.
At first I thought it just bruised, nothing big. But then I started getting nauseous, sweats, and some other things. Shock. I know it anywhere. Man, I must be getting old. I used to be able to handle fairly decent trauma without this much fuss. Not anymore. I was nearing passing out, but I didn't want to waste the trip back, so I did some light clean up, if I did hurry. In, boots off, resting. It seems, for now, I can type with the finger. Shock symptoms persist, and the pinky is numb, and blackening. I'm going to take anacin and lay down for a bit.
Oh, and by the way? Even with the snow blower, that is brutal. I am not sure I can do it. Not in anything like a timely fashion. If my hand ends up gimp... *shrug*
.
An Inch, three? No, more like a foot, give or take a bit. I got the shovel out. No matter how deep, it has to start with that, just to get the snow blower out. Oh my word was that some effort. Three or four shovel widths to open up the area in front of the garage, and then shoveling some light snow, after moving trash and recycling barrels, to get into the door. I need the room in front of the garage for starting, and then turning on the return loop, the snow blower. Room, need it. The side way is how I get the snow machine out. That was a lot of work right there.
Next is getting the machine out and getting her lit. Getting her out was easy, but lighting her, this time, was becoming difficult. Ah, right! I have started emptying the gas tank, or burning it dry. A little gas and she popped about as well as could be hoped. Oh, Lord, though... the first row was murder. And then, out near the road, I suppose from ice and slurry being kicked over from the road as it is cleared, she just kept bogging down. The first time, I brought her back to the garage, grabbed a small breaker bar, and loosened it all. It wasn't ice, just hard packing snow, which is much easier.
The next time, since it sounded and felt like the bar went in without being dinged or shook, I put my hand down the shoot. Urhm, no, there is a live auger in there. Hurt? Oh, well, yes. Very thick new winter gloves probably saved the pinky from the top knuckle on, and perhaps part of the next finger... if not whole hand if it had been pulled in wet.
At first I thought it just bruised, nothing big. But then I started getting nauseous, sweats, and some other things. Shock. I know it anywhere. Man, I must be getting old. I used to be able to handle fairly decent trauma without this much fuss. Not anymore. I was nearing passing out, but I didn't want to waste the trip back, so I did some light clean up, if I did hurry. In, boots off, resting. It seems, for now, I can type with the finger. Shock symptoms persist, and the pinky is numb, and blackening. I'm going to take anacin and lay down for a bit.
Oh, and by the way? Even with the snow blower, that is brutal. I am not sure I can do it. Not in anything like a timely fashion. If my hand ends up gimp... *shrug*
Sleep just isn't in the cards.
.
.
Not yet anyway. I did try to kick it over and push through the day... no try about it actually. I missed the cutoff and ended up just... right back where I had been.
.
Not yet anyway. I did try to kick it over and push through the day... no try about it actually. I missed the cutoff and ended up just... right back where I had been.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
I made it, then some.
.
.
I actually had hoped to be in bed by now. I... had some things on my mind, and thought about doing a few things, then just drifted. Hmm, I did start, and finish, laundry. I need to either roll loads through, or maybe set that in the washer to go again and deal with what is in the dryer. Oh, and I used the folding device on several t-shirts. I tried it their way, which was just a bit off. Tweaking their system, I have it down. Now, everything I was folding has wrinkles. Next time they won't. I had held off dealing with the laundry until I could find the board and... yeah. I may clear off the table back there. But with my bed always being made now, it works too. Plus, folding on the bed mean I am closer to where they will be put up. The device is quite handy. I think I am going to enjoy it. Even without practice, I can fold shirts much more quickly.
I need to get to town, groceries for one thing. Milk, cream, and some other things. I am, sometimes now, ordering some foods through amazon. Why? Because they are items I eat regularly, items I have difficulty finding regularly, in any quantity, or at a reasonable price. Sardines in extra virgin olive oil, canned oyster, and such. Seems strange, but it helps. I simply cannot always find what I am looking for locally, and I just won't push and shove through many stores for one or two packets, at most. Buy in bulk, reorder when half way through, and don't worry. Admittedly, I am a lousy shopper but I don't think stores are really good for some types.
Then again, I am sort of comparing brands. If I find brands I like, I may see if the local stores would offer a discount for bulk purchases, and whether they would be willing to order in bulk in the first place. Ugh, one thing at a time though.
Tomorrow I am hoping to level the dryer as well. And fiddle with laundry. Maybe pick up the last of the dishes and straight the kitchen back up a bit. Or not. Whatever I can do. It's still a week of rest. I pushed a bit too much up to Christmas. But I don't want the engine to go clean down to cold either. I'll keep at it. Good night and... well, yeah, just that. Weird to be going to bed at night again.
.
I actually had hoped to be in bed by now. I... had some things on my mind, and thought about doing a few things, then just drifted. Hmm, I did start, and finish, laundry. I need to either roll loads through, or maybe set that in the washer to go again and deal with what is in the dryer. Oh, and I used the folding device on several t-shirts. I tried it their way, which was just a bit off. Tweaking their system, I have it down. Now, everything I was folding has wrinkles. Next time they won't. I had held off dealing with the laundry until I could find the board and... yeah. I may clear off the table back there. But with my bed always being made now, it works too. Plus, folding on the bed mean I am closer to where they will be put up. The device is quite handy. I think I am going to enjoy it. Even without practice, I can fold shirts much more quickly.
I need to get to town, groceries for one thing. Milk, cream, and some other things. I am, sometimes now, ordering some foods through amazon. Why? Because they are items I eat regularly, items I have difficulty finding regularly, in any quantity, or at a reasonable price. Sardines in extra virgin olive oil, canned oyster, and such. Seems strange, but it helps. I simply cannot always find what I am looking for locally, and I just won't push and shove through many stores for one or two packets, at most. Buy in bulk, reorder when half way through, and don't worry. Admittedly, I am a lousy shopper but I don't think stores are really good for some types.
