Awake and well.

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Comfortable, smooth, clear.  In the low 70s or high 60s everywhere inside, 54 out there.  Slept very well, awoke easily.  If work doesn't happen quite today, it will soon.  I am just about recovered from the higher summer heat, as things smooth to lower temps.  If it gets back to the 90s, that might trip things up.  But, for now, things are smoothing with temps in the mid 80s, as highs.

Teeth brushed.  Pee jug washed out.  Keeping up on that is tiring.  But, if I could keep up on medicine, I wouldn't need as much upkeep.  And, that takes things being heat depressed makes difficult.  If I can get on, and keep on, medicine, I only fill a jug about once every five to even seven days.  Just having gotten back on medicines, after various meanderings, on and off, I filled that jug in two nights.  Ugh.  Still, I am, much more closely, keeping water off than I had been most of the summer.  The heat was driving me to drink, and causing me to forget medicine.

I am trying to read through some of my overlocker manual.  I have lessons coming up.  I'd like to get a rough overview of the manual, what's in it very roughly, and look over parts of the machine.  I won't learn it, or all it can do, in a few days.  So I'm not trying to do that.  Just... get a feel for how instructions are outlined, details about the machine such as where the main adjustments are, and what they do.

As to what happens, when you try to do a four thread overlock, with the wrong settings?  That will just take time to sort.  Are the settings, or ranges, required?  Or will the system create excess, or two tight, of stitches?  That will take time to sort out on the... 96 or so stitch types this machine can do.  And, I... won't memorize those.  My goal is to try each stitch typ, over time.

The thing with the stitch types, is that they are for specific materials.  Or, at least, certain fabrics work best with certain stitches.  I have two, maybe considered three, main fabrics, currently, and one lining fabric.  The shop only seems to carry cotton, quilting, fabric.  And some batting.  So, for me to find other fabrics, it looks like JoAnn's and, perhaps, another few local shops?  I don't know.  Will look, in time.

Yes, most of the fabric I have purchased has been from Amazon.  Until I become more able to get out, that is what I am left with.  As things cool, getting out is more likely.  Getting to town, even now, will probably be in the 90s.  In the mid 80s out here, it is still hot in town.  Hotter.  Cities are miserably hot places.  Even smaller ones.  Then again, I've spent what I had on equipment, notions, and such, for now.  It'll be a bit before I tear into various fabrics.

Well... on to waking, and then dishes.  I am almost certain to hit dishes this morning.  And before long.  Oh, and maybe trash out before I get too comfortable.  Then the web, maybe some gaming, then work.  I think gaming is helping me... push out.  I bought two arcade games, but also a Doom game.  I can't find the disk for that, so just bought it on the machine.  It was inexpensive enough, and on sale.  Now it is just on the machine, or a simple download if I take it off for any reason.  Barring a major electrical storm that wipes the world, or some such, it's good.  Then again, at that point, the whole program changes and I have more serious worries.

Good morning, day, and whatever else you may be facing.  Later.

Yea? No.

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Just can't get to things.  I feel good.  It was only in the mid 80s out there, last I checked... 85 or so.  The sun is up, out.  It really is a nice day.  Just... not today.

I am feeling better.  Not too cold, not too hot.  I have played some of the games.  I am not sure if the controls aren't well done in the ps4 version of the games.  But, to be honest, I think they were pretty bad on the arcade games too.  It was part of the schtick... like carnival games.  You don't get a fair contest.  Still, I am improving.  Not... as quickly as I would like.  But, unlike when I was younger, I simply can't play for hours on end.

It's something, to do... when I'm not looking at tools, or systems, repairs, upgrades, ideas, regarding everything from auto and motorcycle mechanics to sewing, gaming, and other hobbies, projects, and such.  It gives me something to... dream about if nothing else.  Though I am... beginning... to finish a few loops and get to where I can start doing things.

It is getting warmer in here, up to 79 near the computer, if the mid 70s elsewhere.  Yes, I shut the upstairs down, and put the ac and other fans on before it got too warm.  I think it had gotten to 72, in the middle of the room.  But that is not too much trouble.  I love having fresh air filter through.  It makes life a lot better.

I am hungry, I just don't have... much.  I have canned food.  I suppose I could hit that.  A stew, with added veggies.  Nothing fancy, but it would do well enough.  Maybe some canned fruit.  Not fancy, but it might work.  Do I have a clean small pot though?  Bleh.  I'll look.  Later.

Nice!

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Still a bit cool, 54 at around 07:50?  But, the sun is out, coming up.  Green, outside, too.  From my lawn to the field next door.  Wonderful.  Love it when it does green up.  I haven't had to water for weeks.  Enough rain, from time to time.  I have only watered for about two weeks this summer.  So, as for drought?  I'm... not... so sure.

Feeling pretty good.  Thinking about hitting dishes, showering, then getting dressed to go out and do a bit outside.  First, cutting some weeds.  If the trimmer will run.  Then, perhaps, getting the hatch rods changed.  That will be it for today, if I can do that, assuming I can get dishes and a shower resolved first.

I opened the front door, it was getting just a bit stuffy.  turned on some fans, to move air.  The upstairs is open, with the alternative fans running.  Fresh air, love it.  And, upstairs and down are all open and from one to the other.  It allows a lot more airflow.  While still cool, I am enjoying it.

I did find the thread.  I had in mind the cone shape that the thread is, in basic form.  But, they were in boxes.  I had forgotten that.  Overlooked them a dozen times, possibly even moving them out of the way, without realizing it was what I was looking for.  All good.  Actually, I have black and cream, not white.  Cream fits more things.  Still, will need white before long, probably blue (for at least one of my quilts), though grey and a few other colors are okay.  The thing, with a serger anyway, is that only one thread will possibly be seen.  So, I really don't need a lot of various colors, just one larger cone.  To that end, I am now considering buying a large color collection, of singles, and finding less expensive, longer length, bulk threads... while it doesn't matter what color, a few basics might still be best, like grey, white, black, blue, cream, and maybe red?  Even those may be mixed, just... because.  But those will be by price and reasonable quality.  As well, I'll want to craft an open display, for those.  Pegboard, perhaps?

All theory, until it is done.  Even then, that is all just to make function more doable.  But... you still have to use what you just developed.  To be honest, it isn't that much work, but it does take a bit.

Various responses.

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Well, it's how I take them.  Without receiving new vids, at y.t., because my social credit score is abysmal, then to see these pop?  Yep.  Not sure how it works.  Some of these are from similar singers, or movies/shows.  But some of them are... very... off-topic, in one sense.  Yet... at least to me... make perfect sense.  It's... the little things.

What they all mean, I won't try to explain.  Either it makes sense, to you, or it doesn't.  Entertaining, either way, I should suspect.  Yea.

Very good.

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Awake, at 03:38.  One of my favorite numbers.  Now to sort out the world.

It was 68/70 upstairs, is 74/74/74 down here, and 52 outside.  The hygrometer outside reads 100% humidity.  Indoors it is ready 56%.  I am sure it isn't that humid.  Then again, maybe... being monsoon season.  If so, or even if not that high but higher, humidity, at altitude, just feels much different.  Sometimes it can be a bit stuff, but usually, when it warms while humid, the humidity is evaporated quickly.  We can have cool and moist/humid, but not hot and humid... or very rarely.

While sleeping, I kept thinking about the things I plan to do.  There are some tasks with the Xterra, beyond the hatch bar replacements.  Oil change... including oil filter, air filter change, cabin air filter, and checking brakes, and fluids.  And, in time, either way, changing radiator fluid, perhaps some of the others.  How deep do I want to go?  Not... too deep.

And, while doing things, I would like to look around.  See where the starter is, the alternator, and some other items which can fail.  Learn how those are changed, and decide if I could do those types of jobs.  Probably not, but maybe.

As well, sewing will be going forward before long.  I have one last piece for the top of my double work tables, and I need to clear space for those and get them up and arranged.  As well, I may consider what type of pvc... and size... to use for leg extensions, if needed.  Then obtain those, get them cut and capped, and on.  I will either need one for every leg.  But if the legs, where they seam, are too close together, I may just get one larger pvc piece for those side-by-side legs.

Then, to figure out patterns!  Sheesh, those things are worse than electrical diagrams, or engineering diagrams!  Not written by women, or for women, or for anyone but some union employee who writes adult things, in children's terms, and without definitions to be honest.  Some of it is, or can be, correct, some of it is just bogus.

So, yea, I have been working on things, all night, in my mind.  Figuring out what I can wear, when it gets cooler.  How to get to places in the engine.  How to sort the sewing room better.  Many things.  On the mind.  Doing them, partly, even in my dreams.  And, yet, I realize... I am quite close to death.  Perhaps not as the crow, or time, flies.  But by nearness to physical death.  Work is... more than it seems, to me.

I have things in the house to do, too.  I still have to feed myself.  Things to do.  I don't know.  But, I guess I can plan, hope, work, tinker, and just sit when required.  Though, as it cools, I may have a much better chance to get back to things?  I can sure hope.

I did a bit of sorting, this morning, before coming down.  I put the serger in a case.  Wasn't sure it would fit, as that is for the jenome.  But it seems to fit.  As well, I added a few notions, scissors, and shears to the soft-side carry case, getting ready for my lesson.  I am now looking for the thread cones.  I should have four white and four black, maybe some others?  Polyester.  Quality?  That is always a question.  Until you have tried enough brands, you never do know with any certainty.  And... even a good brand can have a bad batch.  But... I have to find those!  I was sure I had taken them up.  But they aren't anywhere I can find.  Bleh.  I am sure they will have some at the shop.  And, I want to get some if their brands are different than the ones I have.  But, I'm not sure I want to buy more, now.  Ugh.  Always something.

