Secret King

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I have heard that used as an accusation.  I... had to laugh.

There is... no secret about it.  As a child of God, which even the darker amongst us may be, there are none but kings.  Urhm, save for the queens.   And, no, if you have to try to get the law to push others to call you that, you... aren't a queen, or king.  Meh.  Those who are not viable sons of God, or who are on a path other than to Rome, are not kings.  Perhaps some may never go that way.  Christ said He was here for the many, not most, certainly not all.  What "the many" means is... for Him to sort.  Though... we can speculate.

I won't speculate, not this time, in this moment, for this post.

A secret winner, then, I am told.  I... did laugh.  There has never been a time I am a secret winner.  Sometimes I do win, but... don't share.  Why bother.  Either do, or do not.  Can I be wrong?  I hope so.  Anyone who thinks they are right all of the time, probably even most of the time, is... seeking headaches beyond their capacity to ameliorate.  Not the exact correct term, but with historic meaning.  For one.  But, that isn't important either.  Remember, Christ won it all by dying.  So... winning... is sort of a tricky thing... assuming you believe.  I think many fail to believe because they can't see victory in the grave.  Fair enough, for animals.  

Further, and to be honest, I... avoid the idea of winning.  Not that I am not competitive.  Not that I don't care about "being right, or correct, or such".  More that, winning, in a world of sin, is a thing of pride.  No heaven can Lucifer show me is greater than my pride.  Watch this thing.  Still, it's more.  It is also because winning, for my sake, on my terms... there is nothing that turns my blood cold and causes more trepidation.  Oh, it could happen.  And I'd regret it only slightly less than Satan regrets his choices, even if zit can't change them.  No no, His will, or nothing.  I'd rather be a humble mouse than a worldly victor.  Or, more, a victor within my will, my way.

I pray I don't win, not too consistently.  Even in my best natured attempts, of my own, I will fail, fall.  All that is good, in or from me, falls from the tree of the One Who made me.  To my own devices, I am, currently, of sin.  Fallen.  Whether man, nephilim, or child of djinn.  Yes, I know... of those, too.  Or, their possibility.

If I am to win, while it won't be secret, neither will it be my doing.  It will be a grace, by doing His will.  The Father's.  For now.  And just how well do I do that?  I can't even perfectly take my medicine, or eat and drink so that my illnesses are controlled, no matter how well I try.  So... doing God's will?  I can't even know His will, not fully.  But that is my absolute intention.

A secret winner?  I don't think so.  If I nail myself to God's butt, I might get across the finish line whole, or at least right.  If that is winning?  There is no secret.  Even if I have dark, heavy, hard things before me.  Willingly, willfully, rightly, wrongly... it is all about His will.  He has already won.  I... can't do or undo that.

Still, if it is His will.  And we meet.  And you are in the way of His will?  

Win, lose, or draw, I will do.  *wink*

Too?  Either you are a party to the Bride of Christ, or you are not?  Humbling?  I should think so.  But it is a very good start.  A death of ego.

All I am good at is naval gazing, as I die painfully.  He even did that better.

Both faster, and more severe.  It's... like... I'm His retarded little brother.  Can't die, don't sin, what do you do?  Oh, yes, revisionism of even old rock.  Oh well.