Monday, October 25, 2021

Late and in pain.

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I have certainly had worse though.  Just a constant, medium level, pain mostly in the midsection.  Guts, really.  A painkiller to start the day, and medicine.  Not a lot of pain, just... a lot of pain?  It hurts a little in many places.  It doesn't even add up to all that much, but it does make doing anything a bit of a cranky operation.  So... as mentioned, painpills.

Six days on medication.  It's going well.  I am still very tired.  I... have things to do, but am so tired so often that I forget, or am unable to do, those things.  Contacting friends, family, doing chores, cleaning, even getting showers in.  Though, too, it has been mostly dark for the last week.  Still overcast, and raining, today.  Wet, this last week, pretty much every day.  A bit unusual, just not too terribly so.  We often get rain, or snow, but usually a bit more spread out?  And often a bit earlier in the year?  Meh, I think fall is always up for grabs, as is spring, as to rain.  It has been good for sleep.

I have slipped.  Sleeping later and later.  I think, last night, it was after 01:30, perhaps later than 02:30?  Waking at 11:30.  I did set the alarm, the late one.  I have no idea what happened.  Did I just turn it off?  Did I hit the snooze until later turning it off, or maybe it just did it's available cycles and turned itself off.  I have no idea.  I do know, a few times, once around 07:00, then around 10:00, I did try to wake.  It is what it is.  I do my best.  Even when I woke, I had to crawl out, force myself to wake.  Do as well as I may.

Still... life is good.  Pain, weariness, discomforts galore... all good.  I remember to pray to God, thanking Him for the opportunity to know Him, and pray to Him, even... especially... through the pain.  Seems an odd prayer, but if you ever get to know Him, you will understand.  Even if I end up in hell, I will always pray to Him... believe it or else.  His... praiseworthiness isn't dependent on my salvation.

I best get things going.  I have several things needing done.  Good morning, day, and afternoon already too.  Get to it.  Later.

Such strange creatures.  They hate themselves, and the ones they love.  Until you understand, you can't.  Even when you do, you often won't.  Such strange creatures.

I know.  She knows.  Many know.  Even those who know but refuse to believe.  I don't always get it, or how it will be implemented... I usually don't worry about it.  Usually.

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