.
It was just too cold! I had to turn the ac off, and open the windows. Then it got really warm. Not all that much difference between 73 and 77, but it... was difficult. Why was 73 so frigid seeming to the senses, and 77 so hot? Whatever, I finally got used to it being warm, then slept well. But 73 was just too cold. My legs ached from the cold? Very strange.
Still, I was able to wake, get everything off and the windows open, then get back to bed in very quick, short, order. Plus let Sassy know the ac was off. She can handle a fan, but not the ac. She didn't arrive immediately, but I woke to her sneaking in later. I can hear her, even with the fan blasting me.
Awake right at eight. It was 76 near me, 75 in the main, upstairs. I may turn the ac on midafternoon, up there. Let it run through the night until I wake up freezing again. There was a time when I couldn't wake, or act, through the night, when it was cold. So just had to suffer. Things seem to be better? Health is lightly improving.
Oh, this time I weighed first thing, before having anything. And, after voiding my first time. Just peeing this time. Though I really like it when I can have a bm. But, on carnivore, that just isn't a daily thing. Or, not usually. If I fast for a few days, then eat a lot, it... can move several times. But even then, not always. Or, if I fall off, and eat trash food, then get back on it for a while, if that is often softserve. Bleh.
But, today, and from now on, at the minimum, when I weigh in I won't have had even a water, certainly not food. Just to keep it as even as possible. The scale read 228.8 this morning. Nice. Into the 220's, and going on down. I should think I have come down from 236.x in the last four or five days? Or so. Lets just say eight pounds, give or take. I'll take that, especially if I can keep on that. My initial goal is two hundred pounds, though possibly 190, maybe 180. Depending on how I look, feel, measure. Loose skin? I don't think that goes away. It's just a reminder, like a scar. Some say they lose it, if I think they probably actually have surgery(ies), but don't tell us that.
Blood sugar is 129 fasting. Still a bit odd, but okay. What I changed is I stopped adding one thing to my coffees. It was never a problem before. I do wonder if that has been loaded with sugar, or some other carb. Sabotaged. Yes, I do think they would do that. Whoever comes in, doesn't like me. It isn't just a thieving thing. It is active hatred too. They have done other things. Can tell.
I think I will cancel the sell option on my home. I got a rough offer, that is enough. I don't want people in or around my home, until I get things in much better shape. Will... work on things, if I can. Now that I am coming back to better shape? Or... I think so. I'll see what I can do in the living room this week, and maybe this front room.
They are much improved, and staying in pretty good shape so far. But I would like to finish them. Then, if I can get the living room cleared, cleaned, and emptied, I'd like to get a steam vac in there. Run it morning, then evening, maybe two days? Especially since I'm not in there. I have those clear plastic runners, so can make a path through it.
Then put furniture and such back, maybe set up an office space in there. Then begin in on the spare bedroom, then master bedroom. Cleared, cleaned, but this time, do both rooms, with the steam vacuum. They haven't had much traffic, so just a morning and afternoon hit, on both, should be enough. Let them dry and begin organizing what is to be packed, what is to be tossed or perhaps offered for charity?
All this week? Doubtful, by maybe in two weeks? Maybe. Then the kitchen, and on back. Though, perhaps, working on my bedroom upstairs, in bits and spits? I suspect I'll be able to get a good one or two or three rooms good, before crashing hard again. For a week or month, or two. Then back to it? One can hope. But... the gig is to get to it.
As fall hits, I am hoping to do some work on the lawn, too. Or... something. Ugh. Can't be out in the heat as much as I would want, in order to do anything solid out there? Though, might try to do small areas, things, in the lead up to more work? Maybe.
It was 66 outside, when I woke. It's 76 in this front room, 73 in the main. I have things open, for now, for a bit. Medicine is down, with the first water. I'm thinking, before too long, I'll get the griddle hot and fry a sirloin. Then, on to life otherwise? Mostly just wake until I get the griddle, and coffee, going. Good morning.