Then again, I am sort of comparing brands. If I find brands I like, I may see if the local stores would offer a discount for bulk purchases, and whether they would be willing to order in bulk in the first place. Ugh, one thing at a time though.
Tomorrow I am hoping to level the dryer as well. And fiddle with laundry. Maybe pick up the last of the dishes and straight the kitchen back up a bit. Or not. Whatever I can do. It's still a week of rest. I pushed a bit too much up to Christmas. But I don't want the engine to go clean down to cold either. I'll keep at it. Good night and... well, yeah, just that. Weird to be going to bed at night again.
Dreams, and such dreams.
.
.
Ah, something... dreams... I haven't been writing about all of them. I know. Some of your are curious, some are terrified, and there are reasons for such. I can't change much, or not some things. I cannot alter the track of the sun or the cycle of the moon. I can't change the road outside my home. If I damaged it, or even destroyed it, guess what? They'd just rebuild it. Some things are not in my hands to change. The question is, should I discuss it?
Well... first? This blog is not a discussion site. Or you, dear reader, would be discussing things. You aren't, you don't. This is a site for consumption, only, sadly, for my part. I'd love to chatter. I think I frighten or anger, if none do much about it. So, next? I write to get things out of my mind. Not to inform, not to discuss though I would be open to that, not to change necessarily. Happy to learn, which might bring about change, however. So, if you are here? You are here, by choice, to consume. Don't judge if you have an option to leave. Door, ass, etc. Anyway...
.
Ah, something... dreams... I haven't been writing about all of them. I know. Some of your are curious, some are terrified, and there are reasons for such. I can't change much, or not some things. I cannot alter the track of the sun or the cycle of the moon. I can't change the road outside my home. If I damaged it, or even destroyed it, guess what? They'd just rebuild it. Some things are not in my hands to change. The question is, should I discuss it?
Well... first? This blog is not a discussion site. Or you, dear reader, would be discussing things. You aren't, you don't. This is a site for consumption, only, sadly, for my part. I'd love to chatter. I think I frighten or anger, if none do much about it. So, next? I write to get things out of my mind. Not to inform, not to discuss though I would be open to that, not to change necessarily. Happy to learn, which might bring about change, however. So, if you are here? You are here, by choice, to consume. Don't judge if you have an option to leave. Door, ass, etc. Anyway...
Finally!
.
.
I can't remember how long ago it was that I purchased snowshoes, poles, boots for that, and a carryall for those things. Years, I think. And I had the purchase on my mind for much longer. For all that, today, I... finally got out there, in them, and? And without any issue, other then being on the last vapors or less of fuel. I did the circumference, of, say, two acres... maybe a bit more just goofing. I didn't have any stability issues. I realized something though. Women should be able to do these things more naturally. I went heavy pigeon-toe at the beginning, to acclimate. My body just knew how to adjust, and I tweaked even that by over-adjusting after I realized what my body was saying.
Now, I have to admit, I am not... sure how much these things really help. Some, I suppose. But I would be cautious with these in deeper snow. They are the biggest I could find. They are supposed to handle up to 350, which should give me at least 70 pounds of leeway, and maybe more like 80 to 100 now. Even so the efficiency over walking in... 8 inch snow?... was not all that much. Though, who knows.
It is some solid effort to mobilize in those things. Though, almost no matter what you do, even skiing, snow costs energy to transport through. I hope to get out enough times in the next... while... to upgrade my skills and perhaps my endurance. Then add a pack, and learn how to heat water and cook food, maybe set up a hammock or bivy, and if that gets going, then find a place to hike a bit. If I try an overnighter, it won't be so far from the vehicle, or at such an incline, that getting back, in the dark, won't be impossible. Maybe just a few hundred yards in, or such. If that goes well? I might go away for a while.
Hmm? Oh, I might do a few other things yet. And I'll keep at shoving bedtime into the evening. Later.
.
I can't remember how long ago it was that I purchased snowshoes, poles, boots for that, and a carryall for those things. Years, I think. And I had the purchase on my mind for much longer. For all that, today, I... finally got out there, in them, and? And without any issue, other then being on the last vapors or less of fuel. I did the circumference, of, say, two acres... maybe a bit more just goofing. I didn't have any stability issues. I realized something though. Women should be able to do these things more naturally. I went heavy pigeon-toe at the beginning, to acclimate. My body just knew how to adjust, and I tweaked even that by over-adjusting after I realized what my body was saying.
Now, I have to admit, I am not... sure how much these things really help. Some, I suppose. But I would be cautious with these in deeper snow. They are the biggest I could find. They are supposed to handle up to 350, which should give me at least 70 pounds of leeway, and maybe more like 80 to 100 now. Even so the efficiency over walking in... 8 inch snow?... was not all that much. Though, who knows.
It is some solid effort to mobilize in those things. Though, almost no matter what you do, even skiing, snow costs energy to transport through. I hope to get out enough times in the next... while... to upgrade my skills and perhaps my endurance. Then add a pack, and learn how to heat water and cook food, maybe set up a hammock or bivy, and if that gets going, then find a place to hike a bit. If I try an overnighter, it won't be so far from the vehicle, or at such an incline, that getting back, in the dark, won't be impossible. Maybe just a few hundred yards in, or such. If that goes well? I might go away for a while.
Hmm? Oh, I might do a few other things yet. And I'll keep at shoving bedtime into the evening. Later.
What can I do today?
.
.
Truth? Not much. Rolling out at my "midnight" in order to get to the post WAS both the dog and the pony show. Still, I might have a minor trick up my sleeve... staying awake until this evening. It's not so much that I am sore, hurt, or anything else, it's just that bring the mind to bear on any chore, or focusing just to get going, seems unlikely. Oh, some chores might be done, little things. Maybe. More accidental than on purpose. I just happen to think of something, or notice something, while I am doing something I have to do.
