Alone?

.
.
I am having trouble getting going after the wonderful start.  I did cook the remaining kale and cauliflower.  Steaming really does that well.  I will be seeking over vegetables to steam.  It's a really easy way to cook, and keeps the good stuff in with just a bit of an eye and a timer.  Broccoli, artichokes, though mostly in the green stuff, and asparagus.  I do love asparagus.

I watched a show about men doing time in one of the maximum prisons.  I would guess I fairly high number of those men could be termed psychotic.  Though whether that is real or contrived I have my doubts.  Further, even if it were to be true, by their own measure, most with that condition are not criminal... which... given the givens seems unlikely.

The thing is, even if they have issues, many of the men there learn to not like being alone.  Funny thing, to me, is they receive more contact per day that I have for most of my illness save when I was in a hospital or living with someone, which was a vast minority of the time.  Even in there, they have vents by which they may speak with one to three other inmates, plus having all of their meals delivered, a daily visit by their cell manager, and any other event access they might have earned, such as group work a few times a week.

Not that I would trade, mind you.  When I am doing well I can go anywhere.  If I want to go at midnight, because that is when I can go, and if it is available, so be it.  Just, I don't... think most people understand.  Oh, it took some significant time to adjust.  I also can talk the ear off almost any creature, man or otherwise.  Although, with the girls around, I have... possibly... become slightly less needy that way?  Nah.  Or... if so... that would be a relative, not objective, statement.

Truth is we are all alone, most of the time.  What we give up to make it seem otherwise, what we tell ourselves?  Even right there, with another, or many?  Sometimes that seems worse, as it has reminded me of just how alone I truly am.  Though, with the right ones, and mostly, rare as they are?  I can be happy enough.  If, too, I have learned to fly alone.  Mostly.

I am hoping to push on through, get a shower, set some dishes to soak, get out, and... something.  I'm not thinking all that well.  More a lack of focus.  Life isn't bad, this morning, merely a bit mushy on the stick.  Flight controls just won't turn this bird over... like flying a rock with a jet.  Oh well, I think I'll get what I want done, just not quickly.  Good day.