Such problems!

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I have things... to do.  Groceries, bills to pay... things which require showering, dressing correctly, and driving.  I have the money.  I simply can't get everything together to get going.  I thought to call, for help... just a little help.  But that isn't possible.  One of the bills needing paid is the phone.

I did get chores done.  I filled some of the bottles to be frozen.  A few other very small things.  But I keep running out of energy.  I checked blood sugar.  It is 272 or so.  I am afraid to take insulin, at the moment.  Every time I do, it drops too far and fast.  I keep taking less.  It keeps not mattering!  Even when I allow myself to eat, it just plummets.

If I can shift days and nights just a bit more, I can get in shortly after waking.  So it won't be such a stretch.  Still, it would be nice to get the insulin to work as it should.  I'm not sure, exactly, what the trouble is.  I am eating the right foods.  I don't have anything else in the house to eat, mostly.  It must be heart medicine.  I've had trouble with diabetes when starting medicine before.

Oh, but it was quite nice outside.  I would love to go out, be out in it.  It hit 60, last I looked.  That's... rather warm for recent weather.  We had that for a bit, then it fell again.  I have turned the furnace off, and opened windows downstairs.  I am attempting to stay awake until later this afternoon.  No promises, but... maybe.  When I do go upstairs, if I can keep focus, maintain memory, I will open the windows up there as well.  Perhaps turn a fan on down here and up there as well.

I keep dreaming of women I have loved, or wanted to love.  There are some number of women who were interested in me, as well.  Sometimes things just didn't work out.  Sometimes, I think, people didn't want us together... interfered.  Or, we... just were always in the wrong places at the right times... never could get away together.  The look, in a woman's eyes, when she... likes you.  When she is open to you.  It's... a fantastic thing.  Even if it is never fulfilled.  I... like women, certain ones.  Though, there are some women I will avoid like the plague.

Oh, I meant to order meds.  Two med-sets isn't much.  And insulin is running low.  Another month?  I think so.  Phone.  It isn't paid.  More?  I don't want to pay it until at least the third... then put it on autopay.  Ugh...  I am so stuck in something akin to limbo.  Can't think, work, even play.  I just drift.

I'll... keep working on it.  Later.  Or good night.  Actually, I think I pretty much have to crash.  Good night, and day.