If I can wake well enough, I really want to hit the counters, dishes, get a shower, trim and maybe shave, and perhaps do a load of whites.  Nothing fancy, but something.  As well, find those thread cones, get them packed in, and do more work upstairs.  Feeling pretty good.  A bit sleepy, as I am adjusting to the new schedule.  Hoping things even out, as the world cools, so I can get back to work.

Almost dead, maybe.  But I won't quit.  I may stop, no choice.  But I'll be scheming to get things done right until my last breath.  Even when I can't, I can think about it.  I dream of tearing down an engine, and putting it back together correctly.  I dream about making a few quilts, and getting better with each one, until I can send a few quality products to a few folk.  We'll see.  Later.

Just some gaming.

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Ugh, might be too old for some games.  Then again, I didn't get gud overnight, to start.  Still, I'm giving it a few plays.  I suppose, in time, perhaps a bit better?

It is up to 68, but at 17:41, I don't see it warming much more today.  Oh, it could.  The clouds could go away, the sun could come out, and it might hit 80, who knows.  It just doesn't look like it will.  It hasn't rained for long enough for it to dry off out there.  Well, the sidewalks and driveway are dry.  The grass and ground will remain damp for a goodly while.

Inside, it is, with things mostly closed... cracked for air since it isn't actually cold... in the 70s.  Even 77 near the computer, if this place is always the warmest, and I do have the front door shut.  So, not bad.  It just feels wonky, and is dark.  It is nearing bedtime, for it, and else.  All good though.  I just wish I could have gotten some things done.  Tomorrow, perhaps.  God knows, I have to work when I can.  I live a life of Sundays, so an actual Sunday... all I get are days of rest.  And I pray on them, as all others.  I can't afford to not work on any day it is possible.  He knows that.

I'll take a gander around the web, see if anything newsworthy or interesting is happening, or about to happen.  Later, if more likely, goodnight.

Not doing the hatch today.

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Probably.  Rainy, wet, out there.  Cool.  I could, I suppose.  But it's just not the day for it, really.  It's not like I am in a huge hurry.  And, there will be better days soon.  Especially since I am waking up, or have been, in the mornings.  A good time, on what will become a hot day, to do a few things out there.

It is 64 F, outside.  Up four degrees from... a while ago.  But, being near noon, it is rather cool out there.  Very cool, being still August.  But it does, sometimes, begin to break cooler in this date patch.  Sometimes later August, sometimes not until Mid September to October.  That... differs a lot, year to year.  It does always taper down, cooling a bit.  But for a day in the 60s, that can be earlier or much later.

Stormy, looking, out there.  A welcome sight, especially with rain aside it.

I am still hoping to get dishes hit, then a shower, then get them going again.  Who knows.  The cool is a bit much.  I could layer, a bit.  But I have to sort of get something going.  Too hot, I can't.  If it cools too much, too fast, I... just don't have the ability to adjust.  But, it is pleasant.  I can enjoy it.  There is that.

I have shut the house up.  It was getting downright cold... this front room was down to 70, the main area was more like 74?  Odd.  But, that is a stone house for you.  Especially one well rooted into the ground.  It moderates the temperature.  Still, given it has been more averaging the lower 70s, for lows, for months, this is rather chill for the high.  Still, I am enjoying.  If it eases to this, I'll be good before long.  Especially when I can be sure that dressing warmer won't be a problem.  Layering, even, as it dips.  Ugh.

I have offered another sort of deal.  It isn't perfect.  I'm not sure it will be accepted.  But... I... will see.  If it works out, perhaps some other plans might move forward.  Awkward, clumsy, stilting, halting, but that is life.  Especially as the world decides to ruin people, things, systems.  When the elites decide to burn the world, they have an inside track.  Is anyone, at any level of government, on our side?  I'm... not seeing it.  And corpo is even more kompromat.  We are well and truly on our own.  It... may well come to serious bloodshed.  We'll see.  But, for now, to stay low, and out of the way, until the time is right.  Or I make it rightly to the grave?

Plans, schemes, hopes... things to do.  Things to not do.  For today, work if possible.  Gaming otherwise.  Though, if it warms a bit, I may get the hatch sorted out.  That is one heavy hatch, though.  It really is.  And it doesn't have an easy way to hold it up.  The rope, I still think, is the best way.  But there is no handle, so it has to rope the body of the hatch, and be tied to something that won't give, or move.

All good.  Some hot fatted coffee, a bit of gaming, and... then... who knows.

Strange.

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UPS usually doesn't deliver on Saturdays.  I have had two deliveries in... as far back as I can remember.  I... don't expect it, mind you.  It is always just a bonus, a plus, an extra.  And today was... the day, I guess.  I received the first pieces I'll working on the Xterra with, the hatch hydraulic bars.

They have been not working for... years, now, is it?  Yes, two, three, maybe four.  Still, I... just... thought it would be too expensive, or difficult.  Not all that expensive.  Amazon had them for sale as pairs or singles.  They are interchangeable, right and left.  The pairs were $48, I think.  The singles were $20 each.  I ordered two singles.  Strange how they try to charge more for sets than singles.  Everything is a scheme.

As for difficulty?  Not so much.  I will have to figure out how to hold the hatch, one way or another, while replacing the rods.  But I think I have that sorted.  Just in case you are curious?  Or have some small complaint which has just slid off the list, but annoys you?  Yea, a lot of these things are far easier than I had thought.  If there are a lot of jobs well beyond my skill, possibly strength, or stamina?  This isn't one of them.  I have no idea how much they would have charged at a shop, but they might have been fair, at, say, parts (whether they tack any on those or not?), and, say, thirty minutes (I doubt if they charge less), so... lets say $50 for parts and $30 to $60 for labor, so $100?  Right.  And, when you see the job?  Right.

Oh, right.

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Yes, there are methods to beat the games.  Several things had been forgotten, with galaga.  The double ships?  Right.  There seems to have been a glitch.  I probably knew about it back in the day, but wouldn't have used it.  My uncle watched over my shoulder.  He probably knew about the glitch too?  Didn't use it.  We played legit.  I can't remember my highest score, but it was... solid.  It impressed him and he wasn't impressed by much.

Sort of getting back to days?

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I woke a bit to half after three?  It's 4:07 as I write.  Not perfectly back to exact day and night cycle, but... nearing it.  I was up very late, as recent numbers go.  That is an outlier, doubt if I will be able to be awake that late again, for a while.  Not sure how I made it so late yesterday.  Just... a fluke.  A bit of insomnia, really.

Slept well.  Still just a bit groggy, I think for pushing so far into the day.  But nothing is too bad.  Oh, as I was getting up to go to bed, I looked out.  It was raining, had just started?  I think so.  Could smell it for hours, before it hit.  But, have been smelling it, off and on, for days without it hitting here.  Must have been hitting patches and portions here and there around.  Finally, today, we got some.

How much though?  It was still sputtering when I checked the temperature after waking.  It never sounded like it was raining while I was going to sleep, or when I would randomly wake.  So it was probably light.  But it was definitely raining when I went to bed.  Just not heavily enough to making the pitter-pat sounds, so a very soft drizzle?  It sure seemed to put out some decent moisture though.

Not all that cool out there, strangely.  At 58, I am a bit surprised.  It looks to have stopped the sputtering it had been doing when I woke.  Still, a pleasant night... morning, really.  Now, just to wake up, look around, think about some things, and maybe get to work.

Oh, I did play pac-man and galaga.  Yea.  Back to scratch.  Funny, I thought, at the time, that my uncle was older.  He was only, say, around his early to mid 30s.  But he had nearly whiting hair?  As I remember it.  And a beer belly.  He was a bigger guy, for his time.  The one who challenged my scores.  Anyway, back to the drawing board.  Ah, but this pac-man allows you to choose to have, or not have, the 256 level glitch.  Why would anyone choose it?

Hmm... I wonder if there are methods, worked out then and since, which might help improve skills more quickly?  I'll bet there are.  Were no such things back when, save word of mouth... which was as often wrong... no much more often wrong, or so poorly passed on as to be worthless?  Sometimes, if the idea was legit, and you had the time, you might be able to use the idea to develop a method.  Though... it usually wasn't worth the effort.

I'll go fishing for that.  Later.

Up too late.

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It's 21:13.  I need to go to bed.  It did cool off out there, fairly well.  Stayed dark.  Looked like it might rain, but no, so far.  Sometimes I can smell it, almost feel it, but, still, no.

Nothing done.  I did make it to later in the day.  If I overshot.  A bunch of... what I would consider... reply vids.  I did enjoy.  May share... a few of them, tomorrow.

It's bedtime now.  It was down to 67, last time I looked, outside.  In here, even with things opened, fans going, and such, it's still 78.  Bleh.  Upstairs was much cooler.  I should sleep well.  Good night, prayers, kind thoughts... even if you are she... especially, see you in the morning?  Yes, I... I think that is right.  Goodnight.

Crocodile? Alligator?

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As written.  But... which is which?  Or, more truly, who is... whom... which?  Oh, I've been accused.  I love it when she accuses, blames, points the finger.  I... do.  And I know she means it.  I also know she wouldn't have it any other way.  From her side, or my side, and she, too, is what she is?  Yes.

Odd.

