Friday, October 29, 2021

Awake?

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Mostly.  I think medicine and weather have me under the weather.  Well, and not eating well, correctly, enough.  I just can't cook.  Well, in part because I can't clean.  Though cooking would be difficult even if I had clean pots, pans, dishes, and else.  Even if available, I couldn't necessarily use the resources which may, or may not, be available.

So hungry.  At least I got a meal yesterday.  Not sure about today.

I think I have been awake for several hours.  A shower would be good.  A long one, working, again, on dry patches, toenails, and warming.  I really enjoyed that last shower.  Wanted another, just wasn't up to another one yesterday.  But, yes, maybe today.  As long as I don't think I might lose consciousness in the process.  Yes, it is that difficult lately.  Will just have to see how things go.

On the good side, I am half way through the second week of medicine.  It may take a few more days, or weeks, or... months perhaps... in order to adjust back to medicine.  Eating, at least a meal a day, may be the difficult thing to sort out.  I am not sure, it alone... food... could solve the problem.  There is also the cool, cold, weather.  The darkness, if the sun is out today.  There is more than just food, or the lack of it.  Still, food would help.  I don't need much.  Just enough.  Ah... if I could shop, getting lettuce for taco salads... and figuring out how to fry burger... and cheese for sandwiches...  little things, but they really help.  If I could just get to town!  So difficult.

Trying to sort through things.  I'll... do my best.  So very tired, achy, weak, right to the point of fearing actually passing out.  The symptoms... eyes dilating, blurry vision, spots of light, breathing difficulty, weakness all at once so standing, walking, and carrying even small items becomes difficult.  Light headedness...  And, actually, even as mentioned, cells in muscles feeling like they are on fire... burning.  Difficulty breathing?  Shortness of breath?  Something like those.  I don't actually feel like I can't breath, more that the breath isn't being used.  Some burning in the lungs?  And it is difficult to think, remember what to do or... what should be done.

I am pretty sure I have gone through this before.  I suspect it is the medicine.  Though, perhaps, medicine is adding to some other problem, or some other problem is resembling the medicine side effects?  I may have been accusing medicine incorrectly?  Just thinking the two were one.  And, maybe, there is some connection.  Maybe medicine makes diabetes symptoms worse?  Or enhances the illness?  I just can't be sure.

As bad as it has gotten, I may be better, enough, currently, to do some sorting... for now.  I might be able to try a few things.  Though if it continues to be like this, or get worse, I may get in some sort of trouble... going down for months, hard.  Or... maybe... worse.  I'll try to sort some of this, as possible.  I've definitely had worse.  Later.

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