Never can tell.

.

.

Some things popped.  Made me look, laugh, even think about crying.  Still, it's... been a... different life.  Is there such a thing as a normal life?  I am sure there are things that pass much closer.  Oh, I'd... love to have had a simple normal life.  Easy mode, at least from here and now, looks like... it would have been better.  But, who knows.

Then again, if I had lived a normal life, I'd think like you.  I'm... not sure I'd prefer that.  The whole universe is set on making everybody think alike, and actually is looking for one being or group of them which could survive, on it's own or in groups, and live almost anywhere.  I call it the modified Tower of Babel resonance.  If you believe in biological evolution, that is the only reason such a mechanism would exist.  If it exists, it is, most likely, unholy.  It's... a devil's thing, or demon's thing really.  But many of you have those things mixed up as well.

I think God wants actual diversity, but not of skin or hair or eyes, but of thought.  With only one right path, it may seem that the highway to heaven would be one way.  But one narrow path isn't always another.  It isn't even a virtuoso, as it is only through God anyway, not our feet.  Only our will, through His graces.  The broad, open, easy path that the many take?  Together?  Don't... go that way.  Though it's... probably too late to help most who are on that path.  Then again, I know, even my footing is shaky.  Always was, was even worse.  You have to even know there is a narrow path, and believe, truly, that there is a reason to take it.  It wasn't until I died that I knew.  Heck, until I died, I wasn't even sure I really believed... for some odd reason.

I keep thinking, why wouldn't people listen?  Ah, then I remember the story of Lazarus and the rich man.  Where, among other things, when the rich man dies, he ends up in hell.  He pleads for many things, including to come back, to warn his brothers for they are following his path.  God, or an angel, suggest that it will do no good.  For the man's brothers would not listen.  Then... it hits.  Still, I write about it.

Anyway.

Sometimes I do, still, see ghosts, and/or other things.  Hallucinations, insanity of some sort, sleep deprivation, leftover issues from induced coma, brain damage from longer or frequent deaths?  I... can't say.  Only, I can tell you I believe what I see, from time to time, is real.  Not... necessarily earthly.  But real.  I have learned to deal with it, sometimes better, sometimes worse.

It makes me wonder if it is a lost love, a dead love, who visits.  I think, to be honest, she does.  She has learned how much it hurts, so keeps it light and brief.  But... she visits.

If she isn't the only one.  A live kitten or two drops in, to... be near... from time to time.  If, as well, at a distance... for a number of reasons.  Monsters, et. al., but, as mentioned, still loved.  It isn't just for their bodies, if it definitely isn't for their minds, I do... enjoy.  Even from a distance, if that is all there is.

Though someone, I think, thinks this is what they would do.  Problem?  I won't start something.  I am closer to the preacher, than the giant.  Imagine if you mixed the two.  A reminder, it isn't my strength or size which is my skill, or was.  It is my speed.  Not for my size, just... my speed.  Yes, mix and match and... if I were you, and you wanted to best me, just shoot me.  But... not just once, even if it lands well.  Empty the magazine before you approach.  Or, better yet, shoot and leave.  I don't care if you are another giant, or the fastest midget you know.  Don't tinker with some trains.

Of course, it might be a woman with a fantasy, one way or another.  Closer than sisters, I'll tell you.  If I... don't always understand.  *wink*

As suggested, a little bit of monster, a lot of trouble, but... worth it.  Worth it?

Yes.

Indeed.

Even as... things are changing.  I'm... not worried.  I will do what is right, good, and true, and let things end as they will.  I think, even now, I have ghosts in the system trying to do right by me.  They often fail, but they... know.  And, when, if, they too are hunted down, and I am alone, or if I go first, so be it.  But I have had an interesting life, known some wonderful women, had some good and... bad... pals.  I have even learned to... clear the air with things, people, long gone, or soon to be.

Amen.