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Still awake, and comfortably.  Cool, even if it really isn't.  At 77/77/79 around the house, down here, it's rather warm.  The outside is 84, a few minutes ago.  But it feels cool.  Very strange.  Cold?  Almost cold, yes.  Just on the edge of a chill, just about to shiver.  Very strange.  Still mostly overcast.  Or, perhaps, the clouds are just following the sun.  Strange how things work.

I was about to call my mother.  It's her special day.  She called me just before I was set to call.  I had a time in mind, so as to avoid being too close to meals, or... whatever else she might have going on.  She had been calling me, about a special day recently.  I got the message, just thought I'd call her on her day.  Silly goose, got worried that I hadn't been in touch.  Well, we both feel better.

She has received many cards, and items, and is having a cake delivered, to share out.  It sounds like she is quite... appreciated there.  That is no surprise to me.  She makes herself handy, she takes time and trouble to listen.  And she loves you, even if she doesn't like you.  Plus, she's a fighter.  Not... fist-fighter.  But she'll put up a struggle, if life comes at her.  And, maybe, you too.  I was not surprised to hear that her birthday has been a good one.

Still hoping to get some things done today.

As well, to stay up into the afternoon as far as possible.

Who knows, though.  I could crash in five, or be up to 20:00, doing nothing.  I'll pray, in there.  With the gratitude of having another chance, and taking them when available.  It's a bit frustrating, not doing as much as I would like.  And, yet, the humility that renders is... a fine gift as well.  Amen.

Yet awake.

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I did get something that has been... languishing.  I cleared Sassy's litter boxes.  They were in pretty bad shape, but... surprisingly?  Not... as bad as I had thought, when I realized they haven't been cleaned in at least two weeks?  I've... just not been able to stay on top of things.  I do my best.  I... the heat has gotten to me.  Still, cleaned.  And, at the first of this next month, I will completely reset.  Still... rather amazing how clean they actually were.  Very, very strange.

Nearing seven, it is darker out there.  Partly cloudy, but very cloudy where the sun would be shining otherwise.  It is 61 out there, 73 in near the machine.  I have shut the upstairs down.  It was 72, but I only checked what is usually the cooler part of the room.  Odd that it is so warm, but... whatever.

Today is a special day.  I'll remember, I hope, to call before time passes.  I think I will be up for a goodly part of the day, into at least early afternoon.  Beside the call, I hope to get a few things more going.  As mentioned, dishes getting a hit, being moved aside, then a shower, and them back in to soak.  Maybe sweeping around the litter boxes.  And, again, with counters, the stove, and oven?  I can try.  Perhaps more, if possible.

While looking around, on the console, for new games, I found games I might be willing to buy.  Very inexpensive.  Pac-Man, and Galaxy... or such...  Games from when I was in highschool.  Only, you had to pay a quarter per game.  Bah!  Now?  Less than $2 for all the play you would want.  I may just do it.  Galaxy Attack... to be exact.  I bet one of my uncles a small fortune that I could beat him, Uncle Ray.  And, beat him I did.  I think he was surprised.  I didn't beat him by a bit, either.  Not sure I can still get to that.  What you could do while you were a kid just... things change.  Can find out though.

But... those are games I could play.  At least from time to time.  They do take it out of you though.

Strange how cool it can feel, and yet in the next room how warm it is.  Something strange, inside and out, these days.  I really do wonder if I am in purgatory.  Though, perhaps, I am just so ill that... things don't make sense.  How bad can a heart be, for how long, until things don't make sense.  The body just... I don't know... tries to shut down, but for whatever reason can't?  Even if I am not in purgatory, what is purgatory but an in-between place?  And, beyond any doubt, I am in an in-between place.  Perhaps not the spiritual one, or again, but a physical one.  Trust me, it's one or the other.  No worries, I know the direction, I will get there when allowed.  I will pray and abide until then.

Well... on to something or other.  Maybe I'll make those purchases, and then go on to play some, or watch a flick.  Who knows.  Have a great morning.  Prayers, warm thoughts, a side-ways grin, and some other things.  Be well, and later.

To bed, early, days are sort of swinging.

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Awake at a bit after one.  Not sure I am actually awake, even now.  But, for a bit, I am up.  Sassy was fed right off.  She was definitely a hungry girl.  And, with my sleep off, her feed is off.  I heard her tearing around down here several hours ago, but couldn't do much.  I suspect she was after a mouse, or moth, or some such.  Hunger isn't always a bad thing.

Sore, in the shoulder.  The joints.  That has sort of become a normal thing though.  I backed off protein, to see if that was the problem.  It got better, for a bit, but... now not so much. Then again, I thought feet swelling was dairy, then swelling came back, but that was only because I had been missing medication.  I wonder, regarding the shoulders, if that is because I am just back on them?  Will see in a bit.  After I have been back on them for, say, two or three weeks, if the pain remains, then... maybe it has something to do with meds?

Strange dreams, but all gone by the time I could wake.

Oh, the funniest thing?  I had thought I shut the upstairs completely.  It seems I missed a window, left open.  But, it was still cool up there.  Just as cool as normal.  Very strange, as it got into the 90s out there yesterday.  I won't do that again, on purpose.  And I have done that before, to very hot results.  So... I'm not sure how that worked out today.  Very strange.

It is 65 at 60% humidity outside, currently.  And 75, and 77/77 at 41% humidity in this front room and near the computer.  Upstairs was 68/70.  Strange that it is so warm down here and cool up there, with all else going on.

So... what about today?  Dishes, if I can get to them.  Then another shower.  Reload the dishes, and counters?  If possible.  If I am actually awake for good, or when I am.  That's the plan.  So sleepy still, just not sleepy enough to stay asleep at the moment.  Later.

Not doing great?

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Not doing poorly, either.  Well?  A meal.  Keto spaghetti and noodles.  The zero carb noodles, from, originally, a root found near rivers in Japan.  I'm not sure they are that anymore?  A hot sauce.  My lips are burning.  I can handle the heat, in my belly, but if it's really hot, I know because my lips burn.  Though, that isn't uncomfortable for me.  It's more like... when you have eaten a steak or ribs, and get fat around your lips?  It's like that, a good thing, though not something you would desire with every meal.

With water.  I am trying to back off fatted coffees.  I need to find something else to sweeten those, or learn to go without.  The thing is, even with the sweetener I used, mostly being keto, and many times sweeter than sugar, in this mix, I can't really taste the sweet.  And, have increased to get some sensation in that direction.  Which... is not good for diabetes.  While it is keto, everything is by dose.  Anything, no matter how well it generally works, when taken to some level... fails at it's intended purposes.

I had hoped to do more.  But I think I am done.  The last of the tools and most of the last of the packages have arrived today.  I think one other package was said to have been received at the post office... practice fabric for several things.  And, the last of the packages for the month, the hydraulic lifter bars for the Xterra are on their way.  Still in California, but several transfers in.

But, it looks like that will be it.  I may get a few more packages of fresh veggies, but otherwise am done for the month.  Still, I have some number of toys, tools, and things, to play with through the month.  And, there are a few tasks I would like to do, including filling the hole in the driveway.  Well, and some serious weeding, and maybe mowing.  When, or as, able.

Still somewhat dark out there, but up to 82 outside.  It's 79 in here, but I think, at 14:18, it is closing in on bedtime.  I'd like to wait just a bit longer.  An hour, two if possible.  But, if not possible, I'll just head on up.

I made several women smile yesterday.  Some women are suspicious of me... sort of like... you all.  Still, even suspecting you are dealing with a devil, a... girl can't help herself, sometimes.  *grins*  I may not be able to do much, do it well, or for long.  But some things?  I do quite well even without trying.  A devil indeed, but not the one they think they know... or even do know.  Besides, he isn't a devil.  He has confused them almost as well as I have.  Smiling back at the crocodile?  But... which of us?  *grins*

Later, or goodnight.

Awake again.

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Not exactly sure when I went to bed, again.  It was after 04:00, but how far after I can't say.  It had risen to 59, just a degree, but... again... strange.  Not completely unusual, just mostly unusual for it to warm well before the sun rises.  Humidity seems to be reading in the 60s... all last evening and this morning too.  I just woke at, I had thought just a bit after ten.  But, having only fed Sassy, and checked the temp, and it being 11:15 now, It must have been later.  That may have been when I checked the clock, as I was waking, but well before I actually got up.

It was 68/71 upstairs, 74/75/75 down here, even 75 near the machine, strangely.  And it was 76 outside.  It is overcast, a medium dark.  It almost looks like there is rain near the mountains to the east, right at the base.  It sure looks like it might rain here, at any time.  But... you never can be certain.

Ah, it is already Thursday?  I really did lose a day in there.  I thought it was Tuesday, yesterday.  Oh well.  At least I didn't miss yesterday, if I missed the day before... a targeted event.  The actual Tuesday, I crashed as well.  I have been trying to regain my days for that, in part.  I just didn't make it this month.

Cool.

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Tonight.  To the point where I am actually feeling cold.  The fan, up here, is off.  Only one other, downstairs, is going.  But, yes, it is feeling cold.  It might have something to do with being back on medicine?  It has been four or five days, now.  Sometimes, when adjusting to being back on medicine for better stretches, especially when skipping through period of off and on them, I can become rather cold-blooded, as in feeling chill at the least provocation.

It is 75 here near the computer.  I really shouldn't be feeling cold.  I really do suspect it is medicine.  Or real higher humidity?  No, that wouldn't make it feel cooler.  Perhaps humidity, or what passes for it, has gone down.  Sometimes it will drop in a very short period.

