.
I have certainly had worse though. Just a constant, medium level, pain
mostly in the midsection. Guts, really. A painkiller to start the
day, and medicine. Not a lot of pain, just... a lot of pain? It
hurts a little in many places. It doesn't even add up to all that much,
but it does make doing anything a bit of a cranky operation. So... as
mentioned, painpills.
Six days on medication. It's going well. I am still very
tired. I... have things to do, but am so tired so often that I forget,
or am unable to do, those things. Contacting friends, family, doing
chores, cleaning, even getting showers in. Though, too, it has been
mostly dark for the last week. Still overcast, and raining, today.
Wet, this last week, pretty much every day. A bit unusual, just not too
terribly so. We often get rain, or snow, but usually a bit more spread
out? And often a bit earlier in the year? Meh, I think fall is
always up for grabs, as is spring, as to rain. It has been good for
sleep.
I have slipped. Sleeping later and later. I think, last night, it
was after 01:30, perhaps later than 02:30? Waking at 11:30. I did
set the alarm, the late one. I have no idea what happened. Did I
just turn it off? Did I hit the snooze until later turning it off, or
maybe it just did it's available cycles and turned itself off. I have no
idea. I do know, a few times, once around 07:00, then around 10:00, I
did try to wake. It is what it is. I do my best. Even when I
woke, I had to crawl out, force myself to wake. Do as well as I may.
Still... life is good. Pain, weariness, discomforts galore... all
good. I remember to pray to God, thanking Him for the opportunity to
know Him, and pray to Him, even... especially... through the pain. Seems
an odd prayer, but if you ever get to know Him, you will understand.
Even if I end up in hell, I will always pray to Him... believe it or
else. His... praiseworthiness isn't dependent on my salvation.
I best get things going. I have several things needing done. Good
morning, day, and afternoon already too. Get to it. Later.
Such strange creatures. They hate themselves, and the ones they
love. Until you understand, you can't. Even when you do, you often
won't. Such strange creatures.
I know. She knows. Many know. Even those who know but refuse
to believe. I don't always get it, or how it will be implemented... I
usually don't worry about it. Usually.
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