A next day, I guess.

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I've been up for a while.  Looking over the web, reviewing ads for the stores starting the month.  Considering some business.  As well, just waking up slowly.  It's been a good night, and day so far.  Slept well, woke well.  Good.

There is a sale on burger.  Almost tempting.  But it's still a bit higher than I prefer, and leaner than I really like.  At one store it is $4.99 but at the other it is $4.49?  Okay.  One may require larger packages.  But, at 93 lean, I don't prefer it to start.  And, the price is more than I want to pay.  So I'll skip, for now.

The nice thing about having two months of meat in the freezer, at least, is that if the prices aren't good, you don't HAVE to buy.  Eventually you do, but you have some time.  May still lose, but as a buyer, time is more on your side.  If sellers are asking too much, they simply won't receive purchases.  Either people don't have it or wont' spend it... finding other food.  Or... with some of us, even going without.

I have gone without, for a few days.  Burgers, that one day.  But little to no food before and since.  Hungry, but not well enough to get out for propane refills, and don't really like smoked meats... mostly.  Hungry as a bear, to be honest.  Coffee and kefir will just have to do until... I can... get back in shape, get a shower, clean up elsewise, and get out.  Oh well.  Haven't even been taking meds.  Can't... focus.  So be it.

I do have the furnace up to 72.  Not running, often, just in the mornings, and later at night?  But, it makes life a whole lot easier.  It had already started getting down to 66 in here.  Which isn't terrible, unless you are running around in pjs.  Trying to get a shower, when it is that cool, can be a push too.  Hmm?  I can set the timer, so it only runs in the day?  Ah, problem with that is my days and nights are pooched.  I can't be sure that... currently my "morning" is somewhere between noon and 16:00.  Varies even day to day, in ways that surprise me.

So, hungry.  But... can't really get to food.  I could go out, but seriously, fast food is so expensive and so terrible.  Now that I am used to real hamburger, their burgers taste rather... off.  I don't know what it is they are serving, but it isn't just hamburger.  It is addictive, which means they are probably adding sugars, and some other things.  I almost wonder if they aren't putting in micro doses of cocaine.  Just... enough?  Though, sugar is as addictive as that.  And worse, in a more passive way.  Fewer quick health issues, but it catches up over years.  Good for the medical industrial complex, and the farming industrial complex.  Working hand in hand.  Corporate, at this point.  You don't have to eat it.  You don't have to take the shot.  But they'll screw around until most people just give up and "just do it".  Enjoy.

I even worry a bit about the food I get at the store.  I do.  Can't trust people, anymore.  Nobody.  How much does a departmet manager, in a store, make?  A lot.  Do they know what is happening?  Some of it, I would guess.  But the "money" seems so good.  Just... go with the flow.  From top to bottom.  Plus, it's all for the good of the machine.  Not the people, but the "machines" serve the people, right?  Not when they eat them, no.  Ugh.

This isn't the America I knew, or thought I knew?  Was it always like that, I just didn't, couldn't, wouldn't, see?  All I know is, people are really up against it, and most of them refuse to see.  They vote for more of it.  Gleefully.  Hating those who realize, suggest, note.  This isn't the place I want to be anymore.  But, too, I don't have seeds sown here, or grown seed I know.  I could see, if I was strapped down with family and else, how refusing to see might seem to safest, easiest, path.  And, why hating someone who sees and knows might be the only way to cover those ill choices, and surrenders to evil.  But... I'm not stuck that way.  So... I do the only thing I can do.  Go.

Well, that's my theory.  And I'm sticking to it.  I can't help the cattle insistant on the slaughter that is coming up.  I can only let them go.  What did Christ say, if you are cast out?  Not welcomed?  Shake the dust off your cloak and move on.  It won't be better elsewhere?  True, but I know that.  I thought, at once, that this was a better place.  And, I think, at once, it was.  No more.  So be it.  I'll pray, from a distance, if I can make it out.  Hate as you will.  Forgive if you think simply wrong.  Don't... get in the way.  Later.