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Three thirty going on four. Awake. I turned off the ac up there, changed which fan is going, opened the windows. Didn't look at the temps, but in the low 70s. Covered a few things up, pulled a few things out. May do a bit more of that down here. Set water to boil, set up coffee for when that goes. Will have medicine shortly.
It is 62 outdoors, the low 70s front and main down here. Good. I have the place open, and airing out. I won't feed Sassy until later. Too early.
A few changes in plans. What I had been thinking to clean out, old kefir jars, I think I'll just toss. Too many, too old, too much work. I hate to waste, but I am too down, there are too many, it just won't work.
Today? Business, mostly. Had hoped to be getting to work, but there are so many things to do that house cleaning, and for the last week, just hasn't been the highest priority. While sinking, swim. Don't think, don't darn socks, don't clean up minor messes, just... swim. Get air in, keep your head out of the water, and kick those feet. That's... what I have been doing. And continue to do.
Blood sugar? I... didn't want to check. As stupid as it has been lately. But, check I did. Same with weight. Bad news first. I am weighing in at 233.8? Stupid scale. Now for the good news. Blood sugar is 118 fasting. Why, how, which, when? Absolutely shut up. I don't know how it works well, or poorly, one way or the other.
A fatted coffee going in, water for after. Medicine in as well. It's as good as the morning can get, this morning, this time, for now. Meh. I've had worse.
But, yes. Things are on the go. Phone may be in today, or tomorrow. Business will begin today. A tender? Maybe. It probably won't be enough, but it may be a start. Everything starts at the start, even the end believe it or else? Believe it. This could be the beginning, or the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning... or of the last beginning? Who... ever really knows. If I do know whatever is going to happen? This is the start of it.
Hmm, maybe some aspirin. Just... stress, concerns, consternations, days of concentration back to back, work added in as I have been able. It... begins to erode a body, things begin to hurt, loosely. A few simple humble painpills might help. I can't even remember the last time I took something for the pains or aches. Though I do remember the last two or three times I wrote suggesting I would, I didn't. The idea never transpired. But, this time, yes.
Good evening, night, morning? Good day, later.
Sure, "pain is just weakness leaving the body"... but, why does it take so long leaving?!
ReplyDeleteAgain up against that salmon wall, thawed, just not "feeling" it, again. Even though the last fixing was excellent. Trying to vary beef & fish, used to love big chicken breasts on the grill, I see "she" bought a "family" pack of pork... We'll see what happens with that... no family anymore...they're gone.
And in a week or two so am I... for awhile.
Wait until you realize? It... won't ever leave the body. I have learned to merely embrace so much suck that it would kill most. Or you'd sure as hell figure out how to sh*t or get off the pot. What a... kick.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I honestly wish I could help you. I so want to want steak, but it just doesn't taste good, not even ribeye.
More, I am so tempted by other food, bad food. Pizza, burritos, or... something?
On the good side, after the last few times I ate at McDirt, and Abpukes, I won't be back. The food literally caused me nausea. And, come to think of it, the last pizzas I had were so thin, dry, with so few toppings, that I... and the crusts? Getting stingy even with crust? Really? While charging $30 a pie? No.
So... it is getting easier and easier to completely blow fast junk off. But... still? So hungry!?! For something! But what?
I think I went through this the last time I got deeper into carnivore. I just can't eat. Not beef, not... Hmm... might look around for wild-caught US fish, see if anything is out there. Sniff it though. That's the final tell. Just... take your time, be sure. Bleh.