I've been reviewing a few other projects for the Xterra.  Added one chemical to the shopping cart, from that.  Yes, I would like to start doing some or all of my own work on the jalopy.  I also need to get her cleaned out.  I would like to remover the seats and benches, and clean her to the proverbial ground.  I will have to do that at night, or on a cooler day.

Like it or not, my Xterra, and probably any bike I would be looking at, will be metric.  So, any specialty tools, like shallow impact sockets, or impact sockets sum total, will probably be weighted toward metric.  Still, it makes it easier if both of one's vehicles are metric.  The only things worse than metric are mix.  I hate when they mix metric and SAE. I think everything on the submarine with SAE, so I don't really have metric sizes down.  But, with some feel for SAE, even to this day, I am guessing I'll be able to quickly learn a 6mm from even an 8, but certainly a 10 or 17mm.  And, the more common ones will just, quickly, make sense.

Anyway...  Oh... I may hit the dishes.  Set them out.  Brush my teeth, trim my whiskers, take a shower, then set the dishes back up.  Then, dry off and go on back to bed.  Yea.  Oh, and maybe start a load of whites, to be put out tomorrow.  Sounds good to me.  Later, or goodnight. 

Not so much go...

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I crashed to bed.  I realized it was the men's group night, right before.  But nothing I could do could change the problem.  I was going down, so hard and fast, nothing was going to stop it.  I think I made it to around a quarter after seventeen hundred.  My mind has a snapshot of... 15:17, or so.  I think that was from this last evening, but... I can't be absolutely sure.

I had forgotten to close up, upstairs.  I think I caught it, though, when I was getting ready to go to the store.  Even so, even by the time I returned, and was going in to bed, it was still rather warm up there, 75 in the main, 77 near where I sleep.  Even so, there was no choice.  I got one of the fans right on me, tucked in with a sheet and blanket to cover me lightly, then lights out.

Sleep was wonderful.  It was a bit warm, but I just couldn't have cared.  The heat... I had hoped it was easing, but it doesn't seem to be.  August can be pretty warm, if usually not as warm as July, or even June often.  But, still, it... is still summer.  It is just that, often, we get rain a bit more.  We got it early, then it just went away.  Humid, but not raining.

Outdoors read 61, last I checked, and 60% humidity.  I really think that is true, it's, just, humidity in a highland semi-arid to arid area isn't always, or quite, the same thing as in a lowland higher moisture receiving area.  It is down to 58?  Inside is 75/75, if things have been opened and fans lit for an hour... 76 near the computer.

I am leaving the ac on upstairs tonight.  It did, finally, get down to 70/74... I think, when I woke.  But I don't want to miss.  And, since I have missed, or managed, what I could this week, I may go on to bed a bit early.  The heat wasn't terrible out there, today.  It's more the collective of hot days, stacking up against me.  I don't thrive in the extremes.  Does anyone?

I have what is needed, to do some practice on the new machine.  I even have fabric, the tshirt fabric, which this machine excels on.  Though, it does well with many materials, it masters a few which can be difficult on a normal machine.  Stretchy knits are among those.

I did get a 25% off sort of ticket, when I picked the machine up.  I will be storing some money away, for a larger purchase.  They don't have clothing, to a degree, fabrics.  Mostly quilting fabrics, batting, and such.  But the do have an inhouse longarm service.  I was quoted a price, but it was so much per... areas or lengths which I don't have experience understanding.  I did look at some of their offerings.  Found some that might do... for myself and my mother.  I am hoping to buy enough to make, say, five quilts?  Three, of various thicknesses, for myself... and as practice, then a lap quilt for mother, and a bed quilt.  

I can't get that going until I have saved for materials.  But, with the quarter off, I am hoping to buy all the materials needed, at once, for all five.  Kits were a bit expensive, I thought.  And I always fear running out of materials, from a mistake.  Still, may try one out.  And... they didn't (the kits) have batting or backing material, or the one I looked at.  Sort of surprised me.

Everything, like a quilt, is a bit at a time.  Even when you have everything, it, again, becomes a game of pieces and parts.  Sewing, mind you, is expensive.  Hand, machine, serger, just the machines.  But the machines are just a start.  What will really get you, in time, is the fabrics, thread, needles, and other things expended.  Notions will eat you, for a while, but like the machines, at some point they become static costs.  You may have to sharpen shears or scissors, but you don't have to buy them again.  And, some minor things will be replaced, over time, but... not more than replacing sockets lost or broken.

Oh, as for the Xterra?  I remembered a problem, and went looking for the solution.  The back hatch, the hydraulic bars which raise it are shot.  So, finally, I decided to look.  Easy find.  More, an easy fix.  They suggest that it is a two many job, someone needs to hold the hatch up.  But I say, a minor bit of ingenuity and simple mechanics, physics, will allow it to easily be a one-man job.  A hank of rope, close enough to the garage, with the garage door up, a loop around the hatch, and that attached to a portion of the beams, and... done.  It doesn't have to be raised to it's max, if that is preferred, and I think doable.  Those were ordered, and will be in shortly.

Next month, I plan on ordering air filters for her, both in the engine bay... for engine air intake, and for in the cabin.  As well, I should be getting an oil catch pan.  I looked up how to do the oil change.  I'll also need an oil filter, perhaps a new gasket if that doesn't come with the filter, if it needs it.  I'll get more details next month or in October.  But I will begin checking this and that, looking around, and finally learning about my engine, vehicle.  Oh, and should be getting a vehicle maintenance manual next month.  As I remember, there used to be two companies which made those?  Down to one, is it?  See what happens when you sleep for decades?

Well... On to my day.  Until I go back to sleep?  We'll see.  Later.

Finally, to town.

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There was an item I have been paying down.  I really needed to get in, or call in.  I called yesterday, but that didn't work out.  Could have called in today, but I was up, showered, and ready to go.  So, in I went.  And, I paid it down and picked it up.  What you might ask?

This little monster!

Almost feels cold?

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Yes, strangely.  It is 76 in this front room, with the door open and a fan going.  It is 75, front and back otherwise.  And, outdoor, when last I checked, was 78... half hour ago?  It's up to 82.  Still, it feels cool, even cold.  Strange, but I'll take it.  Feeling okay, getting a bit tired.

I'd like to give the dishes a go, then, maybe, sort something else out?  Dunno.  Starting to get tired.  It's only at nearly 11:00.  Frustrating that I am wearing down so early.  Keeping up on pill medicine.  For what it is worth.  Cool, cold?  Strange.

Another package, today.  I am sort of waiting on it.  Never sure if it will actually arrive anymore.  UPS used to be... like... 90%.  Now it is closer to 60%.  Sometimes the package never arrives, sometimes it is posted as delivered (even with other packages) but isn't.  I even received an empty package!  That item was for an item that wasn't necessarily available anymore.  Out of print.  Thankfully, a replacement was found and sent.  Ugh.

Blame?  I think there is a lot more going on.  It isn't fuel prices, but that is driving much of the problems.  It is forcing fewer workers to do more work for less money.  That is definitely the majority of the problem.  Well, and the quality of workers?  I don't know about that.  You push anyone beyond their human capacity, and... things go wrong.  Sometimes on purpose, but just as often not.

I am glad to have some food stored.  That's for certain.  Things are going to go so very sideways the further we get into the proposed reset.  Food, guns, water, and if you can, silver and gold.  You'll never get your money back from that, but it is better to have some value.  Fiat is dead, it just refuses to stop breathing.  Not much time left, though.  And stocks?  The government buying, at this point, has to be obvious.  They are breaking shorters, to try to save their pals, or help them extricate before the crash?  The opposite of what happened at Robin Hood?  Or the same thing, actually, only now it is the fed doing it.  Yeah.

Watch out out there.  Everything is going sideways and you can't trust anyone, the government least of all.  But corporations are trying to kill you too.  And your neighbor may well be stealing from you.  Assuming you have anything to steal.  Though you might be surprised.  No one ever thinks they have much, until it's gone.

Still, it is what it is.  Later.

Well!

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I did, finally, get a shower.  No trim, but hey.  It's a start.

Later, after drying, dressing, and being pleased with myself, I made it to the post office.  I had a full box, good thing I got in.  Scissors, some patterns, and typical mail.  One of the patterns I have been keen to receive.  It is for cargo pants.  Actually, I was hoping it would give an idea as to weight of fabrics.  Sadly, no.

Even so, that is one of the things I really want to get sorted.  Start with shorts.  Work those up to just exactly the right size, work the pockets so that they have pockets inside pockets, perhaps even with, say, kevlar for cut resistance?  But, yes, make some secure, multi and big pocketed, pants... some in the waterproof synths, some in simply fast drying synths, and some in cotton/nylon/poly ripstop.  Some much more for work, some for travel.  Some, in time, lined, for winter... if I remain or even travel to a S.A. nation where it can get cold.

Oh, then I got the dishes in.  Nothing fancy.  Two smaller dishpans, much of which had already been, basically, washed the first time.  I think they were clean, I just couldn't get to rinsing and handling from there.  But, being in the bathroom for a few weeks, they... need washed.  Just once though.  Pleased to have those set up.

It had dropped to 54, but was up to 56 half an hour ago.  Wow, it's up to 58 already, at 07:30.  Okay.  It looks like it might be a rather warm day out there.  All good, crops can probably use it.  I have kept it at 74/75 in the house, if it is up to 78 here near the machine.  I should get upstairs, and close the place down.  Or... in an hour, or two.  I'll set the alarm for a couple hours.  I don't mind if it gets a bit warmer, as long as I am not going to bed.  Though, even then, I seem to do okay... up to a point.