Bit better, took a "sick" day for me. Don't know if it did any good, sleep off again. Nasty burrito was so good that I had another with salsa. The sour cream from the "open" container was "grainy" maybe sat in a cold spot and caught a freeze. Scraped it off and used "fresh", better. Doing up the salmon now, well done with lemon, garlic, and hot pepper. Forgot butter till now, will add that to the final heat. The fillet is "resting" now, melting butter. Resisting mini-potatoes.....
ReplyDeleteI just realized what I wrote. Good, strong, proven, Man, from hearty Viking stock, reduced to typing about "resting" a heated meat and resisting the siren song of "mini-potatoes"
FML.
"What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end"
Only a poor sod doesn't understand days of rest are good things. You do realize, those of viking stock have a nearly crippling arm issue, probably from rowing too far, too hard, which causes them near paralysis. So... yeah. You ought to look that up. And other traits. Might... make sense of some of your oddities.
ReplyDeleteOh? Hey? I've been praying about some things. And? Well, God seems to have offered me an answer. If it is about you. A... book, came to my knowledge. I know, you aren't catholic. Don't think you have to be. Stupid people tricks, from God, seem to work for us fools no matter what we say? Something like that.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0997989327/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_U_Co5EEb40NF6EJ
I... believe.
I was tempted by pizza, and burritos. Went with a Jimmy John sandwich. The best of the bad choices, I think. No soda, either. Ugh. I... understand temptation.
Dupuytren contracture, have it, Mom has mild, Her Mom severe requiring surgery's, Great Grandfather had it so bad his hands were fists, and as a toddler I thought he was hiding treats in his hands. I'd try to pry them open. I can still lay my hands flat on a hard surface, but, my left little finger is curling inward. Left middle and right little starting to thicken.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the book suggestion, denominations of a religion matter little to me, "reasons" I seek my truth, will look at this.
I've found fans can warn of an approaching body better than silence, because any body part in the airstream varies the pitch of the noise... "alert" 's how i "hear" the dogs behind me.
ReplyDeleteBoth my pinkies curl. Not for that reason. I thought... I could be a smart ass, since it was training. I found out... they can hurt you really bad. And... did. Lesson... learned? Or a dream? I... well... the fingers are broken, and the only bones on my body ever broken in... spite of... things. So... who really knows.
ReplyDeleteStill, I'll take what I got over what you have. That... is some serious shit.
I hope the book helps. I am... actually... planning to read the book, and some of the others of hers. I want... a different future.
Right? But Sassy is below the windbelt. She avoids it. Humans stink, too. I can smell people. But I can "see her", in my mind. Hear her, without sound. I can sense her sneaking up on me, through her senses even beyond those things. I am a windwalker. She is... family.
Too cool. The Dogs were "friendly" earlier... sleeping now, have treats, they're missing out. Will miss them when I'm gone.
ReplyDeleteProbably they'll miss you more than the other way around. I... don't think you quite get how it works. When you've crossed that line, and realize... everything... it's... not how it seems. I wish I could help you see that much more deeply.
ReplyDeleteRemember, when you learned how things worked, in school? And you tried to explain it to someone who... couldn't figure out simple mechanics, let alone thermodynamics or physics? I'm telling you, it's... not how you might think.
Not that I support the notion, but? If you pull that fuse? Make sure to clean up your life. Go through every sin you know or think you know, and seek forgiveness. Let go of any claim to any other who has sinned against you. Leaving it for between God and whomever.
Don't go with hate, or anger, go only because you simply can't carry on. Even then, ask God to forgive you for even that. Go humbly. Even as an attempted atheist, I... did that.
The time I saw purgatory? It was the time I did these things. I... keep those clear and clean, up to date, and more when I can stand, and make it to church, rightly dressed (yes, that is important), and on time and such... and to confession (it's how we do). Reminds me, I need to get in.
But... if you are going to go? The only hope is to let go of everything of sin, owed, or which you owe. Count to the penny, and average up. No promises even then, should you... pull that plug. But it's what... offered me purgatory instead of hell, I do believe. Even when I tried my damnedest not to believe. Even when I didn't believe in purgatory, or even know about it.
If, as I advise again, find another way. Suffer, with gratitude. I do, almost every day.