Ever so slightly better.

.

.

Have you ever exerted yourself to the point of seeing stars, blacking out?  Right.  I've been on the verge of that for the last two, even three days... the last week nearly.  If the last few days have been the absolute worst.  I first tried making sure I put on compression socks every day, then added waterpills into my menu.

It kept getting worse.  And, sleeping, laying down, reclining, was becoming impossible.  Or... nearing it.  I needed sleep, still do, very badly.  The fear, during the night, is that I might choke on phlem or else, that it might... get me.  Seriously.  It was concerning.

I guess I don't mind dying, but that would be a difficult way.  I have been keeping an eye open, and a sense of things about me.  There are some ways I would rather not die?  Yes, I think that is it.  So, yes, I've been fighting this, and sort of losing.  Just, not losing everything, or yet.

I started taking some of my heart medicine today, and adding in aspirin.  It is either beginning to help, or I was about to get better anyway.  I suspect the former.  As I don't think this will get better on it's own, or... not right now.  Maybe, through time, I can back off medication.  Or... not.  Will have to see.

I am really hoping even the partial dose will allow me to sleep.  Who knows, perhaps it will let me die in my sleep.  I'll see tonight, and really through the next week.  Okay, yes, this is... probably as bad as it has gotten.  Though, it was through something like this, which eventually got them to treat my heart, and stop gaslighting me about this all being depression or other bogus diagnosis'.  Assholes.

Now, that time, I thought it was a "walking pneumonia", or some such.  I had it for six months.  So... yes.  I guess I have had it worse.  But it doesn't feel like it while in it.  This has just been a few days, maybe weeks?  Perhaps a month or two.  That was at least six months, though I... may have ignored it for a while before then as well.

It's staying a bit warmer.  Got to 77 up front, 74 everywhere else (downstairs).  Not sure about upstairs.  Outside?  I thought it had gotten to 88?  Or... was that yesterday?  77 for sure?  I thought so, but can't be absolutely certain.  In any case, a storm passed through.  It rained.  The temp is around 80 out there, currently.  Though not sure the rain is finished.  Very surprised we got any rain though.  Very odd for this time of year.  Usually, when rain stops for a bit, it's gone for good.  And we had it until a week ago, or so.  Strange for it to be back.  Farmers probably aren't happy.  They need some dry weather, hot dry weather, for crops to work out.

Just going out, getting the grill going, and checking the weather, wore me out a bit.  Not as bad as the last few days.  But... troubling.  Hoping it'll get better in the next few days.  Grilling up a steak today.  Hungry.  Or... am I?  Maybe I just know I need food.  Been back on kefir, and vinegar tonics.  Off the salami and cheese.  Ugh.  That was ripping me up.  I am almost... over it.

Well... on to gaming?  Hmm, after dinner anyway.