Not able to do a lot else, but that was a good and somewhat surprising start.  It... was on the list.  I had hope.  I just... didn't... have a lot of hope.  Still, if I get the chance, I'll take it.  Something happens, and then I become able.  Then, I either do, or don't.  I did, today.  Exciting, to be to some work.  Excited that there could be, perhaps, a bit more.  Even if not, I am pleased... and clean.  I needed a shower something awful.  Teeth are good, generally took care, but hair and just generally needed a bit of a cleaning.

Else, though, this morning, I have been looking over repairs, and checklists for the Xterra.  For the oil, I'll have to make sure the jack works.  If not, either find one that does, or replace it.  They really shouldn't break down.  Especially living in a garage.  But... who knows.  Then again, if they do fail, it won't be the metal, or mechanisms, it will be o-rings and such.  I'll find out shortly.

But, I don't have an oil waste pan currently.  I probably have everything else.  I even have two bigger sets of Sears tools.  Like in the 285 to 320 piece kits.  Plus, with the DeWalt cordless and Milwaukee cordless (and other assorted corded), plus assorted other, I should be able to do just about anything.  The only thing I am not absolutely sure about would be impact sockets, or even an impact tool.  Which... I am looking over, since beginning to gear up for a bike.

I may see if someone can, will, have time, at some point, to help out.  Owes a couple of trips, which don't look like they will work out.  So... might see if he will trade one for a day helping with the Xterra.  Oil, checking other fluids, checking the belt, checking breaks, just... doing a deeper checkup.  Even cleaning and sorting things as the checks are done.  Cleaning battery poles, breaks, and else, while apart to check calipers.  Fun for all.  Mostly, I just want someone there in case I need a hand, and maybe to check things behind me.  Perhaps to teach a bit.

I'll need the manual for certain.  And my tools.  Might not need a lot else, as he has much.  He has more tool access than I do, and more powerful.  But I would like to try using my kit as much as possible.  We'll, it has been fun looking around.  Though, I could see going a bit far.  And, if you know anything about mechanics, electronics, or women, you know that learning by mistakes is the only way, and it is... can be... quite expensive.  Good tools, if you know how to handle them responsibly.  But, a) no tool likes being merely handled responsibly, b) no one knows how to do that well without huge mistakes, if some mistakes end up being false mistakes (not mistakes, just a lot of trouble with handling), and, c) no real man doesn't like testing limits, right to the breaking points.  Tools, vehicles, body, woman, all things must be flung into the fire, and tested.  Youch!  But it is delicious.  Well, for some of us.  Just saying.

A good morning.  I'll try to do more.  No promises.  I best open the front door again, getting stuffy in here.  It reads 70% humidity out there, and I think it may be.  It reads 42% in here, but it still feels stuffier in here than out there, so... open it up for a while.  Good morning, day, and later!

Something is a bit off.

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Sometimes, when starting medicine again after being off it for a bit, the day I start to three or four days after, I can take a hit.  It has been three days that I have been back on medicine and I am taking a hit.  It's a good thing.  The hit is the whole engine and drivetrain of my body shuddering, as it comes back into a more... sustainable set of functions.  BP drops, pulse slows, veins and else adjust, but it's hard on the system to do that.

A bit of a headache.  Mild.  Medium, really.  Shoulders, neck, and skull all just a bit off.  Arteries of the neck aching just a bit.  Everything is adjusting back to some sort of trim.  Well, and it might be cooling?  Hmm, not really.  I have acclimatized, I think, to the heat.  It got up to 92 by the time I went to bed today.  But it... felt okay.  I am sure it probably climbed into the mid, perhaps higher, 90s?  I can't be certain.  But I felt fine, slept well, and woke well.

All good.  It happens.  Being back on medicine is better, by far, than being off them... now that I have medicine that actually treats what is wrong.

It isn't all that cool, tonight, or yet?  It is 62 outside, and 75, 76, or 77 indoors, downstairs.  I just turned off the fan, near the front door.  But am leaving the other fans going and the front door open.  While the numbers don't show, it is really cooling down.

I have been looking over tools, reviewing manuals, looking up owners manuals, and just... thinking about things.  Remembering.  While there were things about mechanics I didn't like, there were things I did like.  When you started something, you, or someone else, would definitely finish it.  Usually it was you.  Whether it was greasing every zerk on the command deck, tagging out removing repairing and replacing a ball valve, or while on duty also filling a tank which holds a full atmosphere of air when near enough to the surface to do so, and cycling another tank to replace a full atmosphere of air on the ship.  An atmosphere of air, on a submarine, is all the air within all the compartments the submarine can hold, or... as I remember things.  But, what that adds to, is... doing a job, getting it done, and the satisfaction of a job well done and truly done.

Anyway, so... I keep looking up little jobs on the motorcycle.  Especially things which, in theory, have me shying away.  I'm not so afraid of an oil change, or spark plug check, or even chain maintenance and checking.  But bleeding the brakes, changing sprockets especially if sizing up or down for specific wants, or checking and adjusting valve clearances?  Those... make me nervous.

Ahha.

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While I was looking over the Haines' offerings for motorcycle manuals, I realized I have never gotten one for the Xterra.  So, I went looking tonight.  I added it to the cart, though not sure when I will buy it.  There are things I could do for the suv that I would be doing on the bike, and become partly geared up for some tasks, like oil changes, checking spark plugs, and such.

Plus, I could actually begin doing real things, not just in prep for the bike.  Why haven't I done it already?  Good question.  I actually have some mechanical skills.  Not... even up to being a shade-tree mechanic, but far closer than most would imagine.  Whatever else I did in the Navy, dealing with mechanical and some minor electrical issues was part of my training, and maybe a very small amount of what I actually did.

A quarter, three quarter, to half inch drive will well know to me.  Plus the socket sizes became familiar, with the more common sizes being known by feel even.  Zerk fittings, grease types by function, and why... non-petroleum lubricants, for use where rubber o-rings exist, and such.  So much lore, and knowledge, back in there.  My hands are rusty.  But my memory is strangely clear.  And, yes, we used manuals for everything!  Ninety percent of the time, we had to go by the book.  Even when we didn't go by the usual book, there was a sort of unwritten, or portion of, the book that was used.  Only in very rare, dire emergency, cases would we toss the book and hit it raw.  So, yes, I... learned how to read and write technical.

I never quite became a pro, like a lot of the guys.  But I was well on my way.  And, really, everyone was at some stage of becoming a hardnosed serious mechanic.  We didn't just do it, we lived it.  We smelled like oil and grease and other chemicals.  Metal imbedded our skin, our fingernails were often black, even when we washed well.  Only so much of that stuff comes out.

I never liked getting grease under my fingernails, getting dirty in general.  But, I did.  Mostly, though, I was just a learner.  But I was fully open to learning.  I listened, asked pertinent questions, sought understanding on my own and asked others.  I was an attentive student, and just absorbed gobs of knowledge.  And, being strong enough to do almost anything, I was sought for help, so was allowed to pick minds at will.

As rough as things are, now, I think I might be able to... tear in and get things maintained.  It would be easier having two vehicles though.  A motorcycle, to ride when the suv is down, apart.  And the reverse.  While the idea is to hit the project, hard, and do it right, and quickly.  I learned, on submarines, that every with every part, spare pieces, all the knowledge in the world, the books, and using those things, sometimes things just don't fit back the way they should.  Every submarine, and every system on her, was custom.  Then, every repair might well end up customizing further, beyond the book.  That's just how it goes.  Plus, with two mechanical teams on each sub, not everything was passed on, directly.  A little heat between teams for that, but... probably not rightly.  Still, it's a team based world, so there it was.

Yeah, working on things can end up being a problem, taking time.  But, I have the manual in the cart, and will order it before long.  I have enough tools for some things, and am tooling up for more.  We'll see.  If the bike can't happen until spring, I can be working on the Xterra, and getting my mechanic's hands back... the feel, the grit... it takes a bit.  Later.

Down early, up early.

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I think I made it just to 14:00?  Or near it, maybe right after.  The plan was to make it to 16:00 to 18:00.  I just couldn't do it.  Sleep was wonderful.  I am taking medicine, again, regularly.  That might be what is, temporarily, bringing me to heel a bit.  But that will be fixed shortly.  Regularity brings a bit more health and strength, with medicine.

Sleep was super.  I only made it to 23:00.  Tried to sleep longer, just wasn't going to happen.  I got up, pretty much, as soon as I woke.  I realized I woke too well to go on back to bed.  Though not quickly.  There is the walrus song, is there a turtle song?  I am... the turtle!  Not the slowest waking I have ever done, but it was pretty slow.

I opened up the upstairs, turned off the ac, turned on the alternate fans.  It just is better if fans get a break, from time to time.  But, the upstairs really has to have fans going to stay cool, with or without ac.  Definitely with windows open.  It was 70/72 upstairs, 75/76 down here, 78 near the computer, and 68 outside.  Not all that cool, for this late, but... so it goes.

My mother called, while I was asleep.  I'll call her back in a few days.  My aunt texted me yesterday.  Haven't heard from her in... a very long time.  Quite pleased.  I... have been avoiding family.  I know I am dying.  I have that edge.  When people get to my place, no matter how long they are here, they get a... sharp edge.  We know that muddling words, parsing them, especially if we have seen that heaven and hell are real, just isn't going to happen.  

