Now it is heavy sleep that is eating me.

.
.
My cycle has been, mostly, staying up half days and sleeping about four hours.  That model, I am told by management, is no longer fashionable.  No!  We are on to sleeping full plus cycles while staying up as little as four hours.  It would be nice if they would mention this before the switch.  Taking medicine became a bit trickier, as does getting food down.  Feeding the girls has even become a trick.  Knowing what day it is is a fun old game with new rules.  This too shall pass.  Friday, still, or again, or... something.  Sleeping too much is rude to my body.  That does cause aches, I see now.  But alarm clocks and wanting to be up, targeting times in my mind and such, have zero impact on things.  My alarm did wake me today, two hours after it started ringing, and probably only then because Sassy came in and added her help.  Actually, this time, I was quite grateful for her help.  Ugh.

Oh, not complaining.  If this is helping my heart, and it seems to be if slowly, then I will endure this.  A six percent improvement isn't much, but it is enough for the moment.  And that six percent is in a form that is dubious... the real improvement is nearly double that in terms most people would truly understand.  My bp was better in some ways today, 138/100 or so.  If that bottom number falls, even to 80, I am in top shape.  Then I will be in a position to conscientiously veto any further med increases save one I would allow, knowing I am doing as good as I can, for a while anyway.  We will see what swimming brings.  That may help as well.  They have a full day of lap swim schedule, off and on, so I should be able to swim two or three times a week regardless of my weird sleep patterns, if I can just have enough energy to simply get there.

I feel sorry for the people who have nowhere to go with their health.  Those who can't live on their own at all.  I have done everything I know how to keep from being like that.  If I am not sure such things are in our hands, really.  The fit, right-eating, man who gets paralyzed by accidentally stepping in front of a bus.  The woman who does everything right only to have a freak embolism from a bruise from an happenstance oddity in life cause her a career-ending stroke.  Let alone those who do everything right to no good ends anyway, simply having their body begin to die, fail, pump out the wrong number of various hormones, or begin growing cancers, all for no known reason at all.  And of course death is never too far, whether sought or avoided.  And even death cannot be commanded, one way or the other.  In the world of recorded history of man I am already nearly an ancient.  A thing many seem to forget.  Even in my own youth it was not uncommon for folk to not live long enough to see their great grand children.  Four generations, alive at once, was considered a minor miracle when I was growing up.  Now it's all but expected.  So my issues sort of need to be put into perspective.  And, I suppose, our medical field has to be given some serious thanks.  That last I tend to forget in my knotted little world of exhaustion, sleep oddities, physical aches, headaches, and such.

Well, on to... who knows.  I will probably continue to use that day lamp to read by at least once a day, and for Latin lessons when I restart those.  I don't know if it will end up doing any good at all, but it sure makes reading easier.  And, after all, I actually still enjoy reading.  I just won't go full throttle as I did before I was ill.  My guess is I read up to seven, maybe nine, books a week back then.  Even as a child I didn't read the candy cane teen books, but mostly classics, even the "boring" ones.  Especially the boring ones, they were interesting to me.  A book or two a week would be fine for me, at this point.  But I will have to work up to that.  Hmm, mix and match?  A fun reader such as the Screwtape Letters followed by one of the econ books?  Yes, that might work.  What I found with reading is, even if you end up having to screw your face up to read, if it is a book you "should read", then just deciding to do it, then doing it, is the best way to go.  Picking and choosing leads to the bottom very quickly.

Good day.