Eight hours down, if I count rightly.

.

.

So brutal, to stay up into the afternoon.  My body hurts, just from that.  And, yet, I could only sleep eight hours.  Though I think the girls make noise to try to wake me, and it seems to work.  Which means they don't get fed for four hours after I wake, from now on.  I had stopped doing that, as it had, for a while, become unnecessary.  Though then it was only an hour or two.  I'm doubling it.  Just... to completely wipe the waking equals feeding thing.

They have all the dry food they can eat, 24/7, so it's not like they will starve.  And they have been being little... you know whats... lately.  So, back to the grindstone.  If I can't sleep, they can't eat.  They never did catch on, the time involved, so just stopped connecting my being awake to their getting food.

I even, for a while, tried to feed them whenever they asked.  No, went through a ton of food, most of which was left uneaten, causing even more of a mess.  So... no.  I am renegotiating.  They had improved, I let go of my grip on that, and they... got right back to being little assholes.  So be it.

It almost sounds like it is sprinkling out there.  Pretty sure of it.  Which means it has rained pretty much every day for the last week?  Give or take.  Not necessarily in the day, but day, or night, it seems to be raining at least daily.  And, whether sprinkling or pouring, altogether, we are getting pretty wet.  All good, I think?  At some point flooding might become an issue, if it hasn't.  I haven't heard, but I wouldn't hear.  Life, and newsman/weatherman lies and incorrect predictions can go on without me.

I bought one last pair of shoes.  Hiking sneakers, really.  Extra tread, a bit better build, etc.  I tried two pair.  One is slightly tight, if my feet my be a bit swollen.  The other pair wouldn't fit, and wouldn't have fit regardless of my feet.  I will see if the one pair has a larger size.  Or even it will go back.  The squeeze shoe couldn't make a size that would fit, I don't think.  These kids will kill their feet with that pair.  

Odd what we tolerate to fit in, or because we have idealistic thoughts instead of based reasonable ones.  Oh, I get it.  Been there, done that, still visit for laughs and pain from time to time... if as much to remember why not.  But, yeah.  Even running twenty, or even five, miles a week, let alone every few days?  It'll take their knees out.  Hiking four hundred miles, or more, several seasons in a row?

I don't think I, or they, were, are, looking for something better.  Looking for a way out.  Strange, I found the door to escape, went through it, and was sent back... time after time.  Lucky?  For me, maybe not.  Just a realization that it isn't up to me, and... a humble acceptance.  Them?  I hate to see the better, brighter, more capable (in a right world) get lost, then throw it all away.  Nothing to lose?  Not, seemingly, when the game is rigged against you, and the inferior are sought over the superior.  In a world where the superior are not considered necessary, not wanted, because they expect the world to be run rightly.  The inferior have no problems with cheating, lying, stealing, fraud, or whatever else, as long as they get some small cut of it.  Yeah.  Going John Galt is about what is left, and that is to those who never even had the opportunity to make it.  At least they are woke?  Hahahaha.  Nevermind.

Well... hopefully a bit more work.  Whatever I can do, as much as I can push through, a bit of this and that.  Good night, day, and... morning.  Amen.