Still awake.

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Not in misery.  There is that.  Not exactly getting to anything.  Just... awake.  Slightly cold.  I think I'll turn the heat up, at least for a bit.

The hope is to take a shower, since I don't seem to be going down.  As well, to wash some or all of the bedding pieces which arrived.  All cotton, so it should wash well.  Mattress covers, sheets (hospital, not fitted), duvet covers, and... I think that is it.  But several of each, several types of some.  Experimenting.

New mattresses, but those won't be washed.  I went with twin xl.  I have been sleeping on mattresses about two thirds the width of twin, if the same lengths as the xl.  Rather a tight squeeze for a pseudo giant.  I think what I am sleeping on is about 28" wide?  Or so.  Nope, 26" wide is all.  The twin xl mattresses are a full 39" wide!  I'll... sleep a bit more... comfortably?  Will find out.  Been sleeping thin for... years now.  It was a bit of a... discomfort, at first.  Then I got used to it.  Just... wanted a bit more, and all cotton.  So... here I am.

Day dreams, and dreams, of women.  Not... sex.  Though, the... idea does filter through on streams of looks, gestures, mutual contemplations.  But sex, really, is just another way for a man and woman to speak, or articulate their care, want, need, of one to the other.  With the promise of more, Children.  If... some aren't so pleased about that.  For me, without that potential, there is no reason for sex.

More just being in her company.  Sometimes more happily than others, if never quite for the reasons simply assumed.  Feed and sex a man, and he is mostly good.  Be his associate, confidant, confessor sometimes, mother, sister, daughter... be many things to him, so he doesn't need to go looking for what is missing?  If you can be each others needs and wants, and even each other sometimes, I think you have it.  Or... that's... always what I sort of thought it would, could, or... should be?  The joining.  Not sure if it's real.  I found a few I wanted to see about that with, but the first one poisoned the well.  Couldn't... trust to stick around, find out, after that.  Now?  Maybe.  I'd... like to find out.  Just not in America.  The state stands firmly against the sanctity of marriage.  Even churches seem more against than for it.  Though those are just the tip of the iceberg.

Still, would be good to be with a woman.  Have a few children.  For good or ill, just for sure.  That's not an American thing.  The corruption of the elites have been inflicted upon the masses, at this point.  President Trump can't fix that.  Ending no-fault divorces?  Eliminating "family courts", which may not even be in judicial?  I think those are executive, so he might be able to eliminate those.  Unless they are state level?  Just... thinking out loud.

I do wonder what could be done, at the federal, executive levels?  And... what... after some correcting in congress if things go well, could be changed with those two... especially if courts are corrected and tended.  Limits, but maybe something.  If families aren't brought back, and protected form liberalism and else, America really won't make it.  And... shouldn't.  The only thing worse than a nation without families is a nation without God.  Without both is... where we are.

Anyway.  Pleasant dreaming and day dreaming.  Even if women are... annoying.  Even an old grump, such as me... enjoys annoyances, dalliances, dances with divas, devils, darlings.  Mostly.  *grins*  Even a whirl with lady death, from time to time, brings youthful spirit... and vigor.  A man can dream.

Oh, on to some food, then putting laundry to go.  When that load finishes, a shower.  That will give me a few hours to... get ready to stand, get cleaned off, and such.  May shave the whiskers in there, before the shower.  Then shave after?  Maybe.

Ah, that might be it?  It is 4 F out there!  (~ -16 C)  While it felt warm enough, and was reading 57 F upstairs (strangely, really), just the sense of cold might have waken me, kept me from sleeping for some reason?  I... turned the heat up, while putting the bedding in.  Some goes back.  All advertised as cotton, three out of four of the ordered items were.  Not the mattress cases.  Oh well, back to a return, and shopping again.

Tea might be good.  I'll be heating the remnant of the steak shortly too.  Yes.  I'll... do a few things tonight.  If I really want to get the miter saw on the stand.  Later.