We won't have to be asked to spit it out, and we won't be telling you what you want to hear.  Don't negotiate with evil, don't believe lies even (especially) if you like them, don't sell your soul for a foolish belief or disbelief.  So... I can be... difficult, for people who just want a soft, easy, stroll to their deaths... sometime off in some unknown future.  Besides, it is difficult to keep up.  Or to ask people to get to know you well, include you, when you may just be dropping off at any time.  That side of things can be a bit lonely, but death is a lonely passage.  If I had ten thousand friends?  I'd still have to go alone... whenever that happens.  That's part of the bite, when dealing with people.  

Animals do it too.  When it is time to begin going, they... try to get on their own.  Natural instinct.  Vulnerable, though, too.  And our own kind, or similar, rightly and wrongly, can be so cruel to those who... are failing.  "Why don't you just..."  Fill in the blank.  Well, because I can't stand, I can't always even eat, and shitting might be a bridge too far, some days.  That's... pretty much... why.  They don't understand.

Never mind.  I still appreciate contact, from time to time.  I should... make some calls... soon.  Try to just keep in a small loop.  Everyone I know is in rough shape, so... maybe.  :p  Or has been there, done that.  Save one.  Even mother has been through some serious surgeries, and difficult times.  But she is already on the list.  How many years, now, have I been talking to her regularly?  It took a lot of years before that could happen, but... there it is.

Something to eat, tonight.  Eggs and corned beef has were superior the other day.  But I may have chicken and/or pork roast?  Is it still good?  I had peas, corn, and mushroom with butter today, and meat sticks.  Nothing fancy, but it's... something.  Meat sounds good, tonight.  If it's good, I'll heat a few pieces, or slices, up, in with the spinach.  Then add vinegar to the spinach?  Or butter, salt, and pepper?  Meh, I really do prefer vinegar.

On to something.  Same list as yesterday, as to what to do, if I can.  Later.

Well, on to bed.

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I'll make it to 14:00, but that is it.  I... tried, wanted, to do things.  I... sat.  So tired.

I had things I wanted to do today, inside and out.  How long has it been since I have been out of the house... well... beyond the yard?  A month?  Going on two?  Some timeframe like that.  I just... I'm stuck.

I did make a call, about a business arrangement.  Wasn't able to complete it, but was able to let them know I am still alive, and working on it.  The failure was on their part, but it will all work.  It isn't terrible, or crucial, it was more just... trying to be polite.  Late as I am, I... do try.  Maybe tomorrow.

Today I got up and shut the upstairs down.  I failed to do that yesterday and it was 79 when I went up to sleep.  Still, with the ac turned on, fans set to run, and windows closed, plus being tired enough, sleep wasn't even an issue.  Actually, if I wouldn't want to do that all the time, that may have allowed a much deeper and longer sleep.  It was a good sleep.

Oh, I'll get all of today's medicine in.  I just need some water.  Ah, done.

I had been wondering why my legs had started swelling, again.  Even off dairy.  It was just that I had forgotten medicine for three days running.  That'll do it.  Now, I don't even need extra water pills to drain down.  A regular start up allows pretty good drainage.  It takes a few days, but does it's job just as is.  I have been going frequently, more than unusual, plus filling a three liter pee bottle every night.  I had been down to, say, 500 to 700 ml per night.  I'll get back to it before long.

A good day.  Even if I didn't get much done, I did do two things, and even had a visitor.  Odd how the world works.  But, it will all work out in time.  Or, really, it won't.  But, at some point, the toils and troubles of this world, and leisures too, will be set aside for a different path and set of events.

Be well.  Know prayers are sent in your direction.  Have a great afternoon, day, week, and goodnight.

Wow, almost cold this morning.

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.

The outside is only down to 55, one degree cooler than when I woke.  But, by several hours ago, not only did I have to shut off fans, but I had to shut the door.  Downstairs is ready 70 and 72, and near the computer it is 72.  So, yeah, chilly.  All good, I can dress warmer, as things cool.  And, it might help with day and night situating.  Though I really do like it cooler.

I got ahold of the neighbor.  I had some tools for him.  He hadn't left for work yet, so stopped on his way out of town.  Gifts.  Curious how the toys will work.  Spoke a bit, got caught up a little.  He is busy this time of year.  And, now, has his brother working with him.  I forgot to ask about his gal.  Just... curious.  Like to stay in a loop or three, as is possible.  Still, all good.

Feeling fairly good.  I'll get some fatted coffee, to warm up, take today's medicine, get a trim, then shower.  And see what else is possible.  Hungry.  But... not really.  Strange, that.  Fed Sassy.  But really need to sort out her litter boxes.  And get fresh water.

A nice day.  Chilly, but I am enjoying that.  And... if it cools well enough, the mosquitoes will be gone.  It's not quite actually cold enough.  But is closing in.  And, cool enough that they become dormant earlier.  Only being a problem for the first part of the night.  Far fewer this year than last.  Last year, hereabouts, it was a bit rough.

Well, on to a coffee, maybe a trim first, then a coffee while I do a bit more browsing.  Then get a shower, and hopefully set dishes back up.  Then who knows what.  Good morning and day.  Later.

A good night of sleep.

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.

Closer to an actual night.  Awake at midnight, then midnight thirty.  Tried to sleep more, giving up at 00:48.  Opening up, upstairs.  These days I don't worry about whether it will be cool enough to be worth it.  Tonight it turns out it was 58 out there already.  Keeping the house partly unlidded when I go to sleep, all I really need to do is open the front door to get some  cooling in.

It was 70/72 upstairs, 75/76 downstairs, and 77 still near the computer.  Very strange, if you ask me, that this computer corner, and my sleep corner, are the warmest areas in the house, with or without anything cooling or heating.  At least in the summer.  We'll see, in the winter.  Though, this front room for sure is colder in the winter.  Save this area, compared to the rest of this room.

Well, back to the list.  A trim, a shower, dishes, and laundry.  Then, if possible, into the bathroom... some cleaning.  And, then, maybe counters.  It's the plan.  A bunch of new and new/old videos popped.  I'll have to try to... curate them, into a... story.  *grins*  A woman, or women, teasing.  Offering what they no more offer, in truth, than I can more than laugh at, or rebuff.  

I see no women, with any interest.  And, even if I saw such a woman, in America, at this point, I would probably have to reject her.  Most American women are ruinous.  They might just want love, but they have become as ticks.  Just... the truth.  We can, I suppose, be friends from a distance.  Ask or expect no more.  I'll... think about putting that together.  It was a music bombing, was chaotic.  Wonderful, in some ways.  But... even if fully rejected, the idea is always pleasant.

Oh... on with it.  Medicine down, the last of yesterday's.  I'll have to remember to get the next lot in in, say, six hours.  Then, try to remember to finish the last of today's medicine around bedtime.  It's just, at around bedtime, memory goes to shit.  Just remember to go to bed, at bedtime, is half a trick.  Still, I'll... try.  Good morning, night, day, or... whatever the hell it is.

A bit rough.

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.

Not sure why.  Ah, hitting 14:08, so I have stretched my day a bit.  And it is heating up, to 81 in this room.  Well, and I keep waiting for a call, about the house.  I don't think I'll get that call.  Which... is fine.  As I said, I am in a pretty good situation.  Would only sell out of it for enough padding to land well somewhere else.

Whatever is up with ups, or amazon, both really, seems to have partially sorted itself out.  Nothing was scheduled to be delivered, in spite of it all being in to the local shop.  Then, the items looked to no longer be even at the local shop.  They were wiped, on amazon, as being local... since Friday or Saturday.  With no notice, as I wash checking again, it indicated that one of the packages had arrived?  Very strange, usually they put it down that the package(s) are out for delivery.  As I mentioned, earlier, they were showing that the items hadn't even arrived locally.

There is something really strange going on in there.  Too few workers?  Workers not getting paid enough, so becoming gremlins?  Hacks on their software... getting packages delivered to the wrong addresses?  Some of it is definitely inside demolition, but some of it is outside, if there is just as likely collaboration.  A joint effort to rob whatever is popular, or wanted.  Perhaps a black market bid on packages?  Things are going south, fast.  This will kill amazon.  Though, not sure they were making money.  How much of it was fiction?  I realize China's economy is going down, because it is bunk.  Didn't realize America and probably Europe too, are... more bunked?  Yea, I'm starting to think so.  God have mercy on those who no longer can.  If this hits like it is looking to hit, life will be tight.  And, yes, that includes me.  If money becomes worthless, life will become exceedingly dangerous.

It's in the signs.  Everything from "workers needed" (if at places no one would wish to work).  To the lowering of pay, rising of costs... just buying gasoline to get to work?  How many are dying, from the shot?  Can't stand, or do much?  Seriously, things are going very badly, and not just here.  I think America, technically, is in better shape to pull through, but only after some serious pain.  Some places will literally become Mad Maxvilles.  Parts of America will, have... big cities.  Even out here, in the country, it's... getting... bad.  Especially for solo acts.

Whatever.  I'll try to make a call, since I couldn't make a trip.  Do what you can, I guess.  I'll try to get in this week, but... yeah... it's tight.  Later, or goodnight.

Up to 70.

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.

Or, last I checked.  Not the sunniest of days, again.  If not terribly dark.

Another someone is asking about the house.  I don't have much hope, but... that's not the deal.  If I can't get my price, I have reasonable "rent".  So be it.  Just texting at the moment.  Seems to be a new one.  I had the others indicated on my phone... their numbers...  This time I let them know, right off, what the quote was, and that it was out of context... as I see things.  I love, and hate, that dance.

