Well, improving.

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Struggling through.  I was able to stay awake until 14:30?  Or so.  I starte waking at almost 20:00, but was able to stay down until 22:00.  An hour or two here, an hour or two there, over a while, it is hoped that days can be had again.  For what it serves.  Lately, days have been rather dark.  Not nighttime dark, but dark enough so that it doesn't quite matter, or cold enough, or wet and cold enough, that it... feels like permanent bedtime.

Fine, though.  I'll keep at it.  Rough, extra tired from pushing, but... I like the struggle.  I have learned to embrace the pain, misery, and found the life is better if one just nods to that, acknowledging it, then shrugs and goes on.  It isn't even all that bad.  Just... something to realize.  If one must suffer, might as well take note just to show, the next time, that you can climb back up.  Or, if it becomes that time, that resting in the grave isn't all that bad either.  Suffer, until you don't.  But don't let that get between you and your goals, efforts... as much as possible.

I have been so cold, tired, and exhausted lately, that getting to much isn't happening.  But, while I am not doing anything, I am considering what to do.  I am doing it in my mind.  Going through boxes, going through items and books, sorting what to keep at toss.  Doing laundry, dusting areas, sweeping, and other things.  Keeping these things in my mind, seeing what places look like cleared, emptied.  Dreaming of these things, day dreaming too, but also consciously visualizing these things.  It... will happen.

It is 28 F, out there.  Not bitterly cold, but not all that warm either.  It got up to 38, that I saw, yesterday.  Higher, maybe, but I didn't see it.  That's... nice.  But, so much moisture, when it thaws, that it feels colder than when it is 28?  A different kind of cold?  But yes.  Still, Spring is sprunging.... or... heading that way.  A bit early, so not to be trusted.  Just enjoyed when she shines a warmish smile.

Same with walking.  It got a bit too cold, then snowed.  I'm not going out there, to walk around on ice, or in slush, with traffic as it often can be.  No.  But, in time, I'll get back to that.  Especially now that I have walking sticks at the ready.  Two sets, I found another pair.  And while I couldn't get the others to work, these I was able to sort out on my own?  Okay.

Fatted coffee right off.  I'd like to have a steak a bit later.  Tended the litter boxes and fed Sassy.  I'll get her fresh water in a bit.  This, that, and the other thing.  At least I can do little things.  I do believe I'll get a shower in today.  Sometime shortly, I am hoping.  And I have been doing spot laundry.  Little bits as it has become available.  If I can get the shower going, I'll put some of the last dishes in to soak.  Getting closer.  And, since I"m not cooking much, save outside, I'm not burying myself.  Even the flatware is being kept up on, as I toss that in with whatever else is soaking, then add it to the dishwasher when I run that.  Of course I do, or should be.  Just... never thought it would be that easy.  Or that the items would be clean enough for my standards.  But they are, easily.  Even glass!  Amazing.

Blood sugar is 123 fasting.  So... good.  Not... perfect.  Better than the 140s to 150s.  And improving in starts and stops, over time.  I'll... keep at that, too.

Anyway... a new day.  Things to do.  Might barely be walking, lately, but I... dream of more.  And... am doing... some very small things.  Hoping to do more actual work today.  Later.