It is very bright out, but not for the sun. The world seems to have been frosted a bit. The little light coming through the clouds is amplified. It is a wonderful thing, although it also seems a bit unfulfilling. The sun recharges, and this light almost has that sort of brightness. But it fails to... I don't know... provide vitamin d? I'll take it though. I think I would call this the best of the worst? With the snow and being overcast it's as pretty and bright as winter gets. Actually, it sure makes me want to get out in it. Hmm... Hmm??? I'm thinking.
I don't know how or why things are working at they are. For example, I received a "bill" from HD, with a statement as to the 20th which suggested I owed nothing. I just got another one saying I owe $125. I haven't used the card since buying the appliances. Something really screwy is going on with them, and many other companies. Did they outsource billing to China or India too? Someone needs too look into these companies, from doctors and credit cards to banks, they are all really going screwy. Watch your billing closely, very closely. Something is really wrong. I just notice, from the side, too busy, tired, or ill to do more.
I'd nap if I could. What could I do? Yeah, I am thinking of trying on the snow shoes. That is what that earlier bit was about. I'm not writing well, or editing, too tired of mind for that sort of thing. No worries, just letting you know, if you see problems. Later.
.
Truth? Not much. Rolling out at my "midnight" in order to get to the post WAS both the dog and the pony show. Still, I might have a minor trick up my sleeve... staying awake until this evening. It's not so much that I am sore, hurt, or anything else, it's just that bring the mind to bear on any chore, or focusing just to get going, seems unlikely. Oh, some chores might be done, little things. Maybe. More accidental than on purpose. I just happen to think of something, or notice something, while I am doing something I have to do.
It is very bright out, but not for the sun. The world seems to have been frosted a bit. The little light coming through the clouds is amplified. It is a wonderful thing, although it also seems a bit unfulfilling. The sun recharges, and this light almost has that sort of brightness. But it fails to... I don't know... provide vitamin d? I'll take it though. I think I would call this the best of the worst? With the snow and being overcast it's as pretty and bright as winter gets. Actually, it sure makes me want to get out in it. Hmm... Hmm??? I'm thinking.
I don't know how or why things are working at they are. For example, I received a "bill" from HD, with a statement as to the 20th which suggested I owed nothing. I just got another one saying I owe $125. I haven't used the card since buying the appliances. Something really screwy is going on with them, and many other companies. Did they outsource billing to China or India too? Someone needs too look into these companies, from doctors and credit cards to banks, they are all really going screwy. Watch your billing closely, very closely. Something is really wrong. I just notice, from the side, too busy, tired, or ill to do more.
I'd nap if I could. What could I do? Yeah, I am thinking of trying on the snow shoes. That is what that earlier bit was about. I'm not writing well, or editing, too tired of mind for that sort of thing. No worries, just letting you know, if you see problems. Later.
Had to argue.
.
.
With myself. I altogether, at first, forgot to set the alarm. I woke, or sort of. I didn't think I could wake fully. I had this depressing notion that I was too late. One side of me told me to just roll over and dig in. Go back to sleep, you bum, it cooed. I ignored, if with some sting, then mustered enough strength to twist and roll and look at the time. The alarm clock read 9:00. That is the alarm clock that is right on time. I... think I want to change that. At least while I am sleeping in there. Anyway...
I knew the voice was part right. There was no way I was going to do more than do a bathroom break. Want, will, or things of fortitude, had no bearing. It was a pure mechanical fact of my physique. Mostly dead things, sometimes, can't do what they want. However, I saw a shimmer of hope. Being 9:00 gave me three hours. I might be able to get up in time to make it to the post. I might even get up in time to get a shower in before heading out. If you must aim high, aim really high? Yeah.
I don't think I went to the bathroom, though maybe. Memory is a blur. I am almost sure I didn't. I did twist and roll more so as to get to the alarm, and set it for 10:00. That was a heck of a struggle. Seems so easy. If you have ever had dream paralysis, you... have a better idea. Not quite fully paralyzed, in this instance, but it was something similar against which I struggled.
When the alarm sounded, then I think I headed to the bathroom? I just can't be sure. One of those times, or maybe later, I went. I know I could not wake then, though did not reset the alarm. I woke, thinking I had missed everything. Again, I had to struggle with flesh, will, and a recalcitrant body. It was 11:03, or so it seemed. I struggled through all, for some time, to wake. I tried to go fast enough for a shower but realized that would not happen. So, and even so barely, I finally made it out.
That is what it takes when I successfully push my schedule around in order to do something at a time I would normally be asleep. It will probably mess everything up for a bit. My body currently wants to sleep but can't. It's going to get messy, and not much will be done until I figure out the next sleep queue and get into it. And it might end up hurting. Even so, this is better than every before. The heart must be better, if probably topping out in the 20% range, up from 15%. Though the body is becoming more useful, there is probably a pretty serious limit, upon which I am trouncing. Sort of like thrashing to metal music on this ice, but... I have things to do. Back to resting until I get sleep reorganized though.
Good morning and day.
.
With myself. I altogether, at first, forgot to set the alarm. I woke, or sort of. I didn't think I could wake fully. I had this depressing notion that I was too late. One side of me told me to just roll over and dig in. Go back to sleep, you bum, it cooed. I ignored, if with some sting, then mustered enough strength to twist and roll and look at the time. The alarm clock read 9:00. That is the alarm clock that is right on time. I... think I want to change that. At least while I am sleeping in there. Anyway...
I knew the voice was part right. There was no way I was going to do more than do a bathroom break. Want, will, or things of fortitude, had no bearing. It was a pure mechanical fact of my physique. Mostly dead things, sometimes, can't do what they want. However, I saw a shimmer of hope. Being 9:00 gave me three hours. I might be able to get up in time to make it to the post. I might even get up in time to get a shower in before heading out. If you must aim high, aim really high? Yeah.
I don't think I went to the bathroom, though maybe. Memory is a blur. I am almost sure I didn't. I did twist and roll more so as to get to the alarm, and set it for 10:00. That was a heck of a struggle. Seems so easy. If you have ever had dream paralysis, you... have a better idea. Not quite fully paralyzed, in this instance, but it was something similar against which I struggled.