Oh, right.  First the intro.  Then the checkup.  Now to another handler.  Pretty typical.  I know this is going nowhere.  But... what do I have to lose?  Any inspection I will delay for a few weeks.  Gives me some time, again, to get some things in better order.  Ugh.

Up, still.  Haven't showered yet, but... it's... coming.  Brushing my teeth, back on meds... except insulin... bleh.  Will... sort things out.  After something or nothing with this potential buyer x?  I'll get in and shower.  Trim whiskers first, then shower.  Put dishes in.  Then?  I don't know.  Lost, in the day.

I did have breakfast.  Eggs and corned beef hashed browns.  Good enough.  Spicy enough for me to note, but not too much.  I added the two hottest spices, in my usual amounts, but it just wasn't there.  Though I have noted, as with cold, heat, hearing, and other sensations, sometimes everything is toned down.  I think, today, things are toned down.  I'll... keep at it, anyway.

Oh, nothing has been sent, on other orders.  And, what was listed as having arrived at Logan, is now showing as not there, and only arriving tomorrow.  Something is really wrong with both amazon and ups.  Well, and they have put me on the short list, for writing about my experiences with them.  No one even reads here, except people like them, when named.

Yes.  I'll... keep at it.  The goal, today, besides those things, is to stay up until 15:00?  As late as 18:00, if possible.  Not... sure I am seeing that.  But... we'll see.  Have a great morning, day, and later.  Oh... one... more... day.

Almost cold.

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.

Not bad at all.  But... when checking the temperature outside, I felt cold.  Heck, walking through the house to get back there gave me the first inklings of a chill.  It is reading 56, but... it's on the much cooler side of it.  Moisture in the air?  Dew?  Low... or high(?)... barometric pressure?  Something.  It feels cold.  I have turned off the fans down here.

Yes, here by the machine, it is 74.  Everywhere else was 72/73.  But the cool air is coming in, swirling around, even with not fans, like a serpent of cold.

Strange noises out there.  Skunk?  Racoon?  Something... strange.  It sort of hissed, or growled, at something else... a fussy child? another of it's kind? some other type of creature? or just a hiccup, sneeze, or general alert/warning?  Almost sounded like a little sneeze, but not quite.  Too... specific, like a fake sneeze.  Further out, the lowing of cattle.  Crickets in closer.  Vehicles... a semi this time, though every half hour to hour, even out here, a vehicle goes by.  Fewer vehicles than ever before, since I moved in though.

When I first moved in, it was... fairly busy.  Then it got busier.  For some years it was so busy, night and day, I felt I had lost my home.  I tuned it out, for there was little else to do.  But, since covid, and I would say for a year or so before, things started to slow back down.  It would jump, traffic, from time to time.  As if trying to bring back the "glory days" of horrid traffic.  But it just couldn't make it.

For good or ill, traffic is slower, less frequent, mostly just a thing around morning, noon, and a couple of different night shifts.  For me?  I am satisfied with less traffic.  Though, really, I am used to it, and mostly don't hear it, unless I listen for it.  Hmm, oh, but they do go through more slowly.  They really have slowed it down, mostly.  That I appreciate more than else, even if it is just in the back of my mind, somewhere being noticed by an ear in the back of the mind.

Wow.  That cool, cold really, is definitely snaking it's way in.  I may have to close the front door.  Maybe trim the windows a bit more.  A great thing.  If nights cool, and days follow, it is easier to sleep at night.

I really am hoping to get trash and recycling out.  Not sure if there is enough trash to go, but recycling should do all right with what is out and in.  Then a shower... trim first, then shower.  Dishes in.  Laundry upstairs and a start on that all.  Maybe, tonight.  It is well cool enough.  And, if it gets feeling too cold, I have... fixes for that.  I can't do much if it is too hot, but I can manage cooling temps well, fashionably perhaps, even.

I'll set the timer for an hour.  I want to just... enjoy the cool.  Though, as suggested, I may at least shut the front door, and maybe get a fatted mocha type thing going.  I am hankering for eggs and corned beef hashbrowns too.  Before or after trash? shower?  I'll... think about it as I sip my warm chocolate coffee.

Oh, it is almost seeming as if amazon has... stopped.  I ordered a few more things, but nothing has started shipping for... days now?  Yea.  I am wondering if they are closing up shop?  Very strange, but perhaps shipping has eaten them whole, and ups with it.  Those fuel costs almost can't be... negotiated.  And prices can't be raised much more?  Breaking point?  We'll see.  I have things ordered as early as August 11th which haven't even been started.  It's not just the time, but... a feeling.  As if the world is... changing.  Later.

Sleep was very good.

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.

I would say I woke at 22:00.  But didn't shake it off and get out of bed until 22:30.  I was trying to make it to midnight, but realized that wasn't going to happen.  It was 13:30 when I crashed, as it ended, so nine down.  And, it was a pretty solid sleep.  It was 73/70 up there.  I opened up before I came downstairs.

I have been missing medicine, again, again.  I am three days off.  How?  I... just don't get that.  I have full intent to take medicine.  Beyond will, it should be habit?  By now?  And, yet, I... I don't take it.  Water had been piling on, that was my first clue that something was amiss.  I don't think it was missing the meds, that was the problem.  That is a symptom.

While this high summer is very... pleasant?  Yes, pleasant.  It is still high summer.  The sun is on all the time, even when it is overcast.  It is always, near me, 73 to the low to even mid eighties.  Summer has wiped me out.  Not as bad as some summers, in that it is both cooler for summer and because I am tolerating the heat better.  But... for a while, I am done.  

My simple goals are a) to still make lists and check off anything I can, but not worry if nothing gets done... mostly... a few things I really have to push toward, b) to eat, something, anything, every day, c) drink enough, but try to drink in sips, it's tricky when what is needed can be had to great excess... water is as dangerous one way, for me, as it is the other, and finally, d) hold on, to wakefulness, conscious awareness, and even to physical effort, as is possible.  

Those four things are what is left.  I won't do too much, or more than those and at minimums often.  Until it begins to cool, into the 70s out there, I am pretty much just holding one.  Well, I am trying to push my days around, and getting there.  But that is just positioning myself for a tussle in the future?  Mostly.  I have something that must be done soon, as soon as possible.  And... we'll see.

It is cooler earlier tonight, to 62 out there already, or at 22:30.  It was 78 here near the machine, 75 and 76 elsewhere in the house.  I have opened up down here, now, too.  Or a bit more.  I keep things a bit more open, now that it is only getting to the 80s during the day.  80s?  Well, that is what I suspect, as cool as the upstairs stays, and how tame it is when I return downstairs.  And, being partly cloudy, it is cooler still.

Well... on to waking.  My goals are the same.  Brushed my teeth first thing, and am tanking up on water.  Went with a rare perrier, two actually, to start.  I know, I know, but I am so very thirsty!  Trying to sip.  Thirsty!  Later.

Well...

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.

Nothing.  And nothing will happen.  It is nearing 13:00, it is 82 outside, or so?  Memory is... failing.  I would go look again, but I would as likely forget before I got back.  I might even forget to finish the post and on to bed.  It... has happened before.  So, we'll just go with it being 82 out there.  Warming well indoors, though not terrible.

Upstairs, being closed back up and with the ac back on, should be pleasantly cool.  My problems with summer is, when I get used to the warmth, I can't quite shut off.  And, the cool seems cold, or too cool.  While I still can't sleep with the temperature much above 73.  I can go in, at 75, if I have just turned the ac on, and have the fans going, and that is cooling it.  Otherwise I can't sleep at even 74 or higher.  Rest, sure.  I can lay there.  But when I need sleep, no.  Won't happen, can't.

Sassy has been fed well.  Given some decent attention.  If it is too warm, she won't come around.  For her, it is around 75.  That or above and she will go find somewhere cool to rest.  Only bothering... *cough* getting my attention if she is hungry.  Lower than that and she may populate, wanting itches, scratching, massages, and my attention.  Gladly offered.

Again, a daydream of being shot many times, but not dying.  I even recovered quickly.  Sometimes I am sure I am in purgatory, and my dreams and daydreams are more things that happened, but in different aspects, as I let go of... some things.  Or, perhaps, a form of learning to let me ego dissipate?  Can't be sure.  But they seem so real, at times.  This time it was a bit distant.  Though, in part, because my mind remembers having just daydreamed something similar, most recently, and not having been very satisfied with that.  Worse, knowing I was daydreaming, but having no control.  That is... irritating.

I made it to the afternoon.  I have prayed, quietly, several times.  I am hoping God hears my prayers.  Mostly just gratitude, though hoping he keeps some people in His hands, tends their needs and right wills, and offers them what they need.  How can a father, or Father, do that, while seeming to do nothing?  It's a trick that belies understand, but it truly works.  Or... at least it hasn't failed me, even when I had turned my back on Him.  

Good, good.  Now, to make it a bit later tomorrow.  Then, begin putting on the breaks... slowing or stopping my sleep cycle changes as best I am able.  If everything works, I might be able to level out for up to three or four months, as the world cools.  I'll do my best.  It isn't good enough for you, or me, or God.  Thankfully, I don't need to be perfect.  Yet.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.

A nice morning.

.

.

Not getting anywhere.  I did just check temperatures, and shut things down... mostly.  It is up to 68 outside, 70 and 72 upstairs, and 71 and 73 up front, down here.  Overcast, by a majority and some, I should thing.  Say... 60 to 80 percent, depending on the moment and capacity to guesstimate.  And, a rather humid day, for Utah.  This would be considered a tame day, by Iowa standards... in the real 60 to 70 percentages.  Sometimes it reads that, but doesn't feel it.  Today it reads and feels it.  A bit... heavy, sluggishness inducing, but... mildly pleasant in an odd way... like the feel of a clean, midweight cotton shirt, on the skin, after a shower and time to rightly dry.

