Needed, wanted.

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The steak was just a bit off.  More a texture, than taste, thing.  Thankfully.  Still, I was able to eat two thirds of the rather large steak.  The rest I'll save for later.  Sometimes, if the steak was too rough, I won't.  But this is pretty good.  And I was saving a better part from last, thinking sure I'd get it.  Just... couldn't.

It is sure getting cool out there.  But the grill was warmer.  Strangely.  I wonder if some propane is better than other propane?  I'm not sure what the deal is, but this is burning much, much, hotter.  Very odd.

I cooked the rest of the burger.  I don't put hot spices in while it is actually cooking.  That's hard on the lungs, nose, eyes.  I add it after, while it cools.  It should be spicy enough.  Further, I added butter, while it was cooking.  Hoping to put a bit more fat into the crumble.  It cooked beautifully, even without.  But it looked dry.  Why so dry?  Meh, oh well.  I'll sort it out.

I did a bit of research on the Phillipines.  Looking for when it is cooler.  As well, where it might be cooler.  Their rainy season begins in as early as July, and runs through October, the part more likely to have typhoons or such.  Though, it's cooler into January?  I don't know.  I'll have to sort it out better.

Since I am not going as a technical tourist, I'm not as worried about being out and about, or in inclement weather.  Dangerous weather?  Well, you know, that's... just a risk.  Will be looking for a woman, wife.  Not... fiddling with bar hopping, or island touring, or such.  Though, some of that would be find when the weather is better.

Though, dating women, talking to them, out and around, would be how to do it.  Find out if she speaks English well enough, if she can teach.  Initially me, but eventually children.  I don't want kids sent to school.  Homeschooling.  And, when in, find out if she can manage a home.  At least with some hired help, and any muscle I can lend as needed.

As mentioned, the goal is to go, find a wife, then move on to Argentina.  If I can't do that quickly enough, I'll just try my hand in Argentina.  But I think it's doable.  And, quickly really.  Within four to six months.  It's... a business transaction, with the hopes of more.  But, love... isn't to be expected.  It can't even be earned.  Either it happens, or it doesn't.  But it is rare.  I... have had it, shouldn't complain.  Most never come close to seeing it.  Just... business.  I've... seen it several times.  Lost it, wasn't ready for it, died and had to move on.  But I have had it.  Even while mostly dead.  Which... leaves some room for hope.

More music, targeted.  But I'm not sharing it.  Some things from... way, way, back.  I couldn't believe.  Doubted that was still on y.t.  Dark, from when I wrote more openly about the darkness I have been, known.  But... too... there was some sort of strange hope in it.  As well, a few other sorts of songs.  Including one which... I think is my mother's anger... at the prospect of me leaving the country.  Don't know why, though.  She doesn't actually like me.  Love?  I suppose, for whatever that ever really means.  But like?  No.  My family is all left.  The left bases... friendships, family ties, on politics.  It's just the way it goes.  I've had to accept that and move on.  Still, she isn't happy about me leaving.  Honestly not sure why.

Hmm... almost seven already?  But the sun isn't up?  I was wondering if it was overcast.  No, just... it's October already.  Well, almost.  And the sun is sleeping until later and later in the day.  Still, that's not terrible.  On to bed?  I guess.  No gaming tonight.  Music drew me, especially powerful, very specific, tunes.  Someone calling me, dancing with me... flirting?  Or... presenting that notion.  Perhaps a deepfake, difficult to ever know.  But I... think it was a woman, though too I really wonder if mother... didn't find her way in to kick me in the teeth, even if through dreamwaves.  She's... like me... and I am like that.  Not... hateful, or spiteful, but strong of spirit.  Able to move things, in ways.  So be it.

Hmm, yeah.  I got the meat up so it's on to bed.  Goodnight.