When the alarm sounded, then I think I headed to the bathroom? I just can't be sure. One of those times, or maybe later, I went. I know I could not wake then, though did not reset the alarm. I woke, thinking I had missed everything. Again, I had to struggle with flesh, will, and a recalcitrant body. It was 11:03, or so it seemed. I struggled through all, for some time, to wake. I tried to go fast enough for a shower but realized that would not happen. So, and even so barely, I finally made it out.
That is what it takes when I successfully push my schedule around in order to do something at a time I would normally be asleep. It will probably mess everything up for a bit. My body currently wants to sleep but can't. It's going to get messy, and not much will be done until I figure out the next sleep queue and get into it. And it might end up hurting. Even so, this is better than every before. The heart must be better, if probably topping out in the 20% range, up from 15%. Though the body is becoming more useful, there is probably a pretty serious limit, upon which I am trouncing. Sort of like thrashing to metal music on this ice, but... I have things to do. Back to resting until I get sleep reorganized though.
Good morning and day.
Yeah, well, some things.
.
.
I can't even remember what was done, only that some things got done. And I ate a bit. I am crashing though. I will take a long nap, hopefully waking in time to make it to the post office. No new snow, so far tonight anyway. Hopefully none until I can get out. The goal is to shower before I head out. Love those showers. Hopefully with enough time to cool and air dry my feet. More chores tomorrow. I'm dragging though. Still, I'll do what I can.
Oh, I have it on good authority that I did not miss recycling... it isn't this week. I did see a truck turn onto a side street, fine. It seems that just wasn't what it seemed. Which is good. I am sure I had the trash out in time, as it wasn't picked up at a neighbors until later morning or early afternoon, 12:00 to 13:00 or something, memory isn't exact. All good. Hmm, I'll bring those in when I go to the post office. I am trying to remember to not leave them out. I always try, I suppose. But I have been doing better.
Oh, something else? I am, beyond getting things fixed, arranged, clean, ordered, and with processes to maintain those things... working on some interior decoration. No, my poor-witted friend, not as in purple, or paisley, or pastels. Think dark, wood, steel, weapons, brass, holy or storied, perhaps gothic, maybe a bit on the old or archaic side, with a strong hint of the manly. It may not be really enjoyed by all others, but men without their own man-caves might... appreciate. I wonder if there is room somewhere for a smaller fight club? *grins* OH! I'm not using the upstairs! That would do. And, if cops, or cops who hadn't joined, or miscreant wife-types with no appreciation, became problems... Perhaps a back, covered, pseudo hidden step entrance could be created. Nothing like a functional dojo of one sort or anther to... fill the man-cave bill. I probably should next begin working on less lethal arms, such as staves, nunchukas, etc.
Later.
.
I can't even remember what was done, only that some things got done. And I ate a bit. I am crashing though. I will take a long nap, hopefully waking in time to make it to the post office. No new snow, so far tonight anyway. Hopefully none until I can get out. The goal is to shower before I head out. Love those showers. Hopefully with enough time to cool and air dry my feet. More chores tomorrow. I'm dragging though. Still, I'll do what I can.
Oh, I have it on good authority that I did not miss recycling... it isn't this week. I did see a truck turn onto a side street, fine. It seems that just wasn't what it seemed. Which is good. I am sure I had the trash out in time, as it wasn't picked up at a neighbors until later morning or early afternoon, 12:00 to 13:00 or something, memory isn't exact. All good. Hmm, I'll bring those in when I go to the post office. I am trying to remember to not leave them out. I always try, I suppose. But I have been doing better.
Oh, something else? I am, beyond getting things fixed, arranged, clean, ordered, and with processes to maintain those things... working on some interior decoration. No, my poor-witted friend, not as in purple, or paisley, or pastels. Think dark, wood, steel, weapons, brass, holy or storied, perhaps gothic, maybe a bit on the old or archaic side, with a strong hint of the manly. It may not be really enjoyed by all others, but men without their own man-caves might... appreciate. I wonder if there is room somewhere for a smaller fight club? *grins* OH! I'm not using the upstairs! That would do. And, if cops, or cops who hadn't joined, or miscreant wife-types with no appreciation, became problems... Perhaps a back, covered, pseudo hidden step entrance could be created. Nothing like a functional dojo of one sort or anther to... fill the man-cave bill. I probably should next begin working on less lethal arms, such as staves, nunchukas, etc.
Later.
Monday, January 2, 2017
A bit cranky.
.
.
Just of body. I slept well, but I don't think I moved enough. Sleeping is somewhere between an art, a trick, and a science. The pillow, or head rest, has to be just right. The temperature needs to be stable. I need to move some, but not too much. I have gotten used to waking frequently, but it would be better not to wake. Then again, I have always waken through the night, even when I didn't get out of bed. Periods where I was mostly awake. Sounds from quite some distance can sometimes wake me, the cats, local domestic animals, wild animals and birds... a barn owl I think, from time to time, and perhaps a hawk of some sort. Sometimes their calls, sometimes just their movements. If anything is off, or if I sleep too much or too little, my body can be cranky.
Hmm, I think it was too little movement, perhaps too deep of a sleep, and... maybe my pillow being a bit off? It is strange to think of how many things have to be just right, that we, or just me?, needs to attend while I am also supposed to be sleeping. Some think it is all natural. I suspect, for the healthy, it might be... or it might be closer to that. But for folk such as myself, we don't have the natural overhead of energy reserves. If we burn off what we have, we end up sort of on our own or s.o.l. and just having to suffer or fuss enough consciously to get it right. No worries, just an understanding.
Ah, the fellas, after while clearing other driveways, hit mine a second time and... it really helped. I couldn't go back over it. I was finished when I was done. But that slushy underlayer was annoying. I noted, sometime, that they had hit it again. Fantastic. I may still get some salt out there and on things again. Especially with the main of the slush and slush material gone. It ended up being sunny, at least for the part of the morning I was awake to see. That and salt, and maybe a bit of more warmth, and she'll stay in tipper shape.