I am still hoping to get a shower in, trim first if I remember.  Shave?  Not today?  But dishes put in, after.  There is always tomorrow.  And that may be required.  But, if I can, I'll do it today.  Been on about it for a while, but it just hasn't happened.  Today?  I can hope.  Such odd weather though.  It's as if it is trying to be August, but is really later September, or even mid October.  It's... an odd way, out this way, this year.

Well... On to something.  Food, actually.  I heated a little something up a bit earlier.  Ate some of it.  Will have some more.  Then, maybe, get to something more.  Good morning, day, and later.

Just browsing the world.

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.

Sometimes with intention, sometimes not.  Not... ignoring my duties, just unable to attend to them.  Keeping them in mind, hoping, looking, for windows of opportunity.  It may seem strange, but that is what I have available to me.  Barely managing consciousness, so I just can't hate on myself.

It got down to 61, but then very unusually, the temp climbed to 63.  Just a few degrees, but still well into the dark morning.  I think it was around 03:00 when it jumped the two degrees.  And, it has stayed that little bit higher.  Even so, it is pleasant in here.

I have the upstairs and down here open, and fans going.  Maybe an hour or two more, for what it is worth.  Then I'll have to shut things down.  I was able to stay awake until nearly 11:00 yesterday morning.  I am hoping to push back through to the afternoon today.  A 13:00, though 14:00 or even 16:00 down would be great.  Not sure I can keep it, depends on weather... a bit.  Too hot?  I'll keep spinning.  Too cold?  I'll crash.  Dark?  I'll crash.  If it just cools mildly, slowly, and doesn't get too dark for too long, I should... be able to grab the reins back, and saddle myself to some work.

Though, even if I crash for a bit, I know the time is coming.  It will cool, and reasonably... for a goodly spit of time... months.  I should be able to do some serious work, again, this fall.  And, very possibly well into winter.  Right up until winter shuts me down.

The plan?  To continue with the house, clearing, cleaning, sorting, and getting things that need to go into boxes and ready for another dumpster rental.  When I have two loads worth of boxes to go, then call it in.  And... keep digging.  One more month of dumps, and it should be good.  For now.

As well, I need to get to the wood out there.  Fallen branches, and the old wood I have behind one of the outbuildings.  Sort that out.  Plus, clean up the lawn, get rid of some of the hoses that are no good, rake, and such.  We will see how things go, but things went really well this spring.  And, I think, while I have fallen a bit, I am still way ahead overall.  Now to double what I had completed.

The goal is to nearly clear the place, to show, or to allow repairs and updates, or... both.  I will begin saving, again, in earnest, through the fall and winter.  To get some things done, in prep as well for a bike, just to have... things on a more even keel.  Cash in hand.  While I will be losing to low interest and high inflation, for bigger items and repairs, I have to have larger dollars around.  Though, through the winter, I will also be gearing for the bike, tools and riding protection, plus doing some sewing, but mostly focusing on saving for the spring.  Perhaps, if I have enough by January to be sure, start getting quotes for new electrical.  And, if the house is in shape, get quotes for kitchen flooring.  Maybe new living room carpeting.  Perhaps I could get a deal on a two for one thing, at some discount, sort of program.  Who ever knows.

So, I look, research and sort.  Though... there are other things.  Like learning maintenance on the water softener.  And... a few other projects I could do, in the house, myself.  So many things to do, but I... really hit it this spring.  And as mentioned, I think I can this fall, again, too.  On into nearing midwinter.  Work, work, work, work, work.  I do enjoy it, when I can.  It is nearing that time.  I am excited!  Later.

A motorcycle.

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.

Yes.  Not certain it will ever come about.  But the plans are in motion.  Prices, costs, tools, all sorts of doubts.  To be honest, I was more concerned with picking the bike up after a fall.  Going to happen.  Then I looked around.  Oh, I realized, it isn't a pure deadlift, or bench press, thing.  Even so, I wasn't sure.  Now, while I have almost no stamina, I still have a good deal of serious physical strength.  Good for a short operation... to include picking up a bike.  Plus, I looked around.  There is a method or three to it.

Once that was out of the way, I wanted to look up some other things.  Modern automobiles are beyond the ken of most people.  The Xterra?  Not sure.  Though I may end up trying to figure out how to change my oil on that.  The rest?  So far, no problems.  But... for the most part... I'm not secure in working on that.  But a bike?  Maybe.  At least for some things.

Here are a few ideas of what might be possible.  There are other services that are rather possible, with a motorcycle.  As mentioned, I don't have every tool I would like.  But I do have quite a few tools.  Including small to larger torque wrenches, most standard sockets and wrenches, even a mechanical impact wrench... though I may have a weaker cordless impact?  Maybe.  Anyway... I have quite a collection of tools.  Not pro-level, Snap-On... or such.  But enough for a single bike, or bike and suv.  As, I suspect, I learn on the bike, I may transfer that to the Xterra.

Some videos.  The thing is, as you learn more, you either do more, or back out, back off, and change directions.  Biking, itself, will go that way too.  Though, hereabouts, biking is pretty much limited to six months of the year, maybe eight.  Though, on drier years, maybe even more if one can sort out the cold.  But... a starter collection for ideas on what can be done.  Further, what isn't shown, is break bleeding (using a compressor loader, so a one-man job) and changing a tire, down to taking  off the tire, and repairing tubes, as needed.  But, those too, are required... because of the off-road factor.  Here you go.

Yea, well, awake.

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.

I have been awake since 20:30?  Give or take a score or minutes.  It's 22:40, and I'm not sure... what I have been doing.  I did get Sassy fed.

She has been eating the chunky foods, with gravy, lately.  But I used something else.  Pate.  Or, half pate, half of the gravy stuff.  I put two packages of her wet food up, so as to have feed out for her, for a month, or nearly.  And, I stack them with alternating foods each day.  Anyway, I... had worried.  I thought she didn't like pate.

As it turns out, whether she did or didn't, she sure enjoyed it this time.  It's been several months since she has had pate.  All good.  I do keep to one brand, but I use many of their various flavors and textures.  To be honest, Sassy is a pretty good eater.  I think it may have been Sam who was picky?  Or... about textures?  Can't... remember, fully.  One of them really didn't like it, and I had thought it was Sassy.  Though it might have been a particular flavor?  Since they don't talk, I don't always, exactly, understand.  It isn't spoiling a cat, to not feed it what it won't eat.  That is just taking care of the creature.

So, why did I put the pate in the lineup?  I didn't realize it was pate, until it was opened.  Then, I wanted to see if she would eat it.  She didn't so much eat it, as devour it.  She seemed quite pleased with the change of pace.  So...  Otherwise I would have dumped it, and gotten her food she will eat.  But, no problems.

Hmm... went looking for something, got lost for an hour.  Anyway... back?  Probably.  Oh... about bikes, a motorcycle that is?  I am beginning to look for tools, more specifically for it.  Mostly looking at Japanese bikes, so, looking at metric tools.  But, also looking for small, multifunctional, easy to carry type of tools.  Though some tools can be kept at home, some are wanted for the bike, especially for any off-road touring.

Now, off-road, for a motorcycle, isn't the exact same as it is for four-wheel vehicles.  There is some crossover.  But, no mudding, for example.  And, for biking, I wouldn't go literally off-road.  Oh, you can, as was shown with the Darien Gap video.  I mean, you can.  But they were hauling that bike as much, or more, than they were riding it.  It wasn't transport, is what I mean, it was dead luggage.  No thank you.  

But, dirt roads, old mountain logging roads, and, maybe, a few odd places which offer challenges, such as mountain trails, game trails, or such.  You can go where no one has gone before, try to find a new way, but that... like other such things, is risk taking beyond my interest.  I have already proven what I need to prove, to whom that was necessary (or not).  If I need to do something risky, I'll do it.  But if not necessary, I won't.

Anyway, even for what I am thinking, I would want tools, gear, expendables (such as tube kits, if I go that way, wiring, fuses).  The question is, how much can you practically take.  What can you do with a small pack?  How much can you minimize?  If you have everything, and time, plus some food and water, you... can sort things out.  Which includes your particular motorcycle manual, if most likely on your phone.  Still, it will work.  However, having nothing, being fifty or a hundred miles out, you will be n a survival journey.  A hundred miles, in the wrong place, is a death sentence.  Even if there is a clear road to follow.

So, yeah, I have been shopping, buying some things already, and... sorting.  Further?  I'll be buying a helmet, padded jacket, pants, and bike boots, before I ever begin leaning into a bike.  I'll probably spend the next three to five months looking at gear, at bikes, seeing what is available, and such.  Then, won't begin considering buying until spring.  If someone had been serious about the house, that would have changed things.  As is?  It'll... just have to wait.  Though, if there is a way to train on motorcycles, without owning one, and getting my license, I may see about that.

Well... there you go.  I will be getting a motorcycle, probably next spring.  If possible.  It may not be what I want, to start out.  Just... a starter bike, in the 650 or larger size.  Just local transport, and a learning device.  But it should work.  And, by then, I will have minimal protection and most of the equipment and tools I need, both for the shop and on the bike for trips.  Or, that is the theory.

Down to 63, right at midnight.  I suppose, after two interruptions, I will finish this post.  Later.