I realize that while I can do some work in the cool, or in the home with access to cool, fans, and such, I will always have to struggle greatly with work in higher temps. That is simply outside of my parameters, almost ever. If I do it, from time to time, it generally takes me down hard. Too hard to keep going. Spring is okay, fall and winter are good usually, but summer is out. I may see about some things next summer.
Oh, the second from the last sudoku, I did get to 5 seconds again. It's been a while. I hadn't been playing as regularly, what with how much work I have been doing since fall, and maybe a bit of the last of summer? I am trying to do it more regularly, again. At least while I am resting. I still want to hit 3 seconds. It is only slightly more impossible than 5 seconds and will give me a grin from ear to ear. I think I can, possible, too.
I am working on increasing my gab following, just for kicks. I am up to... nearly 4k. I'd like to hit 20k. Yeah, I may be going away, it's not really my thing. But there is no reason not to go away from something will on top. As I suggested, I'd like to stick with it through Trump's first 100 days, which won't start for nearly a month. I'd like to get better news sources, and news checks, than what I can get elsewhere. Plus, increasing the numbers is... something mindless to do while resting.
Work? Yes, tonight. Gathering more dishes, a shower, setting up the dishes, some laundry, and a bit of picking up just to get back to where I was when all this started. Oh, and perhaps leveling at least the dryer, and maybe beginning that on the range. I HATE having the stove be slightly off kilter. If I can't do it myself, or if I get stuck, I may see about help soon. I'll probably still be taking it, mostly, easy this week too. Then, if I can get caught up with the house, and take care of the appliances while maintaining snow removal, I'll take the weekend down hard, then start tearing into my main bedroom next week. I really think I can kick that out in a week, max... save for maybe steam vacuuming that cold room and the carpet drying... Well, I suppose I could use the electric heat in there for a few days. Still, drying carpets is always what seems to take the longest.
It's a beautiful thing, to have the home coming together... mechanically, functionally, materially, and in cleanliness. I may make one more shot at the plumbing under the sink... which will require new p-trap parts. I think that is the problem. Though I did find another part that is a problem and will be adjusting the bolts, and perhaps seeing what sort of glue might work. The rubber gasket is leaking, for whatever reason. Might not be tight enough, and might not even be able to be tightened? I'll... figure it out. If my efforts fail, though, if not this month as I have costs accumulating, I may call a plumber next month... for that, the faucet install, and a general round of advice and/or quotes on other work. Hmm... I'd like to try to change out the washers for the shower and tub handles before he arrives. That way, if I mess that up, I'll... see if he'll give me a learning for a job.
Later.
.
Just of body. I slept well, but I don't think I moved enough. Sleeping is somewhere between an art, a trick, and a science. The pillow, or head rest, has to be just right. The temperature needs to be stable. I need to move some, but not too much. I have gotten used to waking frequently, but it would be better not to wake. Then again, I have always waken through the night, even when I didn't get out of bed. Periods where I was mostly awake. Sounds from quite some distance can sometimes wake me, the cats, local domestic animals, wild animals and birds... a barn owl I think, from time to time, and perhaps a hawk of some sort. Sometimes their calls, sometimes just their movements. If anything is off, or if I sleep too much or too little, my body can be cranky.
Hmm, I think it was too little movement, perhaps too deep of a sleep, and... maybe my pillow being a bit off? It is strange to think of how many things have to be just right, that we, or just me?, needs to attend while I am also supposed to be sleeping. Some think it is all natural. I suspect, for the healthy, it might be... or it might be closer to that. But for folk such as myself, we don't have the natural overhead of energy reserves. If we burn off what we have, we end up sort of on our own or s.o.l. and just having to suffer or fuss enough consciously to get it right. No worries, just an understanding.
Ah, the fellas, after while clearing other driveways, hit mine a second time and... it really helped. I couldn't go back over it. I was finished when I was done. But that slushy underlayer was annoying. I noted, sometime, that they had hit it again. Fantastic. I may still get some salt out there and on things again. Especially with the main of the slush and slush material gone. It ended up being sunny, at least for the part of the morning I was awake to see. That and salt, and maybe a bit of more warmth, and she'll stay in tipper shape.
I realize that while I can do some work in the cool, or in the home with access to cool, fans, and such, I will always have to struggle greatly with work in higher temps. That is simply outside of my parameters, almost ever. If I do it, from time to time, it generally takes me down hard. Too hard to keep going. Spring is okay, fall and winter are good usually, but summer is out. I may see about some things next summer.
Oh, the second from the last sudoku, I did get to 5 seconds again. It's been a while. I hadn't been playing as regularly, what with how much work I have been doing since fall, and maybe a bit of the last of summer? I am trying to do it more regularly, again. At least while I am resting. I still want to hit 3 seconds. It is only slightly more impossible than 5 seconds and will give me a grin from ear to ear. I think I can, possible, too.
I am working on increasing my gab following, just for kicks. I am up to... nearly 4k. I'd like to hit 20k. Yeah, I may be going away, it's not really my thing. But there is no reason not to go away from something will on top. As I suggested, I'd like to stick with it through Trump's first 100 days, which won't start for nearly a month. I'd like to get better news sources, and news checks, than what I can get elsewhere. Plus, increasing the numbers is... something mindless to do while resting.
Work? Yes, tonight. Gathering more dishes, a shower, setting up the dishes, some laundry, and a bit of picking up just to get back to where I was when all this started. Oh, and perhaps leveling at least the dryer, and maybe beginning that on the range. I HATE having the stove be slightly off kilter. If I can't do it myself, or if I get stuck, I may see about help soon. I'll probably still be taking it, mostly, easy this week too. Then, if I can get caught up with the house, and take care of the appliances while maintaining snow removal, I'll take the weekend down hard, then start tearing into my main bedroom next week. I really think I can kick that out in a week, max... save for maybe steam vacuuming that cold room and the carpet drying... Well, I suppose I could use the electric heat in there for a few days. Still, drying carpets is always what seems to take the longest.
It's a beautiful thing, to have the home coming together... mechanically, functionally, materially, and in cleanliness. I may make one more shot at the plumbing under the sink... which will require new p-trap parts. I think that is the problem. Though I did find another part that is a problem and will be adjusting the bolts, and perhaps seeing what sort of glue might work. The rubber gasket is leaking, for whatever reason. Might not be tight enough, and might not even be able to be tightened? I'll... figure it out. If my efforts fail, though, if not this month as I have costs accumulating, I may call a plumber next month... for that, the faucet install, and a general round of advice and/or quotes on other work. Hmm... I'd like to try to change out the washers for the shower and tub handles before he arrives. That way, if I mess that up, I'll... see if he'll give me a learning for a job.
Later.
Three for four, or so.
.
.
It wasn't as much of a push as I had thought. It was a lot of work, as things go. Shoveling first. The back half was four to five inches, the fore half was more like two to three inches. The salt may have helped. Still, even a bit wet, more than I would like is trying to stick. I'd like to salt again but it has already started to snow again. Ah well. Not only had they been working and helping doing my drive, they brought something in and cleaned my frontage areas. Awesome! That makes it a lot easier for backing in, for trash and recycling, for packages, and just because. If that melts it becomes a lake, if not moved out a bit, which then becomes plate ice. Very happy thing to see that opened up this morning. Yeah, I was going to hit it. I hadn't even bothered looking until I had pushed a mainline shovel through to near there. Just looked up, took a happy step back to clear and make sure, then just grinned.
Recycling next. I noticed it was coming through. I didn't have all that much, but enough. Then trash and cat litter. That stuff weighs a bit after a bit of use and just as is. I start with three sacks of the stuff between three boxes, then add another sack to fresh and help keep it going... at least if I am keeping up on clearing poop and mixing in pee. If not it is just better to cut my losses. Once cat litter goes to far south there just isn't much to be done for it. Yeah, I really do keep up. Nearly daily. Slowly, through the year, I have been adding items to my daily to-do list. And I do well, save when I have way to much other. Even then I don't do too badly... two days instead of one, between cleanings... and that's good enough for a short term. Yes, I made my bed this morning.
I may put some salt out as I prepare to go to the post office. I just need a little break. I did all that work all in one go. Perhaps not a man's man's day job, but not bad. And I'm not done. I might be able to compile another bag of bureaucrat loot as well as make it to the post office.
I'll be able to sleep with a mostly clear conscience. If it took all night to finally do some things, I did get to them. Not even too late for pickup, I don't think. But to salt or not? Hmm... might check the forecast. Not always right but it's what there is. Later or good day, and night.
---------
It STILL counts! I did get to the post office. There was mail, but the business portion is closed. I am still counting it, even if I have to figure out how to be up, and out, tomorrow. Packages, probably, will only be returned by business days in, though... maybe not. I need to get what I can as soon as possible. Bleh. Oh, and it looks like I still missed recycling. Double bleh. Good night, and day.
.
It wasn't as much of a push as I had thought. It was a lot of work, as things go. Shoveling first. The back half was four to five inches, the fore half was more like two to three inches. The salt may have helped. Still, even a bit wet, more than I would like is trying to stick. I'd like to salt again but it has already started to snow again. Ah well. Not only had they been working and helping doing my drive, they brought something in and cleaned my frontage areas. Awesome! That makes it a lot easier for backing in, for trash and recycling, for packages, and just because. If that melts it becomes a lake, if not moved out a bit, which then becomes plate ice. Very happy thing to see that opened up this morning. Yeah, I was going to hit it. I hadn't even bothered looking until I had pushed a mainline shovel through to near there. Just looked up, took a happy step back to clear and make sure, then just grinned.
Recycling next. I noticed it was coming through. I didn't have all that much, but enough. Then trash and cat litter. That stuff weighs a bit after a bit of use and just as is. I start with three sacks of the stuff between three boxes, then add another sack to fresh and help keep it going... at least if I am keeping up on clearing poop and mixing in pee. If not it is just better to cut my losses. Once cat litter goes to far south there just isn't much to be done for it. Yeah, I really do keep up. Nearly daily. Slowly, through the year, I have been adding items to my daily to-do list. And I do well, save when I have way to much other. Even then I don't do too badly... two days instead of one, between cleanings... and that's good enough for a short term. Yes, I made my bed this morning.
I may put some salt out as I prepare to go to the post office. I just need a little break. I did all that work all in one go. Perhaps not a man's man's day job, but not bad. And I'm not done. I might be able to compile another bag of bureaucrat loot as well as make it to the post office.
I'll be able to sleep with a mostly clear conscience. If it took all night to finally do some things, I did get to them. Not even too late for pickup, I don't think. But to salt or not? Hmm... might check the forecast. Not always right but it's what there is. Later or good day, and night.
---------
It STILL counts! I did get to the post office. There was mail, but the business portion is closed. I am still counting it, even if I have to figure out how to be up, and out, tomorrow. Packages, probably, will only be returned by business days in, though... maybe not. I need to get what I can as soon as possible. Bleh. Oh, and it looks like I still missed recycling. Double bleh. Good night, and day.
Enjoying the rest.
.
.
And, yet, wanting to get back into the game. I did cook the beans. Instead of making a hamburger mash with them, I simply added ham again. *boop* When oxygen was produced on submarines, hydrogen had to be be trickled out and off-board, simply allowed to dissipate into the ocean. I seem to be doing that too. I don't remember it being so loud or... odoriferous. Beans... do have their purpose. I won't complain.
We have been snowed upon again. It looks like a decent pile of it out there. Nothing extreme, just enough that it will be some real work. Three, five, seven inches? I'm guessing four to six but can't really tell without digging in. It might, really, just be two. I'm never really sure. Besides, how much fell and how much is still on the ground, in any one particular place, is another thing.
If I can do the driveway, which I am hoping, I would like to get to the post office today. Packages. Yeah, more of those. Always more. Other than that, if that, only getting to bed is left to my abilities. I will leave the phone on, in case someone tries to call for business. Not sure I will be able to answer in time, though it is possible if I keep the phone close enough.
Oh, wait. I best get the trash together and out! Yeah, it really needs out, and cat litter too. I reallllly don't want to. If I can squeeze and push ans shove, I will do these things. Ugh!
I'll tell you, something is just off. Even with the furnace cranked a bit, I am a bit cool. Not sure why. Though I think it has been colder than usual, and for longer than usual. It just... settles in and that is that. A warm spell, or maybe even just some sun might help. Both would really help. Then again, I might well not see it as I am sleeping. But warming up a bit, sometimes, lasts through the night. A warming, then cloud cover, and we can be at or above freezing for days.
I best get on to some of these things. I really need to shovel at least a space for trash to go out, if I want that. But definitely the whole drive if I want to drive out. I just won't, save emergencies, drive pack the snow down. Already having trouble getting through some hard packed snow/ice as is. Yeah, I best hit it. Later or good night... and good morning.
.
And, yet, wanting to get back into the game. I did cook the beans. Instead of making a hamburger mash with them, I simply added ham again. *boop* When oxygen was produced on submarines, hydrogen had to be be trickled out and off-board, simply allowed to dissipate into the ocean. I seem to be doing that too. I don't remember it being so loud or... odoriferous. Beans... do have their purpose. I won't complain.
We have been snowed upon again. It looks like a decent pile of it out there. Nothing extreme, just enough that it will be some real work. Three, five, seven inches? I'm guessing four to six but can't really tell without digging in. It might, really, just be two. I'm never really sure. Besides, how much fell and how much is still on the ground, in any one particular place, is another thing.
If I can do the driveway, which I am hoping, I would like to get to the post office today. Packages. Yeah, more of those. Always more. Other than that, if that, only getting to bed is left to my abilities. I will leave the phone on, in case someone tries to call for business. Not sure I will be able to answer in time, though it is possible if I keep the phone close enough.
Oh, wait. I best get the trash together and out! Yeah, it really needs out, and cat litter too. I reallllly don't want to. If I can squeeze and push ans shove, I will do these things. Ugh!
I'll tell you, something is just off. Even with the furnace cranked a bit, I am a bit cool. Not sure why. Though I think it has been colder than usual, and for longer than usual. It just... settles in and that is that. A warm spell, or maybe even just some sun might help. Both would really help. Then again, I might well not see it as I am sleeping. But warming up a bit, sometimes, lasts through the night. A warming, then cloud cover, and we can be at or above freezing for days.
I best get on to some of these things. I really need to shovel at least a space for trash to go out, if I want that. But definitely the whole drive if I want to drive out. I just won't, save emergencies, drive pack the snow down. Already having trouble getting through some hard packed snow/ice as is. Yeah, I best hit it. Later or good night... and good morning.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Another day.
.
.
What was done, was done. I didn't do more after what was written. I do suspect carvedilol. It just... does that. At least, at this start, and so far, other then pains from sleeping a bit to hard for that first bit, the medicine isn't causing other pains... so far.
I have meat thawed for today. I also soaked beans, which will be drained and set to cook shortly. Just small white beans and hamburger, but the two, together, will make a meal that should last three or four days. Nothing fancy, but for one of several reasons, I don't taste much anyway. Yeah, white beans are carb heavy, but also potassium heavy. I like adding potassium heavy stuff from time to time, just the better forms of it. I'm not sure if the pills really add that much. Time will tell. Though, too, I am not very good at taking medicine. I miss, day, or night, or both med times, fairly often. I'm out of the habit and was never good at the habit.
Oh, well, actually, I did get out and put more salt on the driveway. It just isn't thawing well. Then again, it seems as if the cold has set in. Last night, and often when I have been checking, it has been hovering around 20 or a bit below. The sun doesn't seem to be out much, either. In the 30's, or with some good sun at the right times, or better both, the salt should bust through. Then again, this is a bit of an unusual cold snap. Not quite a deep freeze, just... a bit deeper and longer than usual? It seems so, though I could be mistaken. I'm just going by a rough memory and how that equates to today.
I'll try to get a few of those things on the list that remain. Hmm, the furnace needs tuned, I might get another shower as well. Oh, and I best drain and reset the beans with fresh water and heat themselves... and check the burger. Should be thawed. Later.
.
What was done, was done. I didn't do more after what was written. I do suspect carvedilol. It just... does that. At least, at this start, and so far, other then pains from sleeping a bit to hard for that first bit, the medicine isn't causing other pains... so far.
I have meat thawed for today. I also soaked beans, which will be drained and set to cook shortly. Just small white beans and hamburger, but the two, together, will make a meal that should last three or four days. Nothing fancy, but for one of several reasons, I don't taste much anyway. Yeah, white beans are carb heavy, but also potassium heavy. I like adding potassium heavy stuff from time to time, just the better forms of it. I'm not sure if the pills really add that much. Time will tell. Though, too, I am not very good at taking medicine. I miss, day, or night, or both med times, fairly often. I'm out of the habit and was never good at the habit.
Oh, well, actually, I did get out and put more salt on the driveway. It just isn't thawing well. Then again, it seems as if the cold has set in. Last night, and often when I have been checking, it has been hovering around 20 or a bit below. The sun doesn't seem to be out much, either. In the 30's, or with some good sun at the right times, or better both, the salt should bust through. Then again, this is a bit of an unusual cold snap. Not quite a deep freeze, just... a bit deeper and longer than usual? It seems so, though I could be mistaken. I'm just going by a rough memory and how that equates to today.
I'll try to get a few of those things on the list that remain. Hmm, the furnace needs tuned, I might get another shower as well. Oh, and I best drain and reset the beans with fresh water and heat themselves... and check the burger. Should be thawed. Later.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Showers are a wonderful invention.
.
.
Not an invention? Oh yes they were. Heck, there are moderns (in both sense of the term) who do not bath (or shower) regularly. Some are just... well... primitive moderns. Others are merely alive in our times, but have never been and probably never will be modern, or civil, as we see it. Water has to be available, and plentiful enough for the population. The temperature has to be warm enough, or the society has to be modern enough to regulate temperatures where bathing (or showering) could take place. We live an easier life, in some ways, than any emperor, caesar, king, nobility, or wealthy merchant in history. Anyway, just because I have access doesn't mean I can always take advantage of it. I do appreciate it when I can.
I am trying a trick with laundry. True? I'll know soon enough. It was suggested that balling up a couple of rounds of aluminum foil and putting them in with the clothes in the dryer would keep static cling at bay. True? I am about to find out. And, what was put through is terrible about static cling. Even if it works, will it work on everything? Time will tell. I need to deal with a lot of laundry. I can't find that stupid folding board, so will just have to do it by hand. Bleh.
I think I'll make something easy to eat. Popcorn? Sure. It's not the best of foods but it will have to do. Buttered popcorn. I'll watch a show, eat, then hit the trash, cat litter, and then deal with the laundry that needs put up. Breaks as needed, but I am going to attempt to push through.
It is sort of frustrating. My goal is to change towels after up to two uses or two/three days. As well, laundry is on a schedule of events, and has a process. Same with several things. However, when something gets backed up, or several things as now, I can't go ahead with everything. I am getting there, but it will take a while to get things settled, sorted, given a place and time, and then be kept up on. I have been doing what I can, of what is available, such as making the bed... even after a nap. But the towels are backed up. I can change them out, once dry, but I have to be cautious. I only have so many towels. Hmm... I'm working on it.
Later.
.
Not an invention? Oh yes they were. Heck, there are moderns (in both sense of the term) who do not bath (or shower) regularly. Some are just... well... primitive moderns. Others are merely alive in our times, but have never been and probably never will be modern, or civil, as we see it. Water has to be available, and plentiful enough for the population. The temperature has to be warm enough, or the society has to be modern enough to regulate temperatures where bathing (or showering) could take place. We live an easier life, in some ways, than any emperor, caesar, king, nobility, or wealthy merchant in history. Anyway, just because I have access doesn't mean I can always take advantage of it. I do appreciate it when I can.
I am trying a trick with laundry. True? I'll know soon enough. It was suggested that balling up a couple of rounds of aluminum foil and putting them in with the clothes in the dryer would keep static cling at bay. True? I am about to find out. And, what was put through is terrible about static cling. Even if it works, will it work on everything? Time will tell. I need to deal with a lot of laundry. I can't find that stupid folding board, so will just have to do it by hand. Bleh.
I think I'll make something easy to eat. Popcorn? Sure. It's not the best of foods but it will have to do. Buttered popcorn. I'll watch a show, eat, then hit the trash, cat litter, and then deal with the laundry that needs put up. Breaks as needed, but I am going to attempt to push through.
It is sort of frustrating. My goal is to change towels after up to two uses or two/three days. As well, laundry is on a schedule of events, and has a process. Same with several things. However, when something gets backed up, or several things as now, I can't go ahead with everything. I am getting there, but it will take a while to get things settled, sorted, given a place and time, and then be kept up on. I have been doing what I can, of what is available, such as making the bed... even after a nap. But the towels are backed up. I can change them out, once dry, but I have to be cautious. I only have so many towels. Hmm... I'm working on it.
Later.
Well, I am getting at it.
.
.
Beside making the bed, I have started on laundry. Next a shower. I should be able to get the few remaining dirty dishes rounded up, though I might collect and remove trash first. I think I'll do a cat litter change while I am at that. I have been doing very well at keeping the litter cleaned out and mixed. Litter lasts a very long time if you can keep up on it. Oh, and I cleaned the toilet because it needed it. Now, just a bit off, and I hit it... but only if I don't hit it before it gets a bit off. I am improving. It's just, when I am trying to do too many things, some things simply get lost in the shuffle... for a bit.
I am still off, no pain pill today but I am thinking about it. I probably will. I want to do these chores, perhaps a few more, and still good with the snow does, in or out. It's dark but I have flashlights, headlamps, and little concern. I just don't get hurt by falling, yet, all that much. I suppose, at some age, that will become a concern. I handled a really bad spill last winter, I think. flat out on my back on a sheet of ice. Meh.
The girls have been fed. I probably will eat something after the shower and dishes. I have turned the heat up, sometimes that can help. Not a bad day so far. Late, but I'll use what time I have, when I have it. I think I can get it today, now that I know what the problem is. All of it? When have I ever promised that. And, even so, some days I do all and more. I'll just have to see. Later.
.
Beside making the bed, I have started on laundry. Next a shower. I should be able to get the few remaining dirty dishes rounded up, though I might collect and remove trash first. I think I'll do a cat litter change while I am at that. I have been doing very well at keeping the litter cleaned out and mixed. Litter lasts a very long time if you can keep up on it. Oh, and I cleaned the toilet because it needed it. Now, just a bit off, and I hit it... but only if I don't hit it before it gets a bit off. I am improving. It's just, when I am trying to do too many things, some things simply get lost in the shuffle... for a bit.
I am still off, no pain pill today but I am thinking about it. I probably will. I want to do these chores, perhaps a few more, and still good with the snow does, in or out. It's dark but I have flashlights, headlamps, and little concern. I just don't get hurt by falling, yet, all that much. I suppose, at some age, that will become a concern. I handled a really bad spill last winter, I think. flat out on my back on a sheet of ice. Meh.
The girls have been fed. I probably will eat something after the shower and dishes. I have turned the heat up, sometimes that can help. Not a bad day so far. Late, but I'll use what time I have, when I have it. I think I can get it today, now that I know what the problem is. All of it? When have I ever promised that. And, even so, some days I do all and more. I'll just have to see. Later.
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